Lineage of Legends
Alice Fleisher

Tongil Manual

2009-05-15 · Source: tparents.org

Table of Contents Preface…6

About the Authors…6

Yongil Fleisher…6 Tomeo Wise…7 Special Thanks…7

Mission Statement…9

Statement of Purpose…9

Building a Support Group:…9 Growing their Life of Faith:…10 Becoming part of the Community:…11 Learning about the Heart of God:…12 Gaining a Vision for the Future:…12 Goals and Responsibilities of a Teacher…15

Be a Role Model:…15 Know the Subject:…16 Stay Aligned:…17 Teach What Students Need:…18 Not Judge the Participants…19 Not to forget about the community:…19 Ice Breakers…36 Teamwork and Bonding:…37 Breakout Groups:…38

The Tongil Manual 2

Breakout Groups in Large and Small Environments…40 Puzzle Group:…41 Morning Services:…42 Presentations…43 The List …44 Actionizing:…45 Activity …46 Fitting a Lesson to a Lesson Type…48

Choosing Lesson Plans…49 Mixing Lesson Types…50

When Nothing Fits…51

Yearly Topic: Back to Basics…55

Icebreakers…56 Teamwork and Bonding…56 Breakout Groups: …56 Actionizing…80 Other Aspects of Youth Education…85

A Unified System…86

The Importance of Youth Leaders:…88 Leadership Council…90

Roles in the Council…90 Areas of Responsibility in a Leadership Council…91 Creating a Leadership Council…93 Youth Group…97

Purpose of a Youth Group…98

Building a Community…98

The Tongil Manual 3

Teach the Truth…99 Preparation for the Future…100 Activity Based Event:…101 Testimony & Panel…102 Fun Night…103 Brothers & Sisters Nights…104 Parties…105 Importance of community service…106 Tips on choosing a good community service project…106 Other Types of Events…108

Small Group HDK…108 Camping and Backpacking…108 Lecture Practice…108 DP Study…108 Super Bowl Party…109 Sleepovers/ Brother and Sister Nights…109 Barbecue’s or Potlucks…109 Birthday Parties…109 Activities Table of Contents…111

Ice Breakers…117

Teamwork …134

Trust …174

Communication…183

Emotions…194

Identity…200

Spirit World…213

The Tongil Manual 4

Prayer…215

Anger Management…217

Blank Sheets…221

What is a discussion?…231 What is a moderator?…231 Responsibilities of a moderator…232 Frequently Asked Questions…236 Appendix B: Buying food…239

Appendix C: An Introduction on How to be a Good Public Speaker Importance of Public Speaking…242 Public Speaking is Creating a Relationship…243 Two aspects of public speaking…243 Internal (Heart and Content)…244 External (Packaging)…245 Other Practical Suggestions…250 To Summarize:…257 Appendix C Form 1: Public Speaking Outline…259

Appendix C Form 1: Public Speaking Outline (Example)…261

Form 2: Lesson Plan Outline…266

Form 2: Lesson Plan Outline (Example)…268

The Tongil Manual 5

Preface When Tomeo Wise and I (Yongil Fleisher) first started work on the first version of this manual, we did so because when we were tasked educating the youth in Colorado we wished that there was a manual to help us do it. Since there was no manual we ended up spending nearly three years creating a system from scratch, and in order to help others who are tasked with educating the youth of our movement, we have decided to publish a manual based upon our experience. The hope being that others can gain from what have gone through, and hopefully avoid the mistakes we made along the way.

About two years after publishing the first version of this manual I read through it again and realized how incomplete a job we did. The basic content was mostly there, but it wasn’t very usable and lacked some basic things like “How to create a curriculum” or “How to guide a discussion.” With this being the case we have gone ahead and created this second version of our Manual.

Once again we would like to reiterate that this text is not meant to be a definitive work in this area, but rather a small stepping stone for others to build on. We as youth educators see our own short comings and know that the development of youth education cannot end with the knowledge in this manual. However, after creating a self-sustaining system in Colorado we feel that the experience we have gained can help others to improve on existing systems, or create new education systems, in the areas where they work and live.

As always, our goal and desire is to give second generation all the necessary tools and skills to reach their full potential.

About the Authors Yongil Fleisher Yongil Fleisher was born on April 6, 1983 in Seattle Washington. He started working in the area of Youth Ministry at the age of 16 as an assistant councilor at Camp Sunrise in the upper New York area. In 2000, after helping as an assistant councilor at Camp One Heart, he participated in the PLA (Pure Love Alliance) tour, promoting abstinence before marriage and fidelity within marriage. In 2001 he took two years off from his studies to enter the STF (Special Task Force) leadership training program.

The Tongil Manual 6

Upon completion of the STF program in early 2003, Yongil started studying at the University of Colorado. The following summer (2004), while helping as a councilor at the first Junior STF Assembly, he felt called to enter the area of education. Over the course of the next year Yongil started teaching the elementary age Sunday school class at the Denver Family Church. The following year (2005) he helped Tomeo Wise found the youth group UPN (Ultimate Prayer Night) in Colorado, and was promoted to help teach the High school class, which he would continue to teach until late 2007. Through the course of that first Yongil went from an assistant teacher to the main teacher of the class. Also, in 2005 Yongil was blessed in Korea to Mira Brady.

In 2006 Yongil took over the running of UPN, and created a Leadership Council to help in the running of both the Sunday school program and Youth Group. Towards the end of 2006 Yongil Fleisher and Tomeo Wise published the first version of the Tongil Manual.

In 2007 Yongil helped in the drafting of a blessing education curriculum targeted for both middle and high school students. He also helped in the organization and staffing of several workshops, including a DP study workshop, and a leadership training workshop. In May of 2007 he graduated Magna Cum Laude from the University of Northern Colorado with a Bachelor’s of Science, and moved to Austria to be with his wife.

After moving to Austria Yongil joined World CARP and helped as a member of the leadership committee, and later would transfer into a leadership role within the European Youth Department. The following summer he helped staff and lecture at two Senior level workshops. From the period of late 2007 to late 2008 Yongil helped to lead a local DP study and Lecture Practice group, and stepped down in 2009 in order to spend time working on a European level DP Study Course with Dominic Zoherer.

Tomeo Wise <add intro here>

Special Thanks First and foremost we would like to thank God and our True Parents for giving us the inspiration to create this text. Secondly we would like to thank, Rev. Park, Rev. Hentrich, Cynthia Hiromitsu, and John Redmond for all their support not only in growing the education system in Colorado, and for their help in reviewing and giving input for the text itself. Thirdly,

The Tongil Manual 7

as we expand the information used in the text we would like to thank all of the peer reviewers who have given input and helped to expand the content herein.

Finally we would also like to give a special thanks to Tamar Wise and Micheal Hentrich Jr. for editing and proof reading the first version of this manual.

The Tongil Manual 8

Mission Statement The mission of our Youth Education is to raise God centered leaders who will build Chun Il Guk (One World Under God).

Statement of Purpose The goal of our Youth Education program is to create a complete educational experience that goes beyond the scope of a 50 minute Sunday school class and impacts the lives and lifestyles of the participants through:

• Building a support group consisting of the participants peers

• Growing the participants life of faith

• Encouraging each participant to be an active member of his or her community

• Learning about the Heart of God

• And gaining a vision for the future

Building a Support Group: We have found that the first and most basic goal of a good Youth Education System is to build a sense of identity and community. Furthermore, we believe that such an education system should grow to become a second family for its participants, and become a place where its participant can come and find the help they need to overcome life’s many struggles. Furthermore, such a community should be a place where the participants feel loved, and through this love feel their true value as true sons and daughters of God.

The Divine Principle teaches us that a human beings basic emotional makeup is comprised of three basic and distinct groups; these being emotion, intellect, and will. As such, we strongly believe that a vibrant youth education system should strive to target and fulfill each of these three areas.

The reason for this is because it has been our observation that the things that draw people away from God usually begin from a weakness in one’s emotions, intellect, or will, and in order to protect the youth within our movement we believe that a good Youth Education

The Tongil Manual 9

System should foster the emotion, intellect, and will of its participants. By doing so a good we believe that an education system not only protects its members against spiritual attacks, but becomes a place where the youth come to seek guidance about the issues that they deal with every day.

The first of these three primary human aspects is emotion, and it has been our experience that most young people get their emotional needs met by their families and friends. This emotional support, guidance, and advice which is given to the youth by their peer groups pushes them in a multitude of directions, some of which are good, and others of which are not so good.

It is a fact of life that everyone goes through hard times. These difficult times seem much harder during the tumultuous years of high school. When young people are confronted with these struggles they need a place where they can go to find support. If they cannot find this support in their family or church they will seek it from less ideal sources, such as outside friends, TV, and popular culture.

A perfect example of this is what happened with my older brother’s first matching. When his match wanted to break the matching she went to her friends at school and asked them for advice on how to break off her relationship. This of course was less than ideal because her friends did not try to help her discover if this matching was good for her or not, but instead just gave her advice on how to dump a guy she had grown tired of.

This example hopefully shows why having a good peer group where one can go to find healthy advice is so important. The creation of a more ideal culture where participants can find love is what we call a support group or a community, and we believe that it is the job of educators to help their students create or incorporate themselves into one.

Growing their Life of Faith: The second goal of the Youth Education System is to help its participants develop a life of faith. For those who have a yearning for the truth, it should give them the answers they seek, and for those participants with no yearning, it should instill within them a desire to learn.

This is of course a very difficult task because the high school years are the years of rebellion, the time when youth become disenfranchised with the world, and disappointed in the results they see around them. This in turn usually leads them to question the values of traditional society, and hopefully starts them on the path to seeking answers to the most important questions in life. This journey that starts in adolescence will likely guide the students for the

The Tongil Manual 10

rest of their lives, and as such it is the responsibility of the Youth Education System to give its participants the answers they need, and to teach them the skills required to find the answers that teacher’s as educators cannot directly supply.

This is vital because it focuses on fulfilling the second aspect of a person’s psychological makeup; intellect.

Human beings seem to have an almost intrinsic need to understand, to ask questions, and gain a grasp of the reality around them. If this need is not met by a young person’s family, church, or culture, they seem to seek the answers to these questions in other possibly less ideal places.

More importantly intellect acts as a guide post, a way to judge between right and wrong actions. As people grow they take the intellectual and emotional answers that they have been given (and agree with) and then use this intellect (conscious) and conscience (sub-conscious) to keep themselves from making mistakes.

This being the case, we believe that a good Youth Education System should provide for its participants the tools to construct a conscience that will push those participants to become heavenly individuals, and gain a strong grasp of the principle so that the youth can use that understanding to know what to do when confronted with a difficult situation. The growth upon this path is what we call the building of a life of faith.

Becoming part of the Community: The third goal of a Youth Education System is to graduate its members on to a higher level. Just as young people graduate from high school and go on to attend college, then graduate from college to find their place in the working world, participants in a Youth Education System should be able to graduate from the system into the larger church community.

We believe that if this does not occur then a rift will form, which is plainly evident in today’s church society through the relationships between the “young people” and the “old people”, or the “1st Generation” and the “2nd Generation.”

It has been our observation that the many of the youth do not respect their elders, and in turn many of the elders do not see the youth as upcoming peers. The direct side effect of this rift is that the knowledge gained, and the hard work done by the older members, is not inherited by the younger members. When this happens, all that hard work is lost and benefits that were gained through the sacrifice of the elder members is not inherited.

The Tongil Manual 11

A second and less obvious reason for graduating an education systems participant’s into the larger church community finds its root in the third aspect of a person’s psychological makeup; primarily the aspect of will.

While will can mean many things, we interpreted it as the desire for action, and any good education system should not only teach its members, but instill within them the desire to do the things that they have been taught. In the case of our movement, the participants should want to help build the kingdom of heaven, and should feel within themselves the desire to want to attach themselves to the movement as a whole in order to help bring about this better world.

Learning about the Heart of God: The fourth goal is perhaps the most important responsibility of a Youth Education System and is certainly the hardest to put into words.

This goal is to instill within the students a fundamental understanding of the heart of God. The reason why we think this is so important is because we believe that when all else is gone, the one thing that can continue to inspire an individual is his or her dreams. It has been our observation that the difference between a normal person and an incredible person is the size of their dreams. Normal people dream of small things, like a nice car or job, while great people dream of great things, like an ideal world or a world of equality for all races.

It is our opinion that the greatest dream of all is God’s dream, which can thought of as God’s hope at creation, His heart for restoration, His dream of an ideal world, and His deep and abiding love for His children. To this end, we feel that a good Youth Education System should help its participants understand the longing heart of God, and encourage its participants to inherit God’s dream. Once this is done, we believe that a good Youth Education System should then give its participants the tools and desire to make that dream a reality.

Gaining a Vision for the Future: The final goal listed in this section for a Youth Education System is to give its participants a vision for the future. We believe that this goal is important because the conclusion of a Youth Education System should not the end point, but rather a launching-pad. The men and women that graduate from the education system should move on to greater and more beautiful things and it is the job of any good education system to give its participants not only the tools to succeed but the vision as well.

This vision can be broad or narrow, but it we feel that it must exist.

The Tongil Manual 12

We define a narrow vision as something that is specific to the individual members of the education system. This might include getting a student an internship with the regional chapter of WFWP, or supporting them so they can start a HARP/CARP in their local schools.

A broad vision is something that everyone can relate to, such as building a lasting community, or making the world a place where they would want to raise their children.

Ideally a good vision should be a little bit of both.

If this vision is not imparted onto the youth, then we have seen that they tend to graduate and flounder, not knowing what they should be doing or what they could have become.

The Tongil Manual 13

Goals and Responsibilities

The Tongil Manual 14

Goals and Responsibilities of a Teacher We believe that Sunday school teachers should try to see themselves as instruments through which God and good spirits can work. This is because a teacher is the vehicle for growth for his or her students, and in many cases acts as a role model that heavily influences in what ways a student may grow. Through the course of our years of teaching experience we have seen that students look up, admire, respect, and mimic the teachers that they respect.

Since we have seen this to be the case we have tried to put together a list of what an aspiring teacher can do in order to become not only a teacher that students respect, but one that guides his or her students in the best possible direction. This list includes:

• Be a role model

• Know the subject

• Stay Aligned

• Teach what students need

• Do not judge the participants

• Do not forget about the community

Be a Role Model: A man by the name of Rev. T.L. Berret once said, “You cannot lead where you will not go, and you cannot teach what you do not know.” To us this simple quote holds the reason why being a role model is so important.

To add to this, True Father has often said that one must change oneself before changing the world. We think that father says this because we have noticed that a person cannot teach someone to be great if they themselves are mediocre. Likewise, a teacher cannot teach about how to live a good life of faith unless they actually have a life of faith.

In essence, what we are trying to say is that the first step to being a great teacher is to be a great person.

The Tongil Manual 15

There are two reasons for this: the first is because when someone teaches something, the knowledge that they call upon comes from within them self. If that knowledge does not exist within them, then they cannot properly teach it and the best they can hope to do is parrot the words of others. The second reason is because what students learn is not simply what a teacher says, but what a teacher does.

For the most part, our experience has been that most of the things that we have taught about have flown into the heads of our students, banged around for a bit, and promptly flown out the other ear. However, the way we taught and the kinds of things we did were remembered much more readily.

In short, by modeling the right kinds of actions we believe that teachers can give an example for their students to follow and in so doing they encourage students to take the abstract concepts taught in the class room and make them a tangible reality.

Besides, nobody likes a hypocrite.

We believe that if this one concept is taken to heart then even the most mediocre presentations can change the lives of a teacher’s students because by becoming role models teachers can show their students that the words they teach are not just abstract concepts, but real and viable answers.

Know the Subject: The second responsibility of a youth educator is to know the topic they are teaching about.

As mentioned earlier, when someone teaches they share knowledge from within themselves. Things that they have learned, digested, and incorporated into their being. In this sense the act of teaching is really the act of taking things that have been digested and giving them to others in the hope that it will help them.

Since this is the case we believe that the prerequisite to teaching is to learn and incorporate knowledge into oneself, and this requires study, research, prayer, thought, and time.

Our experience has been that when a teachers does not spend enough time preparing for their presentations they do not only make themselves look bad, but they show their students that they do not value them because if they really cared for their students then they would take the time to prepare what was being taught.

The Tongil Manual 16

Worse still, when one fails to understand what one teaches our experience has been that others fail to understand it as well. This can cause huge problems because if a student cannot find answers from his or her teacher, he or she may look for those answers in other, probably less ideal, places.

To summarize this concept, if an education system cannot educate its youth then those youth are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past because we as educators have failed to instruct them of how to avoid those pitfalls. In order to help our young students we as teachers need to prepare each lesson well, and understand the heart and value of things we teach.

Stay Aligned: Staying aligned is what we consider to be the third responsibility of an educator, and from personal experience we know how hard this can be. Of all of the responsibilities listed here, this is perhaps the one that the most educators struggle with, and yet is one of the most vital because it keeps a system from falling apart.

The reason why is because a teacher is part of a larger entity, a part of an organization whose purpose is to breathe life into its participants. This of course is easy to forget, especially when an education system is small and understaffed, but none-the-less essential because remembering what a teacher is a part of helps to keep a teacher’s vision aligned, and helps to keep all the other components of the education system working harmoniously together.

When all an educator focuses on is his or her class then it is easy to forget where that class fits in to the overall picture.

More importantly, we as educators are the front line for helping the second generation understand their faith. In some cases we are not only the front line, but we are the only line that a youth has to find their connection to the movement, and to God.

As educators this makes us the hands or feet, and the nerves that send signals to us are our central figures. Keeping to this analogy, when the muscles on the hand flex, the nerves in the arm report that action to the brain. Inversely, when the brain wants to pick something up, it tells the muscles in the hand and relies on the hand to pick that something up.

Porting this analogy to the real world, when God needs to convey something to His children, we as mentors are often times the ones He comes to. If we are not aligned then not only is it

The Tongil Manual 17

easier to miss what God is trying to say, but it also easier to miss what God is trying to tell us through others (especially our Abel figures.)

For this reason it is important to keep aligned internally with the heart of God, and externally with one’s regional director or local pastor.

Teach What Students Need: The fourth responsibility of a teacher is to teach what a student needs. At first glance this may seem fairly obvious, but after teaching for several years we have learned that this is much harder than it seems. To make things worse we sometimes catch ourselves falling into what we liked to call “teach mode.”

Teach mode is when an educator teaches something simply because he or she knows it, and not because the student needs to hear it. An example of this might be one time when we taught about the different personality types just because we thought it was interesting. In essence what we did was forget why we were teaching, and just taught because we thought it was fascinating. Often times to the bewilderment of our students, who did not care in the least about the different personality types.

Instead we think that teachers should teach because their students need to learn. This of course is more difficult because it forces the teacher to constantly learn and question, but it is ultimately more fulfilling for the students.

If the students need to learn about the Purpose of Creation, then it is the responsibility of the teacher to teach about the Purpose of Creation. If a teacher’s students need to hear about what a Messiah is, then it is a teacher’s responsibility to find out what a Messiah is, and teach that to his or her students.

We cannot emphasize enough the importance of not forgetting that the purpose of teaching is to raise little gods and goddesses who can become true parents, which is another way of saying that we as teachers need to raise students to reach their full potential as God’s children. As such, a teacher is ultimately accountable to God, and then to their students.

Practically what this means is that a teacher must keep an open mind when developing lesson plans and curriculum’s, and be willing to modify, add, or throw out lessons as needed. Furthermore, if as a teacher one does not know enough about the subject that needs to be taught it is up to a teacher to find a guest speaker or lecturer that does.

The Tongil Manual 18

Not Judge the Participants God does not judge people, Satan does. This simple truth should be enough of a reason in and of itself to not judge ones students.

If this is not enough, then think of this: when someone judges someone else what they are doing is creating a barrier between them and the person they are judging. This barrier is forged by pain caused the victim by the failure to love them as is their right (we have found that in most ways judgment is a failure to love and accept others.) This barrier is built by the accused to block out the pain of being rejected and hated. A simple proof of this concept can be found in name-calling which is nothing more than a form of judgment.

Instead of judging, we would encourage a teacher to try and understand. Instead of seeing an action and labeling it as wrong, try to understand the forces behind that action. We believe that when one knows the purpose behind an action then one can support the person who made the action to make better actions in the future.

We have found that in doing this a teacher can create a connection with those they teach, which forms a bridge instead of a barrier. These bridges open the hearts of students, allowing them to trust and care for their teacher. This trust and care in turn acts as an amplifier which increases power of the words taught, and increases the likelihood of those words to make profound changes in a student’s life.

Not to forget about the community: The last point we will talk about in this section is the importance of not forgetting one’s community. There are many reasons for this, and the first is that it helps to keep a teacher from getting burned out.

From our observations what we have seen is that when an environment, especially a teaching one, gets very difficult people either quit, or put down their head and smash into whatever barrier is in their way. The problem with both of these solutions is that it forgets to try and find help from the local community.

As teachers we know that some people like to think of themselves as tanks, unstoppable forces that never quit or rests. The problem thought is that no matter how much people wish this was true the reality is that people are people, and they often do need the help others, and the guidance of those that have gone before them.

The Tongil Manual 19

As people who have been teaching for more than a few years, we have noticed that this is a common trend among people. The problem with this trend is that it ignores the reality that people need one another, and for the sake of one’s students it is important to reach out for help when one really needs it.

The reality is that when teachers fail to seek the help of those around them, they usually end up becoming burned out and resentful, and this is never a good thing.

To keep this from happening it is important to find ways to involve the community in which one lives. There are three reasons for this. The first is that teaching is an incredibly heavy responsibility, and not one that should be shouldered by one person alone. The second is because by involving others in the class room it breaks down barriers between the members and generations within the movement by giving everyone chances to interact with one another.

The third reason is because other people have done and seen incredible things, and those people should be given the chance to share about those things to the youth so that the youth can learn from them. For example: one of the members of our church in Denver was a millionaire, twice. Both times he gave it all to the church. Another example is Yongil’s father: his father was a missionary to Israel for four years, studied to be a Rabi before joining the unification movement, and still prays in Hebrew.

These wellsprings of knowledge should not be forgotten, and their wisdom should not die with them. Try asking others to share the vast amount of knowledge they have acquired through the course of their lives. Having one of these adults give a morning service or testimony can be as beneficial to a teacher as it can be a teacher’s students.

In short, keeping the community involved in teaching the students helps because the community not only takes some of the burden from the teacher, but the community can then share itself with the students, which allows for wisdom and blessings to be passed on. The wisdom of this concept can perhaps more easily be seen in the old anecdote, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Our observation is that it really does take an entire church community to raise a child, not just one or two teachers.

For these reasons and more we strongly believe that one should not forget, or become detached, from the community that one lives and teaches in.

The Tongil Manual 20

The Tongil Manual 21

Before Creating a Curriculum It is our belief that one of the cores of any good Sunday school program lies in creating and teaching off of a Curriculum. With this being the case we would like to spend a good amount of time on how to create a Curriculum, how to find and research topics, and how to create individual lesson plans. This system of Curriculum building has worked well for us, and our hope is that by talking about how we create curriculums and lessons that we can offer some insight and help to first time teachers, or those who are just starting with, or inheriting a Youth Education System. At the very end of this manual one will even find worksheets that one can use to create lesson outlines and curriculum outlines. However, before going into these things we would first like to spend a little time talking about creating the kind of culture in which a curriculum can work.

One thing that experience has taught us in Colorado is that if the right kind of culture is not put into place, then information given in the class room falls on deaf ears. There is no better example of this for me than the classes I went to when I was growing up. During high school my parents moved our family to Colorado, and the Sunday school classes I attended were lecturers given by first generation. During these classes the older second generation would sit in the back of the classroom and goof off, make lots of inappropriate comments, and more or less disrespect the teacher because they hated the fact that they had to be there. The obvious side effect of this was that these second generation did not listen to the lectures, nor give the lecturers a chance.

We find that the kind of culture described above is not conducive to learning, and we found that before we could implement our system we needed to break the students out of this culture and move them towards a better one.

In order to do this we started off by doing something different, and explaining to the students that things were going to change. We found that when we started by talking with the students about the changes we wanted to implement that they were willing to give those changes a chance.

We then spent the first part of the year doing activities and lessons outside in a nearby park, just to change their expectations. Also, unlike in previous years, we spent the first few weeks just doing ice breakers and team building activities so that each participant got to know one

The Tongil Manual 22

another a little better. From there we naturally transitioned to activities directed towards teaching certain topics and discussions based upon those activities.

Through the course of that first year we found that as the students became more interested in the Sunday school classes we were teaching, we where then able to incorporate other lesson types such as testimonies, lists, and morning services (we will go more into these lesson types later).

As with all new programs however we did make quite a few mistakes along the way. For example we tried watching a movie for Sunday school, which not only made the students late for service, but put a number of them to sleep. However, by and large the students found the new system much more enjoyable than the older system and were willing to pay attention to the classes we gave.

Furthermore, by consistently treating our students as young adults we not only added a layer of accountability but started to create a level of trust and care that would eventually lead us to create a system where those very students would end up teaching some of the classes just two years later.

In essence, what we have found was that the transition from an old Sunday school program to a new one is hard, but it is something that should be considered in order to make sure that the new system is well received. Once the system has been in place for a year or two we have found that the students have a higher chance of graduating into the class and inheriting a more positive culture from their older brothers and sisters.

In fact, we have found that this model was so effective that we actually start each academic year with ice breakers and team building activities. Once we feel that there is enough trust and care between students and staff we then move on to the curriculum itself.

The Tongil Manual 23

What is a Curriculum? This manual defines a curriculum as a collection of lessons that center around a central idea or topic for a set period of time. At first glance one may think that the best period of time for a curriculum would be a standard school year, however we have found that this is not the case. Instead, we normally plan for a monthly or bi-monthly curriculum. We have found that shorter curriculums work better because the needs of our students change, and by having short curriculums we find it much easier to modify our lessons to fit the needs of our students. The size of the curriculum really does not matter however, it is simply a tool used to help organize the lessons that are being planned and taught.

It is our belief that when a teacher holds to strongly to a predefined period of time for their curriculum they usually end up falling into one of two classic blunders. The first is trying to cram too much information into a short period of time, the side effect of which is that the students get only a fraction of what they could because of information overload. The second is trying to stretch a small amount of information into a long period of time, which tends to leave the students bored and unresponsive, the natural side effect of which is that the students do not learn as much as they could.

Our experience is that the real trick to making a good curriculum is to make it just long enough to teach everything that needs to be taught at the right speed. If this takes half a year, then design a semester curriculum, and if this takes two weeks, then design a two week curriculum. As a rule of thumb we find that the best way that one can find the proper length of a curriculum is to map out all the lessons one needs to teach to properly convey the information one wants to present and then set a time period based upon the number of lessons.

While we did create an example curriculum that takes the span of a year, we do not suggest this for new teachers or developing programs. Instead we suggest doing a two month curriculum centering on one or two broad topics. At the end of this shorter curriculum the teachers can meet and go over the strengths and weaknesses of what was taught, and make adjustments to the next two month curriculum.

The other benefit of a two month curriculum is that it allows for something a little more dynamic than a yearly curriculum. If changes need to be made, or if a lesson ends up taking multiple class periods, it does not affect the yearly plan because there is no yearly plan.

The Tongil Manual 24

Also, when a teacher creates a two month curriculum it lets that teacher meet every month with the rest of his or her staff and plan one month ahead, which in essence creates an overlapping two month curriculum that perpetually can redefine itself for the sake of its students.

For example: if we were to create an initial two month curriculum about survival skills for blessed children it would probably be comprised of eight individual lessons. After teaching this curriculum for one month we can then review how effective the first four lessons of our curriculum have been, and if need be make changes to the four remaining lessons. Furthermore, if we find that what we are teaching is very effective we may wish to expand on the curriculum by adding four more weeks of content. However, if we find that the topics we are presenting are not so effective we can scrap the four remaining weeks and create a whole new eight week (two month) curriculum for our class. Or we can do a mixture of the above.

In this way a teaching system can be both flexible and well organized.

For those teachers who would like to create a longer curriculum, we do not suggest doing all the planning for the curriculum at the same time. Instead, we suggest planning a strong yearly topic and planning two for four months of lessons at a time using the leap-frog approach mentioned in the previous paragraphs.

We suggest this because we have found that having a strong missions statement (or statement of purpose) for the year it makes it easier to create smaller monthly or bi-monthly segments to the year-long curriculum.

In any case, the period of time is flexible and should conform to teach the information as best as possible. Shrinking and growing the time period happens all the time, and even curriculum topics may change quickly. For example, it has been our experience that when we are teaching a class we may say something and realize that what we just said would make a great lesson topic that our students need to learn about, and by having an adaptive system it makes it easier to re-arrange classes so that this new topics can be brought into the program.

Overall, the one thing that should not change too much is the overall goal or mission statement of the Youth Education System. The idea being that as long as the correct alignment within the program stays in place, then everything else can change without fear of corruption.

The Tongil Manual 25

As will be stressed time and time again, the tools given in the manual are and should always stay in the object position to the information being taught. If one finds that things need to change, then please change them.

In general we believe that each lesson or curriculum can change as long as they are replaced with lessons or curriculums that better guide the students towards the end goal of the education system (in our case building one family, and one world, under God.)

The Tongil Manual 26

How to Organize a Curriculum? We believe that the organization of a curriculum is really a backwards process. Instead of starting with a period of time, we think it best to start with a topic, and then see how many lessons it takes to teach that topic. In the case of the yearly curriculum, we decided with the concept of ‘Back to Basics’ because we saw a large disconnect in the youth between the foundation they need and the foundation they had. Then, when designing each segment of the curriculum, we chose a sub-topic and planned as many lessons as we needed for that sub- topic.

Our experience is that yearly topics should be broad, sub-topics should be less broad, and individual lessons should be very specific. In this way a yearly topic should contain several sub-topics, and each sub-topic should contain several lessons.

However, this setup is purely structural, and as our movement teaches, culture must drive structure. If our system does not fit with the curriculum one is attempting to design then feel free to use a different system. Regardless of what system a teacher decides to adopt, we strongly believe that the topic for the curriculum should be open ended enough to those involved to be able to use it as a launching pad for individual lessons.

Furthermore, a good topic is not just a sentence. It should be a broad topic that is described in detail so that when creating lessons the topic and topic description can be used as a guide post for the individual lessons. It may help to think of this topic as a mission statement and the description as a longer work that describes the purpose and idea behind the mission statement.

Some topics we have done in the past include:

• Life of Faith

• Understanding the Core Values

• Back to Basics

• DP for Dummies

In order to get a better grasp of what a topic description can be like, please feel free to briefly move ahead to the Example Curriculum section and read the page long topic description for the Back to Basics example curriculum.

The Tongil Manual 27

Once a topic and topic description are in place then the sub topics and individual lessons act as stepping stones into the direction of the yearly topic. If one were to use an analogy to explain this concept then the best comparison might be the idea of a staircase. The yearly topic would be at the very top of the staircase, and the individual lessons would be the steps that the students must tread to reach an understanding of the yearly topic. In this way creating a lesson plan is very similar to creating an individual lesson (which we will go into some depth about later.)

One method that we use when trying to figure out what lessons should be taught is by starting with what the students know, and deciding what it is they should know. These two points are like two X’s on a map, and the curriculum is like the path that connects these two points.

As mentioned earlier, the purpose of this over arching topic is that of a guide, and if this is not firmly established at the start of the curriculum then the classes may end up seeming disjointed and unorganized. Furthermore, even if each individual lesson is perfect the year itself may still come off as haphazard and unorganized because the lessons do not follow a central theme or chain of logic. The most probably effect of this is that the participant’s growth may be stunted because they will not be able to learn as much as they possibly could.

Once this over-arching objective and yearly topic is set, then the next thing we think a teacher should do is go into the actual parts of the curriculum, these sub-groups become important because they are the sub-topics of the curriculum. For example, in the yearly topic for “Back to Basics” some of the sub-topics include:

• Does God Exist? (How do we know?)

• Spirit World

Indemnity & Conditions

Each of these sub-topics is then further broken down into multiple Sunday school sessions. For example, in the sub-topic of Indemnity & Conditions we choose to do the following four individual sessions:

1. What really is Indemnity?

The Tongil Manual 28

2. Indemnity vs. Indumbnity

3. Goal setting and Conditions

4. Setting up proper Indemnity Conditions

These individual lessons in turn can span multiple classes. For the sake of simplicity we choose to make all of the lessons in the example curriculum single class sessions. We did this for two reasons. The first is that it is our experience that it is easier to organize a fifty minute lesson then a one hundred minute lesson. The second is that there is a seven day break between the two parts of the lesson, and a lot can change and be forgotten in seven days.

In addition this way of breaking down a curriculum allows multiple people to be involved in the writing and teaching of the curriculum. The idea being that if all the teachers know the purpose/topic of the curriculum they can effectively create a sub-topic or lesson that fit with the overall mission of the curriculum.

Once again we would like to stress to the reader that the purpose of this setup is purely organizational. We have found that the above system helps us to keep things organized and lets things flow more smoothly, and hence we are attempting to share it with our larger church community.

To help with the process of mapping out a curriculum we have created a very basic form that can be found at the end of the book.

The Tongil Manual 29

How to Create Individual Lessons After creating a basic outline for a curriculum the real work of putting those basic topics into viable lessons begins. The difficulty here is that each teacher has his or her own way of coming up with lessons and his or her own way of teaching those lessons, and while we respect that each teacher should find what works best for them we would like to share our insight in creating lessons for those who would like to know how we do it. Please be advised thought that this methodology that we employ is entirely structure and should not be driving the culture of one’s Youth Education System. It is an organizational tool, and should not be thought of as anything different.

When we begin working on a lesson we like to start with one or two questions that we want the students to be able to answer by the end of the lesson, we call these basic questions takeaways.

The reason why we usually do not pick more than one or two questions is because our experience has taught us that our students have a limited attention span, and we have found that the more information we attempt to cram into a lesson, the less likely our students are to get each of the points we talked about. This of course will change from class to class, and each teacher must find out what works best for them, but we have found that when we go over more than one or two topics the retention of our students start to degenerate.

For example: if we were to create a lesson plan for the lesson “What Really is Indemnity?” we would probably want our students to be able to answer the questions: “What are the phases of Indemnity?”, “What is Indemnity?”, and “Why is Indemnity Important?”

These questions then become the end point, or the first of the two X’s on our map. Once we have defined our ending point we must then decide on how much knowledge our students already posses, and this then becomes our starting point. As we stated above, we like to use the analogy of a map because in order to get anywhere on a map one needs at least two points; a starting point and an end point. The act of teaching can then be thought of as leading one’s students on a journey from the point of ignorance (the starting point) to the point of knowledge (the end point).

There are many ways to find out how much information a student already has in regards to a topic. The simplest of these is to of course ask them. In some cases it is best to ask the students when one is starting to organize the lesson and in other times the best time to ask is

The Tongil Manual 30

during the lesson itself. In general we believe that when one has a lot of knowledge and when one is very comfortable with the material being taught then the best place to ask the question is during the class, however when one is creating a lesson about a topic where research is required then it may be smarter to ask before the class begins.

Another simple way to get a basic understanding of the knowledge level of a group of students is to make an educated guess based upon one’s previous experience with people of that general age and education. For example, we think that we can probably safely assume that the participants in our high school level Sunday school class are church members with a basic understanding of the Divine Principle.

A third way to get an idea of where a student’s level of understand is may be to give them a test, quiz, or simple survey.

