South American Providence - Going to South America

Going to South America Paul Creene expectation for UTS graduates” as well also gave a talk to students one night as the feelings of wanting to pursue the that left me with a feeling like I had “normal” life of a career of some sort, a been run over by a steam roller.

I HADconsidered going to UTS since the late 1980’s when Father said that he wanted more western members to at- tend the seminary. In 1990 I found myself house in a nice middle class suburban neighborhood with a two car garage; in other words the “typical American materialistic dream.” When I had made After these speeches by Father and Un Jin Nim, I started feeling like “what’s a squid like me doing here ?” The calibur of students had become quite high; Jin in a situation where I had no public mis- sion for the first time in my church life. up my mind to “damn the torpedoes, full Hun Nim had graduated the previous The feeling of “homelessness” felt speed ahead,” it felt like a big weight off year, three other members of the True somewhat strange, considering that for my back. With the “American Dream” Family had been taking classes, Peter Kim the 12 years previous to that I had shattered, but my spirit intact, it gave was a student, as well as several older always been doing some- Korean and Japanese thing that could be con- members, and there were sidered a “front line” mis- The most important time for any UTS several western members sion. Since I had been with a lot of leadership graduate is the moment when you meet experience. thinking about attending UTS, it seemed like it Father face to face for the first time I looked around at might be the right time to after graduating. This is really an some of my fellow class- “make the plunge.” I mates and had a definite moved to the UTS area in awesome moment in one’s spiritual life. inferiority complex set in. 1990 still needing to finish Stubbornness and fear of attaining a bachelor’s degree. me a sense of relief to have made the the title of “UTS Dropout” kept me Basically I was starting from scratch, choice I did. I went through a few more going long enough to graduate. I think having about 10 credits that I could claim times of inner turmoil while I was (and when I say this I think I speak for from a few previous college classes. I attending UTS. In the spring of 1994 the majority of the graduates) the most enrolled in the Regent’s College out Father came twice to speak to students important time for any UTS graduate is of Albany, NY and began studying to and spoke quite harshly. Un Jin Nim the moment when you meet Father face take GRE and CLEP tests. It took longer than I originally planned to finish get- ting the degree from Regent’s College, but for reasons that were not related to academic matters. The GRE tests and CLEP tests I found to be relatively easy to pass with even a moderate amount of studying. To tell the truth, what made me apprehensive was the burden of responsibility that was expected of seminarians after they graduate. I do not like to be in the pub- lic spotlight that much, but being a sem- inary graduate not only puts you in the spotlight, it puts you in the position of w Z Father taking a personal interest in what w w 0< you’re doing. I never felt I could attend I.J J the seminary purely for academic reasons. ~ If I was not willing to go to the front if line after graduating, I didn’t feel like I 0 should enter UTS. >- if) w t:2 ~ Confronting the challenge 0 u I did not start UTS until the fall of 1992and I have to confess that my heart ~ 0 I was in a turmoil for those two years. It “-

took me two years to get over the feel- Paul Greene poses for a photo with his wife Yasuko after his graduation at the ings of “can I really live up to Father’s Unification Theological Seminary.

