National Parents' Day 2016 special from The Washington Times

2016 National Parents’ Day Also inside: Global Day of Parents honored at the United Nations

FAMILY FEDERATION FOR WORLD PEACE & UNIFICATION • UNIVERSAL PEACE FEDERATION-USA AMERICAN CLERGY LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE • WOMEN’S FEDERATION FOR WORLD PEACE - USA • WASHINGTON TIMES FOUNDATION A Special Report Prepared by The Washington Times Advocacy Department and National Parents’ Day Coalition

Parents’ Day Proclamation 2007 promising future for their children. helping children do well in school. My States and consistent with Public Law The guidance and unconditional Administration is committed to helping 103-362, as amended, do hereby proclaim love of parents help create a nurturing parents and schools ensure that every Sunday, July 22, 2007, as Parents’ Day. I environment so children can grow and child has the best opportunity to learn call upon citizens, private organizations, reach their full potential. Parents work and succeed. and governmental bodies at all levels to to impart to their children the strength On Parents’ Day, we pay tribute to engage in activities and educational ef- and determination to follow their dreams mothers and fathers and celebrate the forts that recognize, support, and honor and the courage to do what is right. They special bonds of love between parents parents, and I encourage American sons shape the character of their children by and their children. We also express our and daughters to convey their love, re- sharing their wisdom and setting a posi- deep gratitude to parents who serve in spect, and appreciation to their parents. tive example. As role models, parents also the Armed Forces and those whose sons In Witness Whereof, I have hereunto instill the values and principles that help and daughters have answered the call to set my hand this twelfth day of July, in prepare children to be responsible adults defend our country. Our Nation is grate- the year of our Lord two thousand seven, and good citizens. ful for their honorable service and for the and of the Independence of the United OFFICal Government Photo My Administration is committed to sacrifices family members make as their States of America the two hundred and strengthening American families by sup- loved ones work to advance the cause of thirty-second. By President George W. Bush porting Federal, State, and faith-based freedom. GEORGE W. BUSH On Parents’ Day, America honors our and community programs that promote Now, Therefore, I, George W. Bush, Source: The American Presidency Project mothers and fathers for their extraordi- healthy marriages and responsible par- President of the United States of America, nary devotion and for the great sacrifices enting. Parents are a child’s first teachers, by virtue of the authority vested in me by they make to provide a hopeful and and we recognize their critical role in the Constitution and laws of the United

Parents’ Day Proclamation 1995 and most rewarding responsibilities in life. of honesty and caring in a way that no in accordance with Public Law 103-362, do Balancing countless demands, parents must school or government can, America’s par- hereby proclaim Sunday, July 23, 1995, as be firm yet loving, protective yet liberat- ents pass on the spirit, values, and traditions “Parents’ Day.” I invite the States, communi- ing. They are the nurturers of our dreams that have made our Nation strong for more ties, and the people of the United States to PREPARED BY The Washington Times Advocacy Department

and the soothers of our fears. They instill than two centuries. Whether stepparents observe this day with appropriate ceremo- in their children, by word and example, or foster parents, biological or adoptive, nies and activities expressing gratitude and the importance of family and community parents provide the security, stability, and abiding affection for parents. involvement, the value of education and love that enable children to grow up healthy, In Witness Whereof, I have hereunto hard work. happy, and strong. set my hand this twenty-first day of July, in Parenting is a serious responsibility. All Parents’ Day is a welcome opportunity the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and parents have an obligation to provide for the to celebrate the special and powerful bond ninety-five, and of the Independence of the children they bring into the world. Parents between parent and child. On this occasion, United States of America the two hundred must teach and sustain, helping to empower let us remember and pay respect to those and twentieth. each new generation to meet the challenges who give us the daily support and loving WILLIAM J. CLINTON OFFICal Government Photo and opportunities of life with confidence. guidance that lead us to become responsible Source: The American Presidency Project Today, across our country, parents give and contributing citizens. By President William J. Clinton their time and energy to ensure a better fu- Now, Therefore, I, William J. Clinton, Parenthood is among the most difficult ture for their children. Teaching the lessons President of the United States of America,

Parents’ Day joint resolution in Congress REPORTTIMES

Bipartisan legislation to establish Par- Public Law No: 103-362 — on Oct. 14, 1994. the fourth Sunday of every July shall be are encouraged to recognize Parents’ WASHINGTON

ents’ Day was filed in the House in August Text of House Joint Resolution 398 in established as “Parents’ Day’’ to be rec- Day through proclamations, activities, 1994 by Rep. Dan Burton, Indiana Repub- the 103rd Congress of the United States ognized as a recurring, perennial day of and educational efforts in furtherance lican, and Rep. Floyd H. Flake, New York of America: commemoration. of recognizing, uplifting, and supporting A SPECIAL

Democrat, and 16 other original cosponsors. To establish the fourth Sunday of July the role of parents in the rearing of their The measure, which eventually had 223 as “Parents’ Day.’’ SEC. 2. RECOGNITION. children. Thursday • July 21 • 2016 | THE

cosponsors, passed the House on Sept. 30 Resolved by the Senate and House of All private citizens, organizations, and passed the Senate on Oct. 4. President Representatives of the United States of and governmental and legislative bod- Bill Clinton signed the measure — now America in Congress assembled, That ies at the local, State, and Federal level

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‘Thank God for good parents’ By Hon. Dan Burton My brother, sister and I were sent to I am thankful every day for a great a guardian’s home. It was tough. Really mom, grandmother and stepfather. Why do I think parents are so tough. Without them, I really don’t know how important? But Mom escaped, my father went to I would have ended up. Thank God for Because when I was a child, I had an prison, and we then started a normal life. good parents. abusive father. He beat me regularly and My mother remarried and my beat my mother so badly that at times I stepfather was a great guy. My mother, Dan Burton, a Republican, is a for- thought he killed her. grandmother and my new father really mer U.S. representative for Indiana. After many years of heartache, we saved my brother, sister and I. He was a lead sponsor of legisla- were able to get away from him, but he So I know how important good tion creating the federal Parents’ Day came after us and kidnapped my mother parents are. I’ve seen the worst and I’ve commemorative holiday in 1994. and threatened to kill her. seen the best.

