Comfort Blessing Information and Guidelines

As of April 2014, True Mother has made it possible for Blessed widow/ers to receive comfort blessings. At the Leaders’ Assembly on Foundation Day, the international headquarters provided guidelines for the conditions of eligibility and process to receive a comfort blessing. Based on the guidelines from the international headquarters, the national Blessing and Family Ministry team has created a document with information and guidelines about the comfort blessing in America.

Please see the attached document, and distribute it to all the Blessed Families in your community. We would like every Blessed Family to have a copy to clear up any confusion that may be lingering regarding the comfort blessing.

If anyone has any questions, please contact the Ascended Family Ministry Coordinator, Annie Gagne, who is working with the BFM to support brothers and sisters whose spouse or child has ascended.

Also, please encourage all Blessed widows and widowers to fill out the BFM Survey for Widows and Widowers at https://bfm.familyfed.org/survey-for-widows-widowers/. The survey asks: (1) basic information about them, (2) what kind of support that they need, and (3) whether or not they are considering the comfort blessing. The survey is for anyone who has an ascended spouse, not just for those interested in the comfort blessing. The information provided in this survey will help the BFM team understand the scope and needs of brothers and sisters whose spouse has ascended.

Thank you for your cooperation in sharing this important information with our Blessed Families. We hope it can be a source of comfort and hope.

Dr. Michael Balcomb President

Crescentia DeGoede Director, National BFM

Comfort Blessing Information and Guidelines By: The Ascended Families Ministry Team and National Blessing and Family Ministry

I. Introduction and Definition What is the Comfort Blessing? A comfort blessing is an earthly blessing between a Blessed man and Blessed woman whose spouses have ascended to the spiritual world. It is not an eternal blessing. After the earthly spouse ascends, he/she will return to their original spouse.

The comfort blessing serves to protect the original Blessing of both earthly partners while they are here on earth, as well as serves as an important vehicle for continued growth in the four realms of heart while on earth. Comfort blessed spouses can provide care and support to one another and create a healthy two parent environment for their children during their time on earth.

Availability of the comfort blessing has gone through several changes throughout the history of our movement due to many complications in the spirit world. However, because of True Parents’ grace and compassion for our widowed members, they have made the comfort blessing available again as of April 2014.

Time Period before a Comfort Blessing In the past, True Parents allowed Blessed members to receive the comfort blessing only after at least three years passed from the time of his/her spouse’s ascension. During these 3 years the earthly spouse was encouraged to pray and establish conditions that were meaningful to the couple to connect with their spouse in the spiritual world and continue investing in the relationship. Conditions included reading Hoon Dok Hwe, prayer, fasting, bowing, spending time in nature, and investing in relationships with one’s children. Participation in Cheong Pyeong workshops was an excellent way to receive spiritual support.

True Father has said that the air we breathe in the spiritual world is love. If love is lacking in the Blessed Couple’s relationship, they will not be together in the spiritual world. As we understand in the Principle, spirits cannot grow in the spiritual world without our prayers and conditions. Therefore, it is important to take adequate time to nurture this love relationship between the earthly spouse and spiritual world spouse before a comfort blessing.

As of April 2014, the three year waiting period is no longer a requirement. However, it is important to take adequate time for healthy adjustments to be ready for a comfort blessing, especially if children are involved. In the secular world, when a spouse passes on, it is recommended that no major decisions be made for at least 1-1/2 to 2 years after the spouse has passed on because of the emotional upheaval death causes.

Comfort Blessing and Our Mission True Parents have commissioned each Blessed Central Family to fulfill the mission of Tribal Messiahship. Fulfilling this mission is a huge undertaking for any one individual to take on alone. There is a lot of spiritual power generated from a husband and wife working together. Through the comfort blessing, each spouse can support each other in fulfilling their respective missions and work together as a team to bring greater results.