When none of these above methods is applicable then we suggest starting from the very beginning and trying to explain things in such a way that a total novice would be able to understand.

Once a firmer understanding of the lesson’s starting point has been discovered then the lesson itself becomes the journey to bring the students from where they are to where we want them to be.

For this example lesson we will assume that our students have no idea about what indemnity is. Since this is the case we must first start our lesson by defining the term Indemnity for them. For example, we might start by explaining that Indemnification in legal terms is the process of restitution in order to bring a victim back to the state before a crime, or we may put it in simpler terms by saying that Indemnity is what our movement calls the actions required in order to gain forgiveness for some transgression, sin, or action that caused someone pain.

This of course must be followed by an example. Something like: “If you have a car you really like, and I break one of the windows on it, you’re naturally going to get mad at me. The anger comes because I did something that hurt you and I broke something you cared about. In order to remove the resentment I need to do something to show you that I am sorry, and then I need to do something in order to replace the window. So I would first sincerely apologize, and then offer to pay for replacing the window. Once I have done this (and if I actually go through with replacing the window) you will hopefully forgive me. This process is what we call Indemnity.”

The Tongil Manual 31

From here we would probably explain that there are basic categories when it comes to indemnity, these being Lesser, Equal, and Greater Indemnity. We would then follow by giving an example of each, for example: “After I break your car window I offer to replace it. Being the nice person you are, you just forgive me and tell me that I don’t need to replace it. This is lesser indemnity. If, when I offer to replace the window, you decide that the replacement is a fair price I am paying equal indemnity. However, if you hate me and ban me from every touching your car again I may have to buy you a new car, or spend years apologizing to you in order to regain your trust. This is greater indemnity.”

With the types of indemnity clearly explained we can now go into the process of how indemnity works.

According to the Divine Principle indemnity has four distinct phases:

1. Midway Position

2. Foundation of Faith

3. Foundation of Substance

4. Foundation to Receive the Messiah

The first step in the process of Indemnification is to understand that one is in a midway position. This is important because it is in realizing that one has done something wrong that one gains the desire to undo the damage caused by ones wrong doing. Once this desire is in place a person can then lay a foundation of faith, which is an act that proves ones sincerity and willingness to want to fix the problem. Upon successfully completing a foundation of faith, then one must complete a foundation of substance. A foundation of substance is an act that substantially indemnifies the problem. This is finally concluded by a foundation to receive the messiah, which in this case is the receiving of forgiveness.

This of course is a bit too dry in its current form, so we will have to make it a little easier to understand by adding examples to each step. To go back to our example with the broken window, “Before I have any desire to fix the window I broke in the earlier example, I must first feel bad about having broken the window. Once I recognize my sin then I must create a foundation of faith by proving my sincerity. When I broke the window of the car you felt hurt. This pain acts a barrier between you and me, and until I somehow overcome this barrier you will not let me help you. In this case simply apologizing may be enough, but then again it may

The Tongil Manual 32

not. I may have to actually offer to replace the window before the pain is bypassed and I am given a chance to fix my mistake.

After proving my sincerity I then have to do something in order to fix the mistake I made. I actually have to go back and replace the broken window for you. This is what we call the foundation of substance.

Once I have fixed the window you will naturally forgive me. In this case Indemnity is said to have been paid.”

These examples hopefully open a doorway for the students to give examples from their own lives where they had to indemnify something. After a couple of examples from the students we may wish to end our presentation and start with a discussion based upon what we talked about. In this discussion we would probably start by asking our “takeaways.” These questions could then be followed by questions that relate to the topic and help the students to really understand the topic.

For example, we might ask: In the case of broken window, who sets the price of restitution?

The answer was not given in the presentation, and it forces the students to use a little common sense. Some may think the owner of the car, but they are wrong because the one who broke the window must agree to the price. If both parties are not satisfied then there is room for remaining guilt and resentment.

The students may figure this out, and they may not. We believe that as instructors we should attempt to guide our students to answer the question instead of answering those questions for them. This not only gives our students a sense of accomplishment and a feeling of ownership over the answer, but it hopefully helps them to learn the tools needed to answer other similar questions that they may run into in the future.

So, to summarize:

1. Every lesson should have a distinct starting and ending point. The starting point is where the students currently are in their knowledge, and the end point is a series of questions we would like our students to be able to answer.

2. Once we have a basic idea of where our students are and where we want them to be, we can then start designing our lesson.

3. The lesson itself (in this case: “What Really is Indemnity?”) may look like this:

The Tongil Manual 33

a. Define Indemnity & Give an example to make it more understandable

b. Briefly talk about the three types of Indemnity (Lesser, Equal, Greater.)

c. Talk about the four phases of indemnity.

d. Give examples, and ask for examples in order to help the students understand the clear and simple process.

e. Have a discussion

4. During the discussion the questions might be:

a. What are the four phases of Indemnity?

b. How does Indemnity work? Do you have any personal examples?

c. In the example of the car window, who decided if Indemnity has been paid?

d. Why is Indemnity important?

Appendix A goes into some depth about how to lead a group discussion, but essentially the job of a discussion leader is that of a moderator because as a moderator one should not seek to answer all of the questions as they come up, but help guide the others to answer the question themselves. If the students really cannot figure out the answer, then it is ok to come in and explain the concept further.

The Tongil Manual 34

Types of Lessons It has been our experience that the next step in constructing an individual lesson is to take the lesson plan created in the previous section and convert it into an actual class. We have found that this process is surprisingly difficult because it is not always so easy to find interesting ways to convey the knowledge in a lesson plan, which in our experience leads to an overuse of lectures and an underuse of other teaching methods.

Over the course of several years we have found that the best way to get around this problem is through the use of templates. In this case a template is an outline for a class that a teacher can plug information into, and then use as an actual lesson. These basic lesson types are not written in stone, and are easily adaptable. In fact we encourage teachers to modify anything in this text and figure out what works best for them.

The templates that we generally use are:

1. Ice Breakers

2. Team Building

3. Breakout Groups

4. Puzzle Groups

5. Morning Services

6. Presentations

7. “The List”

8. Actionizing

9. Activities

Before going into what each of these lesson types is, we would like to give one word of caution.

When using a lesson type for the first time we have found that it is incredibly important to have some kind of demonstration beforehand. We say this because when we first started introducing these lesson types into our class rooms the students would get confused and spend the first two or three lessons asking us to repeat what they were supposed to do.

The Tongil Manual 35

Since then we have found that by running a demonstration for our students before using a lesson helps the students pick up what they are supposed to do much more quickly. Often times within minutes instead of weeks.

For example, the first time we did a Breakout Group we explained to the students that they were supposed to break into groups and have a discussion were they wrote down the key points, and then we had the students break up into groups and have their discussion. Then, every few minutes or so, one or two of the groups would send a representative to ask us what the questions were, or what they were supposed to be doing in these groups. In fact, it took them also three weeks to really get how to do a Breakout Group well.

About half a year later we introduced a new lesson type called a Puzzle Group, however unlike with the Breakout Groups we did a small demo to show the students what they were going to be doing. The end result of this was that the students almost immediately knew what to do, even though the idea behind a Puzzle Group was quite a bit more complicated than the one behind a Breakout Group.

In short, we found that by running a demonstration before introducing a new lesson type we removed a lot of potential headaches.

Ice Breakers The Ice Breakers are one of the only parts of a curriculum that are more or less independent of a curriculum’s topic. They are not meant to educate the students, but rather create an environment that is conducive to future education.

At the start of each new academic year new students will be entering the class, and these youth will understandably feel at least a little shy and out of place. In Colorado we use Icebreakers to help each participant break down these barriers. They give everyone a chance to have fun and get to know one another at the same time.

We have found that if these barriers are not removed then the students do not generally feel comfortable sharing with one another later on.

The basic outline for a class whose focus is Icebreakers might looks like this:

Activity Relative Time Prayer to Start Introduction of Activity1 5 minutes Activity1 10 minutes

The Tongil Manual 36

Break 2-3 minutes Introduction Activity2 5 minutes Activity2 10 minutes Prayer and closing A comprehensive list of possible Icebreakers can be found in the second section of this book.

Teamwork and Bonding: In our curriculums Teamwork and Bonding usually follows Icebreakers, and is once again used to cultivate an atmosphere rather than teach a specific curriculum topic. The purpose of the Teamwork and Bonding is to help foster a sense of trust and understanding between students, and we believe this to be important because we have found that before most people can share deeply about personal feelings they need to build a certain level of trust with those they are going to share with. We try to use these teambuilding and bonding activities to foster this trust.

During Icebreakers, everything is done as a class. However, during the Teamwork and Bonding everything is usually done in smaller teams. This has two benefits:

1. It allows the members to get used to teams, since these are often used in larger classes.

2. It allows for a smaller environment where it is easier for people to express what they think and feel.

We suggest spending 2-3 weeks at the start of the academic year on these types of classes. In general, we have found that it is best to try and make the Icebreakers and Teamwork and Bonding about a month long. This number is just a suggestion though. If you feel that more time is needed, please take it.

The other important thing to remember is that these weeks should be activity oriented. We say this because while sharing is a great way to bond, we find that it must come on the foundation of having done something together.

Once again, a list of suggested teamwork activities can be found in the second part of this book.

A class about Teamwork and Boding might look something like this:

Activity Relative Time

The Tongil Manual 37

Prayer to Start Introduction of Activity 5 minutes Activity 20-30 minutes Break 2-3 minutes Discussion 15 minutes Prayer and closing

Breakout Groups: The basic idea behind Breakout Groups is the concept of self-teaching, which is when a group of students more or less teach one another.

We like this emphasis on self-teaching because when we first started teaching high school classes we would spend fifty minutes talking only to later realize that there is a huge rift in the knowledge level of the students. When we geared our presentations towards the newer members, the older members would get bored because they had heard it before, and when we gave a presentation for the older members, the younger members would give us blank stares because they were not yet at a level where they could understand what we were talking about.

So, we figured that it might be a good idea to let the older students who have heard the basic content before teach it to the newer students. This was the first realization behind the formation of breakout groups. Then, about two years after we took over the teaching of the Sunday school we realized that most of these students already knew most of what we were talking about.

They deal with the issues we talk about in Sunday school every day of their lives, and they have either triumphed over them or failed to overcome them. It has been our experience that the older students usually have the experience that the younger students need, so we decided to give the older students the opportunity to share their knowledge.

The general idea is that each student has something valuable to share. Some have experienced firsthand the fall of man in either their lives or the lives of their friends, others really know about God and Spirit World, and still others have deep and moving experiences with the heart of a sibling or parent. This of course does not mean that the students are ready to stand up and teach the class, but it does mean that they usually do have some insights that they are able, and if the culture is right, willing to share.

The Tongil Manual 38

In order to share these insights breakout groups use a system of guided discussion, which since their introduction have become the mainstay of any curriculum we teach. (For those who would like to read it, Appendix A goes into more depth on how to lead such a discussion.)

After doing these breakout groups for a while we have come up with this basic outline:

Activity Relative Time Prayer to Start Introduction of Topic 5 minutes Discussion by Team 20-30 minutes Break 2-3 minutes Discussion as Class 15 minutes Prayer and closing

Since Breakout Groups are a mainstay of our education system we would like to go into some more depth about each of the phases of a normal Breakout Group class.

1. Teacher gives the topic.

a. In breakout groups the job of the teacher is to set the tone and to give the groups some basic questions or ideas to work with. The idea is not to teach the topic in its complete form, but rather give the groups a little something so they can share about what they have experienced relating to that topic.

2. The class breaks up to discuss the topic

a. This step is only really applicable if the class is large enough to have more than one group. In general we find that when a group gets above ten people it becomes more difficult for each member to feel like they are a part of the discussion. With this being the case we suggest a group size of between six and ten participants. If the class is too small for a small group, or is close enough to do well in a large group discussion, then feel free to simply hold a large group discussion instead of breaking out into smaller teams. We will go into more detail about this later.

b. Once the topic has been given it then becomes the job of the instructor to get the answers out of the students. Basically the teacher tries to find the opinions

The Tongil Manual 39

of the students and find out why they feel the way they do by asking them questions. If the environment is right the discussion will take on a life of its own with very little coaxing from the instructor. If this is the case, then the instructor simply has to keep the conversation from going too far off topic.

c. If the students are little more hesitant then the instructor actually has to do more work. When we have a more frigid group we usually start out by asking one of the students what they think, then asking the other students what they think about the thoughts of the first student. For example: If we asked one of the students, “Why do you think God exists?” and if they answer “Because my parents told me so” we could then turn to the rest of the group and ask “What do you think? Do you believe in God because your parents told you so?” Hopefully someone will say “No”, at which point we can start over again by asking them, “Then why do you think God exists?”

d. We have found that in quieter groups the key questions to ask are, “Do you agree or disagree?” and “Why?” (When this is the case, make sure to paraphrase as to make sure that both you and everyone else know what the student means.)

3. At the end, sum everything up into a few key sentences.

Breakout Groups in Large and Small Environments In Colorado we had the unique experience of having two extremes during the formative years of our teaching system. For the first two years we had ten to fifteen students, at which point a small group discussion was the most effective. However, during the second half of our second year we had a large influx of students because a Second Generation school (the Blessed Teens Academy) moved into the area. In order to service the vastly increased class size (roughly thirty to forty students) we had to form teams for our breakout groups. These teams were about 5-7 people, and had an elder second generation (one of the older high school students) as a team leader.

The Tongil Manual 40

After giving the topic the students would break out into their groups and discuss for about twenty minutes. At the end of the time they would come together and a representative would talk about what their team talked about, and the instructor and other students would have the opportunity to ask questions about it.

This of course is less than optimal, but it was the only thing we could do. We did not have enough staff to have two guided discussions at a time (due to a lack of teachers), which I think is the case with most Sunday Schools. This easy alternative does work, but if the class has enough staff for two guided discussions it is best to have an instructor for each group, then come together at the end and talk about what each group talked about.

Puzzle Group: The introduction of Puzzle Groups into the curriculum was done by Yongil Fleisher after finishing a college level Sociology course in which one of the sections covered unique approaches to education. One of the approaches covered in the course was the puzzle group.

The way a puzzle group works is that the lesson plan is broken into four or five pieces, then when the lesson starts the class breaks up into teams of four to five and each member of a team gets one part of the lesson. For example, if we were teaching a lesson that has four parts, then each team would ideally have four members, and if the lesson had five parts then each team would have five members. Once the teams are made then each member of the team is given a piece of the lesson, and is instructed to teach his or her part of the lesson to the rest of his or her team.

The beauty of this approach is that each member in the team becomes valuable because each student has something vital to add. At first this is a little hard because the teams need to get used to this approach, but when the students are comfortable with this approach knowledge retention goes up very quickly. Our experience has been that the students remember more because they are not just hearing the information, but they are teaching it. Not only are they teaching it, but they are supporting the other team members to teach their sections as well.

The big benefit to puzzle groups is that they can be used to teach complicated topics, which is something breakout groups are not so good for since breakout groups require a level of basic knowledge from the participants.

A basic lesson might look like this:

Activity Relative Time

The Tongil Manual 41

Prayer to Start Introduction of Topic 5 minutes Break into Teams 5 minutes Distribute Lesson 2 minutes Groups Teach / Discuss 30-40 minutes Amongst Themselves Prayer/Closing by Team

Morning Services: The problem with Breakout Groups and Puzzle Groups is that they are only truly applicable for certain types of lessons. It has been our experience that they are the best way to teach basic concepts such as the importance of prayer and the existence of God, but they are not so good if the topic being taught is more obscure.

For example, trying to hold a Breakout Group or Puzzle Group about ‘Indemnity vs. Indumbnity’ usually does not work so well because the concepts are just too high a level and the students usually don’t have the knowledge needed to teach or share about indemnity effectively. For this reason sometimes the best lesson type is a Morning Service.

A Morning Service is a presentation that ranges somewhere between fifteen minutes and half an hour that is followed by some sort of discussion or activity. This second part of a morning service is what distinguishes a Morning Service from a basic presentation because it brings in a component where the participants can have give and take with the material being taught.

In general, there are two basic types of Morning Services, informative and sharing.

1. An informative Morning Service is more or less a lecture about some topic, and why that topic is important to the audience. For example, a presentation about what indemnity is makes a perfect morning service because it starts with a presentation about indemnity that is followed by a discussion or activity to solidify the points brought up during the presentation.

2. A sharing Morning Service is more or less a testimony or sharing of personal experience about some topic, and why that topic is important both to the presenter and the audience. This second type of Morning Service normally covers how the presenter overcame a struggle, or how this knowledge helped them in their life of faith.

The Tongil Manual 42

This discussion can be done either in one large group or in smaller breakout groups depending on the class size and disposition.

The reason why we encourage the use of Morning Services is because it has been our experience that the struggles many of the students within a Sunday school go through are not all that different, and hearing about similar struggles from peers is a great way to help students overcoming their own problems. Furthermore, it lets students know that they are not alone in their struggles.

A Morning Service may look like this:

Activity Relative Time Prayer to Start Morning Service 20-30 minutes Discussion 20-30 minutes Prayer/Closing by Team

Later in the book we will talk about getting the youth involved in the Education System, and this is a great place to have those youth stand up and talk. Giving morning services not only helps them to become better public speakers, but it also gives them a chance to give advice to their peers, and to share something that is important to them.

Presentations As much a fan as we are of all of the above listed types of lesson types the reality is that sometimes none of them are a very good fit to the information that is trying to be conveyed. Sometimes, especially in the case of a longer Testimony or a guest speaker, there really needs to be just a longer presentation that takes the majority of the class period.

In a presentation the class sits and hears from an individual about a topic until the individual is done talking or until class time runs out. This basic setup has been the bread and butter of school systems both inside and outside of our movement and has a long track record of success (when done correctly.)

To this end, the difference between a presentation and a lecture is simply the name. In Colorado we have found that the term lecture holds a lot of negative baggage, so by calling it a different name we side step a good deal of resentment and bad experiences.

A basic presentation may look something like this:

The Tongil Manual 43

Activity Relative Time Prayer to Start Presentation 40-50 minutes Question and Answer 0-10 minutes Prayer/Closing by Team

The List The concept of teaching through a list finds its root in a basic pedagogical (teaching) technique of making a list. This phenomenon takes place when a teacher makes a list on a board in order to keep a flow of logic. For example: if a teacher was to talk about problems in the world they may, over the course of the presentation, list some of the problems that are prevalent I the world, such as: Hunger, Poverty, Pollution, Rape, and Murder.

Originally this list of five points came from me the teacher; however this list could just have easily come from the class. If one asks students what problems they see in the world they may list things such as Hunger, Poverty, Pollution, Rape, and Murder. The difference between this list and the list given by the teacher is that it involves the class, and as such usually has higher level of retention.

Like breakout groups and puzzle groups teaching based upon a list gains its power from the core concept of self-teaching. As mentioned earlier self teaching is when the members of the group teach themselves with a minimal amount of input from the instructor.

In this lesson type the moderator explains why a topic is important and gives a short talk about the history of the topic (usually no longer than 5 minutes.) For example: If we were to have one of our classes make a list about “The Do’s and Do not’s of Prayer” we might start by explaining that prayer is important because it is our primary mode for communicating with God. It not only helps people to align their thoughts and actions, but it also helps people find strength and encouragement when they are going through hard times. We could then go on to explain that while most people know why prayer is important, most people do not know a lot of the little things that make prayer easier or more effective. For example: some people sit down and fall asleep while praying or pray without ever taking the time to listen for a response.

As teachers we would then write these two things on a large piece of paper that has two columns on it (One column labeled Do’s and the other labeled Do Not’s.) Under Do’s we would write “Listen”, and under Do Not’s write “Fall Asleep.” Once my two contributions are on the paper (or board) we can then invite students to come up and write what they think are

The Tongil Manual 44

Do’s and Do Not’s of prayer. Sometimes I find it easier to just stay up and write what the students say, but this is purely person preference.

We find that the real key to having a successful List is not just making a list, but talking about each thing on the list. For this reason we suggest that students should explain why they are adding the things they want to add to the list. Just as with a discussion each topic becomes a doorway for a conversation. Unlike in a discussion a clear list is made so that everyone can always see the big picture.

As the class draws towards an end the moderator can add additional items, extrapolate on key points, and summarize everything into one or two clear statement. For example one might say, “When praying it is important to remember not to lie down, talk with friends, or fall asleep. Instead, try to have a clear goal for the prayer, and pray from the heart.”

This final summary is important because, like in a conclusion to a paper, it helps bring everything talked about into the right perspective.

A class making a list might look like this:

Activity Relative Time Prayer to Start Presentation 35-40 minutes Summarize List 5-10 minutes Prayer/Closing by Team

Also, as with a discussion, it is possible to do a list in smaller Breakout Groups. When employing the use of smaller teams for making lists we suggest that the teacher leave at least fifteen minutes towards the end of the class for individual groups to come up and explain the items that they wrote down on their lists.

Actionizing: Actionizing is a great way for student to put what they have learned into practice through actually doing what it is that they have talked about. Actionizing activities usually include things like outings, service projects, movies, or any other type of activity that strives to reinforce or teach a topic or point through actually doing it, or seeing it done.

Because of actionizing’s more liberal nature actionizing activities almost always take more than fifty minutes, and as such we do not usually do them during a Sunday school class. We

The Tongil Manual 45

have found that actionizing activities are best done in the summer or during the weekend because students usually have more time free during these times.

The key to a good actionizing activity is to make sure there is a concrete and clearly stated link between the activity and whatever it is the students are studying at the moment. For example: if in the previous classes the students have learned about the importance of creating a community, then having a carnival for the younger age groups is perfect for actionizing. Doing a community service project where everyone picks up trash is not.

To help get a feel for what this might look like, there is an example curriculum later in this chapter.

Activity An activity is a second type of experiential learning that we talk about in this manual, and as such is also aimed at teaching through doing. However, unlike an actionizing activity, a regular activity usually teaches through some level of abstraction, so instead of putting the students directly in a situation an activity tries to teach by creating a controlled environment that hopefully helps the students to learn one or more points through doing some activity that bears a resemblance to an otherwise more complicated scenario.

For example, in the “Candy Toss Game” students pair up and stand facing each other at a distance of about twenty feet. One student has a very small cup, and the other student has a small bag of M&M’s (or a similar type of candy.) The student with the candy then tries to throw the candy into the cup that the student across from them is holding, and each time he or she is successful the student holding the candy can take one step closer. The idea being that each time the student with the candy gets the candy into the cup it gets easier and easier to get the next candy into the cup because the students are closer together and the students have more practice.

The point of this game is that it shows the importance of doing something, like prayer, more than once. The idea being that the first time someone tries something it is usually at least a little hard, however the more they do it, the easier it becomes.

This basic idea from the activity can then be ported over to prayer because at first prayer is very difficult because people are not used to it and their mindsets are often times is not very aligned with God’s. However, the more people pray, the easier it becomes because for them not only because they are getting used to praying, but because they are getting closer to the

The Tongil Manual 46

divine. In this way teachers can show their students that when doing activities like prayer, the trick is to do it over and over again, and show them that the more they do it, the easier it gets.

Activities, unlike any other type of teaching tool, are a way to teach complex concepts through simple actions, which are really nothing more than metaphors. These metaphors often help students really understand things that they had heard before but never really grasped.

This is important because some things cannot be so easily expressed through actionizing or presentations. A great example would be trying to teach about the concept of hunger in third world countries. Talking about hungry children is nice but often ineffective because there is too large a gap between the situation in places like Africa and the homes of the students. Furthermore, flying everyone to Africa to see the starving children is not cost effective.

However, doing a one day fast or eating only a very small amount of food for several days teaches the student about the concept of hunger first hand. Once experienced it becomes easier to relate to the struggles of starving people.

Once there is an experience that gives the students some insight into the situation, suddenly discussions or lists based upon that topic can be seen in a new light. For this reason we stress that all activities should be followed by some form of guided discussion, even if this means stopping the activity prematurely.

The reason for this is because there is a level of abstraction between the activity and topic the activity is meant to illustrate. This abstraction means that it is not always so easy to put two and two together. For example, without explaining why students are doing a fast the students can come up with a wide variety of reasons for not eating.

In order for the activity to have the most impact possible we suggest that the students participate in a guided discussion that clarifies why the activity was done and which parts of the activity the students can take to understand a more abstract concept. For example, how the feelings of hunger are meant to help the students realize the kind of suffering the people in Africa go through every day.

Since this is a teaching method we use a lot we have included a small collection of activities organized by topic that can be found in the second half of this book (right after Icebreakers and Teamwork and Bonding). A regular activity might look like this:

Activity Relative Time

The Tongil Manual 47

Prayer to Start Explanation of Activity 5-10 minutes Activity 20-30 minutes Discussion 5-20 minutes Prayer/Closing by Team

Fitting a Lesson to a Lesson Type Now that we have talked about the types of lessons and how to go about creating a lesson plan we would like to spend some time talking about how to fit a lesson plan with a lesson type.

Just as with creating a curriculum, this too is a backwards process. Instead of taking the lesson type and filling in information, it is better to create a lesson plan then find a lesson type that coveys the information in a way that fits. We like to the analogy of clothing when it comes to lesson types because the lesson type is really the cloth that covers the information being presented. Just as with clothes, lessons can be ill-fitted to certain types of lessons, and can fit perfectly with other types of lessons.

For example, if we wanted to teach a class about “What to do, and what not to do while praying” we would probably start by sitting down and creating an outline for the class. This write up may possibly contain at least some portion with a list of things to do, and a list of things not to do while praying. From past experience we know that lists can be very effectively taught using the List lesson type.

Another example may be if we realize that our students are uncomfortable with one another. Since we know that Icebreakers help students to overcome discomfort we can use the Ice Breaker lesson type, and then look through the list in the second half of this book (or search the Internet) to find two icebreakers we can use.

In any case, we always start creating our lessons by finding out what it is that we want to teach. Once we know what we want to teach we then find a system to best convey whatever it is that we are planning to teach.

This of course mainly comes from experience, but since not everyone has this experience we have prepared a few bullet points for what each less type is good for.

The Tongil Manual 48

Choosing Lesson Plans Ice Breaking • Good for helping people get to know one another

• Usually 10-15 minutes long

• Lesson focusing on Ice Breakers usually has two or three ice breaker activities

Team Building • To help group cohesion and building trust

• Good for overcoming misconceptions about one another

• Usually 20-30 minutes, and often followed by a discussion

Breakout Groups • Guided discussion

• Useful for topics that people have experienced or have a good understanding of

Puzzle Groups • Self guided groups

• Useful for both advanced and basic topics

• Good for topics that are very concrete (such as history)

• Not good for topics that are not so concrete (such as dating vs. arranged marriages)

Morning Services • 20-30 minute presentation followed by a discussion

• Useful for concise messages, internal guidance, or short testimonies

• Very good as a non-threatening environment for students to practice public speaking

Presentations • 40-50 minute presentation, maybe followed by a Q&A Session

• Good for very advanced topics, and longer testimonies

The Tongil Manual 49

• We suggest using this sparingly

“The List” • Primarily used for areas where there is a list/array of possible answers

• Very good for right/wrong or comparison situations

• Not good in areas where the students have little or no knowledge

Actionizing • Often times used for activities that take more than one or two hours

• Experiential Learning that teaches through actually doing

• Very liberal organization, can be any activity that ties into the curriculum

Activities • Experiential Learning that teaches through metaphor

• Wonderful for youth groups or retreats

• Great for teaching key concepts that are hard to grasp intellectually without an example or some level of abstraction

• Also great for teaching concepts that would be too dangerous or expensive to teach through actionizing

Mixing Lesson Types While most lesson plans will naturally fit to one of the above lesson types, we realize that this is not always the case. In such situations we often find that a part of the lesson will fit to a lesson type, but then another part will not. For example: a morning service about great leaders may be better served with a list instead of a discussion at the end (listing either good/ bad qualities in leadership, or good/bad leaders.)

In such cases it is best to simply mix lesson types. As with any other tool talked about in this manual, lesson types are organizational tools. When they work, they should be used, and when they do not work, they should be dropped in favor of something that does.

The Tongil Manual 50

When Nothing Fits In a worst case scenario, if nothing on this list is any good then it may be best to try to create your own lesson type. This however is easier said than done, and can take many attempts before coming up with something concrete and usable.

We suggest going through the lesson plan step by step and looking for new and or interesting ways to express the concepts that are trying to be taught. For example, if a concept is best taught through watching brief clips of a movie which in turn are followed by discussions, then do a lesson plan with movie clips.

We ran a youth group session where we were trying to convey the power that small choices have in the long run. After going through the list of possible lesson types we found nothing that fit as well as we wanted, so we decided to do something different.

That week for the youth group we sat the students down, explained to them what we were going to do, and then started by watching a clip from a movie where someone makes a choice. At the critical point where the choice was made we would pause the clip and ask the students what they would do in this situation.

After a short discussion we showed the students what decision was made, and how it affected the lives of the people who made the choice.

At the end of the session we had a discussion about choices in our lives, and in history, and how even the smallest choices can have large implications in life.

The key to remember is that everything in a lesson type is geared towards conveying knowledge in the best way possible. If there is something that needs to be conveyed, and there is a good way to do it that is not on this list, then please use that new way.

The Tongil Manual 51

Example Curriculum One Yearly Topic: Back to Basics

Time Period: 9 Months (36 weeks)

Authors: Yongil Fleisher & Tomeo Wise

Icebreakers: • Week 1: Candy Toss and Telephone Charades

• Week 2: Guess Who and Name Balloon Pop

Team Building & Bonding: • Week 3: Human Knot and Lap Sit

• Week 4: Team Score Basketball and Back to Back

Breakout Groups/Lists/Activities: • Week 5: Explaining Breakout Groups

• Week 6: God – Does God Exist? How do we know?

• Week 7: God – What is He like?

• Week 8: Basics – Free Will and the Purpose of Creation

• Week 9: God – How can we Build a Relationship with God?

• Week 10: Prayer – What is Prayer?

• Week 11: Prayer – How do you pray? (Do’s and Don’ts of Prayer)

• Week 12: Spirit World – Does spirit world really exist? How do we know?

• Week 13: Spirit World – What really is a Spirit?

• Week 14: Spirit World – How do they influence us?

• Week 15: Spirit World – How can we influence spirits?

• Week 16: BCSS – What else influences you?

The Tongil Manual 52

• Week 17: BCSS – What is your identity? Where does it come from?

• Week 18: BCSS – Changing your identity.

• Week 19: BCSS – How do you deal with school/friends?

• Week 20: BCSS – Popular Culture (The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly)

• Week 21: BCSS – Why Abstinence?

• Week 22: BCSS – Dating vs. Arranged Marriages

• Week 23: BCSS – Leaders or Followers?

• Week 24: BCSS – What makes a good leader?

*BCSS = BC Survival Skills

Morning Services/Presentations: • Week 25: BCSS – Leaders who inspire me

• Week 26: BCSS – Building the culture of heart

• Week 27: BCSS – How can we change the world?

• Week 28: Goals – Why goals are important

• Week 29: Goals – Setting good goals and keeping them

• Week 30: Indemnity – What is Indemnity anyway?

• Week 31: Indemnity – Setting up an Indemnity Condition

• Week 32: Indemnity – Indemnity vs. Indumbnity

• Week 33: Indemnity – Real life examples of how indemnity works

• Week 34: Inheritance – Learning from the 1st generation

• Week 35: Inheritance – Learning from the 1st generation

• Week 36: Inheritance – What is the purpose of this movement?

• Week 37: Inheritance – How do we create a culture of heart?

The Tongil Manual 53

Actionizing: • Week 38-52: Building a community.

The Tongil Manual 54

Yearly Topic: Back to Basics In modern sociology there are three levels of faith: Pre-Conventional, Conventional, and Post- Conventional. In Pre-Conventional faith people believe in something because they are told to. In Conventional faith people believe because others do. In Principled faith people believe in something because they know it to be true.

Hyung Jin Nim once said that faith is a bridge; it is something to fill the gap between knowledge and belief. The purpose of a life of faith is to bridge this gap and to eventually push us to fill up this gap with experience. When a person’s beliefs become knowledge they have successfully entered post-conventional faith, and we believe that pushing people towards this type of faith is the purpose of any education system.

This concept is the very core purpose behind the yearly topic of Back to Basics.

As students grow up they are told things like, God exists, the Spirit World is a reality, and that Falling is more than just tripping and hurting one’s self. However, for many of the second generation this knowledge never grows beyond the realm of Pre-Conventional faith: in other words, their faith is their parent’s faith and not their own.

The hope of the Back of Basics curriculum is that the participants can grow in their faith through sharing with their brothers and sisters, and from hearing about the experiences of their peers and elders.

For this reason this curriculum focuses on some of the basic spiritual principles and concepts that will hopefully give students a foundation to understand religion. By hearing about the beliefs of their peers the hope is that the students will adhere to those beliefs because their friends do (Conventional Faith.) Then, as the students grow and are forced to explain to others why they believe, the hope is that these beliefs will sink deeper and becoming knowledge rather than faith (Post-Conventional Faith.)

The Tongil Manual 55

Icebreakers Week 1: Candy Toss and Telephone Charades

Week 2: Guess Who and Name Balloon Pop

Teamwork and Bonding Week 3: Human Knot and Lap Sit

Week 4: Team Score Basketball and Back to Back

Breakout Groups: Week 5: Explaining Breakout Groups It has always been our experience that the first time people trying something they need help and they need to see whatever it is they are trying to do done. This is not because they are incapable, but because they have no experience. Explaining, and more importantly demonstrating, a Breakout Group really allows the students to start on the right foot.

That being said, it is crucial that the teacher explains the purpose of the Breakout Group. We will not do that here because it was explained in depth in the overview of the curriculum, but the teacher should give a basic overview.

After explaining what a Breakout Group is and what it is supposed to do, it is then very important to demonstrate it for the class.

We believe that the simplest way to do this is to recruit a few of the older or more outgoing students and have this group of students create a mock Breakout Group. Give them a mock topic and let the rest of the students watch as the Breakout Group goes through the motions.

After demonstrating the concept, and thanking the helpers, introduce a topic and have the students break out into groups. There are two ways to do this: either you can form new groups each week (very good when attendance is sketchy) or form semi-permanent groups (with a lifespan ranging from a couple of weeks to a year.)

The first Breakout Session should always be something light. I would suggest using an Icebreaker like the Candy Toss Game or the Toilet Paper Game.

The Tongil Manual 56

Week 6: God – Does God Exist? How do we know? There are three questions that all religions (even Atheism) attempt to answer. These are: Does God Exist, What is the Purpose of Life, and is there an afterlife? The first is probably the most important, because it has an absolute and diverse effect on the other two.

Two examples are Dialectical Materialism and Catholicism. In the case of Materialism: if God does not exist, then the purpose of life is to make yourself happy. Furthermore, there obviously cannot be a spiritual realm, so there is no life after death. Take this in contrast with the Catholic belief system. Since God exists, our purpose in life is to praise and worship him. Since we know God exists, and we are his children, we are destined to live for eternity with Him, if we are saved.

Possible questions for discussion include:

1. Do you think God exists? Why or why not?

2. Have you ever experienced God? If so, how?

3. Why does almost everyone believe in God?

This discussion does not typically take more than 15 minutes, but let it go on a little longer because this is probably the students first time in a Breakout Group, and they may need to familiarize themselves with the setup. If using more than one discussion group the class should gather back together and each team should have a chance to summarize the answers that came up in their discussion. At the very end of the class the instructor may add any points that the students forgot.

