Blessing Information Day - Part 1

Okay, so anyway, as you know, we're here for Blessing Information Day. It's just to find out a little bit more about the blessing and tradition, not just within our own spiritual community, because our own spiritual community didn't start in 1953 or 1960, but it goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. This is something that, you know, for God, it's been a long time. I'll just introduce myself a little bit. Most of you know me fairly well, probably bored out of your mind listening to me rattling away, the same with Sam. This is my wife, and we were blessed in 1982 at Madison Square Garden. That's when I had more hair than I do now, and we've got four children. I think most of you know most of them. That's Robin and Christopher. Again, quite a long time ago, about ten years now. We've got two children; that's Charlotte, the oldest, and another one, Jonathan Arena. He just came back from Singapore, stayed in England for a month, and last Sunday, they went off to Bermuda to work and lie on the beach. Ferguson Alexander is Elizabeth, and this is us all together just before Jonathan Arena went off to Singapore a few years ago.

So how did it all start? Well, as I said, our tradition goes all the way back to God and Adam and Eve. In the day when God created human beings, He made them in His image and likeness. He created male and female, and He blessed them. Here you can see various things. First of all, there's God, and God created human beings. But then God created us in His image and likeness, and the image and likeness of God is masculine and feminine, male and female. It's not that God is a man or just a father, but God is a father and a mother, one God who embodies masculinity and femininity, a father and a mother. God creates like Him, and then He blessed them. God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it.' This word 'blessing' that we use comes from here, and the word blessing is mentioned many times in the Bible; it's a really important idea. God blessed them, and He blessed them again and again, many times. So why do we need God's blessing, and what does it mean?

If we think about what it is to be a human being, what is our existential reality? Well, what's the existential reality of every single human being, without exception? What do we have? There's only a few of you, so we'll do a little bit of questions and answers to see how much you've been paying attention during workshops. Yeah, body and spirit, or mind and body. Is there anybody here who doesn't have a mind and a body? I mean, it might be somewhere else, but hopefully, it'll be here. When you die, then your mind and body are separated. So we have a mind and body. This has nothing to do with whether you believe in God or not; this is just the existential reality of what it is to be a human being. We have a mind and body. So what's the other existential reality of every single human being, whether we like it or not? Yeah, sorry, I just got reading glasses on, so it wasn't very focused. Okay, hi. What's the other existential reality of every single human being? Well, that's the mind-body thing, a different dimension this time. What? Yeah, that's the mind-body thing. Our body goes that way, and our spirit goes the other way. Okay, what? Yeah, well, we did that. Whether we like it or not, we exist in relationship with other people. Who here doesn't have a mum and dad? Nobody created themselves; it's just an existential reality of every single human being. Whether we like it or not, we exist in relationship with parents and maybe brothers and sisters, neighbours, and teachers. We exist in relationship with other human beings.

What's the other existential reality? Whether we like it or not, nothing to do with God; it's just the way it is. It's another dimension: three fundamental dimensions of life. The relationship between our mind and body, the relationship we have with other human beings, and what's the other fundamental relationship? With the earth, that's right. We live in a physical world. Are the laws of gravity optional? Whether you like it or not, if you jump off a skyscraper, you end up like a piece of jam on the pavement. That's just the way it is. This is our existential reality as human beings. As embodied beings, we also have basic desires. If you ask most young people what they want, most young people say, 'I want to grow up and become an adult.' Why? Because then you become a responsible person; you can make your own decisions and choices about what it is you want to do with your life. Most people then want to grow up and become an adult. Not everybody wants to remain like Peter Pan. Again, most human beings, I think pretty much without exception, want to have friends, and most human beings also want to get married. Most of the people who get married also want to have children, want to have a family. Why do people have children? I finally figured it out a few years ago. The reason people have children is so that they can have grandchildren to enjoy playing with. Most people then want to live a creative life or at least be prosperous and wealthy. This is also connected to the existential reality of growing up, becoming a mature person, what kind of relationships we have, and our relationship with the natural world. These are all about desires, and when these desires are fulfilled, they may experience joy.