Children in a Comfort Blessing The comfort blessing also allows for children to be raised by two parents instead of one. It is not an easy task to raise children, even with two parents. How much more difficult it is to raise them as a single parent. Children, even teenage or young adult children, benefit immensely from having a father and mother to care for them.

Due to our understanding about how the spiritual world works, it is recommended that no children be born from a comfort blessing. Therefore, precautionary measures should be taken to prevent pregnancy. Should pregnancy occur despite precautionary measures being taken, the Blessing and Family Ministry can be contacted to address all questions and concerns regarding the child’s lineage.

Approval for the Comfort Blessing Every effort should be made to discover that the spouse in the spiritual world supports the earthly spouse’s comfort blessing. This can be assessed through Cheong Pyeong or establishing meaningful conditions to seek an answer. Also, it is important that the children of both families agree to this comfort blessing so hearts will not be hurt.

When all parties agree, then a special prayer can be bestowed on the comfort blessing couple by an authorized officiator (further details in section 3).

II. Guidelines from our International Blessed Family Department

The guidelines for comfort blessings are very clear. The guidelines for a couple who did not have children and the earthly spouse wishes to have a re-blessing are also very clear. Please thoroughly read these guidelines. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact the U.S. Blessing and Family Ministry. There are two basic situations when a spouse has ascended, one if the couple has children and another if they do not.

A. If there are children and you choose to have a comfort blessing: 1. The comfort blessing is only for those whose partner passed away after starting family (after the three-day ceremony). Their union as a couple is only valid on earth. 2. The purpose of the comfort blessing is to develop the heart of a couple. The couple can have marital intercourse but should not have children. 3. Candidates with children and those with no children can receive the comfort blessing. (They each return to their original spouse in the spiritual world.)

Candidates and Conditions of Eligibility 1. Those who lost their partner after the three day ceremony 2. If they have children (on both or one side) 3. If the person strongly wishes to receive a comfort blessing

Process of the Comfort Blessing 1. Comfort Blessing Education (retreats, webinars or online self-study) 2. Meaningful conditions to confirm this is the right path to follow 3. Matching for the comfort blessing a. Making a personal connection to another Blessed widow/widower b. Recommendation by pastor, family or friend c. Online Matching System (cheon-il-guk.org), a matching website endorsed by the BFM 4. Acceptance of the match by both partners’ children 5. Comfort Blessing Benediction Service

B. Re-Blessing Option in the Case of No Children Re-blessing, in this case, means that the partner in the spirit world gets re-blessed to another spirit and the partner on earth gets re-blessed to another person on earth. Once the deceased partner gets re-blessed in the spiritual world, then the partner on earth, as newly single, can prepare for the Blessing.

The existing Blessing foundation is inherited by the partner in the spiritual world. For example: A 2075 Blessed spouse had no children with the spiritual world spouse. This earthly spouse can request a Re-Blessing, giving up the original Blessing. The spiritual world spouse maintains the 2075 Blessing foundation; the earthly spouse will be in the category of the new Blessing.

Candidates and Conditions of Eligibility 1. Those who lost their spouse after the three-day ceremony 2. If neither partner in the couple has any children

Process of the Re-Blessing 1. Comfort Blessing Education (Retreats, webinars or online self-study) 2. Ancestor Blessing (Re-Blessing for the partner in the spiritual world) *Requires Cheong Pyeong Spirit World Blessing Workshop 3. Participate in matching and Re-Blessing (Re-Blessing for the partner on earth) *Follow the guidelines in the U.S. Matching Handbooks

Note: If one’s partner passes away before the three-day ceremony, one can dissolve one’s Blessing and get re-Blessed. If one’s partner passes away after the three-day ceremony, one cannot dissolve one’s Blessing and get re-Blessed without the spouse in the spiritual world receiving a Spirit World Blessing first.