September 1996 25

to face for the first time after graduating. can you expect from a squid?) was given to be part of the “third world” is an inher- This is really an awesome moment in responsibility beyond his wildest imagi- ent challenge. My country, Panama, is one’s spiritual life. Not having had the nation. “Be able to give fluent Spanish relatively well off compared to many experience of sitting in front of Father in Divine Principle lectures within a year.” Latin American countries. In this sense I such a way in the past, I was probably a “Become a capable journalist right away should feel lucky I guess; I had been little more giddy (may be “goofy” is a or find someone who could do a good prepared in my mind to go to a lot better word ?) than those who had had job and manage them well. Do a good poorer country than Panama. such an experience before. job and I will make you the head of a Some hobbies I developed while in UIS Usually Father pops in once, maybe a newspaper.” “While you are at it, become have turned out to be providentially very few times, during the graduates’ work- a recruiter and representative for the useful for our responsibilities in Latin shop to get a look at everyone face to University of Bridgeport.” “Witness to America. I became good with computers face. It was incredible that Father called the Class of ‘95 to East Garden on not one, but three separate occasions to speak Father blazed a hot trail of his own throughout to us and give his direction personally Latin America and expects us to follow in his and in great detail. footsteps. Of course this is no easy task. Father’s Going to South America own standard of dealing with Latin American With the providence taking a turn to South America this year, I suppose many presidents and other high level people is very people weren’t too surprised we were great. It is a hard act to follow. told the direction would be to go to South America. I had a feeling of being “pre- the presidents of your country, grab them and the Internet during the last couple of destined” to go there, maybe more so than by the waists and shake them up and years, and this will be extremelyhandy for most people. In 1990 or 1991 when we down. They should never forget you.” our international communications. were all assigned to do 40 day pioneer- And on and on. All those people who thought I was ing in a foreign country, I told my wife One point Father emphasized in speak- just some computer nut staying up late before the countries were picked “I am ing to us is that we should” act first, and at night wasting his time “surfing the going to get a South American country;” then think and make plans.” If someone ‘Net” have started coming and asking it did not surprise me at all when I was used to the relatively easygoing life of how to get started with e-mail. (It feels picked for Chile. America “thinks” too much about uproot- good to be able to finally say “Hah, I told Last Christmas when I was working ing their lives and moving to another you so” !The money thing is always hang- in the malls, I started to get this strong country, it will be very easy to “think” ing over your head. With the sizable debt urge to start studying Spanish, even be- themselves out of going. Since I had I built up while in UTS, I have to deal fore Father began to speak about South already made up my mind to go to with not only a previous debt, but also America. In May of this year, after attend-Panama (my assigned country) no mat- find a way to avoid being a financial bur- ing a Sunday service at Belvedere and ter what, I felt free to begin “thinking” den to the church in Panama. I am trying hearing a report by Rev. Zin Moon Kim about working out the external details to mull over different business ideas that about South America, my spiritual anten- without worrying that I might “think” could support my family and I as well na started buzzing like it had just been my way out of going at all. as payoff old debt. In trying to keep zapped with 1000 volts of electricity. I things in perspective, I have been trying went home and told my wife “Yasuko, learning the language to not dwell on the difficulties, internal we’re going to go to South America Realistically,there are a lot ofbarriers or external, of moving to Panama. after graduation. to overcome.MySpanishlanguageskills Whatever hardships come, as they most certainly will, they should be seen as natural obstacles along the way of our One point Father emphasized in speaking to us is course of life. There is no need to avoid that we should fI act first, and then think and make them or try to hide from them; actually they should be seen as opportunities for plans.” If someone used to the relatively easygoing advancement and development. life of America flthinks” too much about uprooting Father blazed a hot trail of his own throughout Latin America and expects their lives and moving to another country, it will us to follow in his footsteps. Of course be very easy to flthink” themselves out of going. this is no easy task. Father’s own stan- dard of dealing with Latin American Even if no other person is sent there, are very minimal, speaking just enough presidents and other high level people I think Father will somehow pick me Spanish to sell roses and peanut brittle, is very great. It is a hard act to follow. individually to go.” When the “official” make fun of someone’s beer belly, and We will have to see what we can do’!l. word came down, neither my wife nor I that is about it. I bought some Spanish were surprised; we had already made language cassette tapes on the way back Paul Creene and his wife, Yasuko, partici- up our minds to go down there for 5,10, from East Garden and plunged right pated in the 2075 Couples’ Blessing. They 20 years, whatever it takes. into it. Se habla espanol? have two daughters, Carolyn and Jeroko. Naturally, this here “squid” who did For someone who has spent their not think he had be assigned to “too” whole life in a “comfortable” country like much responsibility (after all, how much America, going to a country considered

26 Today’s World