Susan Crosthwaite explains European FFWPU BFD 1st-Gen Matching System

The way First-Generation members of our movement get matched has drastically changed when compared to the days when True Father matched couples together. This article aims to explain the current system.

As God created us as beings of Free Will, the system reflects this with candidates having the freedom to say yes or no at any time during the process. This encourages the freedom to invest into a relationship without any time-pressure. If candidates don’t feel ready to commit, they may simply say no. If a candidate is ready to commit, they may say yes with their whole heart.

Requirements: For a First-Generation member to be eligible to enter the process they must fulfil certain qualifications. Members are encouraged to regularly attend church services and activities. Basically, playing an active role in the wider Unification community. This demonstrates that the candidate is trying his or her best to better his/her life of faith and care for people, thereby practicing the principles that promoted within our community. Members are asked to spend a year in active membership after coming to have faith in True Parents and to be sexually abstinent for at least a year prior to the matching process. A seven-day Divine Principle workshop is a minimum requirement as well as Blessing education. The candidate should also be involved in either responsible employment or study and is working to develop their local community.

How Do They Meet: Blessed Family Department representatives throughout Europe, as well as other matching supporters across the continent can view candidate profiles in a secure database. While there are various first- and second- generation matching websites that help candidates find one another, the primary focus is on the unity between people and the candidates’ advocates. Matching supervisors from abroad

(such as the United States, Japan, Oceania, etc.) – are all in communication. A strong focus on God is emphasised in the process, rather than the horizontal aspect of relationships. Otherwise, the process wouldn’t be much different from current dating culture.

Valuable guidelines: Certain aspects of this system can be applied to the Second-Generation System. In terms of giving Second-Generation freedom (within reasonable parameters) and giving them time. Another similarity is encouraging Second-Generation members to have good preparation in faith and heart long before they are introduced to someone for the matching. However, for Second-Generation matching the responsibility primarily lays on the parents.

Susan Crosthwaite, of the Blessed Family Department, shares some insight into her role and the success of “The European First Gen. Matching System”.

Susan Crosthwaite: My role for the last 10 years has been to supervise what we call “The European First Gen. Matching System”. Just over 100 couples have attended the Blessing with one or two European Candidates in the couple during this time. This system has been working quietly away and is a very reliable way for 1st Gen. folks (including ‘Jacob children’ who are people were born in a family before their parents received True Parents’ Blessing for their marriage) to find a faithful Unificationist for their beloved spouse.

Many have sent me the most beautiful pictures of their families and news of their lives as the years have passed, and it has been such a pleasure to work with our European BFD Representatives to search amongst the candidates for suitable partners.

We need to be sure they (potential matches) are people with a good life-style and character, and that they are free to agree to continue or decide to end the process at any time during the 7-month process of introduction, communication and heavenly courtship. In other words, they are taking full responsibility for their decisions and commitment if they decide to become engaged and receive True Parents’ Blessing.