This is what it says in the Principle: desire, which people often consider sinful, is actually God-given. Joy is the purpose of creation, and joy can only be obtained when desires are fulfilled. Some religions regard desire as being sinful. A sort of misunderstanding of Buddhism says that desire is sinful, but actually, it would have said it's craving that leads to suffering, not desire itself. Joy is the purpose of creation, and joy can only be obtained when a desire is fulfilled. If you don't want anything, then it's very hard to feel joy in that sense. For example, if there's someone you love and you haven't seen this person for a long time, you miss them. When you see them and they walk through the door, your heart jumps with joy, and you want to go and give them a hug. Yes, I know, I just make it up as I go along; that's the way it is. If you're hungry and suddenly food appears, you feel happy. You don't feel happy just from seeing the food; you feel happy when you can eat the food. Your desire for food is satisfied, and you feel happy. So if we had no desire, we could never experience joy. If we had no desire, we would not have any aspiration to receive God's love, to live, to perform good deeds, or to improve ourselves. If you never felt hungry, what would happen to you? You'd die; you'd starve. You wouldn't have any motivation to eat. You'd think that's a waste of time. Being hungry is nothing wrong with being hungry, nothing wrong with wanting to eat. I think most people enjoy eating and enjoy eating good food in the company of others.

What about sexual desire? If there was no sexual desire, what would happen to the human race? They would become extinct. The reality is, very few people, what do you call it? In order for the human race to continue, you need to have 2.4 children per couple, isn't it? Now it's sort of less than two, and a lot of populations are going to demographic decline. The reality is, a lot of people are not having much sex these days; it's just the way it is. What would happen if you didn't want to improve your living standard? Where would you be? Living in a cave? The desire to improve one's standard of living is a natural desire. These are all good desires, and when you can move into a nicer house, you can get something better. How do you feel? You feel happy. If your toaster breaks down and you can't afford to replace it, you're not happy. But if you can afford to replace it and get a nice toaster, you feel happy. These are desires, and when we fulfill these, we experience joy. Without desire, neither God's purpose of creation, those three blessings, nor the providence of restoration could be fulfilled. The challenge is how to fulfill these desires in a way that is moral and meaningful, and that's why we need God's blessing.

So what does blessing mean? It comes from the Bible, so obviously it's a Hebrew word originally. The Hebrew is 'barak', which is translated as blessing. In Hebrew, it means kneel, bless, praise, salute. You might wonder what's the relationship between blessing and kneeling. Often when people pray, they get down on their knees. If you're invited to go to Buckingham Palace to be knighted by the Queen, then you will bow and get on your knees. Why? Because the Queen is really short, and she might cut your head off by mistake. It connects like that. The core meaning is actually knee. So why would it be knee? What's the weakest part of the human anatomy? It's actually the knees. When you get frightened, what happens to your knees? They start knocking. Ever had that experience? You're so worried, so scared, suddenly your knees start knocking. Can you control it? Can you stop them from knocking? Never tried it? Ever been in that experience before? No? Okay, maybe it'll happen one day. Anyway, once you're standing there and you're scared out of your wits, your knees start knocking. It's very high; it's impossible to stop the knocking. That's why when people give speeches and sermons, they're always standing behind a lectern. Even though they're really calm on the outside, underneath, their knees are shaking because they're scared. I'm not scared of you; that's why I'm sitting down here instead of standing up behind a lectern.