A day to honor ‘thy father and thy mother’ By The Washington Times Advertorial Department job in the world,” President George W. projects for needy youths or to uphold The holiday has often prompted peo- Bush wrote in his 2001 proclamation. the traditional family. ple, from sponsors to couples, to testify “As we hold a newborn in our arms or For instance, John and Cheryl Carn- to their own parents or offer advice “Families are the foundation” of human embrace an older adopted child, the wath raised four children and also started about how to keep their family relations society, and parents become “the first promise we make in our hearts to love, an annual fair to connect parents with in good health. image of love to our children, and the protect and nurture our children stays services and a camp for families. Nebras- “I come from parents who gave birth first image of God to our children,” Rev. with us and their them forever. We are kans Rev. Don Coleman and his wife, Rev. to 13 children; my parents had fifth- and Keith A. Savage said in 2015, when he and eternally linked to the children whom we Ann Coleman, raised five children and sixth-grade education,” Mr. Flake said at wife Bonita were honored as National are blessed to parent and to the genera- led organizations in Lincoln to mentor a 1994 event on behalf of the Parents’ Day Parents of the Year. tions before us who helped shape our youth and their parents and stand against bills. “I can’t help by rejoice in having

A SPECIAL REPORT PREPARED BY The Washington Times Advocacy Department For 22 years, Americans parents who understood have had an annual federal that in spite of never hav- holiday to honor their fa- ing a psychology course thers and mothers — Par- … they nurtured us. They ents’ Day is officially the admonished us to take the fourth Sunday of July. word ‘can’t out of our vo- Parents’ Day was en- cabulary,” Mr. Flake said, acted with bipartisan lead- according to a Washington ership and strong support Times news account of the in Congress — notably event. former Rep. Dan Burton, Two of the best pieces Indiana Republican; Rep. of advice for parents are Floyd H. Flake, New York to “eat together” and “talk Democrat and now senior with each other,” even if pastor of a Queens, N.Y., sometimes people end up megachurch; and former talking “at each other,” D.C. Delegate Walter said Rev. Savage, pastor Fauntroy. of First Baptist Church of In the upper chamber, Manassas. Sen. Orrin Hatch, Utah Re- Parents’ Day sponsor-

THE WASHINGTON TIMES | Thursday • July 21 • 2016 publican; then-Sen. Trent ing organizations today Lott, Mississippi Republi- include National Parents’ can; and then-Sen. Joseph Day Coalition, the Uni- R. Biden, Delaware Demo- versal Peace Federation- crat, helped shepherd the USA, American Clergy bill, which was signed into Leadership Coalition, The law on Oct. 14, 1994, by Washington Times Foun- President Bill Clinton. dation, Women’s Federa- “Parents play a crucial tion for World Peace-USA role in shaping our lives and Family Federation for and the life of our nation,” Mr. Clinton lives,” Mr. Bush said. street violence. Both couples were so World Peace. Judges for National Parents said in 2000 in one of his proclamations Over the years, hundreds of parents exemplary they were both named Parents of the Year have included officials from in honor of Parents’ Day. have been selected as state Parents of of the Year 2000. the National Organization for Marriage, “We owe our parents — whether bio- the Year, with some of them becoming The 2004 National Parents of the Year Southern Christian Leadership Confer- logical or adoptive, stepparents or foster National Parents of the Year. were Joshua and L’Tanya Haire, who ad- ence of Georgia, Imani Temple African- parents — a profound debt of gratitude” Many honorees had raised both bio- opted a child and raised seven, but lost American Catholic Congregation and for their sacrificial efforts, unconditional logical and adoptive and foster chil- two other children in infancy. The couple Christian Voice. love and constant devotion, Mr. Clinton dren, rebounded from unusual hard- went on to establish a literacy project in said. ships, worked for racial justice or helped partnership with their North Carolina “Being a parent is the most important those with disabilities. Many organized church and county public school system. 3

Exemplary parents in America 12 couples are finalists for National Parents of the Year Pastor Mark and Apostle Ralph L. Edwards and Edna Abernathy Prophetess Irene Edwards Mark Abernathy is the senior pastor at Apostle Ralph L. Edwards and Proph- Connect Point Christian Center in Snell- etess Irene Edwards have been doing ville, Georgia. His wife, Edna, leads the joint ministry for about 40 years, spend- music ministry. They have been married ing much of their time and resources for 38 years and have one daughter and serving those in blighted communities, one grandson. as well as in prisons, nursing homes The couple founded a ministry for and hospitals. During almost 42 years young people and one for couples in of marriage, they raised three children their church. Their example of a loving, while dealing with financial, physi- committed marriage provides a healthy cal and emotional challenges. To date, example for single and married members they have 15 grandchildren and five of their congregation. They practice fidel- great-grandchildren. ity within their marriage and teach that The couple lives in Harlem, New to their members. They also encourage York City, and their church is in Jamaica, sexual purity before marriage. Queens, but their ministry takes them Their congregation is multiracial to wherever they are needed to spread and encourages respect and love for all people. The church, founded by Mark’s father, God’s love, which may be organizing a food program or caring for families that have received considerable persecution for this policy, and the church was even firebombed lost a loved one to violence. They have a heart that wants to serve all kinds of people in the 1970s. In their personal lives, their daughter’s first marriage did not work out and in all kinds of situations. she recently married a man from another ethnicity. The Edwards’ deep bond provides a model of fidelity that helps people under- A graduate of Lighthouse Christian College, Mark served as head of the New Life stand that the family is the basis of true success. Since 2001 they have been leading a Christian School in Stone Mountain, Georgia, for 10 years and during that time coached seminar entitled, “Marriage Enlightenment: Public Success and Private Failure,” that football, basketball and baseball, and led teams to national championships. He served has helped change the thinking of many participants about what constitutes a suc- as associate pastor of Connect Point Christian Center before becoming senior pastor cessful marriage. PREPARED BY The Washington Times Advocacy Department

in 2004. In 2006, he received the prestigious NAACP award in religious affairs. He con- In 2004, they became certified as chaplains, and Apostle Edwards later served as sults regularly with executives from various businesses, schools and churches to help New York State director of the United Chaplain International Worldwide Outreach. create spiritual-based solutions to global problems. Mark is a member of the Southern They also began a church, One Way International Ministry Inc., nine years ago. Christian Leadership Conference and the NAACP, and is also national co-president of the American Clergy Leadership Conference.

Kenneth and Kim Fox-Muhammad Lowell and America Callahan Kenneth and Kim Fox-Muhammad, married for 30 years, returned to Ken- Lowell and America Callahan of neth’s home town of East Spencer, North Wheatland, California, have been Carolina, to help the struggling commu- married for 37 years and during that nity reverse its chronic poverty and high time they have fostered special-needs unemployment rate. While raising three children, (adopting four of them) children, they launched numerous pro- and raised seven biological children. grams to assist youth and adults, includ- America is currently homeschooling ing a drill team, the Respect for Life Com- two teenagers and helps a young adult munity Center and the Empowerment look for a suitable job. Network, a community development REPORTTIMES

The Callahans are advocates for corporation that built a center to assist parents of children with special needs; small businesses and entrepreneurs. WASHINGTON

they assist Spanish-speaking families Kenneth and Kim own Muhammad’s access community resources and pro- Business Solutions, offering their busi- vide translation when necessary. They ness expertise to minority communities. Recently, Kenneth hosted a workshop that A SPECIAL

are devout members of The Church of recruited more than 45 businesses and individuals to help his town. Since the com- Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and munity lacks a school, library or indoor recreational facility, he is founding a charter Thursday • July 21 • 2016 | THE

live their faith by caring for people less fortunate than themselves. Lowell, who school in his mother’s honor as well as a community center. works as a general contractor and air-conditioning mechanic, always gives a gen- The family places a high value on serving the community, leading by example and erous discount to senior citizens. He grows fruit and vegetables on their property obtaining an education. Kenneth is working on a dissertation at Walden University and gives half of it away. in its Public Policy and Administration program. Kim is graduating in July from the Since 2011, America has been owner-operator of a small business in downtown University of Phoenix, as is their eldest daughter. Their younger daughter is attend- Wheatland called America’s Emporium and Thrift. The store serves as a gather- ing Strayer University. At times, the couple worked multiple jobs to support their ing place for local senior citizens, and if any seniors need a ride to a doctor’s family — Kenneth worked in Abu Dhabi for almost 18 months; Kim is manager of a appointment, America will find a way to take them there, even if it means closing Family Dollar Store. the store for an hour or two. She passionately believes in the value of sacrificing Devout Muslims, they are active in their mosque, with Kenneth training the men oneself for the sake of others and has lived her life accordingly. to be responsible in caring for their families and Kim showing women how to do Both have served as Sunday school teachers and are members of the Wheat- more with less. Kenneth has also served as mayor of East Spencer and on numerous land Lions Club. boards, including the Rowan County Housing Authority. 4

