🇬🇧Bernard Chellew

Since Maso's passing, I've been thinking more about my life, and about how to go forward. It was 36 days from her cancer diagnosis to her Seonghwa — and it's just under four days from then to now. This is the first time I've been able to share anything. We were asked to put questions down. It has always been difficult for me to testify to my faith, especially to my family, friends, and relatives, because of the big black cloud over us.

Since Maso's passing, I realize how grateful we have to be for our life, and especially for our couples. Without Maso, I wouldn't be here — that's for sure. I see friends my age who've had two or three marriages and aren't happy; you can see it. They often ask me what I'm doing, because they sense something. If Maso were here now, she'd say we were able to save each other. I'm really grateful to True Father for that — without him, I wouldn't be here. Isn't it amazing that we met four days before our Blessing, and 42 years later, we're still together?

In some ways, I'm closer to her now, because we have devotional time throughout the day where she is with me. She's even on my phone, so I feel really close to her. She is such a wonderful person. Despite the warts — and we've all got warts — we're able to overcome them, and work together to become more beautiful people.

We used to have a saying in the late 80s, when Heung Jin Nim returned to the Earth spiritually. Do you remember what he called us? Chosen ones, and second selves. I really felt that we were chosen for each other. Maso is like my second self.

True Father used to say that we meet True Father as our Messiah these days, 2,000 years after Jesus; our second Messiah is our husband or wife, and our third Messiah is our children. What does that mean? It means they help us — they remind us of God's unforgiving love and his grace — and through that, we're able to carry on. I've had some lovely experiences these last 40 days, so I know Maso is with me all the time.

I want to read this. It's from the First Letter of Peter, chapter three, subtitled "Wives and Husbands." "In the same way, you wives must submit to your husbands, so that if any of them do not believe God's word, your conduct will win them over to believe it. It will not be necessary for you to say a word, because they will see how pure and reverent your conduct is. You should not use outward aids to make yourselves beautiful, such as the way you do your hair, or the jewelry you put on, or the dresses you wear. Instead, your beauty should consist of your true self — the ageless beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of the greatest value in God's sight. For the devout women of the past, who placed their hope in God, used to make themselves beautiful by submitting to their husbands. Sarah was like that. She obeyed Abraham, and called him her master. You are now her daughters, if you do good, and are not afraid of anything."

"In the same way, you husbands must live with your wives, with the proper understanding that they are weaker than you. Treat them with respect, because they also will receive, together with you, God's gift of life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers." Those words really went deep into my heart, because that's how Blessed Couples should be — different from other couples.

One day I was reading one of my favorite songs, number 23, which we never sing — "Suffering Heart." The last lines of some verses are so apt. Verse three: "How then could I ever begin thanking the Lord for such grace?" Verse five: "Finally today I am reborn, filled with abundant new life." Verse six: "Find how lovely you become to see, through all your suffering and pain."

So don't worry about me. I thank you for your prayers and support. It's really beautiful to see all the testimonies, but I am okay. These are tears of joy.