God has always been weeping

Sun Myung Moon May 1, 1977 God’s Will and the World: God’s Preparation for Our Church, and Its Early Days Tarrytown, New York

You must have a true picture of yourself. Some members look very substantial externally and seem to be doing a great job, but inside they are empty people, who are not worthy in the sight of God. In this period you will be given the opportunity to experience everything, being cursed, or struck, feeling great hunger, and even envying a beggar’s situation. It will be a precious period, and then you will be able to say, “I know the heart of God, I know Jesus Christ, and I know Reverend Moon.” My hands are not so big but they have gone through much. The Unification Church was built upon my foundation of pioneering this hidden spiritual task. This foundation is not the product of easy living, but of the most incredible suffering and spiritual endurance.

When fund raising, have you ever been kicked, hit, or spit upon by others? When you taste these experiences then you must think, “This is the path that was walked by all the saints and men of God in history’ Being spit at or hit is not that painful to bear, but being spit at or hit by someone who was previously a member and who has now betrayed God is very painful. It is heartbreaking and you have to taste even that. You will finally know Jesus when you experience these things. Jesus had not only external enemies — the people who physically nailed him down on the cross — but he had internal enemies who betrayed him.

I have tasted prison life, not only under the communist regime but also in free Korea. I can never forget one former member who came up to me when I was being taken to the West Gate prison in Seoul. He

looked at me and laughed scornfully, “You fool! Are you still doing this stupid thing?” I can never forget that man. At that moment I did not say anything to him, but in my heart I prayed, “God, give me a chance to testify to how righteous You are, and how I was obedient to You.” This is just one instance of personal betrayal; there are too many to count. When I close my eyes and start to pray, tears always come forth. I have experienced so much agony and pain and heartbreak that I know God, and I am in a position to comfort Him.

No one understands me. My parents never understood, even my wife and children can never really understand. My understanding of God is a lonely understanding. You also can be a companion to that lonely God. I always feel how vulnerable and weak I am, but I know that God trusts and is depending on me to fulfill. When I see God’s expectation I just have no way to sit still. I feel, “God, You are Almighty. You can do anything You want, but because of Your own precious children’s failure You put Yourself in a position of such suffering. You don’t need to suffer, but You have been helpless, waiting so long for some man You could depend on. God, I really sympathize with You. I understand You.”

If anyone truly knew me internally then he just could not help but be crushed by sorrow. Spiritually enlightened people who can receive revelations and instructions in their prayers are the people who stay. When they pray about me God’s response is always the same; He responds to their prayer in tears because when God thinks about His lonely champion here on earth, God just weeps. The vast entanglement of human history seems utterly impossible to ever reorganize, and even God hardly knew where to begin the dispensation. But one lonely man found the secret and lived through everything to bring the movement this far. Even for God that was something to behold.