Exemplary parents in America 12 couples are finalists for National Parents of the Year Hawaii State Sen. Mike Pastor Bill and Faye and Carol Gabbard McDonnell Mike and Carol Gabbard, married for Bill and Faye McDonnell of North 47 years, are both public servants and Las Vegas, Nevada, have been married educators. Mike gained state and national 44 years, raised three children and have recognition for leading the fight against 11 grandchildren. They have demon- the legalization of same-sex marriage in strated their commitment to their faith Hawaii, a battle lost in 2014. He has been by continually opening their home to a state senator since 2006 and has helped families in need and individuals who pass numerous bills related to health, are going through hard times. In their public safety, renewable energy and envi- own family, the obstacles they have ronmental issues. overcome include the loss of a child. The couple raised three sons and two daughters, homeschooling all of them. He is The McDonnells have organized an Roman Catholic and Carol is Hindu, but both religious traditions are honored in their effort to help people with employment, home. Despite persecution for standing for traditional marriage, Mike received a lot of and led marches to underscore the support from conservative churches and organizations for his efforts to educate people need for more jobs in the community. about the significance of marriage between a man and a woman. They operate a behavioral-health coun- Before becoming a state senator, Mike served on the Honolulu City Council (2003- seling service named Breakthrough 05), where he focused on environmental issues. He has served as the chairman of the and coordinate an outreach to feed and clothe the homeless. Hawaii Senate’s Energy and Environment Committee since 2009, the same year he was Bill is known for his compassion and sensitivity to the needs of others, and for chosen by the Sierra Club as “Legislator Who Made a Difference.” He is a member of always being willing to lend a hand. Faye demonstrates her compassion by feed- the Hawaii Invasive Species Council, the Hawaii Energy Policy Forum and the Hawaii ing shut-ins and bringing water to the homeless. Interagency Climate Adaptation Committee, the latter of which seeks to find solutions Bill has risen through the ranks from deacon to pastor and is superintendent to the effects of global warming on Hawaii. of Church of God in Christ in Nevada’s 1st Jurisdiction. He serves as administra- Carol was on the state board of the Department of Education from 2000 to 2004. tive assistant to the bishop in that jurisdiction. He is president of Churches of While their daughter, Tulsi, served in U.S. Congress as the representative of Hawaii’s Southern Nevada, an organization of pastors from all denominations designed

A SPECIAL REPORT PREPARED BY The Washington Times Advocacy Department 2nd Congressional District, Mike and his daughter co-founded the Healthy Hawaii Co- to address community affairs. Faye, a former administrator in the Clark County alition, a nonprofit dedicated to protecting the environment and improving individual School District, works alongside her husband and is state supervisor for women and community health. in Church of God in Christ in their jurisdiction.

Daniel and Lakeisha Meadows Ivey Bishop Alfred A. and Daniel Ivey and his wife, Lakei- Dr. Susie C. Owens sha Meadows Ivey, of Durham, North Carolina, have been married 16 years and Bishop Alfred A. Owens and Dr. have four children, three of whom are Susie C. Owens of Washington, D.C., adopted. have been married 44 years and have Lakeisha cares for the children, one two children and six grandchildren. In of whom is wheelchair-bound, two have 1966, Bishop Owens founded Christ Is feeding tubes, two have ADHD and all the Answer Chapel; it merged 10 years three have learning development issues. later with Mount Calvary Holy Church

THE WASHINGTON TIMES | Thursday • July 21 • 2016 Daniel works two jobs to support the to form what is now known as Greater family. Over 13 years, this couple has Mount Calvary Holy Church, which has been foster parents to 15 children. a membership of nearly 8,000 people. Lakeisha is the daughter of Bishop In addition to raising their own son Jerry and Shirley Meadows, previous and daughter, the Owens cared for and Parents of the Year. Daniel serves as a nurtured 53 foster sons and daughters, church deacon and his wife is a youth some of whom became associate pastors leader. at his church. The church operates a food and clothing bank, and an alcohol/drug abuse program, known as Calvary’s Alterna- tive to Alcohol and Drug Abuse. In addition, it runs Calvary Christian Academy, which educates children from infancy to the eighth grade; an HIV/AIDS ministry; an employment service; a prison ministry; and several other outreach and social service ministries. It further operates an outreach facility called the Bishop Alfred A. Owens Jr. Family Life Community Center. In 1988, Bishop Owens was consecrated a bishop in the Mount Calvary Holy Church of America Inc., and appointed as senior bishop in 2008. He has served as dean of the Joint College of African-American Pentecostal Bishops since 2000 and as archbishop of the Joint College since 2009. 5

Exemplary parents in America 12 couples are finalists for National Parents of the Year Andrew and Rebecca Powell Dr. John and Leah Schaut Andrew and Rebecca Powell of Dr. John Schaut of Kenosha, Wisconsin, Charleston, West Virginia, have been and his wife, Leah, have been married for married 20 years and have seven chil- 24 years and have four children, including dren, ranging in age from 2 to 17. The an adopted daughter from China. family has pulled together despite hard When their eldest son was age 3, times due to Andrew’s life-threatening he went from being a normal talkative illness of a decade ago. The family now child to having speech difficulties that lives with Rebecca’s parents. were eventually diagnosed as being due The Powells lead by living the to autism. The family bought a van and principles they teach and providing an toured the nation seeking options for deal- example of being kind, generous, loving, forgiving, patient and resourceful. Andrew ing with an autistic child: They attended took the boys to help shovel mud in the aftermath of a flood in Clendenin, West conferences, read about new research, and Virginia. They also helped build a small home for a man in need. listened to a variety of speakers, both par- Andrew is involved in Boy Scouts and his church. Rebecca was president of her ents and professionals. The family bonded church relief society for many years, giving countless hours to helping and coordi- together as they sought effective treatments, and they remained faithful to God and nating spiritual, emotional and financial help to many in the congregation. active in supporting a church that is pastored by a parent of a special-needs child. A clinical psychologist, John arranged his schedule at Veterans Affairs to often en- able him to be home at 4:30 p.m. for his family. The couple downsized their housing to afford investment in the needs of their children. Dance lessons and similar activities gave way to focusing on the child with the greatest needs, though the parents strove to spend time with each one. With the help of a support person and a communication aid, their son graduated high school this year. In addition to supporting a church, the Schauts have invested in summer camps and R

sponsored children whose families could not afford special-needs camps. Andrew and Judith Ross PREPARED BY The Washington Times Advocacy Department

