The Measure of a Man - The 30th anniversary of CARP's march to the Berlin Wall

I want to explain something that I learned from Hyo Jin nim in my own life experience with him. It was less than ten years, but for me he was kind of a lifetime mentor. His personality is very different from mine. He was hypersensitive and his personality was such that he could express things from one perspective and from a widely different perspective.

When he was angry, it was as if a razor was coming out of his eyes. I could not even look at his face [she laughs]. I just try to hide somewhere. He could express his full anger but somehow he had the right standard all the time. All the time, he simply taught me how to live and how to die as a human being.

One day he asked me a question: How would you define what a life of faith is? I could not answer because I’d never deeply thought about it. He said, For me, faith is something I can continue with for my whole life, maybe more than a lifetime, for eternity.

For him, faith was to live for the sake of others. We hear those terms, “true love” “live for the sake of others,” all the time, so when I heard his definition and his own faith, I thought hmmm…, OK. It was not then such a shock or an inspiration but I now understand how important and essential it is. For him, to live for the sake of others was to help others grow and help so that others could be even better than he was, but there was a direction in which to go. That person was to be better than him from God’s point of view.

We often think we are living for others but it can go wrong; we can spoil them if we don’t have the mindset to take responsibility for what we are telling the person to do. Actually, according to True Father’s definition of love, love definitely contains responsibility. Love is being responsible for the other. In that way, what we are trying to do for others should have a correct result, better than before, better than yesterday. That person should be more mature. Otherwise, to live for the sake of others is only for my own satisfaction, my own arrogance.

That’s what I learned in detail from Hyo Jin nim. I felt in my own experience recently about that point, maybe a few years ago. Before that I thought, I couldn’t see how deep the concept “Live for the sake of others,” was. Now True Parents are always talking about love, true love, living for the sake of other. It’s our motto, but somehow it is so deep. Now I can see more. It’s God’s heart when he created human beings: I hope you can be even better than I; that is, better than God — that mind-set. For that result, I will support you fully. I will give anything I have. If I can’t give you more I will make something new and give it to you. This is what I learned from Hyo jin nim about living for the sake of others.

In practical terms

He was saying, If my younger siblings, or those in the next generation can take everything from me and make it better, do better, I will be very happy. Because I love them they are my brothers and sisters. Why should I feel bad? That is love. I think that is more than an elder brother’s attitude. It is more like a parent’s love for children. With that mind-set, he tried to live his whole life and he worked hard to compose ten thousand songs. The second point, perhaps many of you have heard, that is, dying well.

Living well is a big concern in the world, but Hyo Jin nim was always considering the spiritual world. A lifetime is short; everyone is destined to die. It’s the principle. According to what True Parents have said, it is a new beginning, being born into the spiritual world. We do not have to be afraid of death. At that moment, we should feel afraid of what we did in our lifetime for others and for Heavenly Parent and for our True Parents.

He repeatedly spoke about reaching perfection. Your own hardship is not that important, relatively. The most important thing is what you can bring to the spiritual world. He tried hard to do something for others, for the next generation. He wanted to leave some useful assets for younger brothers and sisters. His life was short, relatively. He wanted to be better today than yesterday. He wanted to make more effort to do one more thing than yesterday.

Ten thousand songs

I remember when he finished ten thousand songs. Originally, he thought it would take about twenty years if every day he composed about twenty songs, continuously, but he finished in less than four years. Think about that, how hard he worked. One day he couldn’t move his fingers because he’d played guitar the whole day without eating, without sleeping, on purpose, with a goal: I will finish a hundred songs today. It was not enjoyment.

The last half a year or several months, I never saw him sleep throughout the night. He just slept for two hours or one and a half, maybe three hours. He would just wake up and go to the studio. When he felt tired, he would come home, take a shower and go out again. He worked the whole day, an extreme workaholic.

His bed was always empty. I saw that he went to bed at midnight but at 1:00 AM his bed was empty. He kept that lifestyle. How could he do that? I think he had desperation and a level of goal to achieve. He only focused on that goal and kept pushing himself harder and harder and harder. How could he do that? It was because of love. He loves True Parents. He loves Heavenly Parent. He wanted to do something for them. He said that his parents are also doing his work. Of course, I also have to take responsibility for what my parents are doing, he said.

His faith in True Parents

Maybe this was because he was a physical child of True Parents, but it was more than that. True Parents are the Messiah. True parents are special. One day, I had a question: How can you be sure that True Parents are the Messiah and have fulfilled their mission? He told me, “Look at the blessing. That says everything.”

In that way, for him, True Parents were more than just his physical parents. He knew the Principle deeply and he tried to practice it for his whole life. So, the results: I’m not sure if it was successful or not, but he worked hard and showed an exemplary attitude to do something for True Parents. I’m sure about that.

I would like to introduce you to Hyo Jin nim’s main attitude: Know your limits. You should know what you can do well and what you cannot. Be honest about it. Even in your professional area, if someone is better than you are, you have to give that person the leadership, the full responsibility. Even if you haven’t made any mistakes and I am good at it, if the person is better than you are, put that person in charge because it is good for the whole organization. Don’t just seek to be the central figure. You have to live like a slave of slaves. That is why True Parents are the most miserable people, like some animal in a golden cage.

Hyo Jin nim understood that we have to live our lives as the best example, beyond our imaginations. As a leader, he had a watch-me-and-let’s-do-it-together attitude. He was always warning me about my own arrogance. Everyone has that aspect of arrogance. In a good way, it is confidence. He’d say, if you are arrogant don’t just know that about yourself but know that others know that. By his definition, humility is only knowing your true value.

He understood our own fallen nature and tried hard to overcome it. Many of you know, but this is for those in the younger generation who have no experience with him and they hear just certain kinds of stories. In the future, everything may be beautifully decorated, but I want to say about him that he was not perfect at all. He had goodness and he had weakness. He made mistakes but somehow he wanted to be responsible for what he had done. I know my own part and I will be responsible for that result. I will not blame anybody. I will take that and I will accept that judgment in front of Heavenly Parent.

That’s what he often said. To anybody who asks, Who is Hyo Jin nim? He was that kind of person. I learned a lot from his attitude. I could develop myself more, practically, because of his education and guidelines, training for me, and True Parents’ love, which I experienced and witnessed with my own eyes.