Parental Love

I would like to speak systematically on the topic of love. First of all, we have to know parental love. It is important to understand very clearly about the instructive reason of love. By instructive reason I mean the truth about love. Our life, character and daily action all depend on belief which comes from thought. If we do not know any instructive, constructive idea, we have no way to build a beautiful world.

To know parental love is most important, more important than anything else. Even the Ten Commandments state that we should respect our parents. This is mentioned even prior to the fifth commandment which tells us not to kill. Many young people don’t respect their parents because they believe that their parents don’t love them. I have asked parents why they don’t love their children. Usually the answer is that they love their children but that they love one another more. The spouse is seen to be the other half of the person and very close. It’s reasonable, I know, because I have a wife and three children. My wife and myself ideally are one, and also the parents and children are one. Both are very important, but which should I prefer? I have to love my wife as my children and also love my children as my wife.

Ideally you could say that we should love everyone equally. Today many religious people say that we should love everyone and that love is beautiful. Actually, love is the cause of much suffering in this society. We have to know what we mean by love and what it is very precisely and concretely. The Bible and many religious teachings say that after you mature you should find your own mate, have a husband and wife relationship and become one in conjugal love. The spouse is seen as one’s second self. In my position as a teacher I have to know which to prefer because many people ask me practical questions.

Truth is confused today because people’s thinking and speaking is vague and disorderly. For example, nothing is wrong with materialistic values. However, if you prefer them over spiritual values, there is disorder, and this is evil. The same thing is true between conjugal love and parental love. Both are good, but if there is disorder, it makes us blind and we do evil without realizing it. I have to understand these things very clearly. It is difficult to know which love to prefer, because love can guide us in two directions, one good and one bad. Truth is often difficult to distinguish. For instance, greed seems to be human nature and yet it is evil. On the other hand, desire for constructive things is good.

Whenever I study anything, first of all, I give up my own concept. I really love my wife and my three children. But until my children have grown and found their own mate I feel a greater responsibility for them than for my wife. This is an undeniable fact. I confirmed it by my idea drawn from observing the inner nature of all creatures that have love. I have concluded that parental love is the strongest force in the universe.

Parental love is not easy for children to understand because it comes from the top to the bottom. You will never really understand parental love until you have your own children. Many children believe their parents don’t love them because sometimes they punish them or because sometimes the parents may go out to a restaurant or a movie by themselves. Just because they may go out and enjoy their life sometimes does not mean that they are neglecting you. Sometimes when you criticize your parents you pick up something small. No matter what, your parents love you. Parents never hate their children, although they may hate their bad habits and may sometimes misunderstand them. There is a famous quote: “ Hate sin but never the man himself.” Even though your parents may spank you, in the next moment they will take care of you; they feel your suffering and your pain. After I have spanked my children, I feel very sorry and cry inwardly.

The parent’s love towards children never changes. It is like the kindness of the sun. Without the sun nothing would grow and nothing would be maintained Yet, the sun’s kindness and importance is too much

to really fully appreciate. We would only realize it if on some occasion it became dark. I, myself, never fully understood parental love until I had my own son and daughters. The basic parental heart never changes. Parental love is indescribable. It is such a big love, it is unconditional. What is the love of a parent? To warmly comprehend, give and sacrifice. That is love. Principle says give and take, but parental love is to give without expecting to receive.

I saw movie titled “A Mother’s Eyes.” A mother had several children and one became blind. As time passed, one daughter was happily married and a son became a very successful politician. The son who was blind lived in a house that was so poor. Jn the town there was a very famous surgeon and through him it was possible that the son could receive his sight. The mother pleaded with the surgeon to give her son back his sight, and he told her that the only way was to get a new eye from someone for the child. So the mother offered her own eyes, but the doctor told her to only give him one eye as she had to do a lot to take care of her son. The child had the operation and received his one eye from his mother. Even though such a beautiful world had opened up to him he became angry because he wanted both eyes. The doctor explained to him that it was his own mother’s eye and then he saw her coming down the hall with only one eye and cried.

This is an example of love. But today there are no heartistic teachings and no conscientious teachings in stories. All that is emphasized is rationality, physics, science and analysis. No depth of the heart or conscience is taught. Yet a person’s life, his actions and his character depend on what he has faith in. Today fathers and mothers are sometimes cold because they have been influenced by shallow ideas which seem very reasonable. But people can truly recognize something constructive, instructive and sincere. When we hear such a beautiful story as I mentioned, we can realize that we are all human beings, whether yellow, black or white. Skin does not matter; the blood is the same. Our heart and our conscience is the same and is based on love and truth, warmth and sincerity. Because these are lacking today, people are lost. Americans are very reasonable, but heartistlcally they are wrong.

I saw an old man and woman who were living not as human beings but as people who were two-thirds dead. It was so sad to see. They were just existing. I wanted to ask, why did you put your parents in such a home, or in such a hospital? People say it’s because their parents are old and cannot take care of themselves. Then they say they are now independent and that there is no need for them to relate to their parents. This is very reasonable, but heartistically it is wrong. Sure, you can be independent, and go your separate way, but children should want to take care of their parents. Your parents took so much care of you when you were sick, when you were hurt. It is not right that the child just tells them that they should go to the hospital. If parents have no love or respect from their children, then their whole life Is lost.

If parents are respected and loved by their children and by their friends, then they have a wonderful life. This society is reasonable but it lacks heart, which is so sad because men are basically emotional. Children should know how to take care of their parents. Of course if they· want to be independent they can, but they should think more of their parents. Speaking of love is not love. Love must be manifested. Therefore, many people have said this society is dead and hard. In order for this to be overcome, we must have heartistic education.

Parental love is unchangeable, and children should realize this. We have to respect our spiritual parents, and we have to respect our physical parents. There is a good reason that the Ten Commandments tell us to respect God first and then our parents. This is the essence of the Ten Commandments.