Week 7: God – What is He like? This is the question of the ages. The first week’s Breakout Group is really a setup for the second week, somewhat like a set for a spike in Volleyball. This is the all-important question that all faiths hinge upon. For thousands of years the question has been asked: “What is God like?”

According to Catholicism, God is an all-powerful and omnipotent being who created us so we could worship him. According to Islam, God is our Master and we are his humble servants. Our sole purpose in life is to please Him and listen to his commandments. According to the Unification Church God is our father and he wants us to be happy and feel fulfilled in our lives. There are as many interpretations of God as there are religions, but which one is right?

The Tongil Manual 57

Understanding that God is our Parent is an essential part of understanding the universe. True Father often says that the most important relationship in the universe is the one between parent and child, because it is the one that motivated the creation of all things. Understanding God as a parent gives one a deep insight into why He created the world, why He works so hard to help us, and why He wants us to be happy. Understanding God as a being with feelings also gives us a glimpse into the reality of God and the hardships and sorrow He has had to face over the countless years.

Possible questions include:

1. Why does God do the things He does?

2. Why is there free will?

3. Is He really a He?

4. Why did God bother to create the Universe?

5. What things can we know about God by looking at Creation?

If one is running a Youth Group in tandem with the Sunday school class one might consider watching the movie Bruce Almighty because it has a fairly humorous but more or less inspiring depiction of God.

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 8: Free Will and the Purpose of Creation Hopefully in the previous week the groups went a little into the existence of free will and the purpose of creation. Upon the foundation of understanding God as a parent we can start to examine some of the other fundamentals of the Unification faith. The first such fundamental is the existence of Free Will & the Purpose of Creation.

As with the previous two weeks, the beliefs that echo out from the answer to these two questions distinctly shape religious theology. For example, in the Muslim tradition God created the universe so that He could be worshiped and obeyed; with this being the case the purpose of creation is to worship and obey His commandments. Furthermore, if there is no free will then everything is predestined and meant to be, and people have no portion of responsibility. In the atheistic tradition there is no God, and therefore no purpose to the

The Tongil Manual 58

creation of the Universe, which means that it is up to us to find a purpose to our existence. Furthermore, if there is no being controlling the universe, then all actions originate from the people who do them, and those people are solely responsible.

The reason why we are asking both of these questions at the same time is because we believe that Free Will exists in order to fulfill the Purpose of Creation. In Unificationism the purpose of creation is happiness, which is the byproduct of fulfilling relationships (both with people and with creation.) Since this is the case, free will is a pre-requisite to happiness since if there is no choice to enter into a fulfilling relationship then there cannot be any fulfilling relationships. With no fulfilling relationships, there can be no happiness.

Possible questions include:

1. Is there free will? Why?

2. What would a world with no free will be like?

3. Why did God create?

4. Can God really be lonely?

5. Why are we here?

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 9: God – How can we build a relationship with God? If God exists, and if He is our Parent, then how do we get to know Him better? This is the next question for discussion, and we believe that it is a perfectly logical one. Also, while there are as many ways to get to know God as there are people, there are some commonalities that are universal.

For example: All relationships hinge upon common base. In essence, the more someone else reflects the part of one’s nature that one likes, the easier it is to like them. If two people share the same beliefs, morals, language and hobbies then it is very likely that they will become friends. Keeping this in mind, the easiest way to get to know God is to become like Him, the idea being that the more one becomes like God, the easier it will be to become His friend.

Possible questions include:

The Tongil Manual 59

1. How do friendships/relationships work?

2. What do God and I have in Common?

3. How can this knowledge help me build a relationship with God?

4. What are the benefits to a close relationship with God?

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 10: Prayer – What is Prayer? We think that one of the most fundamental building blocks to creating a relationship with God is the use of prayer. We say this because there is more to a relationship than common base. For example, all relationships also require consistent give and take through communication.

To see this in action, consider if one had a friend that they never talked to or saw. Is that person really a friend? To some extent one could say that they are, but unless two people actually do things together than the relationship is probably superficial. A relationship with God is the exact same. Unless one takes the time to talk with Him, and do things with Him, then one cannot really say that a healthy relationship exists.

In its simplest form, prayer is just communicating with God. The form prayer takes is as variant as the people who do it. For example, some people talk with the divine through meditation, while others find walking in nature a religious experience, and still others find that praying to a shrine to be the simplest way to communicate with God. Regardless of one’s religious preference, prayer is a fundamental part of religion.

Possible questions include:

1. What is Prayer?

2. What are some of the ways that people pray?

3. What are some of the benefits to prayer?

4. Why is prayer important?

5. Why is talking to people/God so important?

The Tongil Manual 60

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 11: Prayer – How do you pray? (Do’s and Don’ts of Prayer) Hopefully after the last week the students have some understanding of why communicating with God is important. With this understanding in place, the next question becomes, “How does on one Pray?”

This is a question that many people have tried to answer throughout the history of religion, there are even entire books written about praying and how to do it correctly. Some things are common sense, like how it’s hard to pray while at a Rock Concert. Other things are useful, like not saying “heavenly father” every other sentence. Other things are purely opinion, like starting a prayer with “Dear heavenly father.”

In this class, after introducing the topic, the students break up into teams and create a list about the do’s and do not’s of prayer.

One example of something that could go on this list is not to say God ever other line. Imagine trying to hold a conversation with someone and after every line they say your name:

“Hey Bill, let’s go out to get some food. Ok Bill? Umm… Bill, I think I’m hungry but I’m not really sure what I should do. Bill, I’m really questioning whether to eat a steak or a salad. Come on Bill…”

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 12: Spirit World – Does spirit world really exist? Almost every faith has some concept of the spiritual world and the afterlife; according to archeology even Neanderthals put gifts into the tombs of their dead. The question of “What happens after we die?” is another of the important questions that religions try to answer.

Once again the answers that different faiths come up with are vastly different. According to Buddhism there is some vague belief in an afterlife, but for the most part everybody stays on this earth until they reach the state of Nirvana. According to Judaism there is a spiritual world, but it is a horrible place, and according to Christianity there are three realms to the spirit world; heaven, hell, and purgatory. According to all three faiths spirits come back to influence

The Tongil Manual 61

people. In Buddhism perfected beings that return to help others are called a Bodhisattva, in Judaism and Christianity there are spirits, angels, and demons, each of which come to the physical world for different reasons.

In our experience, understanding what the nature of the spirit world is almost as important as understanding the effect that spirits have on us. However, before we can go into detail about what the spiritual world is is, we need to agree on whether or not it exists.

Possible questions include:

Do you think the SW exists?

1. Have you ever had a spiritual existence, or known someone who has?

2. Have you ever had a creepy feeling or a good feeling just by being in an area?

3. Why are certain places used for certain things (holy grounds, suicide places, burial grounds)

4. What about Out of Body Experiences, Near Death Experiences, and ESP?

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

It is also a great idea to try to get the students to learn about the beliefs of their ancestors. If one’s Sunday school allows homework, a good idea may be to have the students go home and ask their parents about the spiritual beliefs and practices of their parents and ancestors. The answers may be insightful, for example: A good portion of my family is Jewish, and my father told me that they used to sleep on the graves of their dead ancestors in order to gain their spiritual wisdom. These kinds of stories are wonderful for sharing during the next week.

Week 13: What is a Spirit really? Hopefully we have established the existence of a spirit world, which necessitates the existence of spirits. The next question we will attempt to answer is what exactly is a spirit? It is our belief that if one can understand what exactly a spirit is, then one has a much better idea of why they do what they do and how to work with them in a constructive way.

According to Unificationism the simplest way to understand a spirit is to see at them as people without bodies. They have thoughts, experiences, hopes, aspirations, and desires. Just

The Tongil Manual 62

like people, spirits want to be happy, and many of them see the living as their means to find that happiness. For example: dead smokers hang around living smokers so they can smoke. Dead preachers hang around living preachers so they can preach. We call this phenomena returning resurrection, and we find that looking at the spirit world in this way takes a lot of the mysticism out of it.

Possible questions include:

1. What is a spirit?

2. How different are spirits from living people?

3. How are living people and dead people alike?

4. Why do people do things? Why do spirits do things?

5. What does this mean to me?

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 14: Spirit World – How and why do they influence us? If one has ever watched the Saturday morning cartoon G.I. Joe, then one has heard the famous quote, “Knowing is half the battle.” The other half is actually fighting it, and in the case of spiritual struggles we think that this battle can be broken down into two parts: understanding how spirits influence us, and learning how we can influence them. It is possible to cover both of these questions in one session, but we find that it is better to split the lesson into two classes.

The first of the above questions is “how do spirits influence us?” We find that the answer is that spirits influence us in the same way other people do. The thinking is that if spirits are just dead people, then they would affect us in a similar way to living people. If one’s friends want one to go to a party, normally they ask. The same premise holds true for spirits. If one is spiritually open, then one can actually feel the spirits trying to influence others. If one is not, then spirits must resort to subtler means. These include random thoughts, emotions, dreams, and premonitions.

The Tongil Manual 63

Understanding that a good deal of the action-based thoughts we have (“Swimming seems like a good idea right about now…”) can be spiritual communications makes dealing with spirits easier.

The other concept that should be discussed is why spirits influence people. Simply put, spirits do not have bodies to do the things they want with, so they must attach themselves to the bodies of others. A little like a leech. This works because our bodies constantly send out signals. Think of it like a huge radio tower. This is why when we are angry, observant people can ‘feel’ it. Spirits are very sensitive to these messages and can use them to relive experiences or feel feelings. (That’s the simple explanation.)

Other possible questions include:

1. Have you ever had random thoughts? What’s the weirdest one?

2. How does that relate to this topic?

3. Why would spirits want to talk with us?

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 15: Spirit World – How can we influence spirits? As was mentioned above, the other half of dealing with spirits is the payback. Not only are we influenced by spirits, but spirits are influenced by us. Unificationism teaches that communication between the corporeal and incorporeal worlds work both ways because many of the things we do influence the spirits around us.

For example, there is an elder first generation in Denver who tells the story of how when he used to walk by a certain bridge he would always get the feeling that he had to jump off. For years he would get this feeling whenever he walked across this bridge, but after some time spent in prayer and doing conditions for this spirit the feeling went away.

Possible questions include:

1. How does one influence friends? How does that relate to this topic?

2. Is it possible that the conversations you have in your head aren’t just with yourself?

3. Why is it important to influence spirits?

The Tongil Manual 64

4. What kinds of things can we do to change spirits?

5. How does this concept relate to things like HDK and prayer?

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 16: BCSS – What else influences you? There are many other things besides the spiritual world that influence who we are, and what kind of choices we make in our lives. Understanding what these forces are may help to counter-act the bad influences we have and embrace the good ones.

In our experience just about everything influences us, from the weather to our choices in music to the kinds of people we associate ourselves with. We are what scientists call an ‘open organism’, which means that a lot of what we are is dictated by the environment we are in. This thought is easy enough to see because the same person will act different when they are told they are a teacher and when they are told they are a student.

The simplest way to teach this class is to break into the Breakout Groups and compile a list of things that affect the students. Then come back and have representatives of each group add things to a master list. Make sure they explain how each point affects them.

Week 17: BCSS – What is your identity? Where does it come from? The source of a person’s identity has been the topic of much debate throughout history, and it is a question that religion has attempted to answer for countless years.

According to the Divine Principle, all things have a given and perceived value. This is easy enough to see with a computer. When a computer is created, its creator has a purpose in mind and creates the computer to accomplish this purpose (let us say the purpose is to play computer games.) However, when a person sees this computer, he assigns it a value based upon his or her experience. To a caveman, that computer is a great footrest. To a hacker, the computer is his portal to a great time. To a student, it is a tool for learning and knowledge. The computer’s identity shifts as it is used, but no matter what path its user may take, the value imbued by its original creator still exists. In short, the computer is still a great gaming machine.

The Tongil Manual 65

Human beings are no different. The absolute portion of our identity comes from God. He created us for a specific purpose, and regardless of what we do with our lives, that purpose does not change.

The other half of the picture is how we see ourselves. This is often a reflection of how society and those around us see us, but regardless it is still our self-image. Often times we go to school because society expects it of us, and because we are going to school, our identity is that of a student.

Possible questions include:

1. Who are you? / What is your identity?

2. Are you cool? Why or why not?

3. Does your identity come from your friends? Your past? From What?

4. Are you happy with your identity?

Another option for this is to have the groups make lists of the things that define who they are. Then come up and have each member present what is on his or her list.

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 18: BCSS – Sculpting your identity. Most people view identity as a stagnant thing, or something that is absolute. As mentioned above, this is only true of one’s given value. The perceived value that one has changes all the time. The importance of realizing this is that once a person knows what sculpts their identity, they no longer need to be a slave to it. Through cognitive effort, any person should be able to sculpt an identity that one wants.

Our experience has been that sculpting an identity is relatively simple. Since the majority of how a person sees themselves is dictated by the actions they do, changing one’s identity is as simple as changing one’s actions, friends, and habits. For example, if one wants to be a nerd one needs to spend a lot of time on computers, wear taped glasses, and watch a lot of sci-fi films. If one wants to instead be a person who serves the community then all one needs to do is serve the community. It really is that simple.

The Tongil Manual 66

Possible questions include:

1. How do others see me now?

2. How do I want others to see me?

3. What actions can I do to become the kind of person I want to be?

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 19: BCSS – How do you deal with school/friends? As social creatures human beings tend to be greatly influenced by our peers, and in our experience this is especially true in Middle and High School. This influence by social groups can be a wonderful thing when the culture being pushed upon the students is heavenly; however this aspect of human nature tends to be bad because the culture that is being passed onto our youth is not so heavenly. Knowing this, it becomes very important that our students understand how to deal with these possibly negative pressures.

In the Breakout Groups, have the students talk about ways they have dealt with peer pressure and make a list of the things they can do to keep faith in this less than perfect world.

A few examples of what could be on the list include:

1. Keep friends with high moral standards

2. Have a very strong sense of identity and don’t let people push you around

3. Get into the habit of telling people about your beliefs.

4. Be consistent and don’t put yourself in stupid situations.

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 20: BCSS – Popular Culture (The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly) This is perhaps one of our favorite lessons because it relates to everyday life. We say this because our students have a nearly constant give and take with the less than ideal culture

The Tongil Manual 67

that we live in today, and for the most part our youth do not take the time to really think about the good, bad, and ugly aspects of that culture.

For example, one of the best things about the American culture is the heart of service, and the idea that anybody can do anything as long as they try hard enough. We believe that this is a belief that our youth should see the beauty of. One of the bad things about American culture is the over emphasis on all the physical aspects of life. We hope that our students understand that having a big house, or white teeth, or a well paying job are superficial things compared to healthy friendships and families. Lastly, one of the ugliest things in American culture is the sexism that exists as a sinister undercurrent to everyday life. In the media women are portrayed as walking sex machines, and degraded to this status by popular music, clothes, movies, and concepts.

Our hope is that when our youth understand the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of popular culture that they will then be able to learn from the good, fight the bad, and feel great moral indignation against the ugly things that their society tries to force upon them.

This lesson works equally well as a guided discussion or as a list.

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 21: BCSS – Why Abstinence? In our experience one of the biggest things that our young blessed children are constantly confronted with is the explaining of their beliefs, and no belief seems to cause more anxiety then our movement’s aversion to dating and insistence on abstinence before marriage. From the classes we have held, and from our personal experience, we know that it is hard growing up with a heavenly standard, and it is even harder to explain this heavenly standard to others.

However, in order for our youth to actually be able to stand up for their beliefs first they need to have pride in it, and secondly they need to understand the vital importance of it.

The importance of abstinence is that it keeps the heart pure. One Christian youth minister explained that people are like soda bottles, and our love is like the bubbles. Each time we get excited about someone we shake that bottle, and when we have sex with them we open the bottle and let the bubbles out. If one does this enough times then soda becomes flat, and in

The Tongil Manual 68

real life the people who live through many heart shattering relationships become so scared and hurt that they have a very difficult time giving their heart to anyone.

There are plenty of other reasons for abstinence, ranging from the fact that it is only way to guarantee you won’t have kids until you’re ready, to a slew of facts showing that sexually active teens are more likely to do drugs, run away from home, fail school, commit crimes, and kill themselves.

The main issue at hand however is one of pride. It has been our experience that our youth do not have pride in their faith, and that they are not proud of their ability to keep their purity. This more than anything else seems to lead the youth to hide the reality of why they do what they do.

Possible questions include:

1. Why are you Abstinent?

2. Are you proud of your faith? Why or Why not?

3. How can you gain pride in what you believe in?

4. What are the benefits of waiting?

5. How do you explain this to your friends?

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 22: BCSS – Arranged Marriages vs. Dating One of the other things that we have found that our students are consistently confronted with is their friends asking them about their boy or girl friends, or their lack thereof. It is the common cultural belief that dating is the best way to find one’s future spouse, yet statistically speaking it is a dismal failure. Surprisingly, dating as we know it is a relatively new invention, and while the idea of searching the world for the perfect spouse is romantic, we find that it takes the focus away from where it needs to be.

As Rev. Phillip Shanker puts it, “Love isn’t about finding the right person, but being the right person” because, even if one can find a great and wonderful person there is no guarantee that they want to be involved with a self-centered egotistical jerk.

The Tongil Manual 69

There is far too much information on this topic for us to try to squeeze into such a small section, but we do strongly suggest that instructors planning to lead discussions on this topic do a bit of research into the differences between arranged marriages and dating, and the many benefits to arranged marriage. We find that understanding the differences between love and lust, the unrealistic nature of the concept of soul mates, and the statistics between arranged and dating relationships is a good starting point.

Testimonies are also a great asset in persuading our youth to stay pure and go to the blessing. If one has a youth group that works alongside the Sunday school, it is a good idea to have testimonies about the beauty of the blessing the same week as this discussion is held.

Possible questions include:

1. What are some of the problems with dating?

2. What are some of the problems with arranged marriages?

3. Where is the focus of dating? More physical or more complete?

4. Where is the focus of arranged marriages? More physical or more complete?

5. What do I want to do and why?

The other way that this course can be taught is through the use a list. When using a list, have each group write a list about pros and cons of both arranged marriages and dating (a total of two lists). Then at the end of the session, have the students come back and compile a master list. Make sure that the students explain what they find to be the most important entries on their list.

Week 23: BCSS – Leaders or Followers? Operation Sudan (www.operationsudan.org) has a wonderful snippet on leaders and followers. It states that:

There are two types of people in the world: leaders and followers. Leaders voice their opinions regardless of possible consequences. Leaders are not deterred nor discouraged by an apathetic majority, because leaders understand the incredible power of one. Leaders tread their own path, and take action when action is due. Followers do not.

The Tongil Manual 70

We think that this statement captures the power of leadership. Another famous quote goes “Never doubt that a small group of dedicated individuals can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever does.”

These, and other quotes, capture the power and importance of leadership. Leaders guide and shape the world, set trends, and change culture. It is an immutable fact that every choice people make either upholds or alters the society they live in, and to become a leader means to understand this fact and make the choices that move the world in the right direction.

The question then becomes: do you want to be a leader or a follower?

Possible questions include:

1. What is a leader? And what is a follower?

2. Which do you want to be? And why?

3. What is a leader of leaders?

4. Why is it important to be a leader?

As with the previous week’s breakout group, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

Week 24: BCSS – What makes a good leader? The next question we want to ask is: what makes a good leader?

Of course this is a very open ended question, and the obvious answer is that there are a lot of things that make a good leader, ranging from intangible things like heart and charisma, to tangle things like life style and the ability to communicate well with others.

As with the previous week’s lesson, this week can also be done with either a guided discussion or a list. We suggest using a mix of both, so holding a guided discussion that focuses on the creation of a list.

As with the previous week’s lesson, if multiple teams are used than each team should have the chance to come back together and share their findings. Lastly the instructor may share some words of wisdom or insight that the students may have missed.

The Tongil Manual 71

Morning Services: Week 25: BCSS – Leaders who inspire me In this morning service, someone should give a talk about a leader, or a person, who has inspired them. A great example of a person someone could talk about is Martin Luther King Jr. He had a dream of a world where people could look beyond the color of the skin and into the content of the heart, where people would not judge one another based upon looks but rather based upon actions. Not only did he have this dream, but he shared his dream. So many people find that this is the most inspiring thing about him. He took that passion and fire he had within himself and he shared it with those around them. He instilled within others the hope and the passion to overcome insurmountable odds, to fight back against violence with love.

If there is time, have the students talk about leaders that have inspired them, and more importantly, about what characteristics they can inherit and learn from.

Week 26: BCSS – Building the culture of heart We believe that the purpose of being a leader is to lead people towards developing a culture of heart, and to be an example and role model that can pass on the dream of a better world. Each person should become a leader and carry on the vision of a heavenly place.

In this morning service, the speaker should talk about how we as people can build the kingdom of heaven and how it is our responsibility to realize our dreams and make the effort to fulfill them. There is a great quote that goes “If not you, then who?”

If one does not make something better, then who will? If one does not make the change or become the example then who else will? How many years will it take for that other person to be able to do what you can do today? How many more people have to suffer while that person is being raised up? The answer of course is too many.

Make sure that the speaker hits upon the point that building a culture of heart is a choice we make every day. It is reflected in every action we do.

This morning service should ideally be followed by a discussion about how we as people and as a community can help build a culture of heart in our own lives, our own families, our own church, and our own world.

Week 27: BCSS – How can we change the world? A way in which we can change the world was once explained by David Mahardy in the following way. Each and every one of us is a co-creator. Every thought we have and every

The Tongil Manual 72

action we do creates something, either something good or something bad. It is a choice we make every day.

The things we create ripple out, much like the waves cast by a rock thrown into a serene mountain lake. They ripple forth until they have reached all around the pond. When we do an action it affects those around us, and the people we affect end up affecting other people. In this way, every action we do echoes into eternity.

At first glance it may seem that the things we do have a small scope, but in reality they cause a domino effect that we cannot see the outcome of. In contemporary society this phenomena is known as the butterfly effect.

The point of this morning service is to help people understand that they can and do make a change in the world, and should be followed by a guided discussion either in teams or as a class.

Week 28: Goals – Why goals are important Unfortunately it is usually fairly hard to make a change in one’s own life. It is simple to say that one will change, but it is very hard actually makes the steps that changes one’s self. Just look at all the people who make a New Year’s Resolution to lose weight, then a week later are back to their glutinous selves.

It is our experience that goals are perhaps the best way to facilitate a change, and the point of this morning service is to help the students realize that.

One way to show this is by drawing an X on a piece of paper and asking someone how you get there. This of course is a trick question because no one can ever get to that point without knowing where they are starting from. Next draw a second X and then ask how to get there. It then becomes a simple matter of drawing a line.

This simple exercise shows the power of goal-setting. Once a person knows where they are and where they want to go, it becomes a simple matter of going there. By keeping on the path one has made for one’s self (the line between the two X’s) one has a much easier time eventually reaching one’s destination.

There is also a plethora of information about how to set goals, what are the characteristics of good goals, and why people should set goals. After the speaker researches these topics they should give a talk about what they have learned.

The Tongil Manual 73

Also, we suggest that the speaker try to tie this idea of goal setting back with the previous topics. In order to become a leader and build a better world, what does a person need to do? How can goal setting help a person do those things?

This morning service should be followed by a guided discussion either in teams or as a class.

Week 29: Goals – Setting good goals and keeping them As most people know, making goals is not the same thing as keeping goals because anybody can make a goal, but precious few end up keeping them. The purpose of this morning service, and the following guided discussion (or list), is to help our students understand how to set good goals, and how to keep them.

There are many, many books on goal setting that one can read in preparation for this lesson, and many systems of goal setting that are proven to work. If at all possible however we suggest finding a guest speaker to give a presentation or talk for this morning service. In our class we tend to ask Mr. John Redmond, who is a man who in his youth led many leadership training seminars for young adults. His advice is that goals should be:

1. Achievable

2. Measurable, and Specific

3. Meaningful

4. Have a time period

According to Mr. Redmond a goal needs to be something that is achievable because it has to be something the person setting the goal knows that they can accomplish. If the goal is not something that is actually doable, then all the person is doing is preparing to fail. One way to make a large goal more achievable is to break it down into smaller components and working on those components.

Secondly, according to John, a goal must be measurable, this is because the person setting the goal needs to be able to know when they have accomplished the goal, or how much farther they are from accomplishing the goal. For example, if a person’s goal is to be a nice person, then they will probably struggle because they have no way of knowing what to focus on. If instead the goal is to be a nice person by helping others to do the dishes, one can easily tell whether or not they are accomplishing the goal.

The Tongil Manual 74

In general, the more specific a goal is, the more achievable it becomes. For example, setting a goal to run more often is probably too vague to be of much help, but a goal to run once a week is much more tangible.

Thirdly, Mr. Redmond teaches that a good goal must be meaningful. The reason why is because if a goal doesn’t mean anything to the person setting the goal, then there is no power motivation to complete it. In general, if a person is not serious about achieving a goal, chances are that they will not achieve it.

Lastly, a goal should be set for a specific period time. The reason behind this is that a goal with a set period of time is much easier to accomplish than a goal that stretches on forever. For large goals this could be a lifetime, but for the smaller goals that lead to the completion of a lifetime goal these should be significantly shorter. For example, if a person’s long term goal is to stay in shape then they may set an incremental goal of running a mile every day for two weeks, or eating one hundred calories less for thirty days.

After this morning service is finished the class should either have a guided discussion, or a discussion centering on a list. In either case the discussion or list should focus on the characteristics of good goals and bad goals, and how the students can focus on setting good goals.

Week 30: Indemnity – What is Indemnity anyway? Most people in the unification movement have heard about indemnity, but the problem is that most people have only heard about how to pay it, and never really understood why it is worth paying, and what it is. The purpose of this morning service is to remove some of the mystery from this thing we call indemnity and to help the students understand that it is not something to be afraid of.

Simply put, Indemnity is the restitution of sin. It is the restoring of an object to its pre- accident state. Also, according to our movement Indemnity is a two sided coin. On the one side Indemnity helps the person paying the indemnity to grow, and on the other side the act of indemnification helps the person sinned against overcome their pain. For example, if a child breaks a person’s window and is to replace it, the child may learn how much work goes into the replacing of a window, and hopefully learn to never do such a thing again. On the other side of the Indemnity coin, the person whose window was broken can hopefully forgive the person who broke their window since that person has apologized and replaced the window,

The Tongil Manual 75

and Unificationism teaches that this forgiveness is vital because it is what allows a person to be free, and unchained from the things that inhibit them from loving or being happy.

This morning service is normally followed by a discussion about indemnity in the lives of the students, how liberating forgiveness is, and how a person goes about getting forgiveness.

Week 31: Indemnity – Types of Indemnity With a basic understanding of what Indemnity is, the students can now go into more depth about the mechanics of how indemnity works. We like to break this into two morning services: one on the types of Indemnity and the other on how to set up a proper Indemnity Condition.

The Divine Principle says that there are three types of Indemnity: lesser, equal, and greater. This makes perfect sense when one thinks about it because if one makes a mistake there are three amounts of effort one can put forth to fix the mistake: lesser, equal, or greater effort. For example, if a child breaks a man’s window than the fixing of that problem either takes less effort than the window is worth, effort equal to the value of the window, or effort greater than the actual value of the window.

Furthermore, there are four stages in the process of indemnity. These being the understanding of the midway position (knowing that one has committed a sin), the setting of a foundation of faith (showing that one wants to fix the problem), the setting of a foundation of substance (actually fixing the problem), and lastly a foundation to receive the messiah (gaining forgiveness, and growing to become more perfect.)

This morning service can be followed by a discussion, but if the class is more outgoing in nature then an alternate idea is to have the students make and perform simple skits about indemnity. For example, one group could produce a skit showing lesser indemnity, while another group could make a skit showing the four stages of indemnity.

Week 32: Indemnity – Setting up an Indemnity Condition It is our opinion that one of the simplest and most orderly ways to resolve the pain and barriers caused by the different kinds of sin is through the use of Indemnity Conditions. When we talk about indemnity conditions we find it simplest to break the morning service into two parts, the first part talking about why people should use indemnity conditions, and the second portion focusing on how to set one up.

The Tongil Manual 76

According to the Divine Principle sin creates barriers. When people sin against God they create a barrier between themselves and God, and when people commit sins against other people those people form barriers against those that sinned against them. For example, there is a lot of mistrust between the Anglo-American and African-American communities in America. One of the best ways to overcome this mistrust is for Anglo-Americans to spend time serving African-American communities. This works because this servitude helps to indemnify that portion of mistrust that comes from the historic misuse of African-Americans who were forced to serve Anglo-Americans.

The “how” of setting up indemnity conditions is very similar to the how of setting up of a goal, and requires a central figure, a timer period, and a condition.

1. Name a Central Figure: This is always you. You are the one doing the condition and it is your goal. We add this because it helps to keep things in perspective.

2. Time Period: Any goal should have a time period; otherwise you will be doing it forever.

3. Condition: Whatever action it is you are doing to fix the problem.

As with any other type of goal, an indemnity condition should be Achievable, Measurable, Meaningful, and be done over a specific period of time. Furthermore, in order to create an indemnity condition one needs to know what it is that they are trying to fix, where a person is in relation to fixing the problem, and the steps that are needed in order to fix the problem.

Also, students should be advised that fixing a problem often requires more than one indemnity condition, which makes sense since a deep problem like the use of slavery in America is going to take a lot of work to resolve.

When the morning service is over there should be a guided discussion about indemnity conditions. One way to run such a discussion is to start by asking what kind of indemnity conditions the students have set, then move on to what kinds they would like to set, what kinds of things do they feel sorry for having done, and what can the students do to resolve those things they feel bad about.

Week 33: Indemnity – Indemnity vs. Indumbnity It has been our experience that there is a deep misunderstanding in our movement when it comes to indemnity. It is almost as if the members of our movement have come to equate indemnity as suffering which, as we have hopefully already shown, is not what indemnity is.

The Tongil Manual 77

The simple truth is that not all actions are the result of some cosmic will. Sometimes people just do stupid things, and end up suffering because of their mistakes. For example, if a person leaves their door unlocked and someone else comes in and steals from them, they did not just pay indemnity. Furthermore, if a person trips over a root and bangs their knee, they did not pay indemnity.

Now, it is possible for these actions to be turned into indemnity if a person can learn from the experience, and use that experience to resolve some historical pain, but this usually does not happen. In short, the purpose of this morning service is to help people understand the difference between paying Indemnity and just making a mistake.

This morning service can then lead into either a list or a discussion. If one uses a discussion the topic should probably be on the nature of indemnity and how not all actions are indemnity. Two key question to ask are “What is the difference between suffering and indemnity?”, or “Can one pay indemnity without suffering?”

If one wishes to use a list, then the participants can create a list of actions and sort them into two categories; Indemnity, and Not Indemnity.

Week 34: Inheritance – Learning from the 1st generation. Up until this point we have talked a lot about second generation, and now towards the end of the year we would like to talk a bit about where the second generation comes from, and whose foundation they stand upon.

For this morning service we like to ask one or more of the elder first generation to either give a testimony or share some bits of wisdom with the second generation. If at all possible we suggest trying to find someone to give a talk about how the movement has changed, how the movement has changed a first generations life, or how the person joined the movement.

Since this is usually more of a presentation than a morning service we suggest ending this with either a panel or a short question and answer section. One good idea what has worked well for us is to have the person giving the presentation ask questions to the students.

Finally, if the Sunday school class has a system for assignments outside of class, we suggest for the students to ask their parents about how they joined, and what they find beautiful about the movement.

The Tongil Manual 78

Week 35: Inheritance – Learning from the 1st generation. Just as with the week before, we suggest trying to find one or more elder first generation in your area and ask them to share some pearls of wisdom with the youth.

Week 36: Inheritance – What is the purpose of this movement? With only two weeks left before summer we believe that it becomes increasingly important to revisit the roots of our movement, not only the history, but vision. Everything has a vision. When anyone builds anything, they do so with a purpose in mind and a hope for the future. It is this vision that allows people to overcome the struggles that they find along the way to completing whatever it is that their hearts are set upon.

It is our experience that if people really want to be a part of this movement, they must understand what the purpose of the movement is and what it is here to do. Furthermore, our experience has been that if the youth cannot grasp the vision for the movement, then they have no reason to stay with the movement.

To us this church has one overarching purpose, and that purpose is to create a better world. To create a place where people really and truly care about one another, a place where people respect and love each other, a place free of bigotry and racism, a world devoid of hate and bias, a place where our children can walk the streets at night, and a place where we can finally be free.

Everything we as a movement do, from the peace rallies in Israel, to the service projects in our neighborhood, have this common linking purpose. To create, in a very real sense, the Kingdom of God on Earth.

There is a great quote from Father that fits in with this. It goes: “Do not follow me. See what I am doing, and if you want to do the same, then let us do it together.”

There is also a Native-American proverb that goes: “Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk in front of me, for I may not follow. Walk besides me so we may go together.”

After this morning service is finished we suggest holding a discussion about what the students believe is the purpose to this movement, and whether or not they want to be a part of it. Another question that can be asked is “What do you see as the purpose to your life?” with the follow up question of, “How can you fulfill this purpose?”

The Tongil Manual 79

Week 37: Inheritance – How do we create a culture of heart? For the final morning service of this curriculum we like to focus on how the students can actually create a culture of heart. For us this morning service centers on the concept of how an individual can actively create a change in their lives that ripples out to affect their friends, families, and societies.

The idea is of course very simple, and is perhaps best expressed in a quote from Mahatma Gandhi. This quote goes, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

By becoming the change one is in essence starting to create momentum towards a certain type of action. For example, if one person starts recycling, and then gets their friends involved, these friends can then get their friends involved. Once enough people start recycling then this act becomes part of the culture for those people.

Take this example and port it over to the characteristics of a culture of heart and one finds that if we as people do the things that create a culture of heart, and then we influence others to do those things as well, then over time the world gradually changes to create a culture of heart. To see an example of this look at any world leader; Mahatma Gandhi set an example of non-violent protest that inspired the nation of India, and Martin Luther King Jr. too set an example that others followed.

This morning service should be followed by a slightly longer than normal discussion centering around what changes people can make in their lives in order to make the world a better place. If possible, these changes can be turned into goals or indemnity conditions that the students can help one another accomplish.

Actionizing Actionizing is an old MFT expression for putting what one has learned into practice. In our church’s history when people finished a forty-day workshop they would go actionizing so they could get a chance to put the principles they had been studying into action. That is exactly what we are doing here.

To us, the most important job of this curriculum is to give the youth a vision for a better world, and to hopefully to instill within them a desire to want to build it. To this end our Actionizing program is designed to help our students build a culture that is closer to a culture of heart within our church.

The Tongil Manual 80

One way we can do this is by fostering connections a feeling of family between the older and younger brothers and sisters within the church. For our Actionizing we had the high school class take the elementary school class out on excursions once or twice a month.

The first month was a Water-day and a Carnival. The high school broke into two teams, each team responsible for one of the events and the church purchased supplies (candy, water balloons, card board, etc.). On the day of the Carnival the elementary school students dressed in bathing suites and instead of Sunday school they got to attend the Carnival and water games that the older students had organized.

The second month of our summer actionizing was a trip to a park near a lake. Once again there were two groups, one group took the kids that wanted to play sports, and the other group took the kids who wanted to play in the playground.

The third and final month was a trip to the Museum of Natural History. The high school class broke into four groups, and each group was in charge of a small group of elementary school children. The older students took the younger students to the different exhibits and took the role of older brothers and sisters for the day.