So what's up? The blessing from God, then, is an empowerment to be able to do what is not within our natural capabilities. Without God's strength, without God's blessing, we cannot accomplish all these things. That's the idea; it's connected to knees. Without God's blessing, people struggle to attain mind-body unity. Sometimes people end up becoming alcoholics or lazy or lying or having identity crises. Without God's blessing, people struggle to attain good relationships. Very often, people get married because they love each other, but as we know, often marriages don't work out. People fall out of love, they get divorced, and they get into conflict with their husband and wife, with their kids, with their parents, with their neighbours, the teacher. Sometimes people end up completely lonely because they fall out with everybody, and nobody wants to talk to them, and they just become alone. Even though they want to experience love, even though they want to have friends, because they can't manage those relationships, they become lonely. Sometimes people struggle to manage the world, such as finances or keeping their room tidy or the garden looking neat. Of course, there's a whole green issue of pollution and everything. This is the idea: without God's blessing, it's very hard to realise these blessed desires in a way that is moral and meaningful. Again, sometimes people struggle to find meaning in life. You find that people are very good at mind-body unity through sport; they've got a family, lots of friends, they're very wealthy and rich, but sometimes they feel that life is empty and meaningless. Even though they've got all this wealth, they feel something is empty in life.

So if we think about why God created us, the universe, and us, or what is the purpose of life, why did God create human beings? It's a really important question. To be honest, I'm an RE teacher by profession, and I've studied lots of different religions. No religion is able to give as good an answer as True Parents have given about why God created human beings. Sometimes people say, 'Well, God created us to worship Him.' Okay, do you have children so they'll bow down and worship you? If that's what you think your children are going to do, you're going to be mightily disappointed. I remember when my son, Robert, my oldest son, was about four. I used to come home from the office, living in Moscow at the time, and when I arrived, he brought me my slippers. I thought, 'Wow, he's perfect!' It lasted about six months; it's been downhill ever since. Parents don't have children so they worship you. The idea that God created human beings to worship Him, which is the explanation basically of Christians and Muslims, when you look at it, you think, 'Well, is that really a good God to do that?' That motivation. Father said the most essential aspect of God is heart, and that is also biblical insight. Heart is the impulse to love an object and is a fountain and motivator of love. It's the nature of heart to seek an object to love. God, in essence, feels joy when He can have an object that He created. As part of human nature, we want to have someone with whom we can love. We look after different things; we may have a cat we look after and hug and embrace our cat like a pet. Sometimes people graduate to a dog, but if you start reading your poetry to your dog, all it's going to do is woof. You can't really appreciate the depth of what it is that you want to share, your poetry or your music or whatever it is. That's why people look for another human being, a friend, and not just anybody. We look for someone who can appreciate and understand our heart, what it is we want to share, and who can treat our heart as something incredibly valuable and appreciate and respond in a meaningful way. Often, we're looking for someone who's been through similar experiences to our own. Sometimes we have lots of experiences, and you think, 'I can't share with this person; this person has never been through that.' This person doesn't have the capacity to understand what I've been through and what I'm saying. That's why I often talk about soldiers; old soldiers who've been in a war, it doesn't matter which country they were fighting for, they've always been through very similar experiences, and they can talk about all these experiences knowing that the other person would have been through similar experiences and can understand.

What they're talking about and can appreciate it. I won't judge them and won't accuse them. When God created human beings, He created us in His image and likeness because He wanted to create beings who had the capacity to appreciate and receive everything that God wanted to give and to respond in a meaningful way. This is similar to meeting someone on a journey, perhaps on a train. You might start engaging in a conversation, and what's the first topic? The weather. You want to ensure that the person understands where you're coming from and can speak your language. You might then move on to talk about sports, music, or other interests, finding common ground. As the conversation deepens, you may feel as if you've known this person your whole life, leading to a desire to meet again and potentially share your life with them. This is often why people get married; they find someone with whom they can be completely themselves, who appreciates everything they want to share and love them unconditionally. This reflects the nature of God, who created us in His image and likeness, male and female.