Andrew and Judith Ross have been married for 60 years, raised four children, and have 11 grandchildren. Phengchanh and Andrew was a Hungarian Jewish Ho- Wilaiwan Soundara locaust survivor. He was the Army buddy of Judy’s brother Phillip, which is how a Phengchanh Soundara was born in European Jew and a devout Christian first Laos as the son of a Chinese fisherman came together. and a Lao woman. Abandoned by his About to turn 89, Andrew spent his father and then orphaned at a young age, adult life as a steel company salesman, he escaped to a Thai refugee camp with traveling the highways and byways of the hope of being relocated to the United America to support his growing family. States. He arrived in the Washington, He was instrumental in teaching many D.C., area in 1980, attended high school young businessmen the tools of the trade, in Virginia, and currently works as a especially going the extra mile to care for customers. service technician for an equipment-rental Judy served as a member of the DuPage County Board in suburban Chicago (the company. His wife, Wilaiwan, was born second largest county in Illinois) for many years. in Bangkok, Thailand; immigrated to the The couple were instrumental in mentoring many young parents on how to best United States in 1986; and currently is a raise their children from his “office” on the front porch of their humble home, where domestic worker. They have been married for 28 years and have two children. REPORTTIMES

they still reside today. Andy and Judy have now become each other’s caregivers. Both parents serve the region’s Thai temple by doing housework, serving food to the Judy’s brothers, Phillip and Daniel, were both congressmen from Illinois. The monks, and performing groundskeeping duties. They also help other Thai people who WASHINGTON

youngest brother, David, was a psychiatrist. Judy’s oldest brother gave his life when he arrive as immigrants by guiding them to get better jobs through an employment agency diverted his Navy jet from crashing into a populated area. called Helping Hands, or by fixing their cars without charge because Phengchanh Their children include Matthew, a brain surgeon who is married with three chil- believes in helping those in need. A SPECIAL

dren; Debbie, an elementary school teacher and mother of five who worked to end the Phengchanh imparted the lesson to his children that nothing comes easily and if you sale of pornography in DuPage County; Peter, an attorney who is married with three have a goal, you have to fight for it. Like other immigrants, he and his wife started from Thursday • July 21 • 2016 | THE

children and who served as an U.S. Air Force pilot in Iraq; and John, who is working in nothing but ended up owning their home and four cars and raising children in whom the oil fields in Alaska. they instilled the culture and religious heritage of Thailand.

In observance of the United Nations’ Global Day of Parents In 2012, the United Nations passed a Resolution Consultative Status with the United Nations Economic are included here. The full conference can be viewed at UN to establish June 1 as an annual day to honor parents. and Social Council, hosted an afternoon program, “The Web TV at http://webtv.un.org/search/the-importance- Recently, on June 1, the Permanent Observer Mission Importance of Motherhood and Fatherhood for Integral of-fatherhood-and-motherhood-for-integral-development of the Holy See to the United Nations, in partnership Development,” to celebrate the Global Day of Parents. /4926535575001?term=motherhood webtv.un.org/ with Universal Peace Federation, an NGO in Special Excerpts from the presentations from that conference

Family welfare is ‘decisive for the future of the world’ authentic feminism should never “ne- and “close to his children as they concerned about them” (263). People gate motherhood” and that “the weak- grow” (AL 175-177). think and act in a certain way because ening of this maternal presence with Pope Francis, however, focuses of what they learned from their early its feminine qualities poses a grave his reflection not on mothers and years of development. That’s why it’s risk to our world.” Without mothers fathers in their individual work, but so important to help moms and dads being mothers, and without an appre- in their harmonious cooperation help children during those earliest ciation of mothers as mothers, he said, for the good of their children, each years build the type of foundation that society would be “dehumanized.” other’s good and the good of society. not only leads to lasting happiness This special capacity for nurtur- Their combined service is greater and success of their children, but also ing life, shown particularly in moth- than the sum of their individual work, redounds to the good of all of society. By Archbishop Bernardito Auza

F erhood, is, he states, the “strongest and their children profit most from For this reason, the Pope exhorts our years ago, on Sept. 17, 2012, antidote to the spread of self-centered their complementary teamwork. Pope all to work to strengthen parents in the United Nations General individualism.” The mother who Francis says that “love from [both] providing this type of environment, Assembly adopted a Resolu- “watches over her child with tender- a mother and a father” is “necessary this “integral ecology” (277), which is

A SPECIAL REPORT PREPARED BY The Washington Times Advocacy Department tion [66/292] proclaiming ness and compassion,” he said, “helps for a child’s integral and harmoni- the grammar school of human ex- June 1 to be the annual Global ous development. … We are speaking istence. Our event this afternoon is Day of Parents to honor parents not simply of the love of father and meant to be a contribution toward this throughout the world for their selfless, mother as individuals, but also of their aim. Today, we have several speakers life-long dedication to nurturing and Pope Francis, however, mutual love, perceived as the source who will help nourish our under- protecting their children and helping focuses his reflection not of one’s life and the solid foundation standing of the importance of mother- their full maturation as human beings. Today is June 1. So, dear parents in on mothers and fathers of the family. … Together they teach the value of reciprocity, of respect for hood and fatherhood for the integral development of men, women, boys, the room and dear parents throughout in their individual work, differences and of being able to give girls and all of society. the world, Happy Parents Day! but in their harmonious and take” (172). It gives me great joy to welcome cooperation for the Moms and Dads as co-educators Archbishop Bernardito Auza is you — on this fourth commemoration either instill in their children “trust Apostolic Nuncio at the Perma- of Global Parents Day — to this after- good of their children, and loving respect” by their affec- nent Observer Mission of the Holy noon’s Conference on “The Impor- each other’s good and tion, example and trustworthiness, See to the United Nations. tance of Fatherhood and Motherhood the good of society. or by their failure to provide in this for Integral Development,” sponsored way, leave their children questioning by the Permanent Observer Mission whether their parents “are sincerely of the Holy See to the United Nations, him or her to grow in confidence and in conjunction with the Universal to experience that the world is a good Peace Federation. and welcoming place. This helps the

UN Resolution on Global

THE WASHINGTON TIMES | Thursday • July 21 • 2016 The importance of moms and child to grow in self-esteem and, in dads, and of their joint commitment turn, to develop a capacity for inti-

Day of Parents in raising the next generation, cannot macy and empathy.” For all of these be overstated. The future of humanity reasons, Pope Francis affirms that depends on the how well moms and motherhood is “essential to society” dads do in their mission as teachers in (AL 173-175). forming their children in values, so- The Pope likewise speaks of the The Global Day of Parents is ob- the primary responsibility for the nur- cialization, trust, mutual respect and importance of fatherhood. “A father served on the 1st of June every year. turing and protection of children and responsibility, education, hard work, possessed of a clear and serene The Day was proclaimed by the UN that children, for the full and harmoni- affection, compassion, forgiveness, masculine identity who demonstrates General Assembly in 2012 with resolu- ous development of their personality, solidarity and ethical development. affection and concern for his wife,” tion A/RES/66/292 and honours parents should grow up in a family environment Pope Francis describes the impor- Pope Francis says, “is just as neces- throughout the world. The Global Day and in an atmosphere of happiness, love tance of the family in his exhortation, sary [for children and society] as a provides an opportunity to appreciate and understanding. “The Joy of Love (Amoris Laetitia),” caring mother.” Such a father “helps all parents in all parts of the world for The resolution recognizes the role published last month. the child to perceive the limits of life, their selfless commitment to children of parents in the rearing of children “The welfare of the family,” he af- to be open to the challenges of the and their lifelong sacrifice towards and invites Member States to celebrate firms, “is decisive for the future of the wider world, and to see the need for nurturing this relationship. the Day in full partnership with civil world” (AL 31). hard work and strenuous effort.” (175). In its resolution, the General As- society, particularly involving young Pope Francis speaks of the crucial Society needs to assist and encourage sembly also noted that the family has people and children. importance of mothers, saying that an fathers to remain “close to his wife” 7

