Nadeem

I grew up in a pretty complicated environment. My parents were from Bangladesh—a little country next to India. Their marriage was arranged; my mom was about 15 years old and my dad was about 32, so there was quite a big age gap. Eventually they came to the United States, but their relationship didn't work. Because my mom came to America, it allowed her to separate from my dad.

My mom had to rebuild her life while raising me. She worked full time, went to school, eventually got a degree in electrical engineering, and worked as a NASA contractor—building shuttles and all that. I'm really, really proud of her. But because of that, I spent a lot of time growing up alone. I learned how to take care of myself really early, and I learned how to be independent. But I also carried a lot of insecurities that carried me through adulthood, and honestly, I didn't really feel like I belonged anywhere.

Then through a friend, I was introduced to this community. I didn't understand Divine Principle at that time, or our texts and scriptures or anything like that. But what I saw was the families—not perfect families, but families that stayed together, that showed up for each other, that lived life together. And that's something that stayed with me. Looking back now, I can see that before I understood God with my mind, I experienced God with my heart through people. And I felt less alone.

Later on, through a lot of transitions, I made the decision to leave home at 18—I just knew I had to take that step. Through college I stayed connected, kept learning, kept growing, just different things about the church community and the Principle. I went to New York, did a lot of CARP workshops and all that. Then eventually I went through the matching and the Blessing with my wife—our ceremony to get married. Some of you last time saw the video of me and Romina on ABC Nightline News, giving our first hug together.

My mom—I didn't mention this before—was so anti-arranged marriage because of her own experience. She raised me saying, "Don't ever get an arranged marriage, it's the worst thing ever." And so, lo and behold, that's what I did. I'm thankful, because I could not have found a wife like Romina. Last time I also shared a little bit about my relationship with my mom—it wasn't easy. There were lots of misunderstandings, a lot of distance. But through time, through marriage, and honestly through growth that I didn't expect, we were able to rebuild that relationship.

At the end of my mom's life, we were there with her, and she passed away in October 2023. We finally had the relationship we both wanted—it wasn't perfect, but it was real and full of love. And that's where I left off last time. Everybody talks about smelling the roses, but when you know something's not going to last forever, you should treat it as precious. Romina and I were married at 21 and 22—really, really young—and after the Blessing ceremony, Romina went to STF Europe doing missionary work while I stayed here in the United States doing my master's in business and electrical engineering.

So even when we were married, we were just living two different lives—she was out there conquering the world, and I was here getting a degree or whatever. We had a great relationship virtually—a lot of KakaoTalk messages, a lot of texting, "How are you?" and all that. But finally, in November 2015, we actually had to move in and live together, and that's where my next testimony starts. Romina moved to Arizona, where I grew up. I didn't even properly introduce her to my parents—she literally came in from the airport, I just took her to my dad's house where I was living, and said, "Oh yeah, this is a girl." That was my only conversation with my dad. He said, "What? Who is this person living with us?" I don't know how Romina stayed with me—even with my parents, I just said, "Oh, this is a girl." It was awkward.

Honestly, I don't even know how Romina stayed with me through that, but somehow we figured it out. Looking back, because we were so young, I didn't really overanalyze the Blessing the way I might today at 34 or 35. I didn't think, "Am I fully ready?" I didn't think, "Am I perfect?" I just knew—well, three things. I was willing to change. I was willing to put God at the center. And I was willing to get help when I needed it, because I knew there were lots of resources, lots of counseling and all that. If I had those three things, I could figure it out at that young age. That turned out to be pretty true.

Divine Principle teaches us that the Blessing is not a reward for perfection, but the beginning of restoration. Sun Myung Moon, our True Father, often said, "Marriage is not for the sake of the individual, but for the sake of God and the world." At that time I didn't fully understand it, but I was stepping into it. People say it's about the journey or the destination, but that's not true—it's about the company. So we started building our lives together in 2016. We built our finances together—we were pretty disciplined. Romina got a great job in the semiconductor industry, and I started working for various different industries to build experience.

We also had a business on the side—it wasn't our main profession, but it was an additional income stream that helped us grow, develop our mindset, and build something together outside of our regular jobs. We lived off one income and saved or invested the other. We had mentorship, and we were encouraged to think big, to dream, to believe we were meant for something greater. Externally, we definitely looked like the model couple. But internally, it wasn't like that—there was a lot of miscommunication, a lot of intimacy struggles, and we didn't know how to truly connect.

Our relationship with our parents was complicated—you heard my story, and Romina also had different situations. My parents were here; Romina's parents were overseas. But I did find it easier to love her parents than she could with her own, and she saw good in my parents that I couldn't see. So there was a lot we learned from each other just by being with each other and really, really trying to figure out our whole relationship. I barely communicated because I had just lived alone, isolated—communication was just at the back burner for me. And we were going to church, but we weren't really engaged.

We were just living life. And it was such a guy mindset — I don't know how many guys can relate. If our finances are good, then our life is set. We don't have to think about anything else. We have money in the bank, that's it. I don't know how many guys think like that, but that was definitely my mindset. But that was totally not true. I was very good at sweeping stuff under the rug. Even now, I'm pretty good at sweeping stuff under the rug.