These kinds of relationships are always based on free will; there is no compulsion or force behind them. It is all about uniting through love. As His father said, love is what brings people into unity and is a source of incredible joy. That is why God created us in His image and likeness. Saint Paul said we should become imitators of God, which is why God gave us the three great blessings. God is a being of heart, logos, and creativity, which is a concept from unification thought. Through fulfilling the first blessing, becoming a fruitful person, we can inherit God's heart and experience His heart in our lives. When we achieve mind-body unity, life becomes incredibly joyful. Is anyone here fond of dancing? When everything is working out well, how do you feel? When all your moves are coordinated, you experience incredible joy. This is true whether you're dancing, doing martial arts, running, or playing snooker. When you have that mind-body unity, life is intense and rich with joy.

Through fulfilling the second blessing, we can inherit God's nature. As a creator, God created the universe, and through having dominion over creation, we can inherit God's creativity and become like Him. Essentially, God gave us the three blessings, and by fulfilling these blessings, we can become like God, reflecting His image and likeness. The first blessing, which we work on throughout our lives, is the ability to create and complete our character. This is an existential reality; it has nothing to do with God. The way I am today is a result of everything I've thought, said, and done in the past. All the decisions I make contribute to creating my character. This is true for all human beings, whether we like it or not. It was one of the great insights of Buddhism.

The good news is that I can change the way I think. If I change my thoughts, it changes how I feel. If my feelings change, I can look at people differently, and my feelings towards them may change. If my feelings change, I can start talking to them differently, and the relationship itself will change. Even though we are the result of everything we've thought, said, and done in the past, we can change. The future is not determined by the past; it is always open. No matter what we've done in the past, we can change our thoughts, feelings, and how we relate to others. Through that, we will start to change and become different people. You might think you're too old to change, but I often say that I have changed. Those who knew me long ago might remember I was incredibly reserved and unfriendly, always shy and self-centered. I remember sitting at dinner once, wanting to ask for the salt and pepper but unable to do so because of my shyness.

Years later, I found that I had changed. My wife was seriously ill about 15 years ago, and during that time, many people I had known appeared out of nowhere to help. I had been a leader in the UK in the mid-1980s, and a young Korean girl joined our community. She had a free spirit, and I could see she wouldn't survive in our community. She left and I never saw her again. However, about 30 years later, when my wife was recovering from surgery, this same girl, now grown, contacted me out of the blue. She visited my wife, brought her gifts, and was a real friend during a difficult time. This experience made me reflect on how I had been a shy, self-centered person who wished I had made more friends. I got involved in teaching and, over time, I noticed I was introducing myself to everyone and giving hugs, which was a significant change for me. I realised that my earlier prayer to make more friends had been answered, and I had unconsciously changed through God's influence.

I started changing when I was 50. You may be 18 or think you've messed up your life, but there is always a future. Even if you're 50, you can still change. Just put your life in God's hands and ask Him to work in your life. You don't need to consciously think about changing; if you allow God to work, He will change you and help you fulfil your potential. I remember a young man who joined our community at 17 or 18. He felt his life was ruined because of an accident he had with his moped. I encouraged him to see that this event opened him up to new possibilities, including hearing the Divine Principle. We must reconceptualise our experiences and understand that they do not determine the rest of our lives. We can learn and change, but we can only do that by opening ourselves to receiving God's blessings. Without God's blessing, it is hard to undergo these changes. I know I wouldn't have changed if I hadn't made that little prayer; I would have continued as I had for the previous 50 years. The importance of mind-body unity is crucial in this process of growth.

Physical functions, such as eating, are essential for babies. You teach your child to fit into a feeding schedule as soon as possible, and you encourage them not to eat snacks between meals. Eating, therefore, becomes more than just satisfying a desire for food; it transforms into a spiritual activity. Similarly, sleeping is crucial, as babies often fall asleep at inconvenient times and wake up at odd hours. Establishing a routine helps them sleep at the right times, incorporating rituals such as changing, brushing teeth, saying goodnight, reading a story, and saying a prayer. This process invests sleep with spiritual meaning, reinforcing the concept of mind-body unity and control over the physical body.