Good parenting has immeasurable value the day, that parenthood, motherhood, — despite contemporary challenges — survival. So let’s think of the concept of fatherhood needs to be woven into a and often functions within a standard “eggshell education.” compelling narrative that stands its framework of mothers and fathers and So let us, through this program, pro- ground with other competing narratives children forming a basic family unit. mote high standards of — with a capital that sometimes don’t give voice to these As such, it behooves us to explore and letter — Motherhood and Fatherhood, social assets. mine this massive stock of potential for and look at it in terms of good gover- There is no single factor that makes its social assets, its social capital. nance, with best practices within the or breaks development. Rather, there’s a Mothers and fathers — we all have family, and giving voice or advocacy bundle of factors — all important, each them, in some way, shape or form. They to such. needing its advocates, its arguments for can be, at times, both unforgivably de- We can thereby leverage a norma- wider inclusion, and its best practices structive and yet irreplaceably produc- tive set of practices that lead toward a to observe. tive. We know of the potential for harm broader social good, and provide mea- In our UPF programs, as our founder poor parenting can bring. surable, positive outcomes and impact stated in this venue in the year 2000 … At the same time, good parenting, generations to come. “the family is the school of love.” This like good governance in other sectors, is UPF is honored to be part of this is a motto of UPF. necessary for social, psychological, po- session, and remains committed to con- Is love important to the Sustainable litical, intellectual, civic, moral, spiritual tributing to the Post-2016 SD Agenda, Development Goals? I think so. But growth. Currently, the NBA playoffs are working with Member States, includ-

S By Thomas Walsh maybe that narrative needs to be more going on … a few days ago there was an ing the Holy See Mission, along with forcefully and better written. And that article in the Wall Street Journal about the Economic and Social Council and ome social realities are so concept of love — just as we might the high frequency of NBA players who other UN agencies, NGOs and other close, near and essential, with the concept of justice — be better are associated with a relative who is an faith-based organizations. We appreciate they can often be taken unpacked and articulated. elite athlete. Fifty percent of the NBA this precious, and sometimes scarce, re- for granted. I believe the The family transmits not only love, players have a relative who is an elite source of good parenting, good mothers family, parenthood, moms but through parents, a wide range of athlete who, no doubt, mentors them and good fathers. and dads too often fit in essential or cardinal virtues, capacities, … and in 25 percent of those cases, [the that category. Hence, my dispositions, attitudes and skills. For elite athlete] is a mother or a father. Thomas G. Walsh, Ph.D., is president of appreciation for today’s program, speak- this reason, the family and parenting I’ll mention one other article I read, Universal Peace Federation International, ers, Holy See Mission and this audience. deserve and should be on the agenda in Scientific American, which talks which has NGO status at the United As the wider United Nations com- of discussions of development. The about “eggshell education.” It’s talking Nations. He also serves on the Interna- PREPARED BY The Washington Times Advocacy Department

munity — which consists not only of UN Global Day of Parents was decided about … the Australian Fairywren, a bird. tional council of the World Association Member States but representatives of by the General Assembly with such an The mother bird sings to the baby bird in of Non-Governmental Organizations and civil society, including the private sector awareness in mind. the shell in order to teach and instruct on the board of directors of the Interna- and faith-based organizations — works Much of the world still aspires the singing, the language, necessary for tional Coalition for Religious Freedom. toward the Sustainable Development Agenda and the Sustainable Develop- ment Goals, it’s imperative that we seek to utilize all available assets in moving Mothers and fathers — we all have them, in some way, shape or form. toward that goal… to leverage and bring They can be, at times, both unforgivably destructive and yet irreplaceably to bear those assets toward the achieve- ment of the Sustainable Development productive. We know of the potential for harm poor parenting can bring. Goals. The concept of “integral develop- ment” has this in mind; namely, it is a holistic and comprehensive approach to development, and I believe calls us to consider or give voice to assets that may have been inadequately appreci- ated, utilized, perhaps marginalized in the process. REPORTTIMES

I believe we can highlight and pro- mote some social assets — namely, WASHINGTON

fatherhood and motherhood — with an aim to giving those assets wider currency, backed by mature advocacy, A SPECIAL

supported by evidence-based empirical science, and consistent with a widely Thursday • July 21 • 2016 | THE

shared and compelling moral vision. While fatherhood and motherhood are social facts linked to reproduction, human fulfillment, and the intergen- erational transmission of genes, values, traditions, ethics, culture, language, etc., the family and parenthood still needs to be better construed in terms of its existing contributions, and its under- utilized potential both for microsocial and macrosocial development. We could say, in the parlance of 8

Family structure, stability both benefit children of the Americas and in Europe are now And brings me to my being raised in homes without two-parent final major point here, families; this trend is also evident in many which is that I have seen countries in sub-Saharan Africa. more research on the Why does this matter to us around the impact not just on fam- world? If we turn first to research from ily structure for kids but North America and Europe, we see that also the impact of family kids who are not raised in two-parent stability for children. homes are more likely to suffer emotion- What we’re seeing is ally, physically and economically. that kids are more likely I have to mention here that I was to thrive in stable family raised by a single mother, and many kids contexts. raised by single moms turn out just fine. The United Nations’ But I am also a social scientist, and what I Sustainable Develop- am seeing is that there are increased risks ment Goals seek to for kids who are being raised in single- improve the health of By W. Bradford Wilcox

T parent homes across the globe. children in countries he foundation for my talk today For instance, in the United States across the globe, and is the World Family Map, a new today, we see that boys who are raised what our research at international effort sponsored by in homes without their fathers are about World Family Map is the Institute for Family Studies, twice as likely to end up in prison or suggesting is that there Child Trends, Social Trends Insti- in jail by the time they are in their 30s is a connection between tute, and a number of other partners across — and that’s with controlling for their family stability and child the globe. parents’ income and education. health for kids across This project is particularly timely And dads matter for daughters as well: much of the developing because much of the globe is experi- We see in the research that girls who are world.

