My Encounter With God

would have been in 1959 or 1960. At that time I embarked upon this youthful meditative

search, I understood God as a Cosmic Consciousness. I was sitting on the floor of a loft that

was located in the garage that my father had built in the backyard of our home in La Habra,

California, having taken a break from practicing my violin. While in a meditative state, I

was instantly transported in to a mystical realm where I found myself (or at least my

consciousness) moving through “a space like cosmos” or at least a space like realm - ie. This

realm was experienced by me as a dark void if you will but without such heavenly bodies as

stars or planets and I was moving through it trying to find that Cosmic Consciousness. At

some point I noticed and then was in the midst of what appeared to be a field of pulsating

lazar-like lights, something, upon reflection, I might describe as pulsating and

sparkling golden-hued energy. I understood that this phenomenon was somehow connected

to the Cosmic Consciousness that I was seeking, though I was not sure in what way and was

therefore was quite curious. It was then that I “encountered” a definite, distinct, separate

from myself, and bounded consciousness or presence. When I say I encountered, it is an

awkward way of saying that my spirit-self recognized that it was responding to and

resonating with a definite presence external to my personal consciousness. I should clarify

that I didn’t “talk” to this presence as in the exchanging of words or thought, or even see a

shape. The communication and the awareness were solely internal, located at the depth or

core of my spiritual-self, and that I experienced this “meeting” solely within my spirit/heart,

and not apart from to it, or “out there”. At the same time, I clearly perceived that the

Alice Fleisher Meditative Search in my youth 4/26/2016

presence was “out there” and quite external to me. It was certainly clear to me, even at that

time, that I had not conjured up or created this presence, that it was substantial, and

it certainly was not something that I could have remotely concocted even in the far reaches

of my imagination (remember, I was approximately 12 or 13 yrs. of age and did not possess

an intellectually astute or matured personality). What was even more astounding was my

response to this encounter, for from the core of my being, a genuinely overwhelming

and indescribable outpouring of joy and elation burst forth within my spirit, as though a part

of myself had been woken up or been activated from a heretofore dormant state and I was

immensely happy. I guess I could say that I had achieved a connection to God and I

instantly “fell” or exploded in love! As well, there was no time gap between the meeting

and my visceral response. Rev. Moon once described encounters of this sort in this way (I’m

paraphrasing): If you feel the kiss of God, your heart will feel like it wants to jump out of

your body. (End of paraphrase) - Yup, that was what it was like! I concurrently “felt” God,

while at the same time “I” objectively recognized that “I” did so, and “I” was figuratively

speaking dancing for joy because of it. I just “knew” at a primordial level that I had “met”

or been touched by a presence that was overwhelming, grand, incredible, awe-inspiring,

and amazing; and my euphoria erupted instantly, without any tie to my intellect. It wasn’t as

thought I was overjoyed because I ought to be, my response went quite beyond the realm of

thought or cognitive reflection. A way to describe this awaking from a musicians

perspective would be that the tuning fork that was God and the tuning fork that was

my spiritual-self began to resonate with each other, It was truly a uncommonly powerful

and overpowering visceral experience that was burned into my consciousness and that I can

return to in an instant in my spirit even now, some 50+ years later (and am currently doing

Alice Fleisher Meditative Search in my youth 4/26/2016

so in the process of writing this reflection, in my probably bumbling attempt “describe” the

breadth and scope of that experience) and one which left an indelible impact on my person.

I certainly didn’t “understand” or cognize the nature of this God, I was not given any deep or

astounding wisdoms or revelations, nor did I “see” the complexity of the universe and the

cosmic reality. Instead, I was given what might be characterized as a brief snapshot, or a

taste of God and what it would be like to be in a relationship with God. And I wanted more!

From that point, it has become an insatiable drive, desire, and push within my spirit to

extend that encounter into infinity and with constancy. I think the purpose behind this

experience was to give me a target destination that I could then progress towards. This

makes sense, because my sole purpose in that childhood meditative search was simply to

determine if God existed. I can unequivocally say that my experience certainly fulfilled that

stated purpose. Since that time any encounters in my ever progressing relationship with God

have not been nearly so dramatic, but rather occur on a more quiet and introspective

plane/realm, where I am able to immerse myself in the vibration and presence of this being

(experiences that I might describe as something like the humming with God, if you

will). At those time, in my prayer life or meditations or when I turn my spiritual senses

inward, my spiritual self periodically tunes into God, and then typically I again turn outward

and get on with the process of my daily life. But, He (or They, because in Unification

Theology we understand that God contains both masculine and feminine attributes) is never

actually separate from me, meaning that God presence is constantly connected with me

though I’m not always aware or “conscious” of Their Presence. These communications are

both mental (in that I am mentally aware that I am resonating) and yet always occur at a

primal and extra-mental (is that even a word?!) level.

Alice Fleisher Meditative Search in my youth 4/26/2016

Dear reader, I am quite aware that this attempt to describe such a visceral experience with

the presence of God is an uncommonly difficult thing to attempt to do and so I offer this

reflection with the caveat that, should it fall short of satisfying the reader’s expectations,

you have my sincere apology. For me, the greatest outcome from this flawed attempt at

documentation would only be that it encourages the reader to undertake their own

investigation and cultivation of a relationship with God. If that outcome can be realized

from this small attempt to convey my experience, than I will be at peace. I can only add that

any and all efforts made in this direction will be so worthwhile and I am convicted that the

benefits will surpass any difficulty or hesitation that a searcher may encounter or carry

within their hearts.