The Tongil Manual 81

Summarizing Designing a Curriculum To summarize up to this point: the first step in creating a curriculum is to figure out what it is that the students need to learn. Luckily, there are a lot of ways to do this, including, surveys, asking questions, sharing with individual students, giving tests, or just sitting down with the other Sunday school teachers and going through a list of students and writing down what they each need.

Once a general consensus of what the most prevalent topics are has been formed, then one needs to find some theme that encompasses those topics. In our experience what normally happens is that we come up with multiple themes, which just means that we end up drafting multiple curriculums that we teach throughout the year.

These overall topics should then be broken down into it their more general components, and then these more general components should then be further broken down into specific lessons. This actual structure was covered in detail previously.

As we mentioned before, we do not suggest trying o create the curriculums for an entire year all at once, the reason why can be found in the old idiom of “No plan survives first contact with the enemy.”

The first time we wrote a curriculum we wrote a yearly curriculum, and after the first three lessons we realized that our beautiful curriculum did not cover many of the topics that the students were interested in, so we had to re-write the whole thing. Since then we have found that the best thing to do is create a very strong overall topic, and then try to plan one or two sub-topics at a time.

Through trial and error we in Colorado have found that it is best to plan one or two months ahead. Our experience has been that if we start the year with a two month plan, then after one month, plan for the next-next month we keep everything running smoothly. This technique allows us to easily stay on top of new developments, and it also keeps last-minute planning sessions to a minimum.

Furthermore, when creating a curriculum, it is always a good idea to constantly ask for feedback. Since most students do not honestly give their feedback in a classroom we have found that the best way to get this feedback is to individually approach students after or before class and talk to them one on one.

The Tongil Manual 82

As has been stressed time and time again, the curriculum should never leave the object position and the content the students need to learn is and should always remain in the subject position. If topics need to be changed, re-arranged, or removed, then so be it.

Also, we fully realize that both lesson and curriculum design change from person to person, and we firmly believe that as one teaches more and more one tends to find a methodology that works well for one’s self. With this in mind, the only thing we are trying to do here is share our methodology so that others can expand and develop it in a way that works for them.

The Tongil Manual 83

Other Aspects of Youth Education

The Tongil Manual 84

Other Aspects of Youth Education It is our experience that there is a lot more to creating a good Youth Education System than just having an effective system for Sunday school. As we mentioned in the first part of this manual, creating a youth education system is about creating a total education experience, and what we think that means is that a good education system must go beyond the fifty minute classes that define most Sunday school programs and use a variety of different types of events in order to transforms the youth of our movement into true sons and daughters of God, and people of unquestionable integrity and true love.

Furthermore, we have found that the creating of such a system requires the building of a community, and a group of friends that can come together to support one another. Also a healthy Youth Education System requires a mechanism for continuation and a way to raise new and more talented leaders that can maintain their connection to the church as a whole.

It is our firm belief that in order to do these things a good education system must incorporate events other than the standard Sunday school class. Events such as parties, workshops, prayer circles, small team HDK, and service projects are also needed in order to have the maximum amount of impact possible on the lives of the participants.

In this spirit we will next attempt to briefly cover what we deem to be the other aspects of a good youth education system.

The Tongil Manual 85

A Unified System As was suggested earlier, a good youth education system is not any one single program but rather a plethora of programs that are united around a common vision. This vision is of course to fulfill God’s dream of restoring the world to bring about a cosmos united in peace, harmony, and love.

Just as the movement is separated into several very distinct organizations (UPF, FFWPU, CARP, etc), it has been our experience that a youth education system must also be comprised of many distinct aspects that work together. By working together these different aspects become members in a team, and come together to create something more powerful and profound than any individual aspect of the program could hope to be by itself.

A chart of this idea might look something like this:

In this system each aspect of youth education works with the other aspects to better fulfill the needs of the education system.

In order to create such a unified system there must be some sort of central authority. Some guiding entity that helps to keep each individual aspect of the education system aligned. When we were in Colorado we formed a Youth Leadership Council comprised of the older second generation in the area, along with a few parental supervisors to make sure everything

The Tongil Manual 86

was running well. In turn, this youth leadership council directly reported to the Education department in Colorado.

What we think made this council so unique was that a majority of its members were comprised of the older participants in the Sunday school classes. In short, some of the elder students taught classes for their peers, helped organize activities, and had a part in every aspect of the creation and execution of the Youth Education System.

With this experience in mind, we would like to take some time and talk about raising youth leaders, and organizing a similar leadership board, before going into the different kinds of events a Youth Education system can use.

The Tongil Manual 87

Youth Leadership The Importance of Youth Leaders: We believe that are several very important reasons why youth participation and youth leadership are so important.

The first reason is because as the youth become a greater part of the planning and execution of the Youth Education System they gain a sense of ownership over it. We think that this is important because then the curriculums taught are not just Sunday school lessons, but rather ‘their lessons’. It has been our experience that when students take an active role in preparing parts of a curriculum they are much more serious during the class periods, and we find that the other students tend to do their best to support their peers during their presentations.

We find that this sense of ownership is important because it seems to give the students who graduate from that system a desire to stay attached to the system. This in turn leads for a greater probability that some of the students will graduate and become teachers themselves.

Another very important reason is because we believe that the best way to raise-up leaders for our movement is to train the youth to be leaders, and to give them a sense of responsibility for the movement (the idea being that if the youth can gain a deep understanding of God’s desire for our movement then they will hopefully want to put forth the effort to lead the movement towards what God needs this movement to be.)

Slightly less important than this is the fact that most youth education programs are heavily understaffed.

In the ideal world there would be enough teachers available to have several teachers for each age group, and for these teachers to rotate and take turns teaching, or for each teacher to have an assistant to help with the planning and execution of each class. In reality however there is usually only one teacher, and this teacher must do everything. This leads to teachers becoming burned out, tired, and overwhelmed, which is a problem we have seen time and time again.

What we have seen is that when the youth assist the teacher in the creation and running of classes and activities they add a valuable level of support which can hopefully counteract many of the problems inherit with an understaffed youth education department.

The Tongil Manual 88

Benefits of Youth Leadership On top of the reasons listed above, we have observed several other benefits to youth leadership.

The first is that youth leaders are much closer to the age level and experience of their students, and thus usually have a more intimate knowledge of the struggles that their peers are going through, and while they do not always have the answers, they do have the questions. We have found that this makes them a vital part of creating a curriculum that addresses the needs of its participants.

Furthermore, because of the more peer-like relationship between people of similar ages, we have noticed that it is more likely that the youth will approach their peers with problems instead of someone in a teacher position. In a system with youth leaders those leaders can then come to an educator for guidance on how to help their peers with their struggles. Obviously there are many struggles that should be handled by an elder, or professional, but it is our experience that a lot of the smaller struggles that come up in the lives of the students can be solved by working together with the youth leadership.

A second benefit of youth leadership is that it gives a relatively controlled and safe environment in which youth leaders can learn how to be good leaders. This of course fulfills not only the individual desires of the students, but the whole purpose desire of the providence because the movement is in dire need of good second generation leaders. Also, the training a youth leader receives will hopefully give them a foot up in life because they will have already learned many vital leadership skills.

By giving the older youth more and more responsibility an educator is in fact giving them the tools they need to achieve in life. It is our experience that youth leaders learn accountability, planning, public speaking, diplomacy, organizational skills, and small team leadership. These abilities are invaluable in life, and give a strong foundation of future leadership positions.

Furthermore, it is our experience that a small percentage of these students will be inspired to help with the movement as a whole. For such inspired individuals, training as a youth leader not only gives them the training to be able to take and succeed at a mission, but gives them the confidence to actually want to step up and take responsibility for a mission.

The Tongil Manual 89

Above all it seems to give the youth a chance and framework to learn from other leaders.

Leadership Council The concept behind a Leadership Council is that any Youth Education System should be run by more than one person. Ideally what this means is that on a high level there should be a council overseeing all education, and then on a lower level there should be councils overseeing education for each age group. In reality what is more likely to occur is that there will be one council for education, with smaller sub-committee’s for different major age groups with each sub-committee having the help of several assistants from within that age group.

Roles in the Council In general, what we have found is that there tend to be four classifications of people within a Leadership Committee.

2. Core Member

3. Assistant

CEO A CEO is the official head of the council and the person who is ultimately responsible for the actions of the committee. In theory this person’s main responsibility is to organize meetings and take care of the Core Members. In practicality this person usually also takes on the roles of a Core Member since most cities do not have enough core members or students for a large committee.

Core Member The job of a core member is to take responsibility for a portion of the tasks that need to be done for the successful running of a Youth Education System. In general, the more core members a committee has, the less work each core member needs to do. In Colorado we had three core members, so each member had a lot of responsibility.

Also, it has been our experience that core members usually end up having responsibilities spanning multiple types of programs. For example, a person in charge of logistics may need to

The Tongil Manual 90

plan logistics for: workshops, youth group activities, service projects, and Sunday school classes.

Assistant The role of an assistant is that of a helper to one or more core members. In general, assistants tend to be older students who are being trained for leadership roles. We believe that in an ideal situation a percentage of the assistants should grow to become future core members, and in this sense the position of an assistant can be thought of as an intern position.

The type of responsibilities an assistant helps with varies greatly depending on what kinds of things an assistant is passionate about. For example, some assistants may help by calling their friends and reminding them to come to events. Other assistants may help by attending meetings and helping to brainstorm curriculum ideas. Over time, as was the case in Colorado, some assistants may even help by giving testimonies or leading some classes.

Advisor The final position is that of an advisor. An advisor is simply someone who gives feedback and input to the leadership council. In some cases the advisor may be a regional pastor, and in many cases an advisor will be a parent.

What we have found is that the role of an advisor is to give feedback on ideas, critique past events, and remind the rest of the council of the interest of other key parts of the movement. For example, one of our advisors was the head of Education in Colorado. One of the biggest services she rendered was to give us a parent’s perspective on the activities we developed.

Setup in Colorado When we were teaching in Colorado we adopted this model within the High School class, and staffed the leadership council for the high school age group with one parental figure, two elder second generation, and several of the older students.

What we found was that this model made it much less stressful to run the Youth Education System, and it created an environment where we could raise up and train the youth to become core members. By the end of our time in Colorado we had four to five new core members from within the older students.

Areas of Responsibility in a Leadership Council Before leaving Colorado this council had been in place for a little over a year and a half, and what we have learned is that these councils seems to work best when the people in the

The Tongil Manual 91

council have distinct areas of responsibility. For example, in Colorado we split the responsibility between internal and external, with Tomeo Wise and John Redmond more in charge of the external responsibilities and Yongil Fleisher more in charge of the internal responsibilities. On top of this several elder students assisted in the creation and hosting of events, with a gradual increasing of their responsibilities over time. For example, one student named Tami started out as a team leader and eventually helped organize many activities and was responsible for organizing sister nights.

The key thing that allowed this council to work was that we as instructors were more than ready to pass on some of our responsibilities. Towards the end of our term as teachers we had students helping in the organizing lessons, teaching some of the Sunday school classes, and doing logistical things like picking one another up and buying food for events. The most important thing was that the students were good at it, especially after a few years of practice. (We will go more into this later.)

We believe that how people end up assigning the different kinds of the responsibilities that come with running a Youth Education System change from place to place, however we have found that one simple way to delegate these responsibilities is to put them into categories, and to have Core Members and Assistants responsible for certain categories.

Some possible categories include:

• Marketing and PR (getting people to come to events)

• Logistics (organizing travel, buying food, preparing location)

• Education (preparing, researching, and presenting material)

• Historian (keep notes, write guide books, and compile/archive research)

What this means is that one or two members should probably be responsible for Logistics, which means that all logistic based tasks are their responsibility. When this is the case, and a student discovers that they need a ride to an event, they know who they can contact for help getting to an event.

The actual tasks themselves are not all done by these two core members. For example, the core members may ask another responsible BC to drive over and pick up the person, or they may ask one of the assistants to organize a car pool (we have done this in the past.)

The Tongil Manual 92

Creating a Leadership Council What we have found is that councils tend to go through three distinct stages of growth: Formation, Growth, and Completion.

Formation Stage: It has been our experience that the hardest part of creating a Leadership Council is getting it together and running it for one full year. In Colorado, once this council was created it ended up becoming a program that the older students understood that they would be a part of.

In Colorado it took two or three months to actually get the first council together, and it only happened because we personally asked each of the older second generation within the Sunday school class to be a part of it.

The first step is to of course find core members and a parental advisor. In our case it ended up being all of the high school age teachers (Yongil Fleisher and John Redmond) and the BC in charge of the Youth Group (Tomeo Wise.) After a Leadership Council has been in place for a couple of years it is much easier to find more core members because people have been raised up into positions (we will go more into how this happens in the next sections.)

Once the core of the Leadership Council is in place, the next step is to find assistants to help. We suggest that the best place to start is by approaching the most able type of the older youth and asking them if they would be willing to help as an assistant.

It has been our experience that this first step is the hardest because once a council is in place, and has been running for a few years, our experience is that the students will join without thinking about it. It simply becomes what is expected of the older students, and this is the end goal because leadership should be something that is expected of our youth, not something that emerges in a select few.

Once a few students have been found, the next step is to organize the first meetings. When we did this for the first time our first meetings were mainly about our hope for the leadership council. We shared and talked a lot about the importance of second generation and how the class and youth group could be done better.

After a few sessions, when everyone more or less had a good grasp on what they were supposed to do, we began brain storming what could be improved. For us in Colorado this led to more activity based teaching, more discussions, and a lot of ideas for curriculum content.

The Tongil Manual 93

On top of helping with the brain storming sessions, the assistants can almost immediately help with external things like buying food, organizing sports, picking music, or finding games. We also used these assistants as team and discussion leaders. What we have found is that these kinds of roles is a wonderful introduction into leadership because our experience has been that most students do not want to start off as leaders or core members, they need to be slowly raised and trained into these positions. The general idea is that as time progresses these assistants should slowly take up more and more responsibility, until they are experienced enough to be considered core members.

In future years, once a strong Leadership Council is in place, we believe that the newest juniors and seniors in each class can integrate themselves into the council by picking up some responsibility as interns, and working their way up.

Growth Stage: Once a Leadership Council is in place the sometimes difficult part of training these assistants to become youth leaders begins.

For us, this process of raising youth leaders tended to focus on both the internal and external aspects of leadership, and usually it was very gradual process. As we mentioned earlier, our experience has been that most students do not want to be leaders right away. For the most part this seems to be because of insecurity and lack of experience, and what we have found is that the best way to overcome this fear is to gradually get the students used to what it is that a leader does.

For example, a large part of leadership is organizational because people leading events need to prepare all the physical aspects for an event. Things like food, decorations, and seating arrangements. In our Leadership Training Program we have found that a great way to get the newest members involved is by having them help prepare the rooms and organize the food.

Another example of a place where assistants can start learning how to be leaders is leading teams and guiding discussions. With this being the case, we use our assistants as team leaders for activities and discussion leaders for small group discussions.

From these two basic starting points the students can then acquire more and more responsibility as time goes on. In essence, by taking the first step it then becomes easier to take other steps, which is a method perfected by the United Way.

The Tongil Manual 94

When the United Way goes fund raising it doesn’t do it by first asking for donations. It first goes around and asks people to wear their pin, and maybe put their bumper sticker on their car or door. This first step is absolutely free and non-offensive, and it is something almost anyone will do. Once this is done all they have to do is sit back and watch the beauty of a concept called incremental investment. When their fundraisers come around a second time and ask for money they are much more likely to get it. They have been so successful that they have been investigated under anti-monopoly laws.

Much like a frog and boiling water, a person asked to give a large investment will almost immediately jump away from the idea. However if one slowly turn up the temperature of the water the frog does not jump away and one can cook it. Likewise if one slowly give someone more and more responsibility they are much less likely to run away from it.

It is our experience that being a group leader is something that most youth in our movement will gladly do; in fact it is something that many have grown to expect. Once a person is used to leading groups, it is not a large leap to start helping in the organizing of groups for a workshop or event.

Another incremental step may be to help in the brainstorming of topics and questions for discussion within a group. A third incremental step may be researching possible events that the class can do in teams. Once they have done this, maybe the next step is help run such an event.

In any case, the point is to have the students slowly learn about leading by taking on more and more leadership responsibility over time. We have found that one of the keys to this is to find were the passions of each assistant lies, and to help that assistant embrace their passion. For example, a person who likes parties can help organize all the birthday parties and special events, and a person who likes the DP can help organize a monthly DP study breakfast.

At some point, after enough time and training, these students should be more or less able to run and organize these events with little or no assistance.

Completion Stage: The completion stage is more a maintenance stage. As a Leadership Council becomes more and more experienced it requires less and less hands-on-guidance and more delegation. In essence, some of the assistants should grow into the position of core members, and as such lessen the work load of each core member.

The Tongil Manual 95

It has been our experience that this passing on responsibility is one of the hardest things for a leader to do, but something that every good leader must do because, as a leader of leaders, a leader’s job should become that of a manager. Organizing and chairing meetings, keeping the group focused, helping with the planning of events and activities, helping with discussions, and teaching and odd class here and there.

As the classes graduate the new juniors should just be able to plug into the Leadership Council as assistants. The old assistants can then remain assistants, graduate out of the program (and hopefully into another program, like CARP), or become core members.

Once this type of situation has been reached, then the focus becomes on maintaining and growing what is already in place.

One type of activity that we greatly support is to have some of the parental figures take the individual core members for sharing once every couple of months. This kind of sharing helps the core members overcome whatever struggles they are going through, and it helps to keep them from burning out.

Another great way to keep moral in such a group high is to have celebrations, or to add a social component to some of the meetings (like bowling.)

A final point we would like to stress is the importance of creating and maintaining documentation. We believe that compiling a list of what a Youth Education System has done is a great way to create a library of activities that future teachers can use (like the one in the back of this book.) Furthermore, we find that maintaining a strong set of documents about the struggles that a system as run into (like how to create lessons or curriculums), and how people overcame that struggle, is a wonderful tool that future teachers can fall back on if those struggles come up again.

The Tongil Manual 96

Youth Group As we tried to show in the diagram in the Unified System section of this book, we believe that a Sunday school class is only one part of a Youth Education System. It is our opinion that a Sunday school class holds the primary responsibility to teach intellect, with only a secondary focus on emotion and will. What this means is that in order to have a well rounded system that tries to grow the emotion, intellect, and will of its students there must be programs in the system that cater more specifically to the other less intellectual needs of the participants.

With this in mind, we firmly believe that one of the best supplements to a good Sunday school program is a youth group. We believe this because youth groups tend to have a primary focus of creating a community, which we think is a focus on emotion, and a secondary focus of teaching intellect and will.

As such, we believe that a good Sunday school class should have a youth group working in alignment with it. When we were working in Colorado these two components made up the majority of our Youth Education System, with most other aspects falling into a peripheral or supporting role. For example, the youth group would help organize weekly meetings, help organize community service projects, organize parties, and host brother/sister nights.

It has been our experience that the sense of community that is fostered in a well executed youth group creates a sense of community that greatly exceeds the sense of family that can be found in a Sunday school class.

The Tongil Manual 97

Purpose of a Youth Group We believe that the purpose of a youth group is to act as a supplement that reinforces the other aspects of the Youth Education System. For example, if there is already a monthly service project taking place in the community, then we think that the youth group should help with the organizing and staffing of these projects. Or, if there is already a good Sunday school program, then the youth group could try and synchronize its topics with those being taught in class.

In general, it is our belief that all aspects of a youth education program should be interconnected and focused on pushing the youth in the same direction. Like members of a team, each aspect of an education system is different and unique, but when used together with the other aspects of a Youth Education System they create something more powerful than the sum of its parts.

For this reason, it is our belief that the most effective youth groups are activity based, with a focus on experiential learning.

To this end we have identified three basic purposes for the youth group

1. Build a community

2. Teach the truth

3. Prepare for the Future

Building a Community It is our belief that one of the most important missions of any youth group is to build a community and cultivate a sense of family within the BC community. Ideally we think that a youth group should try to create a place where people can come and feel accepted for who they are, and a place where the participants can grow and share without fear of being judged or persecuted. Furthermore, we strongly believe that a youth group should be a place where the students can escape from the grind of their everyday lives and find the energy and emotional/spiritual support to maintain and grow their life of faith.

The Tongil Manual 98

We believe that if such an environment can be fostered then the participants can naturally bond with one another and create lasting friendships that can in turn create a natural support structure for helping the youth overcome times of trouble.

We saw a great example of this in the youth group in Colorado. When Tomoe and Yongil first started the youth group in Colorado the participants hardly knew each other, and just two years later many of the participants were friends who would meet in their free time. We started noticing this change after about half a year of running the youth group when some of the participants would go over to each other’s houses to hang out and play games. After witnessing this we strongly believe that this should be one of the most important focuses of any youth group.

As noted in the goals of an education system (which we covered at the start of this manual), a community is important because it gives the students a support structure where they can gain support and strength from.

Teach the Truth What we believe to be the second most important goal of a youth group is to teach the truth, specifically the Divine Principle, and more importantly to show the participants how the Divine Principle applies in everyday life.

It has been our experience that a temptation forms to make a youth groups only focus having fun, and this is the start of the end because students can have just as much fun with their friends at home.

While fun may be an important part of any gathering, we have seen that a youth group needs a strong element of truth. We say this because we have seen youth groups were the members become great friends, and eventually start dating one another. With this in mind we affirm that a youth group cannot just be a place of fun, but instead it should be a place where students can gain something they cannot find anywhere else. Ideally, we think that a youth group should be a place where students can find spiritual fulfillment.

The primary purpose behind spiritual teachings such as the Divine Principle is to teach those who read it about principles that they can use to learn to love and find happiness and fulfillment in their lives, and to hopefully create a world that helps others feel happy and fulfilled as well. It is our belief that by knowing the truth the participants can learn to cognitively guide their lives to be more meaningful and fulfilling.

The Tongil Manual 99

Preparation for the Future The third purpose that we have found for having a youth group lies in educating its participants to prepare them for the future. It is our experience that life after high school can be daunting, and without having a strong sense of identity, and at least some concept of where to go for help, life can sometimes seem almost impossible to navigate. By preparing the youth for the future we have found that a good Youth Education System gives its participants an advantage in life.

The Tongil Manual 100

Types of Youth Group Activities In the Curriculum part of the book we highlighted a few basic lesson types, and while each of those lessons can easily be used in a youth group we have found that a few types of lessons lend themselves more easily to this kind of environment than others.

For example, in Colorado the types of events we held most often were:

1. Activity Based Event

2. Testimony/Panel

3. Fun Night

4. Brothers/Sisters Night

Furthermore, we found that a good length for a youth group meeting is about two hours (in our case, from 6:00pm to 8:00pm). This of course almost never happens since the participants usually stay longer, but the actual event should not be too long because we have noticed that parents often have to come to pick up their children.

For this reason all of the examples and templates given below fall into a basic two hour time frame, however please keep in mind that every youth group will be different. We found that Saturday nights were best for us, but depending on the school schedules of the students and how close people live to one another this can easily be changed.

Also, please note that the types of activities that work depend greatly on the maturity level of the students involved. For example, it has been our experience that younger age groups tend to focus more on the activity based events and fun nights, and older groups tend to like activities less and discussions and testimonies more.

Activity Based Event: This type of event was the bread and butter of our youth group system. Through the course of our experience in Colorado this type of event had two phases. The first phase was when the students were mostly juniors.

In this first type of activity based event the night was broken into two parts, each with a distinct purpose. The first activity was geared towards helping the group to relax and get to

The Tongil Manual 101

know one another. This first activity was usually a game of some type, something fun that helps the people in attendance to bond to one another. This first activity was then followed by some short HDK and discussion, and then a second activity. Usually this HDK was not very long because we did not read entire speeches. Instead we would select small parts from speeches and read those.

Other times we did not even use a speech. Sometimes one of the staff would give a brief talk, or we would show an inspiring move clip and have a short discussion about it.

We then used the second activity to teach some point or concept. This second activity was followed by a discussion about what the activity was supposed to teach.

A timeline might have looked something like this:

Activity Relative Time Time of Day UPN Start and time to relax 6:00 Introduction 5 minutes 6:30 Activity 1 15-30 minutes 7:00 Break 5 minutes 7:05 HDK 2-3 minutes 7:08 Discussion 3-5 minutes 7:13 Activity 2 15-30 minutes 7:43 Discussion 5-10 minutes 7:53 Prayer and Closing 7 minutes 8:00

After a couple of years we found that the students were starting to outgrow this two phased activity based event. As the students grew older they found the games less appealing, and the discussions more interesting. For this reason, towards the end of our time in Colorado, the events would instead focus on a single activity and spend a much longer time in discussion.

When this was the case we still used the first game as something to bring the students closer together, like a game of Pictionary, and instead of having a HDK and second activity we just had a long discussion about character development, preparation for the blessing, or how to give advice to friends in school.

Testimony & Panel In our experience, there are two basic ways to learn things. The first and most painful is through experience, the second and least painful way is by learning from the experience of others, and as educators we believe that one of our key goals should be to teach our students

The Tongil Manual 102

so that they can avoid many of the painful mistakes that most people end up going through in life. Furthermore, there is a wealth of spiritual knowledge in most communities; a proverbial goldmine that lies unharnessed. We think that the purpose of these events is to harness this latent potential.

These events are by and large much more unstructured then a regular UPN event, focusing around a speaker and giving them as much time as they need. Normally there is only one speaker, but from time to time we have found that a panel is the best way to teach about some experiences. For example, when talking about the blessing we have found that a panel of three or four blessed couples ranging in age and experience is a good idea. In other cases however, like when hearing the life testimony of a parent, only one presenter is optimal.

Once the speaker, or speakers, is finished we usually try to leave some time for discussion or Q&A, followed by a chance to mingle and relax. Such an event might look like this:

Activity Relative Time Time of Day UPN Start and time to relax 6:00 Introduction 5 minutes 6:30 Introduction of speaker(s) 2-5 minutes 6:35 Speaker speaks 30-60 minutes 7:30 Time to eat and break 5-10 minutes 7:40 Discussion or Q&A 10-20 minutes 8:00 Prayer and Closing 7 minutes 8:07

Fun Night A third type of event is a fun night. The primary purpose of a fun night is to have fun. It is a chance to build fellowship and enjoy the company of one’s brothers and sisters. These events generally tend to be lighter in nature, and primarily focused on fellowship. Talking about spiritual matters is fine, but it is not the primary objective.

There is no real time table to use for these types of events, since they center around doing something like going paint balling, watching a movie, going bowling, playing sports, etc.

The important thing is that the activity done takes up the entire two hours. For example, if the group plays miniature golf at night, then they should not go back and have a discussion on the purpose of life afterwards. The event should end with a prayer or closing in a parking lot, or directly after returning to the church, or youth center.

The Tongil Manual 103

Brothers & Sisters Nights A Brothers/Sisters Night is a night devoted to taking care of the specific needs of one gender group. The reason why this is important is because there are some topics that need to be discussed that are just not relevant to the other gender. For example, pornography is a huge problem among men but a much lesser problem among women. For this reason talks on pornography tend to disgust and not really help women, and since it is a topic men need to hear about then there should be a time set aside for just the guys to talk about it.

Since we hold that these events are vitally important we suggest having some kind of brother/ sister night once or twice a year. Ideally we feel that this event should be staffed by an elder second generation, or a first generation that the students feel very close too, because the students need to feel comfortable enough to share about their intimate struggles.

In our experience we have found that a great way to do this kind of event is to have a sleep over, and spend at least one or two hours of the sleep over talking. However, since this is not always possible this type of event works well enough as a two or three meeting. Another idea is to hold a brother/sister night during a workshop, which is something that has worked well for us in the past.

We have found that creating a schedule for such events to be counterproductive, but a general outline for a brother’s night might go something like this:

• 6:00pm – Gather at the venue (house or church building)

• 6:30pm – Eat dinner together

• 7:30pm – Play X-box or board games for an hour or two

• 8:30 or 9:30pm – Have a talk about life and the struggles that are unique to brothers

• 10:30pm – Play more X-box or other games until participants feel like sleeping

In contrast, a sister’s night might go something like this:

• 6:00pm – Gather at the venue (house or church building)

• 6:30pm – Eat dinner together

• 7:30pm – As a group make smoothies or milkshakes for desert

• 8:30pm – Talk as a large group. Pray to close.

The Tongil Manual 104

• 9:45pm – Break into smaller groups to talk, have music in the background, and snacks available. Groups or individuals can sleep whenever they want.

What we have found to be one of the best parts about this kind event is that it gives instructors and elder second generation an opportunity to take one or two students aside for a personal one-on-one talk. We say this because some things are better said in a group, and some things are better said in private, this of course is up to whoever is in charge.

Parties Every now and again something happens that requires a celebration of some kind; members graduating high school, leave for mission work, coming back from a workshop, watch a super bowl, etc. We think that these occasions are a perfect time for a party.

Like most parties, we think that the event itself should be light in nature, but structured enough to not be boring. Creating any type of firm schedule is impossible because the structure of the party is highly dependent on the cause of the celebration. If it is to celebrate the birthdays for a month then it should focus around games, if it is to welcome back people from STF then it should certainly include testimonies. One thing that is vital is that there is a sense of focus, otherwise things deteriorate and nobody has a good time.

We usually have a list of games or activities and general time table (nothing firm though.) Also, we suggest that any party should have the following staff:

1. Activity Director

2. Master of Ceremonies (MC)

3. DJ/AV coordinator

One person is there as the main coordinator, we call this person the Activity Coordinator, the second person is there to act as the host and to help move the participants from activity to activity. The third person is there to setup any technical aspects of the celebration. By splitting these functions out we have found that it puts less stress on one person, and allows more people to use their unique talents to make the event a success.

Finally we believe that there should be some type of parental supervision. Having a parent on hand not only makes sure things do not get out of hand, but makes every parent of every child feel more secure and confident. This parent should not just be a figure head though; they should have absolute authority to stop anything they feel is dangerous or unprincipled.

The Tongil Manual 105

Community Service Importance of community service Up until this point we have only talked about the components of an education system that primarily target intellect and emotion. With this in mind, we realize that any good education system also needs a component focusing on will, which we define as the desire for action. Just as with actionizing within a curriculum, community service lets students experience firsthand the benefit of living for the sake of others.

As such it is our firm belief that community service is a vital part of any good youth education system. Luckily, it is also something that most churches participate in. For example, in Colorado we had a local chapter of Service for Peace and our youth group worked closely with them to find and run projects.

We of course realize that not all communities have a pre-existing system for service projects. In these cases we believe that the simplest way to start is in serving the local community. Baking cookies, cleaning up the church, or cleaning the chapel are wonderful ways to help one’s local community while practicing a life of service.

Tips on choosing a good community service project One of the most common types of community service projects is a cleanup project. A cleanup project usually consists of going to a park, church, or school and picking up trash. While this kind of community service project is ok, we do not recommend doing these more than once or twice since they are tedious and it is hard to see the benefit from the work one does since the park/school/church usually becomes dirty again in a matter of days.

Instead, we believe that it is important to have a healthy mix of project types when it comes to community service. In Colorado we have packaged food for the homeless, painted murals, and helped to open and close natural parks for the winder/summer.

Another very important thing when trying to find service projects is to find projects that can be done more than once without the participants feeling burned out. For example, in Colorado we helped pack medical supplies at least twice a year for third world countries, and at least once a year, usually during Christmas, we helped package food for the homeless.

A third tip is for finding a good project is to look for a project that the students can feel good about. For example: volunteering at a local school as tutors. Going down once a month to

The Tongil Manual 106

help an after school program is a great way to help others, and it is something that the participating students will remember for the rest of their lives.

Our fourth and final tip is that reflections are very important after a service project. This allows the participants to internalize what they have learned and where else they can apply their new found knowledge. However, please be advised that most people do not like to do reflections. In the past what we have seen is that some students doodle or write notes to their friends during reflection time. With this in mind we strongly encourage doing reflections in small teams.

The Tongil Manual 107

Other Types of Events There are many other kinds of events that can help to form a strong Youth Education System. In this section we will try to briefly touch upon some other kinds of events that can be used.

Small Group HDK One thing that we have noticed is that many second generation do not participate in HDK when their parents are not forcing them to do so. In order to overcome this shortcoming one possible activity is to HDK in small groups where the participants meet once or twice a month to participate in some form of spiritual learning (reading, discussing, etc.)

One great idea is to have the participants watch the weekly videos from Heung Jin Nim, or any other inspiring minister.

Camping and Backpacking We find that a great way to foster a sense of community within a group of people is to experience nature together. For some reason being in nature with a group of people is a bonding experience, especially when that experience is difficult. With this in mind, we think that it is a wonderful idea for a youth group to do a long hike together, if possible one that spans multiple days.

This is of course not easy to organize since people need tents, sleeping bags, food, first aid kits, and guides. One possible solution is to hike some place where a car can access so that each night a car can come and drop off a lot of the equipment.

Lecture Practice Another great program that an education system can offer is a lecture practice, especially if it is tied to a DP study. Lecture practice gives the youth a chance to practice public speaking in a safe and supportive environment, and it also helps the youth to learn how to talk about the things that they believe in. It is our experience that the skill of public speaking is something that people use many times in the lives, and learning that skill from ones church community can be a great way to build a community while giving the youth the tools to succeed in life.

DP Study Studying the Divine Principle is another exceptional idea for an education program. It is our experience that a Sunday school program is usually not enough when it comes to learning

The Tongil Manual 108

about the Divine Principle because the students are usually not paying attention. On top of this, there is normally not enough time in a Sunday school class to do more than a cursory overview of any particular section.

With this in mind we find that it is a good idea to offer a Divine Principle Study program for those youth who are really serious about their faith. It is our experience that DP Studies allow the students to go into greater depth about the principle, and ask questions that they would not otherwise ask in a Sunday school program.

Super Bowl Party An excellent time to get people together and have a great party is during the Super bowl. We have done this twice in Colorado, and both times it was a great success.

Sleepovers/ Brother and Sister Nights Just as we mentioned above, these events allow Second Generation to share more intimately with their fellow brothers and sisters. It is strongly suggested to split the brothers and sisters up into different locations for this event because the main point of these types of talks is to let everyone know that they are not alone in their journey of faith.

These events also give older second generation a chance to share some of the decisions they made in their lifetime with the hope that the younger second gen can learn from those decisions. Furthermore, it gives second generation a chance to talk about the struggles that are distinct to their gender. For example, learning how to turn a person down when they ask you on a date is not something that most men need to learn.

Barbecue’s or Potlucks Sometimes is just fun to have some hot dogs and hamburgers and just have fun with outdoor activities. Furthermore, we have found that Potlucks and Barbecues are also great opportunities to break down some of the barriers that seem to exist between the first and second generation within our movement. Games where first and second generation play together are a great way to break down these barriers, especially when the teams are mixed (meaning that a team has both 1st and 2nd generation members.)

Birthday Parties Birthday parties are a great way of giving love to the members of a youth group, and they give a unique opportunity for people to get involved with the planning and running of activities.