A SPECIAL REPORT PREPARED BY The Washington Times Advocacy Department encing what scholars call a secondary raised in a home without their father are For instance, we see demographic transition. While the first much more likely to end up pregnant as that stunting is more transition was marked by a rise in indi- teenagers. common for kids in vidualism, consumerism, and the status of Then we turn to a more positive out- never-married or divorced families in context. This quote from Princeton women, the second democratic transition come … human capital: We see that kids much Latin America, Africa and Asia. University sociologist Sara McLanahan is marked by a retreat from parenthood who were raised in two-parent homes are Also, for the most serious outcome gives you a sense of this perspective: She and a retreat from marriage… One of more likely to attend and graduate from here, child mortality, we see that kids of says, “A two-parent ideal would ensure the core aims of World Family Map is to college. divorced or unmarried-but-partnered that children have access to the time determine how this transition is affecting How does this pattern apply to other families are at least 20 percent more likely and money of two adults, provide some children across the globe. countries? Data show that in Sweden — a to die compared to kids from stable, two- checks and balances to promote a quality When it comes to fertility, for instance, country with a dramatically different parent families. of parenting, and the fact that both par- the retreat from parenthood has garnered welfare regime than the United States — So again what I am suggesting here ents have a biological connection to the headlines as policymakers from Spain there’s also a very strong association with is when you look at the parent ecology, child would increase the likelihood that to South Korea scramble to find ways to family structure and child outcomes. Kids that it’s not just the structure of the family the parents would identify with the child, boost their birthrates. All of this is not raised in single-parent homes in Sweden that matters, it’s also the stability — and be willing to sacrifice for that child, and surprising given that in about half of are more likely to face higher odds of kids are more likely to flourish physically reduce the likelihood that either parent the world’s countries, fertility has fallen suicide and odds of drug addiction, and when they have the benefit of a stable, would abuse the child.” below the replacement level of 2.1 babies also more likely to be held back for a year two-parent family context. And in terms The Universal Declaration of Human per woman. in school. of stability, we control our analyses for Rights declared that “the family is the Falling fertility rates raises alarms And turning our gaze to other coun- wealth … so we don’t think money is the natural and fundamental group unit of

THE WASHINGTON TIMES | Thursday • July 21 • 2016 because long-term low fertility leads to tries, we see there is also a link between primary story here… society and is entitled to protection by declines in labor force and increases in education and family structure in much I’d like to conclude with some good society and the state.” This is because the the ratio of the elderly who depend on the of Asia, much of Latin America and the news. social and economic wealth of nations working-age population. In the words of Middle East as well. In many countries The first point is that most children depend in no small part on the health of demographer Nicholas Eberstadt, “These — Chile to Singapore — we find that kids around the globe are being raised in a the family. demographic trends portend ominous raised in homes without their two parents home with their two parents and often Families matter. Parents matter. In the changes in economic prospects in many are more likely to be held back in school, their extended kin. I think that’s one face of tremendous change in the family, developed countries, major increases in for instance. This is controlling for par- important piece of good news to know I think we shall come to see that the path public debt patterns, and slower eco- ents’ education and income. today. towards continued social and economic nomic growth.” So how do we understand what’s hap- A second point is that most citizens and physical progress for the world’s chil- But World Family Map is not just pening here? I will just say briefly that around the globe, as judged by World dren lies in part in protecting the intact about the number of babies being born two parents on average have more time Values Survey, agree that kids need “a family where it is currently strong and — it’s also about the nature of the homes and attention to give to their kids and father and a mother to grow up happily.” renewing the family where it’s fragile. that they are being born into and raised often more money to give to their kids. So I think there’s a reservoir of support within. These families can draw on two networks for the two-parent family among most of W. Bradford Wilcox, Ph.D., is director of It seems that around much of the of kin more effectively in raising their our global citizenry. the National Marriage Project and associ- world a growing number of kids are children. They can also give their kids And the third point is that, when it ate professor of sociology at the Univer- being born and raised outside of a stable, more stability — if you’ve had kids or comes to academic research, there is a sity of Virginia. He is senior fellow at the two-parent home. For instance, we see care for kids, you know they thrive on recognition that kids are more likely to Institute for Family Studies and a visiting that about 20 percent of kids in much stable routines with stable caregivers. thrive, on average, in a stable, two-parent scholar at American Enterprise Institute. 9

‘Our children need us to talk about hard things’ frequency of sex scenes on television studies that show a dad in the home. identity and a sense of value as a and in the movies. This is a grave con- His presence protects girls and boys. person is to have the diverse exposure cern of mine — particularly because I Psychologists have also talked about of a mother and a father and a faith, have treated a number of teenagers — the relationship between the mother because then you have a complete a lot of teenagers — with pain due to and the father — interestingly, psychol- picture for a child: the masculine and sexual activity too early. Specifically, I ogists have thought that a child simply the feminine. am talking about sexually transmitted needs a relationship with a mother and infections … from children being sexu- a relationship with a father. But what Meg Meeker, M.D., (megmeekermd. ally active far too early with too many we now know is that the children gain com) is a best-selling author and leading sexual partners…. security from the relationship between authority on parenthood, children and Ladies and gentlemen, our children the two…. need us to talk about hard things. … We also know a lot Our kids are exposed to tremendous about identity formation dangers out there. We know the answer in children — that strong — and that’s the great part about the character development work that I do as a pediatrician. We comes from having a By Dr. Meg Meeker have the answers … research has told diverse exposure of the

I us. masculine and the femi- have watched children over the A beautiful study called the ADD nine … past 30-plus years grow up … and Health study began a number of years This is because become a professional listener of with 90,000 kids in America. And they through a child’s eyes, parents and children, if you will. determined to find out one thing: What when Dad tells a child We can intellectualize about is operating in a child’s life that keeps something it’s very dif- what a father should be and what a them away from all the bad stuff? What ferent from when Mother mother should be, but most impor- keeps them away from sex, drugs and tells a child something … tantly, we need to understand it from alcohol? Another factor that a child’s perspective: When a 3- or The researchers found something is proven to strengthen 5-year-old or 15-year-old child looks at startling: It wasn’t peers, it wasn’t children and their sense mom or dad in the evening, standing school programs, it wasn’t getting our of value is faith. Believe it in the kitchen, what does that child see kids more involved in after school or not, research says that and what does that child need? activities. It was something called “par- God is good for kids. And PREPARED BY The Washington Times Advocacy Department

Our children are currently facing ent connectedness.” there is a lot of research challenges that none of us in this room In other words, again through the on that …It is the moral faced when we were growing up. eyes of children and teenagers, our structure? In part. Is it The average child spends more time kids are telling us, “We need moms having a faith commu- on the [media] screen than he or she and dads in our lives, engaged and nity? In part. Is it because spends in school. The average amount available, protecting us, teaching us, you have responsibility of time a child spends with a parent is and setting us on the right path in life.” and accountability? Is 34 minutes per day. They wanted it and they are open to it. it because you have a You add up the numbers and it’s The body of research is growing Higher Power that you pretty clear what is having a very large on the positive effects of children who believe is good and that influence over our children. grow up with their fathers — and the you relate to? Probably all I have seen personally, and the negative effects if they don’t have them. of those things. research confirms this, a swell in the … We know that teen boys and girls But as a pediatrician who wants to teen health. She has a pediatric practice amount of depression in children, anxi- who live with a father in their home do my best for children, I can’t ignore in Traverse City, Michigan, and is assis- ety in children, many other ills… are far less likely to struggle with the faith factor with my children. tant clinical professor at Michigan State We are seeing increased violence depression and anxiety, to get into sex, I have literally watched thousands University College of Human Medicine. in television and movies and music, drugs and alcohol early, and they are of kids grow up and my personal She is married and has adult children not only the increased frequency but far more likely to get better grades, to experience affirms all of this research and two grandchildren. Her latest book increased intensity… finish high school and to go onto col- that I just talked about … I believe very is “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters We also know that children are lege and graduate schools. And these strongly that the fullest opportunity Devotional: 52 Devotions Every Father REPORTTIMES

watching increased intensity and are studies of not great dads; these are that a child has to develop a strong Needs.” WASHINGTON

