The Order in a Family

Sun Myung Moon March 1998 Raising Children in God’s Will, Chapter One: Section 2(8)

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If all members of a family would have their own opinions and desires, there would be six selfish ways. Each member of the family would want the others to follow his or her ways. Thus, they all insist on their own way. There would be a fight breaking out every day. As they fight more and more, are they supposed to go up or go down? They are supposed to go down. If they fight two times, the steps of their position will be two more steps down than before; if they fight three times, they will drop three more steps. When they repeat it, the relationship would be destroyed. Is that a fact?

Or is the following true? You may think, “No, we can go up while fighting; yes, that’s the principal.” [No, it’s wrong] The truth is that a fight makes you step down from your position. Is it true? [Yes it’s true] Democracy originates from this way of thinking: “Let’s go our own way.” We cannot help doing so in order to develop and protect the whole.

Well, those who may think I am wrong, raise your hands. Let me ask you something. What conclusion can we draw from this? It is just to choose and go on our own way where we can help each other through. You are obliged to do so even if you don’t like to do. When a certain way is beneficial to others, would it be the way to make you go up? [Yes]

We come to the conclusion that we absolutely need a common goal, centering on the way that is able to

make you go up. Then, which way is the one that makes you go up? The way that make a family, nation and the world go up is the one that can be beneficial to the society, the world and the ideal of the world, respectively. People are inclined to deny the fact, but it is true.

There are two types of law. The one may be the law to prevent a fight and the other is the law to lead people to live for each other’s sake. Then, what should we do in order to prevent people from fighting? If they are in the relationship between brothers, the younger should obey the older one. The one who is born first becomes the subject in the order of the universe. The senior one is connected to God. In addition, God is the most senior being who exists before everything does. So God must have established such a law.

If you are situated between parents and brothers, naturally you have to obey your parents, because your parents are born before your brothers were. That’s the law. Such a law of order should be applied to each case. Do you understand what I mean?

You may say that you are just born so that nobody can interfere in your life. But you have to recognize that you have uncles or relatives. It means that you are born within the range of the clan. It is wrong to think, “Let’s do as we please.” On the contrary, you ought to live up to the law of order by which you can be in step with others.

You may say, “Do we need any law?” Yes, absolutely, you need the law. Only insisting on yourself to the end may lead to fighting. Then, only the strongest man could survive and the rest of them may die off.

That is the law which tells man to live for woman’s sake, woman for man’s sake, parents to live for children’s sake, children to live for parents’ sake, and brothers and sisters to live for each other’s sake.

Do you understand what I am saying? It is possible to live up to the law, if you would do so through and by true love. You have to make sacrifices with true love for the sake of others. All laws are bound to yield under true love after all. Wherever you may go, if you go there with your hands raised like this, you will not be caught in the web of the law. You can pass through it. Understand? [Yes] That’s why I always say to you that you have to live up to true love, making sacrifices and serving others. That’s simple.

Imagine that the position of the older brother and the younger one might be overturned. It must not be so. The overturned position will be automatically put in order, even if it had been so. The older brother may call his younger one “elder brother,” but it doesn’t mean that their positions are disordered. Parents want to do more and give more in favor of their children. But can their behavior overturn their positions? Can the children be rude to their parents? Well, on the contrary, they must make up their mind to do more for their parents’ sake. It’s the function of their original mind that leads people to keeping order. Do you understand what this means? (117-216)