The Tongil Manual 109

The Tongil Manual 110

Activities Table of Contents Preface…

Ice Breakers…

Candy Toss… Toilet Paper Game… One Common Goal… Mix It Up… Name Tag Grab… Sing a Song… Telephone Charades… What Can You Do With This?… Personal Trivia… Guess Who… Name Game… Four Corners… Name Balloon Pop… Mafia… Pictionary… Teamwork…

Marshmallow Soak’Em… Piggyback Tape Pull… Dragon Tails… Who’s the Leader?… Let’s Go This Way… Newspaper Hockey…

The Tongil Manual 111

Newspaper Hockey… Water in the Face… Toilet Paper Wrap… Human Knot… Rubber Band Wars… Team Musical Chairs… Balloon Stomp… Paper Wrap Game… Build It… Team Card Tower… Team Card Tower… Back to Back… Tall Tower… Swamp Crossing… Egg Construction… Lap Sit… Can Walk… Cup Stack… Take the Challenge… The Great Shoe Tie… Sneak a Peek… Push and Pull… Our Hands Are Tied… Points of Contact… Puppet Show… Flip… Circle Walk… Earthquake Escape…

The Tongil Manual 112

Shoe Tie You Bother Me… Create a Country… Group Transformation… Radio Broadcast… Team Score Basketball… Paper Tower… Trust…

Trust Fall… Balance Me… Shoe Pile… Cannon Ball… Gladiator… Trust Tag… End Over End… Crossing the Line… Crossing the Line… Communication…

Blind Square… Twenty-one… Twenty-one… Line up… Sounds Around… Mystery Object… Crazy Sentence… Crazy Comic… Ducks Fly… Talk To Me…

The Tongil Manual 113

Secret Word… Emotions…

Action Emotions… Emotion Bench… Emotions in Motion… Guess the Feeling… Feelings Shot… Identity…

Who Are You at the Zoo?… Group Symbols… Same Letter, Different Name… Snowball Fight… Group Sculptures… Award Ceremony… Choices… Group Labels… Glory Story… Our House… Be a Light… Will Away… Spirit World…

Spiritual Influence… Prayer…

Prayer Toss (aka: Candy Toss)… Anger Management…

Out of Control… Mad Music…

The Tongil Manual 114

Good, Bad, and Ugly… Blank Sheets…

Name:_____________________________… Name:_____________________________… Name:_____________________________… Name:_____________________________… Name:_____________________________… Name:_____________________________… Name:_____________________________… Name:_____________________________… Name:_____________________________… Name:_____________________________…

The Tongil Manual 115

Preface A large part of what youth groups, workshops, and Sunday school classes do are activities. In order to make the lives of teachers who use this manual easier, we have compiled over a hundred activities that can be used in almost any setting.

These activities are broken down by category and include a detailed description, list of materials, and possible discussion questions.

The Tongil Manual 116

Ice Breakers

Purpose: The purpose of an Ice Breaker game is to allow the group to get to know each other. It is suggested to play these games during the first several weeks or when you have formed brand new groups.

The Tongil Manual 117

Candy Toss Objective To learn more about the interest and hobbies of group members and discover what group members have in common

Group Size 8 to 20

Materials 10 pieces of wrapped candy per person

Description Have the group sit in a circle, and give each person in each group ten pieces of wrapped candy. Tell the group that they may not eat any of the candy until the end of the game.

One person starts the game by telling the group something unique he or she has done, accomplished, or experienced in life. Anyone in the group who has not done the same thing must throw (or gently toss) a piece of candy at this person. Continue in this manner around the circle until everyone had had a turn.

There should be four or five rounds of varying topics (each topic with multiple questions), and at the end of the game the payers may eat the candy they collected.

Some possible questions are:

• Name one thing that you’ve done that you are proud of?

• Name the strangest thing you have ever ate?

• What is the strangest compliment you have received?

• What is one thing you want to accomplish before you die?

• What are you most afraid of?

The Tongil Manual 118

Toilet Paper Game Objective To allow people to open up about themselves

Group Size 6 to 15

Materials One or more rolls of toilet paper

Description Start this activity by telling the following story.

“You are a group about to embark on a journey through the wilderness. You will be gone for a week and you will be camping out every night.” At this point reveal the toilet paper to the group members and tell them to take as much toilet paper as they think they will need for the journey.

After each member has taken as much they think they will require for their trip, tell them that they must now share on thing about themselves for each sheet of toilet paper they took.

This game is great for “class clowns” because most likely they have a huge wad of toilet paper.

The Tongil Manual 119

One Common Goal Objective For group members to learn more about each other and find things they have in common

Group Size 4 or more

Materials Paper Pens or Pencils

Description Break the groups into teams of two to six people and give each team a piece of paper and pen or pencil and ask them to make a list of all the things they can think of that are common traits among all the team members.

Set a time limit of fifteen to twenty minutes for this activity, and at the end of the time limit ask each group to read their list to the rest of the group.

For added fun and competition, see which group had the longest list and declare them the winning team.

The Tongil Manual 120

Mix It Up Objective To mix up the people in a group, to have fun, and to create an atmosphere that is comfortable for everyone. This ideal for a large group meeting together for the first time

Group Size 20 or more

Materials A loud voice or amplifier

Description Designate an area for this game to take place and ask everyone to stand within this area. When the instructor (or a selected person) says “go”, everyone must walk around in the area (in no particular direction) saying “mingle, mingle, mingle…” until the leader yells a number. When a number is given, everyone must quickly try to get into a group of people that matches the given number.

For instance, if the number five is called out then everyone should try to get into a group, cluster, or clump of five people (no more and no less). After a few seconds anyone not in a group is “out”. Those who are “out” should stand outside the play area so they can still watch and enjoy the reset of the game. Keep playing until there are only two people left.

After playing one round by the above rule, play another round with other characteristics that people must group up by. A list of ideas follows.

• People of the same age • People who live in the same city • People with the same show size • People with the same eye color • People with a single letter that is the same in their first names • People who love the same food • People who root for the same sports team • People who have the same favorite restaurant • People who have vacationed in the same place • People who have been in the same foreign country

The Tongil Manual 121

Name Tag Grab Objective To get to know each other’s names while trying to find your own name tag

Group Size 8 or more

Materials Sticky-back name tags Marking Pens

Description Gather the group into a circle and hand out name tags, and then pass the marking pens around and ask each person to write his/her name on one tag (don’t take the back off yet). The instructor then collects all the name tags, mixes them up, and redistributes them so each person in the group has someone else’s name tag (make sure that people do not have their own name tag, or the name tag of the people sitting next to them). Ask the group members not to reveal to anyone whose name tag they are holding.

At this point, ask the group to place the name tag that they are holding on the back of the person to their right. On the “go” signal, everyone must move among the group members and try to locate their own name while at the same time trying to avoid having someone find his/her own name on their back. Once a person finds their own name tag they grab it off the back of the person who had it a place it on their own chest for all to see. Each person stays in the game until they find their own name the person whose name was on their back finds his/her own name.

Since nobody knows whose name is on their own back, everyone should try to avoid having people look at their backs. The person who keeps the name on his/her back the longest is the winner.

Another way to play this game is for the instructor to collect all of the name tags and then redistribute them randomly on the backs of the group members.

The Tongil Manual 122

Sing a Song Objective To get people talking with one another in a group and make group members feel more comfortable with each other

Group Size 4 or more

Material A list of words

Description Break the groups into teams of four or more. The instructor then calls out a word (a list of suggestions follow) and the points to a group. That group has until the count of 10 to come up with a song that has the stated word in it. They must then sing at least some part of the song. At least two people in the group must know the song, and everyone who know is it must sing.

Then the leader points to the next group, who has until the count of 10 to think of a song with the same word in it. If a group fails to sing a song before the time is up, they are eliminated. Continue around the room until there is one group remaining. You may want to count to 5 instead of 10 to speed it up at the end. After the first round, select another word with every team back in the game at the beginning of each new round.

Possible words include:

• Walk • Home • Happy • Girl • Blue • Love • Time •

The Tongil Manual 123

Telephone Charades Objective To allow people to come out of their shell and have fun doing it

Group Size 10 or more

Materials A list of funny scenarios

Description Divide the group into teams of 4 or 5. Select one group to go first and ask all but one member of that group to leave the room, making sure they cannot hear what is going on. After all but one member of that group has left tell that remaining member (with the other teams listening) a scenario. For example, “You are at a party and go to the bathroom, but when you try to flush the toilet clogs up and over flows.”

Next, tell the rest of the group waiting outside to come back and have them form a line facing away from the team member who heard the scenario. The first person (the one that knows the scenario) taps the second person in line, who then turns around, and acts out the scene for the second person. The other remaining member must face the other direction so they cannot see what is going on.

Then after the first member has acted out the scene the second member turns and taps the third member and they face each other. The second member then tries to reenact what they remember of the scene the first member showed them. This trend continues until it reaches the last member, who tries to guess what the scene was. If they do not get it right then the 4th member tries to guess, if this fails then the third member tries, and so on until someone guesses it or gets fairly close. If the 5th member guesses right it’s worth 4 points. If the 4th member guesses right, it’s worth 3 points and so on.

Once the first group is done the next group tries a different scenario. The team with most points wins.

Some possible scenarios are:

• A ballet dancer rips her tights • Spider man swallows a bug while flying through the air • Superman breaks his car • A mime gets caught in a box

The Tongil Manual 124

What Can You Do With This? Objective For people to begin to feel comfortable around one another and for everyone to give input when in a group discussion

Group Size 4 or more

Materials Any odd object you can find Paper Pens or Pencils

Description Select an odd object prior to the activity that can be used to do many different things – a stapler remover, a wire whisk, kitchen tongs, a strainer, or anything else. Place the object in a paper bag.

Divide the large group into teams and give each team a piece of paper and pen or pencil. Pull the object out of the bag and say, “Each group needs to make a list of all the things that this object can be used for – and be creative!” Give a time limit of five to fifteen minutes, and at the end of the time period ask the groups to come back together and have one representative from each team share his/ her team’s list with the larger group.

To make this game more competitive it is possible to award points for each original use or idea for the use of that item.

One variation to this game is to have the group break into pairs, with each pair getting an odd item. The pairs take turns coming up with a use for their item (with a twenty second time limit), and if they cannot come up with a use their pair is eliminated. The last pair left wins.

The Tongil Manual 125

Personal Trivia Objective To learn interesting, little known fact about each other so group members can become more comfortable around one another

Group Size 4 to 20 (or a larger group can be broken into smaller groups for this activity)

Materials One 3x5 index card or small piece of paper per person Paper Pens or pencils

Description Pass out the index cards and pens of pencils to the group members. Each person must write down his/her name and five little-known facts about him/herself. Once this is done, collect all of the cards. Read aloud the facts found on a single card, but do not reveal whose card belongs to. At this point other group members try to guess whose name is on that card.

It is best to have each card numbered and ask group members to write down whose card they think was just read on a piece of paper next to the corresponding number. This way, when the lasts card is read, people cannot simply figure out who it belongs to through process of elimination.

After reading all the cards once through and allowing people time to write down their guesses, read them again and ask each person to acknowledge which card was their own and to give themselves a point for each correct guess.

One variation to this game is to have specific questions on the card, and one or two little known facts.

Possible questions on this for this card include:

• What is one movie you really enjoyed? • What is your favorite quote? • What is one kind of food you will never eat? • What would you prefer for breakfast? Cereal, Fresh Fruit, or Waffles?

The Tongil Manual 126

Guess Who Objective To become more familiar with one another once everyone already know each other’s names

Group Size 8 or more

Materials Sticky name tags or masking tape Pens

Description Hand out the name tags and ask each person to write down his/her name on their own tag. Then collect all the tags, mix them up, and put one tag on each person’s back without letting them know whose name you are placing on their back.

Each person must then mingle with the other group members and ask different people yes or no questions to try and find out whose name they have on their back. If the group is very large then only allow people to ask one question per person.

Once a person correctly guesses the name that is on his/her back they may put it on the front of the shirt.

If this activity is followed by an activity that requires the group to form a circle, one idea is to have the group sit in a circle by sitting to the right of the person who is wearing their name tag.

The Tongil Manual 127

Objective For group members to learn each other’s names

Group Size 12 or more

Materials Paper Pens, Pencils or Colored Markers

Description Ask group members to break into small groups by finding people who have the same number of letters in their first name as they do. For small groups you may have to balance out the number of people in each group before the rest of the activity by moving people from a large group to a small group. For really large groups you may want to ask them to get into groups based on the number of letters in their full name.

Once small groups have been formed instruct each group to first create a banner that contains all of their names. Each person must then find an object in the room that starts with the same letter as the first letter of his/her name. After finding the objects the group must work together to create a song, rhyme, rap, story, etc. that contains every person’s name and each object that was found.

After all the groups have completed the task, allow time for each group to share creations and present their story, song, rhyme, etc. with everyone else.

The Tongil Manual 128

Four Corners Objective To increase group interaction, mix people up, and help people learn more about one another.

Group Size 8 or more

Materials 4 large sheets of paper Marker One die with the 6 and 5 covered up

Description In a large room or gym, place one sheet of paper on each corner. Write different number in each corner (1 through 4) so that everyone can see. To start the game, gather the group together in the middle of the room and point out the four corners. Read one of the sets of choices and ask people to go to the corner that best represents them (see list of suggestions below). After the question have been read, everyone goes to the corner of their choice and once there they may talk about why they chose that corner with the rest of the group.

Once everyone is in a corner, roll the dice (with the 5 and 6 covered) and whatever number it lands on is the “unlucky number.” Everyone in that corner is eliminated and must move to the side. (It is also possible to have a “lucky number” and that corner stays while everyone else leaves the floor.) Continue in this manner until a handful of people remain and declare them the winners.

Suggestions 1. Are you most like 1. summer 2. winter 3. spring 4. Fall 2. Would you most likely watch 1. the news 2. sports 3. cartoons 4. a soap opera 3. Would you most likely be found drinking 1. soda 2. juice 3. coffee 4. Water 4. Would you most likely be found in a 1.sailboat 2. canoe 3. yacht 4.ski boat 5. Are you more like a 1.potato 2. banana 3. bowl of spaghetti 4. piece of pie 6. Would you most likely be found in 1.sandals 2. bare feet 3. high heels 4. tennis shoes 7. Where would you most like to go on vacation 1. tropical island 2. ski resort 3. amusement park 4. campground. 8. Would you most likely listen to 1. country 2. alternative 3. Rap/hip-hop 4. Pop music 9. Would you rather eat 1. worms 2. rocky mountain oysters 3. snails 4. cockroaches

The Tongil Manual 129

Name Balloon Pop Objective To become familiar with each other’s name

Group Size 12 or more

Materials Balloons (all the same color is best) Small strips of paper Pens or pencils

Description Divide the group into two or more teams of six or more people each. Each team must select the person in the group who has the easiest name to remember. After this, each team sits in a circle and everyone (except for the person who was selected) is given a balloon, slip of paper and pen or pencil. Everyone, now writes down his/her name on the paper, puts the slip of paper into his/her balloon, then blows it up and ties it. Each team piles all of their balloons in the middle of their circle and mixes them up.

The person on each team who had the easiest name to remember starts the game by selecting a balloon out of the pile. This game is a race. On the signal “go”, the person holding the balloon must pop it anyway he or she can and then call out the name that is inside on the slip of paper. The person whose name was called then must grab a balloon and do the same. Continue in this until all the balloons have been popped. The first team to finish wins.

The Tongil Manual 130

Mafia Objective To have fun and get to know one another

Group Size 15 to 40

Materials CD player with speakers or some sort of device to play A deck of cards Scary music

Description Tell the group to sit in a circle, with one person designated as the narrator (preferably someone who has played the game or someone who is a good storyteller). Next, explain the game to everyone else.

In this game there are four different types of people: a killer, a cop, a doctor, and a civilian. These rolls are represented by certain types of cards. A King represents a killer, an Ace is a cop, a Jack is a doctor, and a number card is a civilian. Once this has been explained, count how many people are in the group and start to compile the same amount of cards. The number of killers, cops, and doctors should vary based on the size of the group. For example, a group of 20 people should have 3 killers, 2 cops and 1 doctor, while a group of 30 people there should have 4 killers, 2 cops, and 2 doctors. Pass out the cards accordingly so everyone has a card and tell the group to keep the card and not to show it to anyone.

The way the game is played is that when the music starts and the lights go out all the people must put their heads down and close their eyes. The narrator will ask all the killers to raise their heads, and the killers must then point unanimously to one person they want to “kill”, after the narrator sees who this is the killers can put their heads down. Then the narrator will tell the cops to raise their heads and point to who they think the killer is. Then put their heads down. Finally, the doctor(s) will raise their heads and point to who they think was “killed,” then put their heads down. Afterwards, the narrator will stop the music and tell an elaborate story of what happened, who was killed, if the cops spotted a killer, and if the doctor was able to save the person. If a person is killed they must leave the circle and watch from the side. Following that, there is a discussion by everyone living as to who they would like to illuminate from the game. Once 3 people have been nominated (a vote and a second) as suspected killers the narrator tells everyone one to put their head down and vote for the person out of the 3 nominated that they think is the killer. Whoever has the most votes is executed and must sit on the side.

The Tongil Manual 131

The goal of the game as a civilian, cop, or doctor is to catch and detain/kill all of the killers before everyone dies. As a killer, the objective is to kill everyone and be the last one standing.

There is a lot of strategy involved in this game but it should be a lot of fun.

There are many variations that people can play based off of this simple game.

One variation is to have a “God Father” for the killers. Once per game, after one killer has been caught, the “God Father” may recruit one new killer from anyone in the game.

The other variations on this game work by including new types of cards and roles into the game. These roles work by adding new stages to each round. For example, after the killers go, the witch goes, and after the witch the cops go. Some example roles include:

• Hunter/Gunman: When this player is removed from the game, he or she may take one person of their choice out of the game with them.

• Witch/Voodoo Doctor: This may once per game transfer the death of a person to someone else (when someone is about to die, they may choose someone else to die instead.)

• Spy/Detective: This player may keep his or her eyes open throughout the course of the game. However, if they are spotted by anyone else they are eliminated from the game.

• Disgruntled Mafioso: If this player is killed by the Mafia, this player kills one mafia player.

• Snitch: If this player is not killed in three rounds they are told who one mafia member is. If this player survives six rounds, they discover a second mafia member. (The number of rounds may change depending on the size of the group.)

The Tongil Manual 132

Pictionary Objective To have fun

Group Size 4 or more

Materials The game Pictionary

Description Split the group into two teams and then play the game of Pictionary.

The Tongil Manual 133

Purpose: The purpose of a teamwork game is to allow the group to tackle a tough challenge together. Through teamwork games participants learn about their own personalities as well as the personalities of others. Often during the activities participants don’t realize they are learning anything until the discussion afterwards. That is why the discussion is a critical part of any activity.

The Tongil Manual 134

Marshmallow Soak’Em Objective To increase to comfort level in the group through fun interactive play

Group Size 20 or more is ideal

Materials 2 bags of large marshmallow

Description Divide the group into two teams and give each team a bag of marshmallows. The playing area should be a large open space with a line across the center to divide the field of play into two areas. Each team is on a different side and cannot cross the line to the other side. On the signal “go” the members of each team try to eliminate the members of the opposite team by hitting them with marshmallows. If a marshmallow hits a member of the opposing team, that member is out. When a person catches a marshmallow the first person who was out gets to go back into the game (exactly like dodge ball). The object is to eliminate the other team entirely.

The Tongil Manual 135

Piggyback Tape Pull Objective To create an atmosphere among group members that is fun, wild, and interactive

Group Size 8 or more

Materials 1 roll of masking tape

Description Break the group into pairs and ask them to select one partner to ride piggyback on the other partner. Place a piece of masking tape on the back of each person who is riding piggyback. The tape should be about four inches long, and the game works best if the end is folded over to create a tab that is sticking out.

Designate a playing area that everyone must stay in for the game. On the “go” signal each pair tries to grab the tape off anyone they can while at the same time protecting their own tape anyway they can. Once your tape is pulled off, the pair must leave the play area and can watch the rest of the game. The game is over when one pair remains in the middle with tape on the back and with everyone else eliminated.

The Tongil Manual 136

Dragon Tails Objective To foster teamwork in a fun way

Group Size 20 or more

Material A bandana or small clothe

Description Break the group into teams of six to eight participants and tell each group to line up and place their hands on the person in front of them. Next, tell the last person in each line to place the cloth in their back pocket or in the back of their pants. When the game begins the teams must move around, staying connected, and try to grab other team’s tails. Only the head (person in front) is allowed to grab a tail from another team. If the head grabs a tail and is not fully connected then it does not count. Once a tail is grabbed from a team that team is out. The game continues until there is one team left.

Discussion Questions 1. How did you feel being if front? 2. What was is like being the tail? 3. What did it feel like being in the middle? 4. Do you think you could have done something differently?

The Tongil Manual 137

Who’s the Leader? Objective: To have fun

Group Size 10 or larger

Materials A pillow Source of music (mp3 player, stereo, etc)

Objective Gather the group and send one person out of the room so that they cannot hear what is being said. Next, select one person in the group to be the leader and tell the rest of the group that they are to follow the movements of the leader. Start by clapping and bring the person who was sent out back in. The person who was brought back in walks around the group and tries to figure out who the leader is. Once they think they have found the leader they can take a swing at the person with a pillow. This continues until they hit the right person. Then that person is sent outside and the game starts again.

The Tongil Manual 138

Let’s Go This Way Objective To foster teamwork

Group Size 10 or more

Materials A long rope

Description This game is best played in a large open area like a park.

For the game itself, tell the group to get together in a tight clump. Once they have done so tie a rope around the whole group. Once they have been tied together, tell them to start moving to a certain point. Once they have moved to several points, untie the group and have a discussion.

One variation on this game is to have a race with multiple groups navigating through an obstacle course.

Discussion Questions 1. Was it hard to get going? 2. How did you feel in the back? 3. How did you feel in the front? 4. Was there a clear leader? 5. How did you feel being the leader?

The Tongil Manual 139

Newspaper Hockey Objective To mix up the group in a rowdy, fun, and interactive way

Group Size 12 or more

Materials A large pile of old newspapers Masking Tape Plastic baseball, tennis ball, or other ball to act as a puck

Description Divide the group into two teams and give each team a pile of old newspaper and at least one roll of masking tape. Each person needs to take some newspaper, roll it up and tape it so it can be used as a hockey stick. Mark off a large area inside or outside that can be used to play hockey with two small goals.

The group is now ready to play newspaper hockey. The game may be played with one or more plastic baseballs and the objective is to score points by knocking the ball through the opposing team’s goal.

The Tongil Manual 140

Water in the Face Objective To bring laughter to a group, and for everyone to participate in a fun, interactive game

Group Size 10 or more

Materials Paper Cup Jug of water (or other water source) Towels

Description Gather the group into a circle where people can stand or sit. Ask for a volunteer to stand in the middle and give the volunteer a paper cup with a small amount of water in it. The person in the middle must select a category (i.e. type car, color, kind of cereal, candy, etc.) and tell the group what the category is.

The person in the middle then secretly thinks of an item in that category (this person may have to whisper into the ear of the instructor to make sure that they do not cheat.) Each person in the circle takes a guess at what the person is thinking of it that category. Each person gets one guess and cannot say anything that has already been said. As soon as someone correctly guesses what the person was thinking of, the person in the middle throws the water in his or her face!

The person who guessed correctly then gets to be the one in the middle with the water and may select a different category. Start with the person in the circle whose turn it was supposed to be next and move on around the circle until someone else gets water thrown into his/her face.

The Tongil Manual 141

Toilet Paper Wrap Objective To play a crazy game as a team that is fun and an easy way to start using teamwork

Group Size 6 or more

Materials 1 roll of toilet paper per team

Description Divide the group into teams of three to eight members each and give each group one roll of toilet paper. Give the groups tem minutes to decorate one member of their group using the toilet paper. The person may be decorated with anything the group comes up with – nurse, sailor, statue of liberty, tree, etc. Encourage the groups to be creative and hold a fashion show at the end with each group explaining its creation.

The Tongil Manual 142

Human Knot Objective To promote teamwork and working together

Group Size 10 or more

Materials None

Description Break the group into group or 10 to 15 and tell them to get together in a big clump. Then tell them to grab arms with people across from them. They must lock hands with two different people. Then on “go” tell them that they must try to unknot themselves without letting go of anyone’s hand and make a circle, and the team that finishes the fastest wins.

Discussion Questions 1. Were you frustrated? Why? 2. What was the key to your success? 3. Is there anything that you would do differently? 4. Do you feel like there was good communication among your group?

The Tongil Manual 143

Rubber Band Wars Objective To have fun and work together as a team

Group Size 10 or more

Materials Rubber Bands

Description Before the game designate a large area with certain obstacles to hide behind (upturned tables and chairs work great.) Next, draw a center line that the teams cannot cross and scatter a lot of rubber bands all over the playing field. Then divide the group into two teams.

The objective of the game is to get the opposing team members out of the game by shooting them with rubber bands. Once a person is “hit” they must leave the playing area. For variation there are several different scenarios that can be played.

1. Team vs. Team 2. Protect the VIP (designate one team to be assassins whose job is to kill the VIP. Designate one person on the other team to be the VIP and the other team member must protect the VIP. The objective is to get the VIP to a certain point on the playing field.) 3. Free for All (last person in the game wins)

The Tongil Manual 144

Team Musical Chairs Objective To play a fun game in which everyone is included.

Group Size 8 or more is best

Materials A music source (radio, stereo, etc) chairs (one less that the number of people in a group)

Description Set the game up as you would a regular game of musical chairs. Place all of the chairs in a circle facing outward with room for people to walk around the circle of chairs. There should be one less chair in the circle than there are people in the group.

Divide the group into two teams for this game. It is the easiest to play guys versus girls because people need to easily identify who is on which team. Start each round with everyone standing in a circle around the chairs (spread the team members out so they aren’t all standing next to each other) and start the music. Everyone starts walking in the same direction around the chairs until the music stops. Once the music stops, everyone quickly tries to find a vacant chair to sit in. In this game of musical chairs no one ever gets out, but if you are left standing after the music stops the other team gets a point.

Continue to play many rounds of this game, giving a point to the appropriate team after each round.

The Tongil Manual 145

Balloon Stomp Objective To have fun and work as a team

Group Size 10 or more (the more the better)

Materials Balloons 2 two feet of strings for each pair

Description This game must be played in an open field or gym. Divide the group into 4 groups, within the groups divide them into pairs. The pairs must tie one foot with the other member, and one member of the pair must tie an inflated balloon to a free foot. The other member who has a free foot is the “stomper”.

Once the game begins each pair moves around and tries to pop other team’s balloons. The group with the most remaining pairs wins. Once the game is done, switch roles and try again.

Discussion Questions 1. Did you have trouble protecting your balloon? 2. What kind of strategies did you group use? 3. How does this relate to everyday life?

The Tongil Manual 146

Paper Wrap Game Objective To build a teamwork and have fun

Group Size 2 or more

Materials Wrapping Paper Scissors Scotch Tape A small empty box for each pair Pieces of rope or bandannas

Description Break the group into teams of two and tell the team members to face each other and place their arms out. Next, the instructor ties the wrists of each pair together and gives each pair a roll of wrapping paper, some scotch tape, scissors, and a small empty box.

For the activity the pair must wrap the box as nicely as they can while still tied together. The team’s box that looks the best is the winner.

Discussion Questions 1. Were you frustrated? Why? 2. Was there any communication involved? 3. How can you relate this to everyday life?

The Tongil Manual 147

Build It Objective To build a structure as a group without touching anyone else’s building materials

Group Size 2 or more

Materials Building blocks (or other building materials)

Description Prior to this activity, the leader builds a structure out of some blocks and makes a pile of the exact same blocks for the group members to each select one or more of the blocks for themselves until there are no remaining blocks.

Now the group must try to build the structure exactly like the original. Each person may only touch his/her own block/s and none of the other blocks. If at anytime someone touches a block that does not belong to him/her the group must start over.

Discussion Questions 1. How did the group decide how to divide up the pile of blocks? 2. Was this an easy task for the group or difficult? Why? 3. What would have happened differently if everyone could have touched all the blocks? 4. Would this task been easier or harder? 5. Did you have to use patience during this activity? Was this hard or easy for you? 6. When in life do you need to use patience when working with a group of people? Why?

The Tongil Manual 148

Team Card Tower Objective To work together to accomplish a difficult task

Group Size 2 or more

Materials One deck of playing cards per team

Description Divide the group into smaller groups to two to four people each, giving each group a deck of cards. Instruct the group that their task is to build the highest tower of cards they can.

When building the tower, each person may use only one hand and must place the other hand behind his/her back. The teams must start over each time the cards fall. It is a good idea to set a time limit for this activity and see who has the tallest tower one the time is up.

Other variations include starting with both hands free, than half way to the top switching to one hand and comparing the difference. Another way to play the game is to start with one hand behind the back, and then after some time switching to use only the other hand.

Discussion Questions 1. What was needed from you and your team members to accomplish this task? 2. Was anyone frustrated at any time during the activity? If so, how was it handled? 3. How important would you teammate’s help have been if you all could have used two hands?

The Tongil Manual 149

Foothold Objective For the group to learn to work together as a team

Group Size 4 or more

Materials None

Description Break the group into teams of four to eight members. Each team stands in a circle and selects one member to be in the middle. The person in the middle can keep both feet on the ground, but everyone else may only keep one foot on the ground and the person in the middle must somehow hold or carry each group member’s remaining foot (or leg). The challenge for the group is to move as a unit in one direction without the person in the middle dropping anyone’s foot or leg in the process.

Discussion Questions 1. Did one person have to work harder than the rest of your team for your group to be successful? Why? 2. How do you feel when you have to do more work than others who are on your team? Why? 3. How do you feel when others have to do more work in order to make up for you? Is it OK for different people to work harder or less hard when on a team? Why or Why not? 4. What are some things that you can contribute more to than others in the group?

The Tongil Manual 150

Back to Back Objective To learn to lean on one another for support

Group Size 4 or more

Materials None

Description Divide the group into smaller teams of two to three members. Challenge each group to sit down on the floor with their backs to each other, link elbows, and then stand up without unlinking arms. Once a team successfully stands up, they need to find another team that was also successful and for a larger group together, sit back to back, and attempt to stand up all together. The smaller the groups should continue joining together until the entire group is back to back and working together to stand up as one big team.

Discussion Questions 1. Why do you think it is better to start this activity in a small groups? 2. Was it easier at first or harder? Why? 3. Would you rather be on a small team or a large team? Why? 4. How are small and large teams different? 5. When are teams the most effective?

The Tongil Manual 151

Tall Tower Objective For everyone on a team to contribute to the completion of a challenging task

Group Size 2 or more

Materials Varied (see ideal list below)

Description Prior to the activity, gather some supplies together that can be used to make a tall tower. These supplies should not be conventional building material. Some ideas for items are:

• Paper • Raw spaghetti and marshmallows • Gumdrops and toothpicks • Drinking straws and paper clips • Drinking straws and tape • Paper cup and a pack of chewing gum • String, paper cups, and drinking straws

Break the group into teams of two to six members. Give each group a pile of the supplies and challenge them to build the tallest tower they can using only the supplies given to them. Give the group a time limit. At the end of the allotted time, ask the groups to show their creations.

Discussion Questions 1. How did you start the project? 2. Was getting started harder or easier than actually building the structure? 3. Did you have a plan or did everyone just start building? Was your group successful with the strategy that you chose? 4. Did anyone in your group emerge as a leader? If so, how did you feel about this? If not, do you wish someone had?

The Tongil Manual 152

Swamp Crossing Objective To solve problems as a team.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials Pieces of cardboard about 1 foot by 1 foot (larger for adults and smaller for children). A least three 2-liter plastic jugs with water with the lids on

Description Break the group into teams of four to eight people and tell them the following story: “Your group is stranded on an island and you need fresh water. The only water is in jugs on the other side of the salt- water, alligator-infested swamp. You must go and get it. You must do this as a group because the island gorillas are on the other side and are protective of their water but are afraid of large groups. You may use these special floating stepping stones (give them one or two fewer pieces of cardboard than there are people) so that you can move across the water. The stones may be moved only by being picked up and set back down. You may not slide them because this will cause them to sink into the swamp.”

Place the water jugs on the other side of the area and mark off a line that designates the beginning of the swamp. Remember, the group must bring the jugs of water back to the other side before the tasked is finished. If a member touches “the swamp” the group must start over. For added fun you may put soda or other tasty drinks on the other side that group can drink after bringing them back safely.

Discussion Questions 1. Was this activity frustrating for anyone? Why or why not? 2. How did your group decide what to do next? 3. Was anyone more of a leader or did everyone give equal input? 4. What was the easiest part of this challenge? What was the hardest? 5. How did you feel when you had successfully completed the task? 6. Are you on any teams that have had to deal with difficult situations? How does this team handle it and how do you feel about it?

The Tongil Manual 153

Egg Construction Objective For team members to problem-solve when working together.

Group Size 8 or more

Materials Raw Eggs As many different things as you can find that can be used to build as egg protection cover: drinking straws, tape, string, paper, cardboard tubes, popsicle sticks, masking tape glue, etc.

Description Break the groups into teams of four or more members each. Give each team a raw egg and tell them that they must not let their egg break, but they have to do one of the following with their egg:

• Drop the egg from at least eight feet off the ground. • Drop the egg from while the team lies on the ground below – with or without getting platter on! • Launch the egg with a large rubber band

Create a pile with all the gathered materials and let the teams get to work building their “egg protector”. Once everyone has finished the project (or they run out of time), have the groups gather together and put their constructed egg protectors to the test!

One variation off of this is to have one team build an egg crusher, and the other team builds an egg bunker. The first team drops their crusher in an attempt to crush the egg and the second team builds a bunker to protect their egg. When using this mode it is important to limit the amount of resources each team has.

Discussion Questions 1. Was trust involved in this activity at all? Why or why not? 2. How did your group make decisions together? 3. How did you feel about your final product? Why?

The Tongil Manual 154

Lap Sit Objective For each person to do his/her part when working with a group to successfully a task.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials None

Description Start with everyone standing in a circle shoulder to shoulder. Now ask everyone to turn a quarter to the right so that each person is facing the back of the person to his/her right. If there is a lot of space between each person, ask the group to take a small step towards the center while still facing right. Once you are in a tight circle you are ready for the lap sit. At the same time, everyone sits down on the lap of the person behind him/her. If successful everyone will be on his/her neighbor’s lap and no one will be on the ground!

Discussion Questions 1. Did everyone that was in the circle have to participate in this activity in order for it to work? Why or why not? 2. What happened if on person decided not to cooperate? 3. Are you ever in a group where one person doesn’t participate and it affects the entire team? Are you ever that person? 4. How do you feel when you are part of a group that accomplished a task that is difficult?

The Tongil Manual 155

Can Walk Objective To work as a team to accomplish a goal.

Group Size 3 or more

Materials Large coffee cans Rope

Description Gather together large coffee-type cans and punch two holes in the side-walls, opposite of each other near the closed end of the can. Place a thin rope through the holes and tie the rope in a loop that is long enough to hold onto when standing on the can. Make several of these for the group.

Divide the group into teams of two or three and give each team one more coffee can than there are people.

For the activity itself, the teams stand on top of the coffee cans, holding onto the handles and walking. Each person shares the can with his/her neighbor so that they are walking together (with the exception of those who are on the outside edge – the outside foot is by itself on one team).

For an additional challenge, once the groups can successfully walk on the cans in teams of two or three challenge them to walk in as big a group as possible.

Discussion Questions 1. How did you feel when your group was walking together? 2. Was this easy or difficult for your group? 3. What would have made it easier? 4. What would have made it more difficult? 5. What made doing this activity as a team better than doing it by yourself?

The Tongil Manual 156

Cup Stack Objective For people to work together on a fun but frustrating and challenging task without giving up or cheating.