III. Process to Receive the Comfort Blessing Path to the Comfort Blessing:  After your spouse ascends and you complete your 40 day condition supporting their growth and your eternal growth as a couple, you need to take some time to re-arrange your life in relationship to your children, family, friends and work here on earth. Set meaningful conditions during this time and focus on a healthy and positive spiritual and physical life. Carefully protect your purity during this time.  If you have children, gain their acceptance of the possibility for you to receive a comfort blessing.  Report your desire for a comfort blessing to your local and district pastors when you are ready.

Finding Your Comfort Blessing Partner:  During your grieving process you may naturally connect to another widow/widower through the support groups on the BFM or BFA websites or through your local church.

When the time is right you can report your intention to seek a comfort blessing together to your local and district pastors. In this case you already have a growing relationship.  A suggestion may come from your pastor, family or friends. When this happens take time to intentionally build a relationship and get to know each other well. You can find good resources in Finding the One: a Guide to Matching and Blessing in the Unification Tradition matching handbook to support building a healthy relationship. If it is right, when you are ready, report your intention to your local and district pastors.  Alternatively, the Online Matching System (OMS) (cheon-il-guk.org) can help connect you to others seeking a comfort blessing spouse. Once you fill out your profile on OMS you will be able to see the profiles of other widow/widowers who are interested in finding a comfort blessing spouse. In this case, it is especially important to intentionally build a healthy relationship and get to know each other before you decide the comfort blessing is in your future together. If it is, report your intention to your local and district pastors.

Approval Process  You should never feel pressured to enter or not to enter a comfort blessing by others. Your decision to choose a comfort blessing path is yours and yours alone.  Both people need to freely choose to seek the comfort blessing together.  If you have children, they must meet your prospective spouse, have time to build a relationship and accept this comfort blessing.  Report your mutual desire for a comfort blessing to local and district pastors of both parties.

Requirements to Receive the Comfort Blessing  Choose the date for your Comfort Blessing Benediction Ceremony with your district pastor (or their selected representative)  40 days preparation period of offering prior to Comfort Blessing Benediction Service o prayer and reading (suggested readings available through the BFM)  Fill out comfort blessing report form online at the BFM website  Offering $210.00 each to the Special Blessing Offering of Gratitude to True Parents Fund  Get legally married during the 40 days or as part of the Comfort Blessing Benediction Service  Plan a Comfort Blessing Benediction Service with your district pastor (or their selected representative) that represents your couples and your families

Components of a Comfort Blessing Benediction Service  Attended by family and friends  True Parents’ words  Explanation of the meaning and purpose of the comfort blessing  Words from the couple committing to each other and the protection of their Blessings and families  Prayer from authorized officiator asking God to bless this earthly union to protect their respective eternal Blessings and support both families through it.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Can a widowed person receive the comfort blessing with a divorced person? A: No, because the comfort blessing is only available to Blessed widows/ers.

Q: Can a widowed person receive the comfort blessing with a non-Unificationist widow/er? A: No, because the comfort blessing is only available to Blessed widows/ers.

Q: For Blessed widows that got married to each other during the time when comfort blessings were on hold, can their marriages be approved as comfort blessings now? A: Yes, they would need to report their desire for a comfort blessing to their pastor and fulfil the necessary requirements outlined above.

Q: Can a young widowed person with children get re-Blessed instead of comfort blessed? A: No, they are not eligible for re-Blessing. However, through the use of OMS a larger pool of candidates for the comfort blessing may be found.

Q: Can the comfort blessing be between someone who received the Blessing as a first generation and someone who received the Blessing as a Blessed Child? A: In regards to the comfort blessing, individuals of different generations can receive the comfort blessing together so long as they are both Blessed widows/ers.

Q: Does a couple seeking a comfort blessing have to participate in a Blessing Ceremony in order to finalize their comfort blessing? A: No, comfort blessing candidates do not participate in a Blessing Ceremony. Instead, a couple seeking the comfort blessing has their own personalized Comfort Blessing Benediction Service led by their district pastor (or their selected representative) any time after they have fulfilled the requirements outlined above.