Motherhood transforms women in lasting, beneficial ways A SPECIAL Thursday • July 21 • 2016 | THE

By Cheryl Wetzstein — put us first, ahead of her many other — but virtually every other part of the of blood — this is a major reason why tasks or desires. baby is created, literally, from the body of mothers see the insides of so many bath- In honor of the Global Day of Parents, his or her mother. rooms during pregnancy. To the mothers, grandmothers, I would like to address three areas where During pregnancy, a woman’s entire Breathing is now being done for two aunties, sisters and other women who I think we can find sincere common cardiovascular system is readjusted. — and it gets harder as the pregnancy have loved and nurtured children with ground as we think about mothers. Blood and oxygen nourish the develop- progresses and the baby and placenta a mother’s heart, today is intended to The first point is that during preg- ing fetus, placenta and uterus — so the squeeze up to the rib cage…. recognize your care and investment in nancy, women give even to the bone for woman’s oxygen consumption goes up A woman even gives to the bone for our new generations. their unborn children. and the amount of blood pumped every her unborn child: Growing babies need We were all born completely helpless, A baby cannot come into being minute by her heart slowly increases calcium for their bodies, and will take it but with a will to live. That we lived is without the all-important sperm of a man by up to 50 percent. Her kidneys work 10 because someone — usually our mother and its precious chromosomal contents harder to filter an increasing volume » see MOTHER | C11

The importance of being ‘Father’ held me up as I strained to reach the of U.S. children are born to a single The mission of the Fathers for Good pedals, gave a push and off I went, down mother; and upwards of 40 percent of is summed up well in the name: First, the block, swerving nervously. Good marriages end in divorce… This is bad once a man becomes a father, once he thing there was a fence at the end of the for the kids involved, and can’t be good generates new life, he is a father for street to break my fall! for our society over time, despite the good; there is no giving back that gift. My mother, with ears set to the many stories of children from broken [And secondly] most men — and I precise frequency of the screams of her homes making a success in the world think deep down, all men — when they three boys, was at the window in a flash, and heroic moms raising good kids on do become a father, want to be a good and began yelling at my dad, who stood their own. father. There is an innate desire, given by impervious to any maternal fears or Yet despite the huge ache of father God the Father, for all men to be a good even human reasoning. (This was well absence at the heart of our society, there father… before mandatory safety helmets.) Look- is very little talk about the problem, and We welcome wives as equal part- ing back at dad, I saw his proud smile no conscious, sustained effort to find a ners on this path, taking for our own saying, “That’s my boy, he gave it his all,” solution… the quote attributed to the late Father and knew that I — and the masculine There is, I suspect, … a general feel- Hesburgh, longtime president of Notre world I was learning to inhabit — would ing that fathers are expendable. Sure, a Dame: “The greatest gift a father can live to see another day. mother and father together raising their give his children is to love their mother.” That was my father. Chances are, children is ideal, but if anything goes Indeed, in this beautiful mess of life with different details, your father was wrong in the mix, the father can be cut and love called the family, we highlight By Brian Caulfield something like that, too. Blame it on out… the positive, while never downplaying hormones, the differences between male Yet the benefits of fathers to their the many problems and pitfalls inher- I will start with the words of the and female brains, nature or nurture, families are so obvious … Children who ent in the human condition. We teach world’s most popular father — our Holy Mars and Venus, or a gift from God who do not have a father in their lives have what the Catholic Church teaches, not Father Pope Francis: made them male and female. The nature much higher rates of: so much as dogma, but as the com- A father helps the child “to perceive of fatherhood is so familiar and univer- • Dropping out of school and mon sense of the ages that will make us the limits of life, to be open to the chal- sal that Pope Francis inscribes it into a delinquency happy. We hold up love — self-giving, lenges of the wider world, and to see the document meant for the faithful, across • Anti-social behavior self-sacrificing love that is the greatest need for hard work and strenuous effort” nations, societies and cultures… • Poverty gift of one person to another — as the (Amoris Laetitia, 175). We may ask today whether Pope • Running afoul of the law very attainable human goal for all mar- Pope Francis has a way of grasping Francis’ words about fathers are meant • Early sexual activity and teen riages and families. the essence of an issue and putting it in to describe more of an ideal — a cari- pregnancy As St. John Paul II said, “The future

A SPECIAL REPORT PREPARED BY The Washington Times Advocacy Department terms we can all understand. This quote, cature from the past — than a current There is a problem, and dad is at the of the world and of the Church passes written after the two synods on the fam- reality. Later in his exhortation, he talks center of the solution… through the family.” With these words in ily, sums up quite nicely some of the best about “a society without fathers” and the To conclude, I will focus on what I mind, it is worth our best efforts to form scholarship on the nature of fatherhood, symbolic absence of the father figure. know best, my experience as editor of the next generation of good fathers. and resonates with commonsense expe- Indeed, there are many pressures today Fathers for Good, an initiative for fathers rience. Well, at least my own experience. acting against fatherhood, the most and their families by the Knights of Brian Caulfield, who is married and the Let me explain with a personal an- troubling of them being the simple fact Columbus … to provide guidance to men father of two sons, is editor of Fathers- ecdote. One summer, when I was 8 or 9, that so many children now do not have as they seek to live out their vocation to forGood.org, sponsored by the Knights of we rented a bicycle that was way too big consistent contact with their dad, due fatherhood in a culture that is not always Columbus Supreme Council. He edited for me. With the best of intentions, no to divorce, separation, incarceration, or open to the unique attributes of mascu- the 2013 book, “Man to Man, Dad to doubt, my dad plopped me on the seat, child abandonment… Today, 41 percent line virtue. Dad: Catholic Faith and Fatherhood.”

MOTHER “Sleepy to Dopey” pretty quickly. So there is some truth to the “preg- nancy brain,” but research also suggests For example, in studies of rats, mother rats and “virgin” rat were put in mazes with food at the end. Scientists watched industrious, respect themselves and others, and be bold and confident in life. Mother often provide a spiritual example From page C10 that a woman’s brain fully recovers from to see which rats were the quickest to and devotion and love of God. And im- from their mothers’ bones and teeth un- pregnancy with a remodeled brain that find their way to the food. The mother portantly, they cultivate compassion and less she adds calcium to her diet. has lasting cognitive improvements. rats dramatically outperformed the love for others…