Group Size 6 or more

Materials Scissors

FOR EACH GROUP OF SIX 10 paper cups of equal size one rubber band ( must fit around the cup) 6 pieces of string

Description Prior to the activity cut string into two-foot to three-foot long pieces. Tie six pieces of string to a rubber band (it should look like a sun with six sun rays going out in all directions). Make one of these for each group of six people.

For the activity itself, divide the group into a teams of six (or as close to six as possible) and give each group a stack of ten paper cups and one of the rubber band/string implements that was prepared. Place the paper cups on the table, spread out and upside down.

Challenge the group to build a pyramid out of the paper cups (four on the bottom, three on the next row, then two, and finally one on the top). Group members may not touch the cups with their hands, or any other part of their bodies for that matter, even if a cup falls on the floor.

Each person should hold onto one of the strings that are attached to the rubber band and the group uses this device to pick up the cups and place them on top of each other (by pulling the rubber band apart and then bring it back together over the cups). If there are fewer than six people on any team, some team members may have to hold two strings (this does not make it easier).

Discussion Questions 1. Was anyone frustrated at all during this activity? If so, how was it handled? 2. Why was teamwork so important for this activity? 3. Are you ever in a situation where you must use teamwork? Is this always easy for you? Why or Why not? 4. What are some skills need to be good at teamwork? 5. What did you do today to contribute to the teamwork on you team?

The Tongil Manual 157

Take the Challenge Objective For people to contribute their individual talents and skills to the group.

Group Size 10 or more

Materials Paper Pens or pencils

Description Divide the group into teams of five to fifteen members each (the bigger the teams the better). Give each group paper and a pen or pencil and give them five minutes to come up with five challenges for the other groups to attempt to successfully accomplish. The group creating the challenge must be able to demonstrate that they can do it before another team is challenged. The challenges may be physical (build a pyramid, one person can carry five people, everyone stands on his/her head, etc.), or challenges may be anything else (sing a song from a TV show, do the tango, etc). The challenge must not be obviously impossible for the other groups to accomplish.

Once the challenges are written down, each group gives out one challenge at a time and demonstrates it (this is optional), and then the other groups get a chance to try to accomplish this task in a given amount of time. You may give points to teams who can “take the challenge” successfully.

Discussion Questions 1. Was it easy for your group to find things that everyone could successfully do? Why or why not? 2. Did you have to rely on the talents of the group members? 3. Did any team feel like it was hard to find talents within your group? If so, why? 4. How much do you rely on the talents of others or of yourself when you are in a group? 5. Do you always let your talents be known? Why or why not?

The Tongil Manual 158

The Great Shoe Tie Objective For team members to help one another during a challenging task.

Group Size 6 or more

Materials Masking Tape Optional: Rope or string

Description Ask everyone to unfasten their own shoes. Instruct the group to stand in a clump as close together as possible (everyone’s feet should be together and there should be no open space left on the ground at all).

The leader then take the masking tape and makes a tight circle around the group on the floor, leaving no space for the group to move at all. Challenge the group to tie or buckle everyone’s shoe without anyone falling out of the circle. (If anyone does fall out of the circle, the whole group must start over). If the group can do this easily, one may tie some rope around the group at the waist level and give them the same challenge again.

Discussion Questions 1. Did anyone fell uncomfortable with being close to each other? Why or why not? 2. Did you need to help each other, or did everyone do his/her own thing? 3. Are you in any close group that you work with? If so, how do you feel about this? If not, do you wish you were in more close groups?

The Tongil Manual 159

Sneak a Peek Objective For each person to do his/her part when solving a problem as a group.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials Building blocks or something similar (i.e. Lego’s, Popsicle sticks, etc.)

Description Build a small sculpture or design with some of the building materials and hide it form the group. Divide the group into small teams of two to eight members each. Give each team enough building materials so that they could duplicate what you have already created.

Place the original sculpture in a place that is hidden but at an equal distance from all the groups. Ask one member from each team to come at the same time to look at the sculpture for five seconds in order to try to memorize it as much as possible before returning to his/her team.

After they run back to their teams, they have twenty-five seconds to instruct their teams how to build the structure so that it looks like the structure that has been hidden. After the twenty-five seconds ask each team to send up another member of their group who gets a chance to “sneak a peek” before returning to their team. Continue in this pattern until one of the teams successfully duplicates the original sculpture.

Build different sculptures for any additional rounds of this game.

Discussion Questions 1. What part of this activity involved teamwork? 2. What did each person in your group do to help? 3. Why is teamwork important when working with a group? 4. What are some important elements of teamwork? 5. How can being good at teamwork help you in your daily life?

The Tongil Manual 160

Push and Pull Objective For group members to figure out how to work together rather than work against each other.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials None

Description Divide the group into pairs (the closer in physical strength people are to each other, the better) and ask each pair to face each other and to reach out their right hands. Each person grabs his/her partner’s hand by making a C shape with their fingers and hooking hand with their thumbs loose.

The Object of this activity is to demonstrate how people work against each other when they should be working together (but don’t tell the group this). Once everyone is hooked up with his/her partner, tell them, “The object of the game is to touch your partner’s right shoulder with your hands that are locked (no letting go)”. Then say, “The way to win this game is to get the most touches, so make sure and count each time you touch your partner’s shoulder.” Most people will think that they are going against their partners and will be pushing against each other, but really the team with the most total touches wins!

After one minute, ask each team how many touches they had total and declare the winning team the one with the most touches.

Discussion Questions 1. Why were you working against each other during this activity? 2. Did any team work with each other to get as many points as possible? Why? 3. Do you usually work against people when you are on a team or with them? 4. What happens when people are working against each other but are on the same team? 5. What happened when people work with each other when they are on the same team?

The Tongil Manual 161

Our Hands Are Tied Objective To help one another when presented with a challenging task.

Group Size 3 or more

Materials None

Description Everyone takes off their shoes, places them in a big pile, and then stands in a circle around the shoes. Challenge the group to hold hands in a circle and for each person to retrieve his/her own shoes, put them on and tie or buckle them without anyone letting go of the hands they are holding onto!

You may do this in separate teams as a race for added fun and competition.

Discussion Questions 1. Did your teammates work with each other or against each other? Why? 2. What was the hardest part of this activity? 3. How was communication a factor in this activity? 4. Why is communication important when working with others? 5. Do you feel that you communicate well with others? How does this affect your life?

The Tongil Manual 162

Points of Contact Objective For a group to communicate and problem solve when given a challenging task.

Group Size 6 to 20 is ideal

Materials None

Description Mark off an area with two lines about then yards apart. Challenge the group to get from one line to the other using limited “points of contact”. A point of contact is any part of a person’s body that is touching the ground (foot, hand, etc.). Allow the group a specific number of contact points (a good number is the amount of people in the group minus on to three depending on how hard you want to make the challenge). For instance a group of eight might get five points of contact.

The group must move as a unit, and once a foot or other body part touches the ground, that foot or body can be used over and over again and it counts as only one point of contact.

Discussion Questions 1. Did anyone want to give up at anytime during this activity? Why or why not? 2. Did you have to attempt this challenge more than once before you were successful? 3. What happens if you are on a team and you want to quit or give up? 4. Is the rest of the team affected by your actions when you are on a team? 5. How can you affect a team in a positive manner?

The Tongil Manual 163

Puppet Show Objective For a group of people to pool their resources and be creative when solving a problem.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials A table or large desk that you cannot see under (use a tablecloth or sheet if necessary) Paper Pens or Pencils

Description Divide the group into teams of two to eight people each and give each group paper and a pen or pencil. Each group needs to create a short puppet show to be performed for the rest of the group. Each person must participate in his/her own team’s puppet show. The group must create the puppets out of whatever they can find (socks, hats, hands, etc.) For added fun, it is possible to a pile of odds and ends for them to use. After a given amount of time use a desk or table for the stage and ask each team to present their unique puppet show.

For added team-building you may ask the group to create a puppet show about the group itself and to include any observations the team has about the group as a whole.

Discussion Questions 1. Is it easy or difficult to be creative when with a group of people? Why? 2. What part of this activity did your group have the most trouble with? Why? 3. What part of this activity was easy and went smoothly? Why? 4. Was communication important for this activity? 5. What is the most important element of communication when working with any team?

The Tongil Manual 164

Flip Objective For everyone on a team to do his/her part when solving a problem.

Group Size 10 or more

Materials One or more large tarps, old sheet, or blanket

Description Find a tarp (or old sheet or blanket) that is large enough for the whole group to stand on while leaving about a quarter of it empty. (If the group is large, break it into smaller teams.) Once the group is standing on top of the tarp, challenge them to completely flip it over so that everyone is standing on the other side of the tarp. At no time may anyone get off of the tarp or touch the ground during the activity.

Discussion Questions 1. Did anyone get in your way during this activity? 2. How did you come up with a plan with such a large group? 3. Did anyone emerge as a leader? Who and what did they do? 4. Do all problem-solving activities need a leader? Why or why not? 5. Do you feel like more or less a part of the group after doing this activity? Why?

The Tongil Manual 165

Circle Walk Objective For a team of people to work together under challenging circumstances.

Group Size 6 or more

Materials None

Description Have the group stand in a circle shoulder to shoulder. Tell everyone to reach between their own legs, and join hands with their neighbors on both sides. The group will end up in a squatting position and connected in an awkward manner. Now, challenge to group to move in a circle to the right, completely around so that everyone ends up in the same spot that they started in – without anyone letting go or falling over!

Discussion Questions 1. Was this easy or difficult for you individually? 2. Was this easy or difficult for the group as a whole? Why or why not? 3. Do you ever feel like you affect what the rests of a group does? 4. Is this a positive thing or a negative thing for you? Why? 5. How do you use teamwork to overcome differences people have when working together?

The Tongil Manual 166

Earthquake Escape Objective To build trust and to learn to work together in a situation in which people’s abilities and needs are different.

Group Size 6 to 10 participants (or break large groups into small groups or 6 to 10 each)

Materials Cardboard Small flat wood pieces Cloth Strips Cotton Balls

Description Explain to the group that there has just been a major earthquake and that many of the group members have sustained injuries. Select different group members to have different injuries and instruct them to act out these injuries during the course of the activity. Some possible injuries are: deaf (cotton balls in ears), blind (blindfold), unconscious (cannot move), and broken bone (with a splint made of cloth and cardboard/wood).

Once each person is set up with his/her injuries tell the group that they just got word that they are expecting aftershocks and they are in a dangerous area and must move to safety. Designate an area that has been declared safe at least twenty yards away. Prior to the activity, set up obstacles such as tables, overturned chairs, and other objects between the danger zone and the “safe area”. The group must move everyone to safety without causing any further injury.

For added fun it is possible to make up funny handicaps. For example: hears voices, talks to self, mumbles a lot, or cannot stop dancing.

Discussion Questions 1. How did you feel when helping others get you to safety? 2. How did you feel if others had to help you? 3. Do you have any disabilities that require you to accept help from others? If so, how do you deal with this? 4. How do you react to someone else who is working with you who has a disability that requires your help?

The Tongil Manual 167

Shoe Tie You Bother Me Objective For people to help one another and to build communication and problem-solving skills among group members.

Group Size 8 or more

Materials None

Description Divide the group into two or more teams of at least four people on each team. Everyone must lie on the floor as a group with legs in the air (no wearing skirts or dresses for this one!) On the “go signal, each team tries to get all their shoes on their team untied before one of the other teams does. No using hands during this activity, and your feet must stay off the ground. (If anyone has a double knot in his/her show it may be untied before the game begins and made into a single knot.)

Discussion Questions 1. Was this activity frustrating for anyone? If so, how did you teammates help you? 2. Could you have done this challenge by yourself? Why or why not? 3. What did you do to help each other? 4. Are you on any teams in your life in which you rely on others for help and others rely on you? If so, does your team help each other or work against each other? If not, would you like to be on this kind of team?

The Tongil Manual 168

Create a Country Objective For people to get together as a group and participate in a group discussion.

Group Size 2 or more

Materials Paper Pens or Pencils Colored Markers, colored pencils or crayons

Description Divide the group into smaller groups or two to ten members each. Provide each group with the following information and all the materials listed above.

“You and a group of people have claimed an uninhabited island as a new country. You have been selected to be the new government. Your first assignment is to make the following decisions and accomplish the following tasks…”

Name the country Create a national past time Nickname of the country Create any laws that are necessary Design a License Plate Governmental positions for each person Design a flag Write a national anthem Choose a national bird Form alliances and enemies with other nations Choose a national flower

The group must work together to complete as many tasks as possible, and then present it to rest of the groups at the end of the activity. This activity may take more than one session to complete or you may wish to have the group simply select the things from the list that they can complete in the time given to them.

Discussion Questions 1. How were decisions made in your group? 2. Is everyone happy with what was decided? Why or why not? 3. What things are important to remember when making group decisions? 4. What role do you usually take when making decisions with others? 5. Why is it important to be able to make decisions as a member of a group?

The Tongil Manual 169

Group Transformation Objective To work as a team to create a group sculpture that includes everyone in the group

Group Size 4 or more

Materials None

Description Create a list of objects that a group can create a sculpture of using only their bodies. Each sculpture must include everyone in the group and may be moving or stationary. Some sculpture ideas are typewriter, computer, semi-truck, bulldozer, sink, helicopter, food processor, and shower.

For added fun it is possible to have the teams build the same thing at the same time and see who finishes first.

Discussion Questions 1. Did everyone fell included in this activity? Why or why not? 2. How did you decide who did what in your group? 3. How do you usually make decisions when with a group? Is this a good or bad way? Why? 4. What are some good ways to make decisions as a group?

The Tongil Manual 170

Radio Broadcast Objective To show teamwork by working together as a group to create a radio broadcast. To promote group bonding by sharing what it is that people how and observe about each other.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials Paper Pens or Pencils

Description Divide the group into a least two smaller groups with two to six people on each team. Give each group a list of the names of the people on one of the other teams and instruct them that they must create a radio broadcast about that group and give them the following specific instructions.

“As a group you have twenty minutes to create a radio broadcast about the events and activities that have occurred over the past couple of days (or whatever you choose to use). You may include poems, sound effects, songs, weather, sports cast, etc. You must include an update about each person from the other group who is on the list you were given.” (Please note that these broadcasts should be something that nobody will be offended by.)

Give each group a place to work that is separated from the other so they can work without being heard. After the twenty minutes are up bring the groups back together and ask them to present their radio broadcast.

Please note that most radio stations hire and use a wide variety of staff, as such each person on the team should have a portion of the broadcast. For example, one radio show could include a host, a series of guests, commercials, and a band. Another example could be a news program with two hosts, a weather man, a sports reporter, an outside expert, and commercials.

Discussion Questions 1. Was everyone included creating your broadcast? If so, why? If not, why? 2. How did each person contribute to the final product? 3. What can you do if you find yourself on a team or in a group that you don’t want to be a part of anymore because you don’t agree with what they are doing? 4. Do you have a group or team in your life that you feel proud to belong to? Why?

The Tongil Manual 171

Team Score Basketball Objective To use every member of your team to accomplish a group goal.

Group Size 6 to 10 is ideal or you can split them into smaller groups

Materials Basketball Basketball court

Description Divide the group into teams of no more that 5 per team. Play basketball by normal rules. However, in order to win this game each and every person on a team must score one basket, and no more than one basket.

If the game goes quickly then change the rules so a point is scored each time every person on a team successfully scores a basket.

Also, please note that this game can be played with any competitive game where scoring occurs.

Discussion Questions 1. How was this different from a normal basketball game? How was your participation different? 2. Was this harder or easier and why? 3. Is it hard sometimes to include everyone? Why or why not? 4. Why is it important to include others? 5. How can you help to include others or include yourself in an activity?

The Tongil Manual 172

Paper Tower Objective To work as a part of a team and to problem solve as a team, and to learn how to continue an activity even when it is frustrating.

Group Size 2 or more

Materials A large stack of 8x11 pieces of paper

Description Divide the group into teams of 4 to 10 people, and give each team a stack of about 15 sheets of paper. Next, instruct the teams that they must build the tallest tower that they possibly can, using only the paper given to them. No tape, gum, paper clips, etc. are allowed.

There are many different way this activity can be done, but we find that the best is to give the teams a realistic but challenging goal to reach. For example: stacking the tower five sheets high.

Hint: There are many ways to build a paper tower but one of the better ways is to fold each piece into three sections then up the paper slightly and stack them on top of each other or place a horizontal sheet between each stacked paper.

Discussion Questions 1. What steps did the group take in order to solve this problem? 2. Did everyone contribute? If so, how? If not, why? 3. Did anyone in the group get frustrated at any point? If so, how was it handled? 4. What things did the group do to show teamwork? 5. When in your life is it important to use teamwork?

The Tongil Manual 173

Purpose: One of the most important dynamics of a group is trust. Once a group has developed trust for one another they will be able to accomplish great things and be able to learn so much more. These game are designed to encourage participants to learn to trust one another.

The Tongil Manual 174

Trust Fall Objective To learn to trust your group members.

Group Size 6 or more

Materials A sturdy table about 4 feet off the ground for each group Mattresses Optional

Description Divide the group into teams of 10 people (there should be two fairly strong people on each team), and then instruct each group to go to a table. One at a time each group member falls backwards and the rest of the team catches them.

Make sure you instruct each “faller” to fall back as straight as possible and cross their arms during the fall. If they flail their arms they might hurt one of their team members. The rest of the team will stand face to face with their arms out and palms up. Then the faller will say “are you ready” and the rest of the team will respond “yes”. Then the faller will say “falling”. And proceed with the fall. This is done until everyone has had a turn.

For an added degree of safety, put a mattress or cushion under the falling person.

Discussion Questions 1. Did you trust you team to catch you? 2. How does it feel you trust your team with your safety? 3. Did anyone have trouble trusting their team? Why? 4. How does trust play a role in our everyday life?

The Tongil Manual 175

Balance Me Objective For team members to learn to give and accept support from one another.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials None

Description Divide the group in two teams. Both teams should stand in a line, shoulder to shoulder, and facing each other at about three feet apart. Challenge the group to lean on each other and support each other’s weight without falling. Each person holds up his/her hands with palms facing the opposite team. Everyone must fall forward and lean on each other’s hands for support. Each person’s right hand should be on the right hand of the person across from them, and their left hand should be leaning on a different person’s left hand. The people on the ends will have one free hand. All legs should be straight with no bent knees.

To make this more challenging, set marks of where they must stand. The group may practice in smaller groups and/or at a closer distance before attempting the challenge.

Discussion Questions 1. Was this harder or easier than it seemed? 2. How was teamwork a factor in this activity? 3. How did the group go about successfully accomplishing this challenge? 4. What did you learn about each other as a result of this activity?

The Tongil Manual 176

Shoe Pile Objective For group members to build trust and communication skills.

Group Size 6 or more

Materials 2 blindfolds

Description Ask everyone in the group to take off his/her shoes and to put them into a big pile. Ask for a volunteer and blindfold that person. Mix up the shoes in the pile and ask the rest of the group members to verbally direct this person to his/her shoes. The directions must be purely verbal without any touching, guiding, or moving of the shoes. Once the person finds his/her shoes he or she must put them on while still blindfolded.

For added fun divide the group into two teams and time each group as they guide their own team members through the shoes.

Discussion Questions 1. How did you fell when you were blindfolded? 2. Could a person easily find his/her own shoes without any help from the group when blindfolded? 3. How was teamwork a factor in this activity? 4. How does this activity relate to your own life, if at all?

The Tongil Manual 177

Cannon Ball Objective To start building trust among group members.

Group Size 10 or more

Materials Blindfolds Balled up newspaper with masking tape wrapped around it

Description This game must be played in a wide open area. Before beginning the game scatter the balled up newspapers in masking tape around the area. Next, break the group into pairs, and explain the rules of the game.

Each group will be broken into pairs, and each pair will have one member who is blindfolded (the cannon) and the one person who can see (the aimer/shield). The person who can see has three jobs. The first job is to tell their cannon where to go to collect more ammo, the second is to tell the cannon where to throw their ammunition (both of these can only be done through voice commands), and the third job is to block shots from the opposing teams. The person who can see is not allowed to touch the cannon. The job of the cannon is to throw cannon balls and hit the other team’s cannons. After being hit, the cannon and his or her aimer/shield is out for the round. The last team standing wins (teams are comprised of multiple pairs.)

Once the game has ended switch roles and play again.

Discussion Questions 1. Did you trust your partner? 2. As a spotter did you really care for you cannon? 3. What did it feel like running around completely blind?

The Tongil Manual 178

Gladiator Objective: To learn to trust your team mates.

Group Size 15 or more

Materials Newspapers Cardboard Blindfolds Scissors Masking Tape

Description Divide the group into teams of 5 to 8 people. Assign each person in the team a number 1 through however many people are in a group. Then give each team a designated amount of card board and a good amount of newspapers, and tell them that they must make a shield and helmet and sword (or other weapon). Give them about 30 minutes to complete the task.

Next, gather everyone into a large area (a portion of it should be taped off to form an arena.) Then select a number and the person designated that number in each team will put on a blindfold, take up a weapon, shield, and helmet. Then each suited up person will enter the arena. Begin and tell each team the only way to guide their member is through vocal commands. The rest of the team must stay out of the designated fighting area. Once a person is hit they are out. If the shield or the helmet is hit, the person is still in the game. The object is to eliminate everyone in the round by hitting them with the created weapon. Continue to play rounds until everyone has had a chance to be the gladiator.

For additional fun organize a championship round where the champion of each round faces off to see who is the supreme gladiator.

Discussion 1. Did you trust your team? 2. Was it hard to hear what your team was telling you to do? 3. Did you feel confused at anytime? 4. How would you improve if you could play this game again?

The Tongil Manual 179

Trust Tag Objective To build trust among group members

Group Size 8 to 20 is ideal

Materials Blindfolds

Description Divide the group into pairs and ask one person from each pair to be blindfolded. Designate a playing area that the group must stay in for the game and select one pair to be “it”. Those who are blindfolded play a game of tag while their partners verbally guide them during the game. The sighted partners must keep their blindfolded partners safe and try to guide them away from the person who is “it”. If your partner is “it”, your job is to guide him/her towards the others.

Only verbal guidance may be given with no touching allowed (unless necessary for the safety of your partner or others). Everyone must stay in the designated playing area for the game. If your blindfolded partner is tagged then they join the “its”. Sooner or later there will be a lot of “its” and very few non-“its”. Last team left that is not tagged wins.

Once then game has ended. Switch roles and play again.

Discussion Questions 1. Did you trust your partner? 2. Was it harder to be the leader or the blindfolded person? 3. Do you have trouble trusting other or do you trust everyone? 4. Is trust important when you are working together with others or in a relationship with others? Why?

The Tongil Manual 180

End Over End Objective To build between team members and two work together.

Group Size 10 or more

Materials Optional: a stiff plastic or metal chair Cushion or Mattress

Description Start by explaining the activity and then ask for a volunteer. The person who volunteers stands straight with their hands across their chest. The challenge for the rest of the group is to turn this person end over end and back to a standing position safely.

This may also be done while the person sits in a chair, only the person holds onto the seat of the chair while the group turns the person and the chair end over end.

For additional safety put a mattress or cushion under the chair or person being turned.

Discussion Questions 1. If you were the person who was turned end over end, how did you feel about this? 2. Did you trust your team members? Why or why not? 3. Did everyone in the group have to contribute? Why or why not? 4. Are you ever on a team where the safety of others is in your hands? 5. Are you trustworthy? Why or why not? 6. Why is trust important when you are a part of a team?

The Tongil Manual 181

Crossing the Line

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME UNLESS THE GROUP HAS BUILT A STRONG LEVEL OF TRUST AND UNDERSTANDING!

Objective To give people a chance to share the feeling and emotions with one another.

Materials Something to make a line (ex: a long piece of string)

Description This activity is designed to give people a chance to share and understand one another. The real object is to show second generation that we are all going through the same thing. To start this activity, tell everyone to stand on one side of the line. Then briefly discuss that everything that happens in the room will stay in this room. Also stress the fact that if someone feels uncomfortable sharing they are not obligated to participate. Next ask a question, and everyone who agrees with the statement crosses the line. Before moving on to the next question ask if anyone would like to share their experience with the group.

We strongly suggest starting off with easy questions such as, “Cross the line if you have ever felt lonely.” Gradually ask harder questions. Listed below are some suggestions. Afterward gather the group and reiterate that we are all in this together and here to support one another. It is also strongly recommended to give people adequate time to digest what has happened. Also instruct the group leaders or youth ministers to seek out people who seem distraught and share with them more intimately.

Suggestions Cross the line if you…

- Have ever felt judged in the church - Have ever lost a best friend - Ever been hurt by someone you loved - Wondered why you parents joined this church - Contemplated leaving the church - Have ever drank alcohol, or-done drugs - Contemplated committing suicide

The Tongil Manual 182

Communication

Purpose: Communication is one of the most important skills anyone can learn in life. In these games, participants will learn the importance of listening and using the right words to communicate what they really want.

The Tongil Manual 183

Blind Square Objective To accomplish a challenging task using verbal communication.

Group Size 4 to 20 is ideal

Materials A long piece of rope or string tied together at the ends to form a loop Blindfolds

Description Blindfold everyone in the group and place the rope (with the ends tied together) at their feet of the group members. Challenge the group to form a square out the rope. Once the group thinks it has created a square, allow everyone to take off their blindfolds and to look at what shape they actually created. You may do this with other shapes and letters too.

It is also possible to videotape the group without them knowing it. Show the tape to the group after the activity is over and observe the different roles people took on during the activity.

Discussion Prompts 1. How did you start this activity? 2. Did anyone emerge as a leader? If so, why – and why didn’t others take a lead? 3. Do you tend to lead or follow when in a group? Why?

The Tongil Manual 184

Twenty-one Objective For team members to problem-solve and to communicate non-verbally with one another during an activity.

Group Size 6 to 27 is ideal

Material None

Description Divide the group into two or three teams of three to nine participants each. Each team appoints a “counter” who will add up the number of fingers held up by the group.

Prior to giving the directions of the game, instruct the group that there is no talking allowed for the remainder of this activity, with the exception of counting by the team “counter”. The “counter” may participate or watch.

Each team stands in a circle, facing each other, with their hands behind their backs. The leader counts “one, two, three” and on “three” each person holds out zero to ten fingers together equal to exactly twenty-one, everyone immediately puts their hands back behind their back and continues to play until one team comes up with twenty-one. Remember, no talking! Also, note that the same person should not hold up the same number more than two times in a row.

Discussion Questions 1. Was it hard not to talk? 2. How did you communicate since you couldn’t talk? Or did your team just hope to win through luck? 3. What happens when you are on a team and there is a lack of communication? 4. Now do you deal with a group of people who have trouble communicating?

The Tongil Manual 185

Line up Objective To communicate with each other in a unique way.

Group Size 8 or more

Materials Blindfolds

Description Gather the group together and ask everyone to close his/her eyes (or use blindfolds). Instruct the group to arrange themselves into a line, using any of the following criteria. For added challenge, give the group a time limit.

Please note that group members may only communicate verbally, and they may not touch one another.

One variation for this game is to give different people within the group different handicaps. For example, some people may be blind, others may only have one leg, and others may not be able to talk.

Line Up Ideas • Shortest to tallest • By birth dates • Number of letters in your full name (shortest name to longest name) • Number of people in your immediate family ( smallest to biggest) • By first letter in your name (alphabetical)

Discussion Questions 1. Did one person act more as a leader in this activity? 2. It is sometimes necessary to have a leader? 3. What happens when everyone acts like a leader? 4. What happens when everyone waits for someone else to lead? 5. Are you more a leader or a follower? Do you like being in this role, or do you want to change? Why?

The Tongil Manual 186

Sounds Around Objective For people to recognize how much they rely on the sounds around them and to understand how important it is to listen to one sound without being distracted by all the other different sounds.

Group Size 1 or more

Materials Paper Pen or pencil

Description The leader has a piece of paper and a pen or pencil so s/he can make a list of all the sounds that the group hears. If possible start out inside and ask the group to listen carefully and identify any sounds they hear. The leader then adds each new sound mentioned to the list. Then go outside if possible and continue to add to the list while taking a walk. After ten to twenty minutes of this activity you will probably have quite an extensive list.

Gather the group together for discussion afterwards and discuss the wide variety of sounds that are constantly going on around use and how difficult it may be to focus on one important sound at a time.

Discussion Prompts 1. Were you surprised by the number of sounds you heard? 2. Did you hear sounds today that you don’t usually notice? 3. What is the difference between hearing something or someone and listening to someone or something? 4. Do you feel that you are good listener? Why or why not? 5. How can you focus on one sound when there are many different sounds going on around you at one time?

The Tongil Manual 187

Mystery Object Objective For participants to show good listening skills when listening to a conversation.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials None

Description Select two individuals who must secretly select an object in the room. In attempt to get the rest of the group to guess what the object is, they must carry on a conversation about the object without directly saying what it is. Meanwhile the rest of the group is listening and attempting to identify the mystery object.

Once the group has correctly guessed the object, select two more individuals to select a new object and start a new conversation.

Another variation on this game is to allow the people who are describing the object to pick any object anywhere, another idea is for the instructor to write down objects on a sheet of paper and have the participants select the objects from a hat.

Discussion Questions 1. What did you have to do in order to figure out what the object was? 2. Were you able to detect what the word was by reading body language? 3. When is it important to listen to others? 4. Why should you listen carefully to others when they are talking?

The Tongil Manual 188

Crazy Sentence Objective To you good listening skills in order to win the game.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials Paper Pens or pencils 2 chairs

Description Prior to this activity write down two dozen sentences that are grammatically correct, crazy, and random. Then write each sentence on a small piece of paper. Some examples are:

• “My prom date had a large tattoo” • “Big Bird is my idol” • “The blue cow swam over the moon” • “It is good to eat spiders and caterpillars for breakfast” • “Rubber bands stick on the ceiling on Christmas Day”

Be creative and come up with many more. Also, prior to the game set up two chairs in front of the room.

For the activity select two people from the group and ask them to sit in the chairs at the front of the room. Give each person a piece of paper with one of the crazy sentences on it. The two players must silently read the sentence and then engage in a conversation. Each player attempts to state his/her sentence in the course of the conversation. The object is to slip in the sentence without the other person guessing what it is.

In order to make this game more interesting one may wish set a topic for the conversation, such as fishing, country music, bowling, or buying shoes. Give a five minute time limit, and allow the audience to guess the crazy sentence. Whoever guesses correctly is then given the opportunity to play the game in the next round.

Discussion Questions 1. What did you have to do in order to detect the hidden sentence? 2. When do you use your best listening skills? Why? 3. When is it important for you to show good listening skills?

The Tongil Manual 189

Crazy Comic Objective To communicate ideas with others and make group decisions based upon discussion.

Group Size 3 or more

Materials Paper Pens or pencils Colored markers, crayons, or colored pencils

Description Divide the group into smaller teams of three to six participants. Supply each person in each group with a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Instruct the group that they are to create an original comic strip and each person in the group must draw one frame of the strip (if there are four people in a group, the comic strip will contain at least four frames). The group must decide what to draw, the story line and who will draw what.

Everyone should be drawing at the same time and not taking turns with their group members. One possible variation is to not allow group members to see each other’s papers when they are drawing.

After the comic strips are completed, allow time for sharing and give each group a chance to show their comic strip to the other groups.

Discussion Questions 1. What different communication skills were needed for this activity? 2. How important was communication during this activity? 3. Did you comic strip flow? Why or why not? 4. When involved in part of a group process, do you want things to always go your way or do you allow others to contribute? 5. Why is it important to be able to make decisions with other people? 6. What things do you need to do when making decisions with others?

The Tongil Manual 190

Ducks Fly Objective To keep from becoming “it” by listening carefully.

Group Size 3 or more

Materials None

Description Select someone to be “it” and ask s/he to stand in front of the group. This person calls out “Ducks fly!, Seagulls Fly!, Ladybugs fly!, Cows fly!”. Whenever the person who is “it” says an animal that flies everyone in the group must flaps their wing in a flying motion. As soon as s/he says an animal that doesn’t fly, then everyone must stop “flying” and put their arms down on their sides, and whoever keeps “flying” when a non-flying animal in mentioned is eliminated. The game keeps going until one person remains who then gets to be “it” for the next round.

The person who is “it” can say any animals they think of, not just the ones listed, or use any action, such as jump, crawl, roar, etc.

Discussion Questions 1. What did you have to do in this game if you wanted to become “it”? 2. What can you do to help yourself listen to others and follow directions?

The Tongil Manual 191

Talk To Me Objective For individuals to practice listening to directions, and for individuals to show the ability to follow the directions that are given to them.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials Small slips of paper Pens or pencils

Description Divide the group into two teams and write down two sets of directions on two separate pieces of paper (for some suggestions, see below.) Fold each piece of paper in half so that the directions cannot be seen and ask one member from the first team to come forward. This person unfolds the directions and reads it to the second team one time (and no more). The second team must wait for the directions to be read entirely and then as a group they must attempt to follow the exact directions given to them.

If everyone is successful in completing the directions, then the team receives one point.

After the first or second round each team must get together and create a new list of directions to be given to an opposing team. Each set of directions may have no more than three steps (maybe more for higher functioning groups) and must be something that the other group can do safely.

Directions - Everyone has to give everyone else on the team a “high five”, then sit in a circle - Three people on the team must sing the alphabet, and then the whole team must get in a huddle and yell “break”. - The team must form a line from shortest to tallest, and then everyone must stay in the line and as a group jump up and down four times. - One person on the team must do five sit ups while the rest of the group cheers for this person while standing in a circle around him/her.

Discussion Questions 1. How can you show others that you are listening to them when they are talking or giving directions? 2. Did you team help you follow directions or hinder you? Why?

The Tongil Manual 192

Secret Word Objective To encourage conversation among group members and to help people openly discuss how they feel when talking about “secrets” from their own lives.

Group Size 3 or more

Materials None

Description Select one person from the group to leave the room or to go away from the group so s/he cannot hear the discussion. The remaining group members select a “secret” word (this can be any word) and when the individual who left the room returns, everyone attempts to get this person to say the “secret” word.

In order to get the person to say the word the group may ask the person questions, engage the person in conversation, or do whatever else they can think of in order to get this person to say the “secret” word. The individual who doesn’t know the word tries to talk as much as possible without saying the word.

Once the word has been said, select a new person to leave the room for another round of the game.

To add a competitive element time each person and the person who can go the longest without saying the secret word wins.

Discussion Questions 1. Do you wish you had more people in your life to talk to? 2. Do people ever try to get you to say “secret” words? Who? Why? 3. To whom would you tell your secrets and why? 4. Why don’t you share your secrets with others?

The Tongil Manual 193

Purpose: Emotions define as human beings. Yet at sometimes it is very difficult to express and interpret certain emotions. These activities allow participants the opportunity to start to develop these vital skills.

The Tongil Manual 194

Action Emotions Objective To express a wide variety of emotions and to be able to recognize emotions that are expressed by others.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials Paper Pens or pencils

Description Break the group up into smaller teams of two to six members each. Provide each team with a list of emotions (with at least enough for one per person) and a piece of paper with a location listing on it. For example on team may get: happy, frustrated, jealous, and scared with the location of a bowling alley.

Allow five to twenty minutes for each team to meet, look at their list, and create a skit. Each skit must contain all of the emotions from the group’s list (the emotions must be acted out) and the skit must take place at the given location. Also, each person in the group must have a role in the skit that is created by his/her own group. After the allotted time is up, bring the teams back together and allow time for each group to present their skit. At the end of each skit, those who were watching guess what emotions were being acted out.

