The Healing Power of Forgiveness - WFWP Women's Peace Meeting in Birmingham, UK

J ust before Christmas, 125 women met in a packed The film created a deep, reflective atmosphere house for our last Peace Meeting of 2014 on the amongst us all, which continued as Diana Lampen, topic of ‘Forgiveness’. After briefly introducing founder with her husband, John, of The Hope Project, ourselves, and realising that we were coming spoke of her work for peace and reconciliation, together representing more than 40 different particularly in Northern Ireland during ‘the Troubles’. nationalities (!), we watched a very moving documentary She spoke of the Buddhist monk, Laka, who escaped film from South Africa entitled “Beyond Forgiving”. It with the Dalai Lama from Tibet, and who had to details the story of 2 people, both of them victims in meditate and search deeply inside himself to find a different ways, and both of them people of incredible ‘place of peace’ from which he could change his courage, who meet each other and embark on a journey attitude towards the Chinese, and overcome the of forgiveness, and beyond. ‘cancer of bitterness’. She spoke of Bishop Desmond Letlapa Mphalele was the director of operations for the Tutu, well known throughout the world for his military wing of the Pan-African Congress during the authentic voice, and for whom Apartheid regime in South Africa. He gave the order for  “..forgiveness is the journey we take towards reprisal killings in response to the murder of several black healing the broken parts … it’s how we become schoolchildren. Ginn Fourie was the mother of a young whole again.” She strongly recommended his most woman who was a victim in one of these revenge killings. recent book, written with his daughter, Mpho, Subsequently, in post-Apartheid South Africa, Ginn ‘The Book of Forgiving’. Diana’s words, and the wanted to meet the person who gave the order, which way in which they were spoken, had a profound resulted in her daughter’s death. The film shows their impact on all of us. meeting, her forgiveness of Letlapa, and the journey on which they embarked together, somehow managing to  “…if you cannot forgive there is a real danger of go beyond forgiveness to work together for peace and ‘victimhood’…” reconciliation in South African society, and then travelling  “…victimhood is not a profession. You need to put to other nations to share their profound story. it behind you and move on…”

 “…don’t ever tell someone to forgive .. some can and some can’t…”  “…forgiveness is not easy..I can’t stress that enough…”  “…forgiveness can free both people..If you can find it in yourself to forgive, you are no longer chained to the perpetrator…” Describing her, and her husband’s, own dramatic personal experience in Northern Ireland, when her husband John could have been killed, she said “… it’s when the understanding shifts…and you can see the ‘other’ not as a monster but as a fellow human being…” Sandy and friends from the Asha Centre. Sandy, one of 5 young women who had driven all the way up from the Asha Centre in Gloucestershire to attend the meeting, picked up on this point during the subsequent sharing. “How much do I need to forgive? This dramatic story (from South Africa) reminds me to be more forgiving in day-to-day life. We are hosting many young volunteers from around the world, and it’s hard sometimes to be an example for them. It’s not always easy.” All our sharing was quite deep, and personal, and this was an ideal topic for each of us to reflect in a meaningful way as we approached the end of 2014. The intimate atmosphere we are able to create also helps us to share more deeply and freely, as we put our many differences aside and come together with one heart, and our common desire for peace. We then moved into the quiet time of prayer and reflection, which always brings our meetings to a natural conclusion. Women sang beautiful songs from the Sikh, Hindu and Christian faith traditions, and there were several very moving prayers, particularly by our Muslim sisters, expressing our heart of She concluded with the suggestion that there are concern for the tragic suffering in Iraq, Syria and the many opportunities to practice forgiveness, both in wider Middle East. our families and in day-to-day life, in order that our heart can remain open towards ‘the other’.

Sabina sharing after Diana’s talk. Our time of candle-lit meditation and reflection.

Our world is in need of so much forgiveness, and the faces, and particularly women of all ages, bringing fact that we can come together like this, to reflect on together wisdom and experience with youthful this topic, is extremely meaningful. enthusiasm. We can look forward to 2015 with some This was a wonderful way to conclude our meetings optimism. for 2014, and it was encouraging to see so many new