THE WASHINGTON TIMES | Thursday • July 21 • 2016 We all know about all the other virgin rats — in fact, the mother rats who But of course the major way that incredible changes that take place in a had two or more pregnancies were faster motherhood adds value to society has to woman’s body before birth, during birth Mothers enter what than the rats who had given birth only do with raising children to be successful and after birth. It is indeed a miracle, and can be called a school once. adults. we all can say thank you to our mothers for those extraordinary days of self-sacri- of love — with classes In an interview I did some years ago with Katherine Ellison, author of the As Dr. Brad Wilcox has found, both mothers and fathers want their children fice that led to our having life. every hour on how book, “The Mommy Brain: How Moth- to succeed, but they approach parent- My second point about motherhood is to create growing erhood Makes Us Smarter,” she said ing differently: Mothers tend to be more that it often transforms women in lasting experiences, handle science had indicated that there were verbal, affectionate, predictable, comfort- and beneficial ways. “five attributes of a baby-boosted brain.” ing — while dads bring excitement and For anyone who has been in Babyland, unexpected changes, These were: an enhanced perception, and challenge into kids’ lives: It’s like dads there is a perception that women get a manage expectations. greater sensitivity in smell, vision, hear- challenge kids to get out of the nest, little ditzy around child birth — they are ing and physical contact. “Mom radar,” while moms try to make children feel at forgetful, they get “porridge brain,” “preg- In other words, becoming a mother is Mrs. Ellison put it. home in the nest. nancy brain,” etc. After all, one study a strengthening experience for many Mothers enter what can be called a found that primary caregivers — i.e., women: They become faster, more aware, school of love — with classes every hour Cheryl Wetzstein, formerly a national mothers — can lose 700 hours of sleep more courageous and more resource- on how to create growing experiences, news reporter, is manager of special in their baby’s first year. The expert who ful. After all, they are preparing for the handle unexpected changes, manage sections at The Washington Times told me that added that anyone with that mother of all multitasking experiences: expectations. Among the lessons moth- kind of sleep deprivation can go from raising a child. ers teach children are how to share, be 11

Staying plugged in to our children in the digital world young children’s lives and the pressures actually not how much we love our As I comforted my niece, I asked her of technology in my book, “Rest, Play, children that matters most, but whether if she knew the No. 1 rule when she felt Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers they have given their heart to us. this way, and she said no. I told her that (Or Anyone Who Acts Like One).” I Children do not follow parents or learn she needed to hold on to someone who have also aided educators in consid- from teachers they are not attached to. wasn’t lost and confused about who she ering technology and its impact on You cannot protect, preserve or be a was. I asked her, “Are your friends lost student/teacher relationships, as well as guardian for a child’s heart that has not and confused?” to which she replied guided university students in forming been entrusted to you for safekeeping… yes. I asked, “Is your boyfriend lost and educational plans and career goals to What is clear is that our relation- confused?” to which she replied yes meet the demands of a digital age. ships with our children cannot be again. But this issue is important to me on displaced or replaced by all that comes I then asked her, “When you look a more personal level because I am also with this new digital age, but there are around here today, who is not lost or the mother of two children who are clear signs we are being challenged to confused about you?” She looked at me both entering their adolescent years. hold onto our kids. and said, “You.” And it was then that I I remember when I gave my 7-year- I watched as my 14-year-old niece felt I had reentered her life once more. old an iPad to try out for the first time. became peer-attached and clung to her I asked her who else, and she looked By Deborah MacNamara It really was love at first sight as she phone as the lifeline that preserved her at her mother and said, “My mom.”

T enjoyed watching video clips and play- connection to friends. And with that, I left them to have a he digital age has reshaped ing games. It was only two conversation. the landscape in which we are weeks later, in the middle of a Later on, my sister told me raising our children. While our warm embrace as I put her to they talked at length and my new tools and technologies bed one night she told me, “Oh niece cried for some time. After allow us to do things we could Mommy, your hugs are still bet- telling her mother about all the only once dream of, it has also changed ter than technology time.” I was things that were not working in the conditions under which we care stunned by her comment and her life, she looked at her sur- for our children. What is the impact of wondered how had my seven- prised and said, “Mom, I never the digital age on parenting and child year relationship with her thought you would understand PREPARED BY The Washington Times Advocacy Department

development? In order to answer this become comparable to 14 days what I was going through or question we will need to ask what comes of minimal technology time. that you had gone through with these new tools and whether they The problem facing parents some of this too.” Separated are what our children need to realize today is that we do not have from her phone and her peers, their full human potential. cultural tradition to guide us. we, the adults in her life, were Many parents today are raising the As Canadian environmen- once again able to reclaim a first true digital natives despite being talist David Suzuki stated, it foothold in her heart. digital immigrants themselves. The takes societies anywhere from What is clear to me is that challenge lies in being able to lead our 100 to 200 years to develop we need to find a way to hold children into this age instead of just fol- the cultural rules and rituals onto our kids in a digital age, lowing them. around the use of new tools. as there is no turning back Many children now have unprec- We don’t have this type of time and this is the world they will edented access to information, enter- when it comes to raising our inherit. We need to lead our tainment and connectivity — especially kids, so we will need to find children into this new age and to their peers — but is this what our another way. We will need to introduce them to their new children really need? If the goal is to become conscious of the condi- tools and technologies when raise them to be socially and emotion- tions conducive for healthy they are ready and mature ally mature global citizens who are re- development by turning to enough to handle all that comes silient and adaptive, then the answer is developmental science, attach- with it… no, this is not what they need. Further- ment science, neuroscience, as We cannot send our chil- REPORTTIMES

more, these things are proving to make well as parenting intuition and dren into the digital world parenting more challenging and have insight. empty-handed with only their WASHINGTON

the capacity to adversely impact the The greatest need our chil- technological tools in tow. conditions under which our children dren have, that must be met for Maturity is the prerequisite flourish. healthy development to unfold, for true digital citizenship, and A SPECIAL

I have spent many decades consider- is that of human attachment. Attach- We took her on a camping trip as an to that end, parents are still the best ing human development, as a faculty ment is how we fulfill our children’s extended family in order to reclaim a “devices.” Thursday • July 21 • 2016 | THE

member at the Neufeld Institute, work- hunger for contact and closeness and is foothold back in her life. ing alongside internationally respected, the single most important factor that in- In realizing the campground didn’t Deborah MacNamara, Ph.D., is on faculty clinical and developmental psychologist fluences the trajectory of their growth. have any cell coverage, she told her at the Neufeld Institute in Vancouver, Dr. Gordon Neufeld and physician and Every child needs at least one strong, mother it was going to be so boring Canada and in private practice work- addiction specialist Dr. Gabor Mate, caring, emotionally available adult to trip because she couldn’t talk to any of ing with parents based on the relational co-authors of “Hold Onto Your Kids: feel they belong to. Attachment for a her friends. Despite being surrounded and developmental approach of Gordon Why Parents Need to Matter More child is about who they feel they are by her village of aunts, uncles, cousins Neufeld, Ph.D. She is the author of “Rest, Than Peers.” I have helped parents in the same as, who they are loyal to, who and grandparents, she longed to be Play, Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers my counseling practice make sense they want to be significant to, cared for, elsewhere. (Or Anyone Who Acts Like One).” Please of the digital world and the implica- as well as share their secrets with. The On the third day of the camping trip, see www.macnamara.ca for more infor- tions for raising their kids, as well as answer to what our children need most I came across her and her mother in con- mation or www.neufeldinstitute.org. managing problems related to it. I have of all is love. versation. My niece was sobbing and my 12 addressed the importance of play in But the key issue here is that it is sister said my niece felt lost and confused.