Discussion Questions 1. Is it easy for you to show your emotions? Why or why not? 2. Does anyone wish that others around them would show their emotions more or less? Why? 3. Why is it important to let others know how you are feeling? 4. Are there times when it is better for you to hide how you feel? Why? 5. What can you do to let others know how you feel (if they can’t tell by your body language)?

The Tongil Manual 195

Emotion Bench Objective To practice expressing feeling and emotions to others.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials 2 chairs

Description In the front of the room set up two chairs so that they are next to each other, and facing all of the participants who should be sitting on the floor, or in chairs, facing the front. Next, select two individuals to sit in the chairs and inform them that they are sitting on the “emotion bench”.

For the activity itself, whisper a different emotion into the ear of each person who is sitting on the “bench”. Each person must act out the emotion they have been given while those in the audience try to guess what emotion each person is acting out by watching the people on the “bench” engage in an impromptu dialog, for which the only rule is that someone must say “hi” first. To make this dialog more interesting the instructor or group may select a location for the “bench” to be located, for example: a bus stop, a movie theater, or a ski slope.

Allow the two people on the bench to dialog for a while before asking the audience to guess the emotions. Those who guess correctly become the next participants to sit on the “emotion bench” (or may select someone else to take a turn if they are uncomfortable with acting).

Ideas for the Emotion Bench

Upset – Excited Agitated – Assertive Frustrated – Self-assured In love – Angry Nervous – Sad Hyper – Insecure

Discussion Questions 1. Was it easy to guess the emotions or difficult? Why? 2. Do you thing people can easily read what emotions you are feeling? 3. Do you want others to know what you are feeling? Why or why not? 4. Can allowing others to know what you are feeling help you? Why? 5. How can you find out what feelings and emotions others are experiencing?

The Tongil Manual 196

Emotions in Motion Objective To show appropriate body language to coincide with a stated emotion and for people to practice showing emotions and sharing feelings.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials None

Description Gather the group into a circle where everyone is standing, and then ask an individual to state an emotion and to act out this emotion through his/her body language (no words allowed). Then the next person in the circle acts out the same emotion in his or her own way. This continues around the circle until everyone has had an opportunity to show the emotion. Continue in this manner with different people choosing emotions that are to be passed around the circle.

Discussion Questions 1. Is it ever hard for you to show your true emotions? Why? 2. Is it always easy to tell what someone is feeling by reading their body language? 3. What is the best way to find out who an individual is feeling? 4. Why is it important for our words to match our actions?

The Tongil Manual 197

Guess the Feeling Objective To discover the importance of stating feelings, and to understand how we communicate our feelings with our body language and actions.

Group Size 6 to 25 is ideal

Materials Paper Pens or pencils

Description Give each person in the group a small piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Select one person in the group, and ask this person to write down how s/he is feeling at the time (this must be done as a feeling word like nervous, excited, vulnerable, etc). Then ask the rest of the group to try and guess how the selected person is feeling and to write down that feeling word on their piece of paper (the paper should also have their name on it.)

The instructor then collects all of the papers and mixes them up and reads them to the group. Then the instructor reads the papers through a second time, asking each person to vote for the one that s/ he thinks was written by the selected individual. For a competitive component it is possible to give a point to anyone who guesses correctly, and give a bonus point to any one who wrote down the correct feeling on his/her paper. Do this for each person in the group if possible.

Discussion Questions 1. Who in the group was the easiest to guess about how they were feeling? Who was the most difficult? 2. Do you thing others always know how you are feeling? 3. Do you hide your feelings from others? Why or why not? 4. Is there ever a time when it may be OK to hide your feelings? If so, when? If not, why? 5. Can others guess your feelings by looking at you? Why is this important to realize? 6. When can showing and stating your feelings help you in your life?

The Tongil Manual 198

Feelings Shot Objective For people to show the ability to appropriately express their feelings and to be able to recognize what emotion is being expressed by others in the group.

Group Size 3 or more

Materials Basketball Basketball hoop

Description Select one member of the group at a time and have them secretly select a feeling or emotion (they may need a list to select from). Once the individual has chosen an emotion give him/her the basketball and instruct him/her to act out this feeling when dribbling the ball and shooting at the basket. Allow the rest of the group to guess which emotion is being acted out and the one who guesses correctly gets to go next.

Discussion Questions 1. Was it easy or hard for you to act out the different emotions? Why 2. Do you show your emotions easily or hide them by acting out other emotions? Why? 3. When is it important to not hide your emotions? Why?

The Tongil Manual 199

Purpose: Adolescence is a vital time where teenagers start to identify who they are. These games are designed to allow teens to think deeply on what really defines them and have fun while doing it.

The Tongil Manual 200

Who Are You at the Zoo? Objective To explore how people are feeling as individuals and as a part of a group.

Group Size 4 to 10 (or a larger group can be broken into smaller groups)

Materials 1 large sheet of white paper for each group colored markers, crayons, or colored pencils Colored markers, crayons, or colored pencils Optional: colored paper, glue, yarn, glitter, ribbons, scissors, tape

Description If there is a large group, divide the large group into smaller groups of ten or less people and give each group a large sheet of white paper, colored markers and/or anything else you have gathered together.

Each groups need to work together to create a zoo on the large piece of paper using the materials they have been given. The zoo should be given a name that reflects the characteristics of the group. Each person should also select an animal or person (zoo keeper, popcorn vendor, animal cage- cleaner, etc.) who is found at the zoo that represents how they see themselves.

Lastly, ask each group to explain their choice of animals and people with the rest of the group. If there is only one group, have each person explain why they see themselves as the people or animals they selected to add to the Zoo.

One alternate way to run this activity is to give very specific directions about what characteristics the animals or characters in the Zoo represent. For example: a church group may be instructed to select animals that represent their relationship with God; and a corporate group may look for things that represent how they feel at work.

Discussion Questions 1. What did you learn about yourself while doing this activity? 2. What did you learn about the group or about other members of the group today? 3. Is there a different animal or person that you would rather be? Why or why not?

The Tongil Manual 201

Group Symbols Objective In order for group members to talk about the strengths and weaknesses they posses and to recognize some of the strengths and weaknesses of the group.

Group Size 2 or more

Materials None

Description Have each person in the group find or think of some object that symbolizes for them how they see the group. Next, have each person find or think of some object that represents their individual role in the group. These objects can be things that can be held in the hand, or they can be things nearby that can be pointed to (clouds, trees, lights, etc.), or something they think of (construction site, bulldozer, lamp, etc). Please allow enough time for everyone to find both symbols.

Once everyone has collected two objects bring the group together and ask each person to share what they have collected, and why those objects represent their group and themselves within their group.

A wonderful way to hold this activity is to go for a walk as a group, and point out or take objects while walking.

Discussion Questions 1. Discuss each symbol after it has been shared by allowing people to ask questions about what each person shares.

The Tongil Manual 202

Same Letter, Different Name Objective For group members to recognize the positive traits that exist in the other members.

Group Size 4 to 25

Materials Paper Pens or pencils A timer or stopwatch An envelope filled with the letters of the alphabet (written on small slips of paper)

Description Divide the group into two even teams and ask each team to write down on one piece of paper all the names of the people on their team and on the other team. Once all the names are written down select a letter of the alphabet from the envelope. Next, inform the teams what letter was chosen and give them two minutes to work as a team to think of a positive word or words beginning with the chosen letter that describes each person on their sheet. For example, if the letter H was chosen and the names John, Amy, and Craig were on the list my team may come up with:

John: Hard Worker Amy: Honest, Humble Craig: Handsome

Once the time limit is up bring the two teams together and ask them to each read their list to the group. For added fun and competition it is possible to give each team a point for every word on their list that isn’t on the other team’s list.

Play as many rounds of this game as there is time for and hold a short discussion after each round (it is also possible to forgo the smaller discussions and just have one discussion at the end.) With a large group do not include every team on the list, instead just think of words to describe the members of some of the teams. Also it is possible to select 2 or 3 letters at a time.

Discussion Questions 1. How do you feel about the words that were chosen to describe you? 2. Were you surprised by any of the words used to describe you? If so, why? 3. Is it easy or hard to think of positive words to describe others? Yourself? Why?

The Tongil Manual 203

Snowball Fight Objective To allow group members to anonymously share their thought and feelings with each other.

Group Size 8 or more is ideal

Materials Paper Pens and pencils

Description Give every participant a piece of paper and pen or pencil, and then ask them to write down the answer to a question you will soon ask on this piece of paper. Possible questions include:

• How you feel when you are a part of this group? • How are you feeling right now? • What do you do when you become really angry? • What makes you feel really sad? • What are the strengths and weaknesses of this group?

Make sure nobody puts his/her name on the papers because everything should be anonymous.

Once everyone has finished writing, tell the group that they will be having a snowball fight and to crumple up their papers and, on the count of three, start throwing. After the snowball fight has gone on for a while, yell “stop,” and ask each person to pick up one “snowball.” Gather the group together and ask group members to take turns reading the paper that they ended up with to the group. You may discuss each response that is read or wait until all the papers have been read before having a discussion.

If there is enough time, it is possible to have more than one round of snow ball fights (each round should only have one question.)

Discussion Questions 1. What did you hear that surprised you? 2. How do you feel about what people shared today? 3. How did you feel about the way you shared your feelings? 4. Does anyone want to comment on or add to what was said?

The Tongil Manual 204

Group Sculptures Objective To learn how different members of the group view the dynamics of the group.

Group Size 6 or more

Materials None

Description Group members take turns “sculpting” the other group members into a life-size sculpture that represents how they see the group dynamics and personalities. This is done by positioning each person into a pose or place in relation to the others in the group.

Once everyone is in place the person who put them there explains why they see the group that way. For example someone might group three friends together and put others spread out across the room and explain that the three people are so close that others feel left out.

The next person may see the group dynamics differently and have those three people mixed in with others in the group or spread apart.

For small groups give everyone a chance to make a sculpture, and for larger groups have a handful (3-5) of people create a sculpture as a team.

Discussion Questions 1. Why do you see the group differently? 2. Do you feel this was a healthy activity for the group to do? Why or why not? 3. How do group dynamics affect the team? 4. What if everyone on the team was exactly the same? 5. What re the positive dynamics of this group?

The Tongil Manual 205

Award Ceremony Objective For group members to affirm one another

Group Size 2 or more

Materials A large stack of old newspapers Scissors Tape

Description Put stacks of old newspapers in the middle of the floor and have group members sit in a circle around them, then tell the group that each person must create a trophy for the person to his/her right. This trophy should be made out of newspaper, and should reflect the positive qualities of the person it is for. Participants may fold, crumple, or tear the newspaper to create their trophy.

Once everyone has created a trophy for the person on his/her right, hold an award ceremony. One person at a time stands up and explains what the trophy is, who it is for, and why this person deserves this award.

Discussion Questions 1. How does it feel to be recognized for the good things that you do? 2. How does it feel to give compliments to others? Why don’t we do this more? 3. How would it benefit out group to complement each other more?

The Tongil Manual 206

Choices Objective To encourage group members to talk about their perceptions of the group and themselves.

Group Size 2 or more

Materials None

Description Give the group members two choices, and ask them to select the choice that they feel best represents the group or themselves. For example: “When this group is making a decision, is it like (A) a river or (B) a lake?”

Next, designate a place in the room for all those who selected A, and a place on the opposite side of the room for the people who select B. Once people make their choices ask some members of the group to explain why they chose what they did. You may do several rounds of this with different choices to select from.

Create more choices to fit your group’s needs, issues, and experiences. It is our experience that using metaphors is a good way to get people to talk about group dynamics in an indirect and non- threatening manner.

Some Group Choice Ideas When this group must complete a task is it more like (A) a sloth or (B) a cheetah? Would you describe your leadership skills as (A) a hammer (B) a nail? Would you describe you following skills as (A) thunder (B) rain? Would you say this group is (A) balanced (B) off balance?

The Tongil Manual 207

Group Labels Objective To talk about how we treat one another in the group.

Group Size 6 or more

Materials Sticky back labels Black marking pens

Description In order to prepare for this activity spend some time filling out sticky-back labels with titles like the ones suggested below.

Choose a game for the teamwork chapter, or you may choose another game such as volleyball, basketball or a board game. Before playing, put a label on each person’s forehead or back. They must wear the label throughout the game, and people must treat them as they would treat someone with that label in real life. Do not tell the players what label they are wearing and instruct the group to not directly or indirectly say the name on the label. After the game give each person a chance to guess what label they were wearing and have them tell how it felt to be treated the way they were.

Different groups need to deal with different types of labels; you should fill out your labels based on your group’s needs.

Teenage groups may deal with cliques such as: jocks, nerds, popular, druggie, cowboy, etc.

This also works for different culture groups or society stigmas, like: Latino, Asian, African Americans, Caucasian, Jew, Christian, Muslim, woman, man, famous person, homeless person, person with AIDS, etc.

Discussion Questions 1. How do you feel after this activity? 2. What surprised you the most? 3. Do you think that in our culture people threat others who are different form them differently? Why or why not? 4. How do these differences affect our group?

The Tongil Manual 208

Glory Story Objective To encourage people to complement one another, and to have class/group mates share what they see as the positive traits of the class/group.

Group Size 2 or more

Materials Paper Pens or pencils

Description Divide the class into small groups of one to six participants and separate the groups so that they cannot hear each other. Then supply each group with a few sheets of paper and a pen or pencil. Once this is done, assign each group to one of the other groups and ask them to write down all of the names of the people from that other group on their paper.

Finally, ask each group to write a story that includes all of the members of the other group as the characters, with each character in the story using his/her positive traits, strong points, and assets as a part of the story line. Once all the stories are written, ask each group to read their story to the entire group.

If any of the groups are outgoing enough they may present their story as a play or skit.

Discussion Questions 1. Were you surprised by any of the attributes that the other group gave to your character? 2. Can you think of any more positive traits that you would add to your character or to anyone else’s character in the group? 3. How can you use your strong points to improve the group or to improve yourself?

The Tongil Manual 209

Our House Objective For group members to share how they see others in the group and what role they think each person has on the team.

Group Size 6 to 20 is ideal

Materials Stack or 3x5 index cards Tape Scissors Pens or pencils Optional: Colored markers and glue

Description This can be done individually or in small groups.

Give each group, or person, a stack of 3x5 cards, tape, scissors, and a pen or pencil. Each group or person must then create a house out of the cards by taping, folding, cutting, or anything else they can think of to do the cards in order to form a small model of a house.

If a group is used, each person in the group should somehow be represented in the construction of the house by having his/her name written on a part of the house that reflects his/her role in the group. For example: someone who is a good leader may be the foundation of the house, while someone who welcomes newcomers may be the door to the house.

If there is time, encourage the students to make and have people be the artifacts found within the house. For example: a comfortable chair, lamp, or phone.

When each group or individual has completed their house encourage the groups or individuals to share about their house, the struggles they had in building it, and any insight they may have learned during the activity.

The Tongil Manual 210

Be a Light Objective To talk about the group/class in a fun, descriptive, and non-threatening manner.

Group Size 2 or more

Materials None

Description Gather the group together and ask people to take turns answering the question: “If the light in our office (schoolroom, family room, youth group room, etc.) could talk, what would it say about our group?” Do several rounds of this and replace the word “light” with different objects that the group comes in contact with frequently.

For example, “If the kitchen sink in the church could speak, what would it say about us?”, or “If the computer in my house could speak, what would it say about me?”

Discussion Questions 1. Allow group members to ask questions about the answers given and hold a group discussion about any unusual or interesting answers.

The Tongil Manual 211

Will Away Objective To explore the positive characteristics that each person in the group has, and to encourage the students to think about the people in their lives and the different positive characteristics that they notice in them.

Group Size 1 or more

Materials Paper Pens or pencils

Description Start the activity by explaining what a will is and how it is used to ensure that a person’s valuables are passed on to the important people in his/her life after his/her death. Next, ask the group to think about the qualities and attributes that they have, and that they feel are valuable, and to think about who it is that they would want to pass these traits on to if it were possible. Lastly, pass out paper and pens or pencils and instruct the group that they are to draft a will stating what their positive traits are and who they would like to give these traits too (and why.)

For example: “I give my football skills to Sung Hoon so he can be a better player. I want to give my sister my patience, although she has a little she could use some more. Finally I give Yongil my good looks because the good lord knows he needs it.”

Allow ten to fifteen minutes for people to think about and write down their wills, and then ask each person to share their will with the group. For added fun you may make an official looking seal or get a sticker to put on it when it has be completed.

Discussion Questions 1. Was it easy or hard for you to think of attributes that you have that would be of value to others? Why? 2. What does your will say about you and the people that you know? 3. What trait does someone else have that you know you would like to have passed on to you? Why?

The Tongil Manual 212

Spirit World

Purpose: These games allow participants to see how spirit world affects their lives.

The Tongil Manual 213

Spiritual Influence Objective To show the importance of spiritual influences

Group Size 3 or more

Materials Candy A blindfold

Description Select three from the class and then send out one of three selected into an adjacent space where they cannot hear what is being discussed by the rest of the class, next Select one of the two remaining people and designate them as an “evil spirit” and the other as a “good spirit”. Once this is done, take the original person that was selected and blindfold them, and lastly place a piece of candy somewhere in the room.

The purpose of this game is for the blindfolded person to find the candy, and they do so by following the advice of the two designated spirits. The “evil spirit” attempts to guide the blind folded person away from the candy, while the “good spirit” tries to lead the blind folded person to the candy. (The “spirits” can only guide through voice commands, they cannot touch the blindfolded individual, and the person who is blindfolded does not know which person is the “good spirit” and which one is the “evil spirit.”)

If the person cannot find the candy within one minute then the “evil spirit” gets to keep the candy, and if the person does find the candy then he or she may keep the candy. Once the person has retrieved the candy select three new people and try again.

Discussion Questions 1. How did if feel having two people giving you completely different directions? 2. How can we differentiate between good and bad spirits? 3. How does this relate to spirit world’s influence on us?

The Tongil Manual 214

Purpose : Prayer is a vital part of everyday life. These games allow participants to see how prayer works in a fun, engaging way.

The Tongil Manual 215

Prayer Toss (aka: Candy Toss) Objective To show how prayer gets easier as you keep trying.

Group Size 4 or more

Materials A big bag of M&M’s Small Dixie Cups

Description Break the group into pairs and instruct each pairs to line up across from one another at a distance of about 15 feet apart. Next give one of the members of the pair a Dixie cup and the other member a handful of M&M’s, and then instruct the pairs to toss an M&M into the cup. Every time the M&M lands, and stays, in the cup the thrower can take a step forward. This happens until the thrower can reach out and put an M&M into the cup.

Once this has been accomplished the pair switches roles and tries again.

Discussion Questions 1. Do you feel that prayer is important? Why? 2. How does this relate to prayer? 3. What can you do in order to deepen your prayers?

The Tongil Manual 216

Anger Management

Purpose: The purpose of the anger management games is to allow kids the opportunity to see how anger affects relationships and how to deal with it properly.

The Tongil Manual 217

Out of Control Objective For people to realize that they cannot control everything in their lives and that they must learn how to deal with things that seem out of control, rather than giving in to anger and frustration.

Group Size 4 to 15, or split the large group into smaller groups

Materials Several small prizes (any items the group members would like) wrapped in wrapping paper Two dice

Description Prior to the activity gather together some small prize items and wrap them. There should be at least one prize for each participant, plus a few extra. Place all of the prizes on a table and gather the group around the table.

Instruct the group that the game will be played in two different rounds (do not explain the second part until the first part is completed). In the first round one person starts rolling the dice. If s/he rolls a double then s/he may select a prize from the pile, unwrap it, and set it on the table in front of him/her for the rest of the group to see. If a double is not rolled then the dice is passed to the next person, who then rolls the dice. Everyone in the group continues to roll and pass the dice (and collecting prizes on a double) until all of the prizes in the middle are gone. In the end one person may end up with two or three prizes while others may end up with nothing.

Introduce the second part of the game at this point. This half is timed (for a smaller group use about five minutes and about ten minutes for a larger group.) The game is played in the same manner as it was for the first part only now instead of selecting a prize from the middle when a double is rolled, a prize may be selected from anyone else in the group. This continues until the allotted time is up. Again some people may end up with more prizes than others.

For a less expensive variation on this game, use small candy bars instead of presents.

Discussion Questions 1. What do you do when “the luck of the roll” does not always go your way? 2. Do you feel like you have control over your life? 3. How do you handle things when life feels out of control or unfair? 4. Does anyone feel angry about this game? If so, how have you handled this feeling? 5. What can you do when life feels unfair and things do not go your way?

The Tongil Manual 218

Mad Music Objective To explore feelings that different people have when angry and explore how music can affect these feelings.

Group Size 1 or more

Materials A stereo, tape player, or CD player A selection of Rock, Rap, or any kind of music that has a negative message. Paper Pens or pencils

Description Prior to this activity gather together a selection of songs that have a negative message or story in them.

Gather the groups together and explain to the groups that they will be listening to different songs, and tell them that you want them to draw a picture of what the song is about, and of what the person singing the song must look like, or how they are feeling while listening to the music. Do not inform the group that the songs are all about negative topics. After listening to all the music, allow for each person to share the feelings that they had written down on their paper before asking the group the discussion questions.

Discussion Questions 1. Did any of this music make you feel good? Why? 2. Can your environment affect how you feel? 3. How can your choice of music affect your life? 4. Do you think you need to change the type of music that you listen to? Why or why not? What would you like to change it to?

The Tongil Manual 219

Good, Bad, and Ugly Objective To determine positive ways of handling anger as opposed to negative ways

Group Size 1 or more

Materials 3x5 cards or small pieces of paper Pens or pencils 3 small boxes

Description Give each person in the group a pile of 3x5 cards or small pieces of paper and a pen or pencil. Then write on the three boxes good, bad, and ugly.

Next read a scenario to the group that you know the group will get angry about and ask them to write three solutions to the problem, one of them good, one bad, and one ugly. Do this for several scenarios and then read all the cards in the boxes. After each solution has been read ask if anyone has solved a problem that way and how it turned out.

Discussion Questions 1. What did you learn as a result of this activity? 2. Do you tend to express your anger in a good, bad or ugly manner most often? Why? 3. Which way works best for you? Is this a good way? 4. What would be the best way for you to handle your anger?

The Tongil Manual 220

Blank Sheets

Purpose: We have attached several blank templates for people who want to create or write in their own activities.

The Tongil Manual 221

Name:________________________________________________________ Objective

Discussion Questions 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

The Tongil Manual 222

Name:________________________________________________________ Objective

Discussion Questions 1. 2. 3. 4. Name:________________________________________________________

The Tongil Manual 223

Discussion Questions 1. 2. 3. 4. Name:________________________________________________________ Objective

The Tongil Manual 224

Discussion Questions 1. 2. 3. 4. Name:________________________________________________________ Objective

The Tongil Manual 225

Discussion Questions 1. 2. 3. 4. Name:________________________________________________________ Objective

The Tongil Manual 226

Discussion Questions 1. 2. 3. 4. Name:________________________________________________________ Objective

The Tongil Manual 227

Discussion Questions 1. 2. 3. 4.

The Tongil Manual 228

Name:________________________________________________________ Objective

Discussion Questions 1. 2. 3.

The Tongil Manual 229

4. Name:________________________________________________________ Objective

Discussion Questions 1. 2. 3. 4.

The Tongil Manual 230

Appendix A: Leading Discussions

It has been our experience that one of the backbones of a good education system is a guided discussion. After teaching for many years we have found that discussions are the best way for our students to learn because it puts them in an environment where they are not just passively listening, but actively learning, also, when discussing it is much easier to keep the topics relevant because each person is usually sharing from his or her personal experience.

Since this is the case, guided discussions are a big part of most of the lesson plans we have talked about through the course of this book. However, since leading discussions is not something that comes naturally to most people we have tried to compile our thoughts and experiences on leading discussions into an appendix that will hopefully help others lead discussions.

What is a discussion? The first thing that we would like to clarify is what a guided discussion is.

A guided discussion is a discussion that has a person acting a moderator in order to guide the discussion towards some eventual goal. The way this differs from a normal discussion is that normal discussions tend to meander around because they do not usually have someone monitoring them to make sure that certain questions are answered, and certain objectives are reached.

What is a moderator? In a Sunday school classroom all discussions and lessons center around an idea or lesson (if they don’t they really don’t belong in a classroom.) However, as with any type of conversation, discussions tend to meander and wander unless there is a guiding force keeping them from going on random tangents. This driving force is what we call a moderator.

A moderator is the person who monitors and guides the discussion. Asks questions when there is too much silence, asks if others have an opinion when one member is talking too much, and calls the session to an end when the time has run out.

The moderator in a discussion is like the captain of a ship, and the members in the discussion are kind of like a ship’s crew. Sticking with this analogy, if the captain of a ship runs around hoisting sails and scrubbing decks than most people would think that there is something seriously wrong with the way the ship is being run. Likewise, if the moderator in a discussion is answering all the questions and doing all the talking then there is something missing.

The Tongil Manual 231

Ideally speaking, all a moderator should do is guide the ship and motivate the crew, which of course means to keep the discussion on course and encourage people to talk.

Responsibilities of a moderator With this in mind, we believe that the responsibilities of a moderator are:

• To keep the discussion on course

• To encourage people to talk

• To make sure nobody gets hurt

• To ask questions that guide the group towards the answer

• To answer the questions if no one else can

To keep the discussion on course The first responsibility of a moderator is to help keep the discussion on course. Without such a guiding force any discussion can quickly fall off course and branch off into many seemingly random topics which have nothing to do with what is being discussed. Since, the discussion is supposed to lead somewhere it is important that the questions and conversation go in the basic direction of wherever the discussion is supposed to lead to.

For example, if a team is having a discussion on the importance of abstinence before marriage, then they should probably not be talking about the game they saw on TV the night before. Instead, they should probably be talking about why abstinence is hard, and more importantly, why marriage is worth the wait.

Doing this is of course a full time job. In our experience we have found that it only takes a second for someone to say something that sparks an opinion that has nothing at all to do with the topic being discussed. For example, if one member remarks that purity is like a treasure that one can give to his or her spouse, another member may off handedly remark that the treasure may be like a box of gold. This may in turn lead to a discussion on what type of treasure purity is, which may in turn lead to a discussion on jewelry or clothes. Trust me; it has happened to us before.

Another important thing to remember when trying to keep a discussion on course is to monitor how often a person talks, and for how long they talk. Some people love to share their opinions, and that is wonderful. However, a discussion requires input from many sources, and

The Tongil Manual 232

when one participant takes too much time it becomes much harder for the other members of the discussion to keep their interest.

When this happens, our experience has been that the best thing to do is ask that person to summarize their thoughts in a single sentence. Our experience has been that just telling them to stop is just as bad as letting them continue talking, instead we have found it hurts the speaker’s feelings a lot less when one asks them to summarize or conclude their thoughts so someone else can share. The reason why is because most people who talk a lot know that they talk a lot, and are apologetic about this part of their nature.

A second thing to watch for is when people start to go into stories, make sure that the purpose of the story is clearly stated at the end. If this is not done then the rest of the group has no idea why the story was being told.

Finally, when the discussion starts to wander too far off the topic, gently remind the group that they need to refocus their discussion.

To encourage people to talk The second job of a discussion moderator, and possibly the hardest, is encouraging the participants within the discussion to talk. This is vital because if nobody is talking, then there can be no discussion, which equals a bunch of people sitting around and saying nothing. This of course is a waste of time.

It has been our experience that the easiest way to keep a discussion going is to ask questions, however from time to time there are groups where the people only give one word or one sentence answers, or groups where the people have little or no opinion. When this is the case we have found that the best approach is to ask a very basic question and go around the group, and then when a person gives a short answer ask them to go into more detail. By asking follow up questions it not only pulls more information out of the participants but it also forces them to be more involved.

An example of this may be if there was a discussion about what God is like, and someone says that God is mean and spiteful. This is a perfect opportunity to ask the participant why he or she feels this way, and what personal experiences he or she has had that leads him or her to feel this way. Then when she talks about how mean people are, ask her why that is God’s fault and not the people’s fault.

This basic approach to getting people to talk has served us faithfully for years.

The Tongil Manual 233

Another wonderful way to encourage a discussion is to get opinions from the rest of the group about an answer someone else in the group gave. For example, if someone else in the same discussion as above says that they believe that God is very artistic, this is a perfect opportunity to ask the rest of the group if they agree or not, and then maybe to around the group and have each person give his or her opinion, and why.

Hopefully with enough time and experience the students realize that they can discuss without the instructors constant supervision. This is of course the ideal because it means that a discussion needs almost no input from the moderator.

One important thing to remember is that encouraging is not the same thing as forcing. As instructors we have sat through many discussions, and we have seen people cross this line too often. The simple truth is that some people just do not want to talk. In this case a gentle encouragement may help, but forcing people rarely ever works, and it makes people feel uncomfortable.

When in a situation like this, we believe that the best thing to do is find out why the person does not want to talk. If the person just does not like talking, then maybe there is nothing that can be done. We had a situation like this in Colorado, where one of the brothers just would not talk period. With this being the case we just skipped over him during discussions, and to his credit he always came and listened.

To make sure nobody gets hurt The third responsibility of a moderator is to make sure nobody gets hurt.

As was mentioned in the section about encouraging people to talk, we as educators cannot force people to do things they will not do. It has been our experience that doing so often creates barriers that push people away. This of course is a fine line because as educators we also need to push our students to grow, so deciding when to push is something that comes with much prayer and experience.

As a rule of thumb we have found that when people are not willing to do things, the best place to deal with the problem is after the discussion on a one to one basis. The key is to approach the person who does not want to talk with humility and sincerity, and with a strong desire to help them.

This approach is helpful because instead of building walls it focuses on building bridges, and helps make connections between students and teachers so that both feel comfortable sharing

The Tongil Manual 234

when they want to. As a rule of thumb we have found that it is fine to push the students a little, but when push comes to shove, it is better to not shove.

Another key point in making sure nobody gets hurt is to make sure the members of the group do not attack one another. Remember, this is a discussion, not an argument. The moment attitude and negative emotion start creeping it, the moderator has to kill it.

For example, if there is a discussion about an activity that just happened where a team lost because someone in that team tripped, it is possible that during the discussion that team may want to vent some of its frustration. As a moderator it is important to make sure that the team understands that the friendship and unity of the team is more important than winning a game and saying mean or spiteful things is a childish and pointless way to express one’s disappointment.

Most importantly a moderator must make certain that everyone feels as if they had a chance to say what they feel, and that the things each participant brought up were at least considered and listened to. This of course does not mean that everyone has to agree with what everyone else says, it just means that everyone should have a chance to voice their opinion. The importance of this is that it helps to show the person speaking that they are not being judged.

To ask questions that guide the group towards the answer The next responsibility of a moderator is to ask the right kinds of questions. This is important because what a moderator primarily does is get people to speak by asking questions.

Our belief is that the questions that are asked should be open ended enough for people to give different answers, but also guided enough that the answers given help move the group towards the right conclusions. Sometimes the questions should be obvious, other times tricky. This is a skill that comes from practice, and is something that is hard to write about.

The only real way to learn this is to watch a skilled moderator and see how he or she leads a discussion. What kinds of questions he or she asks, and the way in which he or she keeps the group on task.

To answer the questions if no one else can Finally, as a discussion leader a moderator should have the answers to the question he or she is asking.

The Tongil Manual 235

Often times during a discussion, especially with younger students, a question will come up that the students cannot answer. If this is the case the moderator should be able to give the students the answer, or at the very least point them to a source where they can find the answer.

This does not mean that as a moderator one should shy away from asking hard questions, or questions one does not know the answer too, but it does mean that before asking a question one should think deeply about it. If there really is no clear answer than there is no problem in saying so. Also, it is better to tell the truth than lie. For example, if a moderator asks a question asking the students how God created the universe, then the best answer to give may be a simple “I have no idea.”

In general, we have found that when there are hard questions the best way to find the answer is to ask around and pray. With the advent of the internet research is vastly simplified, and by asking the advice of experts one can more readily find answers for one’s students.

Frequently Asked Questions Just knowing the responsibilities of a moderator is not quite enough, there are all sorts of tips and tricks that make things a little easier. Certain problems are almost certain to come up, and we would like to take some time to give our insight on solutions to these problems.

How do you run a discussion? Essentially we sit everyone down and make sure that they are comfortable. Once everyone is comfortable we just ask them a question, and see where it goes from there. In general we have found that the more natural it the environment is, the better it is because if the students feel comfortable they are more likely to talk, and if they trust each other they are willing to share more personal and relevant things.

Don’t worry if the first few discussions aren’t deep at all, it takes time. Not only do the students have to come to trust one another, but they need to familiarize themselves with the system.

What is the purpose of a discussion? The purpose of a discussion is to facilitate learning by giving a forum for the students to teach one another. Most students know at least parts of the answers to the questions to everyday life, especially the older seniors and juniors, and they should be given the chance to pass that knowledge on to their younger brothers and sisters.

The Tongil Manual 236

Secondly a discussion helps the students learn to be confident in the things they believe. As they talk to one another about the things they think are true, they come to see that they really are true. After such experiences students have reported finding it easier to talk to their friends in school about topics such as God and Prayer.

How do you keep a group on topic? We have found that the best way to keep a group on topic is to minimize the small talk. This of course is hard because some amount of small talk is a very good thing because it lets the group loosen up. However, when things start to drift one way or another, just remind the group that they need to get back on topic. Just about every time they will listen, if they don’t, intervene and talk about whatever topic is being discussed. After a few moments stop, and ask the next question.

If the group is absolutely not staying on topic it is usually because one or two of the students are either being disruptive, some of the students really have no idea about the topic being discussed, or the group does not feel comfortable enough to share openly about their opinions.

When people are being disruptive, sometimes the best thing to do is to ask them why they are acting that way. If they constantly misbehave perhaps the best thing to do is to ask them to leave, and talk with them one on one later. The student cannot be allowed to ruin the class for everyone else. After class talk to the student and explain why you did what you did, it is not because they are a bad person, but because they were ruining the environment for everyone one else.

When the problem is one of the last two options, then the best thing to do is stop the discussion early or to talk about something else. We have found that there is almost no benefit in talking about things before the students are ready to talk about them.

How do you get a quiet group to talk? Sometimes a group is just not very outgoing, and sometimes the group is just predominantly quite people. If this is the case, then a quiet discussion is fine, and the moderator usually ends up doing more talking.

There are two things that may help though. The first is to ask a question and have everyone in the group answer. The other thing to try is to ask people questions one at a time, and get into a micro-conversation with them about their answer. Both of these methods are ways of drawing out information that work well.

The Tongil Manual 237

How do you nicely ask someone to stop talking? If someone is dominating the discussion, just nicely ask them to give someone else a turn. Generally speaking people know when they are talking too much, but have a hard time stopping, so if you ask them to stop wrap it up, they generally will. The key is maintaining a humble and sincere attitude when doing this. Just kindly ask them to wrap up or stop so that someone else will have time to share.

In the very rare case that a student is just being disruptive, sit them down after the class and talk with them. Usually there is a reason for their behavior, often times tied to their life or family. If there really is a situation, please do not try to resolve it alone. Seek the advice of a central figure or civil authority.

What is the best way to keep track of time? We have found that it is really helpful if the discussion leader has some kind of watch with them. If one does not own a watch, or forgot to bring one, ask the students. Chances are one of them has a watch, or a cell phone with a watch on it.