One of the most important aspects of mind-body unity is promise-keeping. The most significant promise one makes is during marriage vows, which is why we refrain from drinking or smoking. Engaging in these activities does not enhance one's abilities; rather, they lead to addiction and destroy mind-body unity. When someone is addicted, they experience immense suffering and craving, which is contrary to the joy that comes from good mind-body unity. This aligns with Buddha's teaching that craving leads to suffering. Achieving good mind-body unity allows us to experience joy and fulfilment in life.

The marshmallow test is a fascinating example of delayed gratification. Child psychologists conducted a study with four- and five-year-olds, offering them a choice: eat one marshmallow immediately or wait five minutes for three marshmallows. Observing the children revealed varying responses; some immediately ate the marshmallow, while others resisted temptation and waited. The researchers later tracked these children's life outcomes and found that those who could delay gratification tended to perform better academically, manage finances more effectively, and have healthier relationships. In contrast, those who could not control their impulses often struggled with debt and poor concentration. This highlights the importance of teaching children to delay gratification from a young age, fostering mind-body unity.

To fulfil the first blessing, Adam and Eve were meant to establish a foundation of faith and substance. God commanded them not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, which can be interpreted as a directive to maintain sexual purity. This commandment was intended to protect them from engaging in harmful relationships before they were mature enough to handle them. Sexual abuse is one of the most damaging experiences for a young person, and God wanted Adam and Eve to focus on developing their spiritual lives rather than becoming distracted by premature relationships. The foundation of faith is about living according to one's conscience, while the foundation of substance involves achieving maturity and integrity.

Maturity means embodying the principles of the Divine Principle. Just as a medical student must learn and internalise knowledge to succeed, Adam and Eve needed to mature to become lords of creation and establish proper order in the world. This includes mastery over their physical desires, as addiction to gambling, computer games, or social media can lead to a lack of mind-body unity. It is crucial to become the kind of person someone would want to marry, which requires overcoming addictions and achieving good mind-body unity. Addiction rewires the brain, making it difficult to break bad habits, and this is why it is essential to cultivate self-control and discipline.

The consequences of failing to achieve mind-body unity can be severe. The Divine Principle teaches that we can only become good if our bodies obediently follow our minds. When the body rebels against the mind's commands, evil can grow within us. This is why a reasonable religious life is necessary to make the body submit to the higher mind's commands. Anger, for example, can lead to destructive actions if not controlled. Losing one's temper can result in severe consequences, such as causing harm to others. Similarly, uncontrolled sexual desires can lead to abusive behaviours. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for developing a healthy relationship with oneself and others.

C.S. Lewis, a prominent philosopher and Christian apologist, wrote extensively about love and desire. He argued that the real problem with masturbation is that it takes a natural desire, which, when fulfilled properly, leads to a deeper connection with another person, and turns it into a self-centred pursuit. This self-centredness confines individuals to a fantasy realm, preventing them from forming genuine relationships. Lewis illustrated this by comparing it to a harem, where one can indulge in fantasy without the sacrifices and adjustments required in real relationships. This fantasy ultimately leads to increased self-adoration and isolation, contrasting sharply with the growth and fulfilment that come from real love and connection.

A husband's sexual organ is owned by his wife, and conversely, the owner of a wife's sexual organ is her husband. This means that, as the father said, one cannot use their sexual organ solely for personal pleasure. Engaging in such behaviour leads to increased self-centredness. C.S. Lewis articulated this well, noting that we often do not recognise that a person's sexual organ is owned by someone of the opposite sex. This simple truth is undeniable.

Typically, a man believes his sexual organ belongs to him alone, while a woman thinks the same about hers. This misunderstanding contributes to the moral decline we see in the world today. Although Lewis did not explicitly connect these dots, he highlighted how such attitudes foster selfishness and self-centredness. The same principle applies to the consumption of pornography, which further exacerbates these issues.