Even in our business, it was growing. But it was definitely built on a weak foundation. And then Divine Principle teaches us that restoration must happen internally first. True Mother, also one of our founders, Hak Ja Han, said, "A true family begins when husband and wife unite, centered on heaven, and create a culture of hearts." We had scripture, we had discipline, but we didn't have deep unity of hearts.

So in 2019, Romina became pregnant, and it shifted her heart immediately. But I was still focused on money, security, and building our future. Then in February 2020, our baby boy was born. And shortly after, he passed. And honestly, life kept moving after that. We didn't really have time to process everything right away. Because right after that — February 2020, our son passed away — and then March 2020, COVID lockdowns began.

And so everything went into — the whole world stopped. Our business disappeared almost overnight, our finances were shaken, we were completely isolated. And for the first time, we couldn't run anymore. We had to sit with everything. Because for the first time since our marriage, we actually had to slow down. We talked, we listened, we reflected, we joined multiple marriage programs online, we connected with people across the nation through Zoom, we met other couples going through similar things. And for the first time, we truly connected.

Divine Principle has this illusion — that sometimes it's in the stillness, when everything else glides down, that you really see what really, really matters. True Father talks about when you center on true love, everything becomes settled and peaceful. God dwells where there's love and unity. And for us, that season wasn't about figuring everything out. It was coming back to the center, back to our relationship, back to listening, back to what really, really matters.

At the end of 2020, Romina became pregnant again. Then in April 2021, our daughter Ayana — who's the dancer here — was born. Around that same time, there was a strong push nationally for young people to step into leadership. And I was approached to become pastor. It was interesting, because we were just leading Zoom meetings — we were the only ones who knew how to do Zoom in Arizona. And Reverend Thompson joined one of our Zoom meetings and said, "Oh, a young person — he should be the pastor." And that's literally how it happened. It wasn't like some big division or anything like that. It was just, oh, he knows how to run Zoom, so he should be pastor.

So I told Romina — we were driving to one of the church elders' houses. And I was saying, "Oh, Romina, I'm not going to say yes to this. I'm going to say no. Don't worry about it. It's not going to ruin our family dynamics or anything like that." But when I got to the meeting, I just said yes, I'll be pastor. And that definitely — I still don't fully know why. Obviously, Romina was pretty upset. I gave her Chick-fil-A, because she hadn't given birth to Ayana yet. It was March 2021 when I was approached to be pastor, and she had Chick-fil-A cravings all the time. So we talked a lot. Still, I'm working on my communication skills, as you can tell.

I didn't have the background, I didn't have the title, but I had heart. And with our small family, we stepped into pastorship. I definitely lost some friends, I gained deeper relationships, I learned how to really be there for people. And during my time, I conducted about seven Seonghwas. Seonghwas are our funeral ceremony in our church. And being with people in their final moments, really hearing what really, really matters to them — I really learned it was never about money. It was never about status. It was always about love. It was always about relationships, and how they lived for others.

And I came to believe this pretty deeply: your life's success is determined by how many people are better off because you lived. I like this, because when I talked to different people who joined the movement, they're like, "Oh, I wanted to change the world." And the best thing to change the world is just starting with the person right next to you — just saying hi to them. That's what's truly changing. And True Mother emphasized that the family is the school of love, and through living for the sake of others, we resemble Heavenly Parents. And that's what I saw over and over again — when people have transitioned to the spirit world, I saw the people that they impacted for good, whether they're in the movement or outside the movement. It never mattered. It was just that they impacted for something higher. And that's what really, really matters.

Around the birth of our second daughter in August 2023, and right after — a month later — my mom passed away. At the same time, I started a new job, it was a new transition for me, still trying to figure out pastorship. Then in April 2025, we went to Korea, to one of our training grounds, Cheongpyeong. In the last five years or so, it's definitely changed since the 90s and 2000s — it's a totally different experience. That trip really, really opened my eyes, not just spiritually, but practically — what has been built, with the palace, with the training center. There are kids' activities, an aquarium, a zoo — so many things there now. My daughters loved it. They're like, "When can we go back?" If you haven't been there in the last five years, it's a whole different experience.

As I reflected, one thought really stayed with me there. Some people are like candles — they burn themselves out to give light to others. I really thought about all the members before us, what they sacrificed, what they endured. A lot of my older friends who are second generation had to pave the way of uncertainty at that time, trying to figure everything out, so that we could live this life of faith. So that my daughters and this community can grow up and be really united. And that really changed how I saw everything.

After that trip, I knew something was shifting. And then when we came to Colorado Family Camp last summer in 2025, I had this feeling that this might be a place that we're meant to be. I knew the transition of my pastorship was coming to a close. And so I started applying for jobs, and one opened up exactly what I was looking for. In November 2025, I moved here.

And now we have another daughter on the way in summer 2026. We're still looking for names, but it's okay. When I look back, I see a pattern. There were so many moments when I didn't know what to do — in my childhood, in my marriage, in loss, in leadership, in transition, even now. But I knew I was never truly alone. There were always people. There was always guidance. There was always Heavenly Parents working quietly in the background. And Divine Principle teaches us that God's providence unfolds through time, through relationships, and through sincerity. And even when we don't see it, it's there. So if you're in a place right now where you don't know what to do, you might not be alone either.