How do you make sure every question gets answered? Getting all of the questions answered is not the most important thing. The important thing is that a few vital questions are answered correctly and the students have the chance to learn. If the entire class is spent answering the first question, this is not a bad thing as long the question is answered well and the students really learn.

Honestly speaking the questions are guide posts, and not concrete markers. They are meant to help guide the discussion, and not meant to all be answered. Answer the ones that there is time for, and don’t worry about the ones that don’t get answered. Just like a curriculum, a question should stay in the object position.

How do you make sure nobody feels left out? The best way to make sure that students do not feel left out is to spread the questions around. Generally speaking, in most groups there will be one or two students who are out going and want to speak. These students will naturally give most of the input, and this can be a wonderful thing. However, if they are they are the only ones giving input then the others will probably feel left out.

By directly asking what the quieter students think it keeps them involved.

The Tongil Manual 238

Appendix B: Buying food Food is an important part of any gathering, it not only brings people together but it is an easy way to make people happy to attend an event. It also gives people something to do while they relax, and is great for helping move along conversations (people can munch and talk at the same time.)

While it does not make sense to cook dinner for every person each time an event is held, having snacks is a wonderful idea. For those that do not have so much experience with providing snacks, we have compiled this simple appendix to help.

Deciding How Much to Spend The first thing to decide upon is a budget. In Colorado we rarely went over twenty dollars an event, but this depends on the size of the group. In general we think that anything greater than two dollars per participant is a little too much, since we usually had food left over and we generally had fifteen to twenty people (the average was about a dollar a person.)

Another thing to keep in mind when formulating a budget is to decide on how fancy the snacks should be. When watching a movie popcorn and soda is enough, but when having a panel discussion spending a little extra money on juice may not be a bad idea.

Types of Food to Buy

The second thing to keep in mind is types of food to buy. Our experience has been that the first instinct that most people have is to primarily buy junk food because it is cheap and the students like it. However, this is not a very good idea because junk food is high on sugar and if people eat too much they may feel sick or low on energy.

The reason why a person who eats junk food feels tired is because of how the human body copes with high blood sugar. When a person eats a lot of junk food the sugar enters into their system, and the body releases insulin in order to bring down the blood sugar level. However, the human body usually produces too much insulin which leads to a period of low blood sugar following a sugar rush.

In order to counter-balance this we generally try to purchase a good balance of foods, ranging from sweet to healthy. This is how we usually break up the budget.

The Tongil Manual 239

Food Type Amount to Spend Beverage $2-5 Healthy Snack $10 Unhealthy Snack $5-$7

Beverages The beverage of choice for our youth group is soda. Every super market has its generic brand that goes for about $1 per six-pack. These same generic brands can usually be purchased in a 24 pack for $2.50. One good tactic is to spend $5 one week, to last for two weeks.

We generally buy soda because it is the easiest to prepare. However, buying powdered drinks and preparing them before the event works equally well. The only problem is that one also has to buy cups, or clean the cups afterwards.

Since most people just cannot be bothered with that, we suggest something that is pre- packaged.

The other boon of pre-packaged drinks is that when they are not consumed they can be ported over from week to week.

Beverages like juice do not usually keep so long, and need to be drunk fairly quickly.

Water is also a good idea for beverages, since not everyone wants to drink soda. The problem that we have found with only have water though is that water gets bland after a while, and not all young people want to drink only water for two hours when they are hanging out with their friends.

When buying beverages it is important to go for variety. If there is soda left over from a previous event, we do not think it is such a good idea to buy more of that type of soda. Instead buy a different type so that people will have more options to choose from.

Healthy Snack Healthy snacks are exactly what they sound like, usually fruits and vegetables. What we have found works well is buying a vegetable platter, these range in price but a decent sized one is usually around $9, however buying a watermelon, a package of strawberries, or pre-sliced apples works just as well.

The Tongil Manual 240

The great benefit of buying this type of food is that the participants do not feel so tired after eating it and those who are health conscious can snack along with everyone else. Furthermore, a large bowl of carrots with a dip is something that students can pick at without feeling guilty and it is something that will give them energy without overloading their systems.

Unhealthy Snack An unhealthy snack is an unhealthy snack. Anything with a huge amount of sugar or fat falls into the category. Items like cookies, candy, brownies, cakes, muffins, potato chips, etc. These types of high-sugar food are usually very cheap, and there are always sales for one type or another. In most super markets there will be at least one option for 2/$5, which means two items for five dollars. That is generally what we suggest getting, something like two packs of Oreo’s, or five packages of cream filled oat-cookies (in the supermarket near my house these usually cost $1 per package.)

Other Every once in a while it is important to give a special treat, especially at events like a brothers or sisters night. What we have found works best is to buy a tub of ice-cream, or ingredients to make a smoothie. Using food stuffs like this allows for members to bond as they make their own personal favorites.

In the case of smoothies we have found that buying juice, fruit, and ice cream and letting participants make their own smoothies is an incredibly fun thing to do. Be careful however because it is very messy.

The Tongil Manual 241

Appendix C: An Introduction on How to be a Good Public Speaker Importance of Public Speaking In our experience, public speaking is something that will always be useful no matter what one chooses to do in life because one never knows when one will be asked to speak in front of a group of strangers. In the case of teaching public speaking is something that is used whenever a teacher stands before his or her class to teach. With this being the case we strongly believe that public speaking is a skill that anyone looking to be a teacher should be comfortable with.

There are several reasons for this. The first and most obvious is that a good public speaker is comfortable speaking in front of others. This most obvious reason is however not the most important one, nor the one we will primarily be focusing upon. The reason for this is because being comfortable with public speaking is something that comes naturally with time, and is not something that can be taught or trained. The reason why being comfortable is not the most important aspect of public speaking is because, as is probably obvious, there are a lot of people who are comfortable at speaking and are awful public speaker.

The difference between a good public speaker and someone who is not afraid to talk in front of an audience is that a good public speaker knows how to keep their presentations interesting, relevant, and to the point. Furthermore, a good public speaker knows how to package themselves and their presentation, and knows how to build a relationship of trust with an audience. The difference being that a good public speaker not only is comfortable talking to others, but knows how to do so in a way that is worthwhile and effective.

From painful experience we have observed that many of the leaders and teachers in our movement, while comfortable at speaking to an audience, are below average public speakers. The consequence of this is that many students have failed to learn all that they could, and many members have walked away from a presentation either bored or confused by their central figures.

In order to help remedy this we have compiled an appendix of the things we have learned about being a good public speaking.

The Tongil Manual 242

Public Speaking is Creating a Relationship The reality is that any type of conversation is nothing more than the creation of a relationship. In the case of public speaking the purpose of the relationship is usually to convey some knowledge to a group of students, or guide students in some type of activity.

We have found that by thinking of public speaking as building a relationship it not only releases some of the anxiety, but it puts the speaker in the right type of mindset. We believe this to be the case because a good relationship is built upon give and take action, and when one or the other is missing the relationship breaks apart.

In public speaking when an audience cannot receive what a speaker is saying then the relationship cease to function. Furthermore, when there is a relationship where the audience cannot give back then it is a very one sided relationship. Especially in the case of teaching, our experience has been that when a teacher does not create at least some level of dialogue with his or her students the students quickly lose interest.

For this reason it helps to look at public speaking in the same way that one looks at any type of conversation. Just as with all types of relationships public speaking requires a level of trust and a conveyance of heart in order to be truly effective.

Trust because trust acts as a doorway through which knowledge can flow. In our experience, when a student trusts a teacher, he or she is more likely to believe what it is the teacher is trying to say. The conveyance of heart is important because our experience is that sincerity is what allows a speaker to touch the hearts of his or her audience and show them the depth of his or her concern, love, and or interest.

Two aspects of public speaking In our experience there are two main parts to public speaking, the first and most important are the internal aspects. The internal aspects of public speaking encompass things like the content that is going to be taught and the heart with which a speaker speaks through the course of the presentation. We consider these to be the internal aspects because these are the subjective components of a presentation, they seem to guide and define what a presentation is about and how much a speaker cares for his or her audience.

The second aspect of a presentation is the physical aspect, or the tangible parts that people see when one is speaking. These include the clothes worn, types of words used, and format that a presentation follows. We believe that these external aspects are the objective

The Tongil Manual 243

component of a presentation because they are the matter the internal components use to create the presentation.

When these two aspects come together they create a subject-object relationship that forms a three object purpose that hopefully has a godly motivation. Ultimately this creates a four position foundation that forms a presentation.

Internal (Heart and Content) We believe that the subjective part of speaking is the internal aspects of public speaking. This internal aspect can be thought of as the heart with which a presentation is given, and the content that one prepares.

Heart The heart one has when one gives a presentation is perhaps one of the most important things one can cultivate before one gives a presentation. The reason why having the right kind of heart is so important is because the heart is the starting place for a presentation. At least in our experience, the heart is what pushes a teacher to actually want to uplift his or her students, and it is the heart that conveys the sincerity, passion, and beauty of the message.

Sadly there is no simply way to cultivate such a heart. It is our experience that cultivating a love for a group of people takes time and effort. We think that the easiest way to develop a heart of caring for a group of people is to serve or take care of them. We have seen that over time one’s constant emotional investment in a group of people builds a bond of love that can then inspire one to teach with the right kind of heart.

Another great way to cultivate the right type of heart is through prayer. We have found that by praying for a group of people, or praying that one can inherit the right kind of heart towards a group of people, one can actually come to care more for that group of people.

Once the proper kind of heart has been established, then one has a motivation for speaking, and we have found that this motivation guides and dictates everything else within the presentation. When this heart is lacking it can make a good presentation mediocre, and when it is in abundance it can make a decent presentation life giving and incredible.

Content The second part of the internal aspect to public speaking is the content being taught. The reason why content is internal is because the information one gathers is not physical. The

The Tongil Manual 244

notes one makes and the outline one prepares is physical, but those notes and outlines are just physical expressions of the internal content one has prepared within one’s self.

In that sense, teaching is a little like eating and regurgitating. The reason why we like this comparison is because when one learns something one takes information and experiences and brings them into one’s self, then when one teaches one takes that knowledge and experience and passes it on to others. The reason why this is important is because when one has no knowledge or experience within one’s self then one cannot share that knowledge or experience with others.

No matter how good a layout or PowerPoint one has, without the content those things are empty and useless.

With this being the case we believe that a presenter should do a great deal of research before creating a presentation. Luckily this is easier now than ever before and all one really needs is time and an internet connection. With the incredible amount of relevant materials on the World Wide Web there is no real excuse for not knowing enough about a topic.

Be careful though since a lot of the content on the web is not accurate. It is important that one verifies one’s sources, and if one wishes to use a site like Wikipedia then one should also find a second source to verify one’s findings.

External (Packaging) The objective part of public speaking is the packaging one uses to present the heart and content one has prepared. This includes the way one dresses, how one speaks, the words one uses, and everything else that pertains to the physical way in which one conveys information and heart.

The reason why packaging is so important is because people cannot see the content of a presentation. As we mentioned before, content is internal and intangible, and as such people cannot touch, taste, see, or smell it. All they can do is hear it, and the moment those words leave one’s mouth they cease to be and will never be again. We believe that packaging is so important because it increases the likelihood that an audience will listen, and when this packaging includes things like PowerPoint or a White Board it also gives audiences a better chance to retain the knowledge being shared.

The Tongil Manual 245

In our experience, when a presentation is packaged properly an audience has a much improved chance of listening. This idea makes more sense when one compares the packaging of a presentation to the packaging of a consumer product, like a computer game.

For example, when one goes into a store to buy a computer game one looks at the box to see what the game is about. If the game has a box with children petting horses, and the person shopping is looking for a shooter game like “Halo”, then they will probably not be interested. Even if the game is about a princess who rides a horse and wields an incredible assortment of guns on a one person quest to overthrow a dystopian empire, the person who looks at the box will not be interested because he or she probably has no idea of that by looking at the box.

Likewise, when one gives a presentation the way that one gives the presentation has a big effect on how most people listen to the presentation.

For example, if a doctor goes to a seminar to learn about the medical side effects of hallucinogens, he or she is probably more apt to pay attention of the person giving the presentation looks like a doctor. If the person giving the presentation looks like a bum, speaks with a surfer accent, and doesn’t seem to know much about medicine, then the doctor will probably assume that whatever the man is saying is wrong.

Since this is such a broad topic we try to only hit upon what we consider to be the most important external aspects of public speaking. There are:

• Do Not Use Jargon

• Dress Professionally

• Enunciate Words Clearly

• Do Not Overuse the Board (or PowerPoint)

• Do Not Abbreviate

• Be comfortable

Do Not Use Jargon The first point is one that is very important for teachers. Since students are not usually experts in any given field it is very important to not use words that are industry or field

The Tongil Manual 246

specific (called Jargon.) When using new words, or words that are specific to one group of people, we find that it is very important to define the words and explain them first.

For example, if I am taking about the difference between UDP and TCP/IP in networking it is probably a good idea to first explain that both are protocols used to share information between computers. Then, explaining what each of them is and how they work. For example I might say that TCP/IP is a handshake protocol, which means that it sends a packet of information and makes sure that it arrives correctly, and UDP is a broadcast protocol, which means that it just sends information out without checking to make sure it arrived.

What I should not do is start my presentation by saying that the internet uses TCP/IP for HTML transfers because of the higher fidelity offered by the SYN/ACK aspect of the protocol, whereas streaming video providers tend to use the UDP protocol because of its high output and lack of packet-level error-checking.

It is our opinion that the only time when one should use jargon is when one is in a group that knows about the jargon. For example, using the term “Four Position Foundation” is ok for BC’s, while “SYN/ACK” is appropriate for computer technicians.

Dress Appropriately Dressing appropriately is another very important part of public speaking, the reason why is because most audiences tend to judge a person based upon how they dress, look, and talk. For example, an audience will think a person in a lab coat is a doctor, and a person in torn clothes that are covered with filth is a bum.

The reason why this is important is because we have observed (and been taught) the way in which one dresses has a direct impact on how seriously an audience will take the presenter. For example, if someone was giving a presentation to a group of teenagers on what is cool, and they are wearing an old suit jacket with patches on the elbows and a checkered shirt with suspenders, the teenagers will probably think “Why is this person talking to us about this?” Obviously a person dressed in such an un-cool way could not possibly be cool.

However, if the person was wearing the latest fashions and then the audience is more likely to pay attention.

Likewise, when speaking to academic professionals, a person wearing hip clothes will more than likely be disregarded due to his or her unprofessional appearance.

The Tongil Manual 247

Since this is the case, it is important that one understands the audience one will be speaking to and dresses accordingly (this includes things like hair styles, cleanliness, and personal hygiene.)

In most situations this requires formal to semi-formal attire. In the case of teaching high school students we suggest either wearing a polo shirt or dress shirt. Nice slacks or clean well fitting jeans are also a good idea.

Enunciate Words Clearly Since public speaking is the act of talking to a group of people it is important that one speaks clearly. The reason why we believe this to be true is because when an audience cannot understand what one says, they cannot learn anything from what one says.

For some people speaking clearly comes naturally, however our experience has been that most people need to practice because a lot of people get very nervous when they speak, and this nervousness tends to make them speed up, speak quietly, and speak towards the floor. To circumvent this the best thing to do is practice speaking slowly enough to be understood, loud enough for those sitting in the back of the room to hear, and practice looking at the audience when speaking. Over time, and with enough practice, the correct volume, stance, pace become second nature.

As a tip, a great way to keep the speed of a presentation reasonable is to take full, deep, breaths while speaking. The act of breathing deeply forces one to slow down and make short pauses while breathing.

Another great tip is to not chew gum or eat anything while speaking. The reason why is because it is harder to understand what someone says when they have their mouth full, and the act of chewing can be distracting to an audience.

Do Not Overuse the Board (or PowerPoint) Another important tip when it comes to public speaking is to not overuse a white board or PowerPoint presentation. The whole purpose of having a white board of PowerPoint presentation is to record key bits of information so that the audience can more easily remember what one talks about. When either becomes too cluttered then the information they are trying to convey becomes lost in that clutter, and the board or PowerPoint turns into a burden instead of a helpful tool.

The Tongil Manual 248

In order to keep this from happening we suggest that all text within a PowerPoint presentation should be at least 28 points in size, with regular text at 32 point size and headings somewhere in the 36-38 point range. Another good way to keep information from being too crowded is to not over-use graphics. Since charts with too much text are confusing and hard to understand we suggest using simple charts, with the text in those charts being no smaller than 20 points in size (28 is more ideal).

Also, as a practical point it is important to keep flashy transitions and animations to a minimum. These things, while attractive, draw attention away from the content and from the speaker.

Furthermore, when using a board we suggest using different color markers for different types of information. We also suggest writing things in text size large enough for the people sitting in the back of the room to easily read. Furthermore, before erasing information ask to make sure an audience has copied it down.

In general, we feel that if the information on the board is not worth copying, it should probably not be on the board in the first place.

Do Not Abbreviate One thing that a lot of novice presenters do is abbreviate things, which is hopelessly confusing for an audience. For example, when one is giving a presentation on the principles of creation and one writes on the board the following:

Then an audience is probably going to get lost. If instead one writes out:

The Tongil Manual 249

Then the information becomes much easier to understand.

For this reason we implore that when one uses a board or PowerPoint presentation that one writes out the things one says. Abbreviations do save time when writing, but the time they save is usually not worth the confusion they cause.

Be Comfortable The final point we will talk about when it comes to the external aspect of public speaking is the importance of being comfortable. The reason why being comfortable when one speaks is so important is that when one is comfortable one has a much easier time being one’s self. This in turn is the best way to be confident, speak clearly, not forget things, convey things, and in general have a good time.

The reason why is because when one is comfortable one is not pressured to be or pretend to be something one is not. One can just live the moment, and one can convey with clarity who they are and what it is that they want to teach.

The problem is that nobody can teach anyone else how to be comfortable with public speaking. Our experience has been that being comfortable just comes with experience, which just underscores the importance of practicing public speaking.

Other Practical Suggestions Make an outline We do not think that it is possible to not over-emphasize the importance of having an outline when public speaking. The reason why is because most people forget things and, especially when it comes to longer presentations, it is almost impossible for a person to remember everything they wanted to say.

The reason why we stress an outline instead of a printed copy of one’s speech is because an outline is not a speech itself, but a list of points that one will talk about. The importance of

The Tongil Manual 250

such a list is that it reminds a person of the key points that they need to hit, and in our experience when a presenters knows what they are talking about just listing the points is enough.

In fact, our suggestion is that the only in-depth information on an outline should be one’s goals for the presentation, and any quotes one plans on using.

In the back of this book one can find an example outline, and a form that one can use for creating one’s own outlines. The form itself is broken into three sections, the first is for a list of goals for the presentation, the second is for the notes on the presentation itself, and the third is for a list of questions for group discussions. The third section is of course optional, but we have found that having discussion questions is a great idea when teaching information to students. The body of the presentation is simply a list of topics that act as a reminder for a presenter and help keep a presentation on track. The reason why we decided to have section at the top of the form to list goals was so that the speakers can more easily remind themselves of the purpose of their presentation, and guide their presentations to fulfill their goals.

As a final note on public speaking, it has been our experience that a single presentation should not try to cover more than two or three ideas or goals. The reason why we suggest this is because we have seen many presentations that try to cram too much information into too small a time frame. The end result is that the presenter simply does not have the time to go into depth about any single point. Furthermore, we have found that the more information a student has to try to absorb in a single sitting, the less likely they are to absorb it. From our personal experience we have found that covering one or two topics per lesson or presentation is the best setup.

We then follow up these lessons with a discussion to make sure that the students understood what was talked about.

In some cases there simply is too much information for one presentation. When this is the case we suggest breaking the presentation into smaller parts, called micro-presentations. We will go more into this idea towards the end of this appendix.

Public speaking takes practice The next tip that we would like to impart is the importance of practice.

The Tongil Manual 251

When it comes to public speaking, we have found that there is no substitute for practice. In fact we would go as far as to say that it is impossible to become good at public speaking without practicing it.

Even in the case of naturally gifted public speakers, practice is important because it teaches them how to pace a presentation, how to frame examples, how to close a presentation properly, and in general gives them the experience that turns their natural talent into real ability. This holds equally true for people who do not like public speaking and people who think they have no public speaking ability. Our experience has been that the experience gained by practicing allows any person to become an effective public speaker.

Like with swimming. The first time someone swims they are usually not very good at it. Even if they have had a lot of instructions and read a lot of books chances are that until they practice what they have read they will not be able to swim very well. However, after practicing what they have learned a swimmer can truly become competitive. The reason why is because practice is the safest way to gain experience.

This experience in turn is what builds confidence. More importantly, when this experience is linked to good training then the practice reinforces good habits and helps a person more easily do the kinds of things that make them a more polished public speaker.

Structure of a Presentation The third thing that we consider to be universally applicable to presentations is the structure of a presentation. In our experience all good presentations have an introduction, middle, and conclusion. The reason behind this basic structure is that it provides a very effective way to give people the information they need in a way that makes it easier to understand.

What can happen when this basic structure is not preserved is that an audience may become lost or confused as to what a speaker is talking about.

For example, if I am teaching a class on indemnity, and I walk up to the class and say, “Thank you, for hearing my presentation on Indemnity” they will be very confused because I did not have a beginning or middle, and started my presentation at the very end. Likewise, if I go to that same group and start my presentation by defining indemnity the audience is probably momentarily confused because they do not know what my topic is, who I am, or why they should be listening to me.

The Tongil Manual 252

To keep this from happening we suggest that all presentations follow the simple format of having an introduction, a body, and a conclusion.

An introduction to a presentation, just like with an introduction to book or movie, should set the stage for the presentation by letting the audience know what the presentation is about, why the information is worth listening to, and why the speaker is qualified to speak about it.

To re-iterate, a good introduction:

1. Starts with a brief greeting, followed by an introduction of the speaker. The reason why this is important is that it lets an audience know who the speaker is, and why the speaker is worth listening to, when teaching, this first step is not always so vital because the students normally know who the teacher is.

2. Next, a good introduction should briefly introduce the topic that is being presented. The reason why is because it lets the audience know what it is that they are listening to, and it lets the audience know what it is that they should be learning.

3. Lastly, a good introduction should have a hook. A hook is something that emotionally catches the audience, and the reason why this is important is because it this hook can be used to convince an audience to pay attention to what it is that the speaker has to say. One of the easiest ways to do this is to explain why the topic is relevant to the audience, and how the audience’s listening will make their lives better.

In some cases public speakers like to start their presentations with a story or joke. We believe that the reason why many speakers do this is because a small joke or story helps to create a relationship between the speaker and his or her audience. Be careful however, because this is not always a good way to start a presentation, and it has been our observation that deciding when to use a story or joke is a skill that one usually picks up over time, and since this is the case we do not suggest that novice or first time speakers do this. When a speaker does not have enough experience with comedic timing or storytelling a story or joke at the start of a presentation is an easy way to get off topic and or lose the interest of an audience.

Once a speaker has introduced who they are and what they are talking about they then talk about it. This second part is fairly strait forward, and changes a great deal from one presentation to the next, and since most people have a fairly good grasp of how this part of a presentation works we will not go into detail about it here.

The Tongil Manual 253

Finally, after a speaker speaks about whatever it is that a he or she is speaking about the speaker should end the presentation with a strong conclusion. In our experience this is the hardest thing for novice public speakers to do, most usually end by finishing the main body of their speech and saying thank you. The problem with this approach is that it does not conclude anything, and it does not summarize the presentation for the audience.

A proper conclusion should:

1. Summarize the most important parts of the presentation. This is vitally important because over the course of a presentation people will forget what has been said. The conclusion of a presentation is a great chance to give an audience the most important information one last time, and make sure that they understand the heart of what is being said.

2. Secondly, a good conclusion should end with some kind of direction or action. For example, if one was speaking about the fall of man, then a good way to conclude may be to tell the audience that they should under no circumstances fall, or if one was giving a presentation about the importance of public service, one could easily conclude by asking the audience to help with some upcoming service project.

The reason why we suggest ending a conclusion with some form of action is because it gives an audience something to do. If one thinks about it, the whole purpose behind most presentations is to get an audience to believe something with enough conviction to do something with that belief. By telling an audience what it is that they should do, it remove a lot of the mystery, and lets them know what it is they should be doing.

It has been our experience that when a presentation follows this basic outline it is powerful and much easier to understand. Even when a presenter rambles from time to time, a good conclusion can bring the presentation back into focus and a good introduction can capture an audience’s attention.

Keep it Short and to the Point One of the biggest mistakes that a lot of public speakers in our movement make is emulating True Father’s tradition of speaking for hours at a time. The simple truth is that most people do not like long speeches; the rare exception being when an audience truly loves the person giving the speech. When a person absolutely adores a speaker they want the speaker to go on

The Tongil Manual 254

and on, but even in these cases our experience has been that the audience almost walks away with almost no recollection of what was said, and instead usually only remember the fact that the person spoke, and maybe looked at them once or twice.

Our experience as teachers has taught us that when giving any kind of presentation, the shorter the presentation is the better. The simple truth is that most people simply do not have the attention spans to listen to someone talk for a long period of time.

It has been our observation that the average young person has an attention span of somewhere between five and fifteen minutes. There are of course ways to get a young person to pay attention beyond this time period, and we will go into two of them a little later, but generally speaking most people seem to lose interest in something when they are just passively listening to it.

For this reason we cannot stress enough the importance of keeping a presentation short and to the point. Essentially, we believe that a good public speaker goes in, says the things that they need to say, and then leaves gracefully. What a good public speaker does not do is finish their speech and then move onto several unrelated topics and personal anecdotes.

As young people who have had to sit through many speeches from leaders in our movement, we cannot stress this point enough.

We do of course realize that there are some cases where there is just too much information to squash down into one short presentation. However, we would strongly advise that when this happens one should not try it regardless. Instead we suggest that the speaker break the presentation into several micro-presentations, or simply spend the time doing a basic overview of the most relevant information.

We suggest this because it is our experience that it is better to not talk about too many things in any one presentation because it increases the likelihood that an audience will forget it. It is almost as if students remember the exact same amount of information from any given presentation. When one or two points are talked about, they remember one or two points. When eight points are talked about, they once again only seem to remember one or two points. With this being the case, we suggest using a series of Micro Presentations when there is a lot of information that has to be covered in a lengthy period of time.

The Tongil Manual 255

Micro Presentations A Micro Presentation is exactly what it sounds like. It is a presentation that is somewhere between fifteen and twenty minutes, and is meant to be a part of a series instead of a stand- alone seminar. When in the position to give a three or four one hour presentation we would suggest to instead give five or six micro-presentations.

The drawback is of course that having breaks takes time, but we have found that the improvement in people’s retention and the chances that these breaks give for discussions greatly exceeds this drawback. Also, it has been our experience that it is much easier to prepare six fifteen minute presentations than it is to prepare one three to four hour presentation.

One system of Micro Presentations that has worked well for us is one where there is a fifteen to thirty minute presentation followed by a ten to fifteen minute discussion and a five minute break. This leads to a block of time that ranges from half an hour to almost an hour, and encapsulates a team discussion and presentation on two or three relevant topics. Realistically what this means is that in a three hour time period there can be somewhere between three or six micro presentations, which can cover six to eighteen topics, which is a lot of information for only three hours time.

As an added benefit the participants usually have better knowledge retention, less boredom, and greatly improved focus. The benefits for a speaker are easier planning, greater topic diversity, and greater topic density.

Please be advised however that Micro Presentations do not work in all situations. For example, academic presentations are better suited to traditional lectures. Knowing when to use a micro-presentation and when to us a normal presentation is a skill that comes with practice.

Keeping an Audience’s Attention There are many ways in which a speaker can keep his or her audience’s attention, or regain their attention if one feels that the audience is losing focus. We would not suggest doing most of them. Things like throwing water balloons, yelling into the mike, and making obscene jokes may be funny but they are not respectful to an audience.

There are however a few tried and true ways of keeping or gaining an audience’s attention.

The Tongil Manual 256

1. One of the best ways that we have found to keep an audience’s attention is to change one’s tone of voice often. It has been our experience that speaking in a monotone voice is a great way to help an audience lose attention, and the opposite, having a very dynamic voice, is a great way to keep an audience’s attention.

2. Another very simple way of getting an audience’s attention is to ask them a question. By encouraging an audience to think, and by having a dialogue with a member of the audience, a speaker makes the talk much more interesting. Also, especially in large venue’s, it makes the presentation seem more personal.

3. Another classic way to get an audience’s attention is to walk around. By moving around the stage, or even amongst the audience, a speaker does something that is slightly different and energetic. When this is mixed with asking questions or having a dialogue with the audience it can become captivating.

4. Having an activity is a great way to re-capture an audience’s attention. Doing something like splitting an audience into teams and having them brainstorm a topic is a great way turn a more or less on sided presentation into a team-learning exercise. Also, it gives the audience a break from just listening, and gives them a chance to utilize what they have just learned or heard about.

5. Another very effective trick one can use to re-capturing an audience’s attention is to show a brief movie clip or sound clip. This is not only a great way of doing something different, but it gives an audience a new medium to learn through.

6. Another great way to help re-focus an audience is to tell them to focus. By telling an audience that they should pay attention to some point in particular one helps the audience remember the point in question.

To Summarize: 1.) Public speaking is not easy, but it is worth it

2.) It takes both time and practice, but it is invaluable for anyone teaching anything

3.) Public speaking is all about creating a relationship and using that relationship to teach something worthwhile and meaningful.

4.) There are two aspects to public speaking

The Tongil Manual 257

a. There is the content and heart one uses to present that content

b. Then there is packaging that the content has

c. Both are important, and both need to be studied and practiced

And don’t forget the practical tips, they will make life easier

The Tongil Manual 258

Appendix C Form 1: Public Speaking Outline Goals 1.) 2.) 3.) Body

Questions for Discussion (if applicable)

The Tongil Manual 259

The Tongil Manual 260

Appendix C Form 1: Public Speaking Outline (Example) Goals 1.) Express to students the importance of public speaking 2.) Explain the internal and external aspects of public speaking 3.) Give some practical pointers to help the students be better public speakers Body

6.) People use public speaking every day, and when one is really bad at it, it makes life very difficult

a. More people are afraid of speaking publically than they are of dying

7.) Public speaking is used to convey thoughts or ideas to a group of people

a. It is a relationship

8.) There are two aspects to public speaking

9.) Internal

i. The desire to want to help others

ii. People can tell when one care’s, and this moves them

iii. This can be cultivated through service, and prayer

i. One should know what one is going to talk about

ii. Research

10.)External (packaging)

a. Do Not Use Jargon

b. Dress Professionally

c. Enunciate Words Clearly

The Tongil Manual 261

d. Do Not Overuse the Board (or PowerPoint)

e. Do Not Abbreviate

f. Be comfortable

11.)Other Practical Suggestions

a. Make Outline

b. Public speaking takes practice

c. Structure of a Presentation

d. Keep it Short and to the Point

e. Micro Presentations

f. Keeping an Audience’s Attention

12.)Conclusion

a. Public speaking is not easy, but it is worth it

b. It takes both time and practice, but it is invaluable for a teacher

c. Remember, there are two parts to public speaking (internal, external)

d. And don’t forget the practical tips, they will make life easier (review them quickly) Questions for Discussion

1.) Is public speaking important? Why? (give an example of where public speaking can be used)

2.) How much practice do you have public speaking? Are you comfortable with how good you are at it? (if not, how can you become more comfortable)

3.) What is the easiest and hardest part about public speaking for you?

4.) Do you want to be a better public speaker? Why?

The Tongil Manual 262

Form 1: Designing a Curriculum Curriculum Authors: ____________________________________________________________

Curriculum Topic

Curriculum Topic

Sub Topics 1.) 3.) 5.) 7.)

2.) 4.) 6.) 8.)

Individual Lessons 1a.) 2a.) 3a.) 4a.)

1b.) 2b.) 3b.) 4b.)

1c.) 2c.) 3c.) 4c.)

1d.) 2d.) 3d.) 4d.)

5a.) 6a.) 7a.) 8a.)

5b.) 6b.) 7b.) 8b.)

5c.) 6c.) 7c.) 8c.)

5d.) 6d.) 7d.) 8d.)

The Tongil Manual 263

Form 1: Designing a Curriculum (Example) Curriculum Authors: ________Yongil Fleisher and Tomeo Wise__________________________

Curriculum Topic

Back to Basics Curriculum Topic

Sub Topics 1.) God 3.) Prayer 5.) Spirit World 7.) Indemnity

2.) Inheritance 4.) Goals 6.) BCSS 8.) BCSS

Individual Lessons 1a.) Does God 2a.) Testimony 3a.) What is Prayer 4a.) Why are Goals exist? Important

1b.) What is God 2b.) Testimony 3b.) How do you 4b.) Setting and like? Pray (Do’s and Do Keeping Goals Not’s) 1c.) Purpose of 2c.) Building a 3c.) 4c.) Creation/Free Will Culture of Heart 1d.) Building a 2d.) Purpose of 3d.) 4d.) Relationship w/ Movement God ~*~ 5a.) Do Spirits 6a.) What is your 7a.) What is 8a.) Why Exist, and How do Identity? Indemnity? Abstinence? we Know? 5b.) What really is 6b.) Changing your 7b.) Indemnity 8b.) Dating vs. a spirit? identity. Conditions Blessing 5c.) How do spirits 6c.) Dealing with 7c.) Indemnity vs. 8c.) Building a influence us? School Friends Indumbnity Culture of Heart 5d.) How can we 6d.) Church Life vs. 7d.) Real Life 8d.) influence spirits? School Life Examples

The Tongil Manual 264

5a.) Do Spirits 6a.) What is your 7a.) What is 8a.) Why Exist, and How do Identity? Indemnity? Abstinence? we Know? Time Period 27 Weeks

The Tongil Manual 265

Form 2: Lesson Plan Outline Lesson Title: ______________________________________________

Instructor Name: ___________________________________________

Takeaways 1.)

~*~ Defining Terms Used 1.)

The Tongil Manual 266

Basic Lesson Outline

~*~ Possible Discussion Questions 1.)

The Tongil Manual 267

Form 2: Lesson Plan Outline (Example) Lesson Title: _____What really is Indemnity?___________________

Instructor Name: ____Yongil Fleisher__________________________

Takeaways 1.) Students should know the four steps in Indemnity

2.) Students should know how Indemnity works

3.) Students should know why Indemnity is important

~*~ Defining Terms Used 1.) Indemnification in legal terms is the process of restitution in order to bring a victim back to the state before a crime

2.) In simpler terms: Indemnity is what we call the actions required in order to gain forgiveness for some transgression we have committed.

The Tongil Manual 268

Basic Lesson Outline 1. Define Indemnity & Give an example to make it more understandable

2. Briefly talk about the three types of Indemnity (Lesser, Equal, Greater.)

a. Use Broken Car Window example

3. Talk about the four steps of indemnity

a. Midway Position

b. Foundation of Faith

c. Foundation of Substance

d. Foundation to Receive the Messiah

4. Give examples, and ask for examples in order to help the students understand the clear and simple process.

5. Explain the importance of Indemnity

a. Sin creates barriers between people

b. Indemnity is the best way to remove these barriers

6. Have a discussion

~*~ Possible Discussion Questions 1.) What are the four phases of Indemnity?

2.) How does Indemnity work? Do you have any personal examples?

The Tongil Manual 269

Possible Discussion Questions 3.) In the example of the car window, who decided if Indemnity has been paid?

4.) Why is Indemnity so important anyway?

The Tongil Manual 270